I apologise profusely for my absence but with a university degree, volunteer work, a part time job... Fic writing had to take a back seat. And with so many fics demanding my time, it's not easy to keep up to date with them all on a regular basis!
So I'm sorry it's short, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.
It was still warm as darkness fell. Astrid was still sat before Finn's grave, cursing her own weakness and sentimentality. She was sat cross-legged on the dry hard ground, head hung low.
"I just don't know what to do. Truth is uncle; I'm really scared he's right. That I am just going to hurt Hiccup. I don't want to hurt him, but maybe I'm going to. But how can I stay away from him? I need him to help tutor me, but it's worse than that uncle, I like spending time with him. At least, I think I do. I enjoyed it last time. Should I stay away?" She gave a heavy sigh. She'd been battling with herself since rational thought returned after she broke down and cried. The truth was, she feared she was worthless, that she didn't deserve someone like Hiccup.
"I really wish you could answer me. I could do with you being here right now. You always guided me, showed me the way. You were the hero around this place." She got to her feet again and stared at the blank stone as if hoping he might suddenly appear there and answer all her questions, but he didn't appear. And there was no surprised Hiccup standing behind her to ask if she was ok.
Reluctantly she said a brief farewell to her uncle, even though she knew there was no point. She'd never gotten to say goodbye really, so maybe this was her way of making up for it. She dragged her heels as she made her way back to the house, not really wanting to return home. She was late, even for a training night. She'd be in trouble for that, she didn't doubt that at all.
She hoped maybe he'd keep his calm and that she could explain, very reasonably, that practice over-ran and then she went to visit her uncle's grave. He couldn't get mad about that could he? And she'd tell him her phone was out of charge. Yeah, that should be ok... Shouldn't it?
When she got through the door though, it appeared it wouldn't be necessary. There was a small microwaveable pizza on the counter in the kitchen and a scrawled note beside it.
Astrid honey,
Gone out for a meeting over dinner and drinks. Be back late tonight, sorry there wasn't much in the freezer for dinner. Make sure you get your work done, have dinner and get to bed in good time, can't have you late to school tomorrow!
Take care sweetheart,
Love
Dad x
She couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped her lips as she read the note. He'd never know she'd been out late. She threw the note in the bin and tore the packaging from the pizza before flinging it into the over-used microwave. She glanced in the fridge and freezer, there really wasn't much left. Even less in the cupboards she discovered. She'd have to go to the shops soon or there wouldn't be anything to eat all.
She carried out her usual routine on nights her dad was out, she played back the answer-phone messages, just as well, her coach had phoned to ask why she hadn't been at practice. She deleted that and then checked through the mail for anything of interest. She still looked through it like a school girl waiting impatiently to see if she'd get a letter from Hogwarts, she always hoped one day, something unexpectedly amazing would turn up in the post. She didn't know what, she just hoped. Then she began attempting her homework as she ate her pizza. She'd cast aside the chemistry and maths after a short while deciding it could wait until tomorrow when she could ask Hiccup for help, then she felt a sickening feeling in her stomach remembering Fishlegs' words. But if she just needed Hiccup to tutor her there was no harm right? But it's not just tutoring if you order take-out and watch a movie is it? It wasn't a date though, it wasn't like he was taking her to the cinema and paying for dinner... Except he DID pay for dinner last week. She'd tried to pay, she reasoned, and she was going to pay this week to even it out. And the least she could do was pay for food since he wasn't charging her to be tutored, right? Or is that really the reason? Who are you trying to kid? She should definitely ask him tomorrow about what kind of fee he wanted for tutoring her.
He laughed. He laughed a lot. And really loudly. He threw his head back and laughed as if he never had before, one hand on his stomach as he suddenly doubled over with fits of laughter. She stared for a minute. Seeing him laugh was new enough, but this kind of laughter... It was totally different. Under other circumstances, she might even have smiled because of it. Instead she folded her arms waiting for him to stop laughing.
"Are you done?" She asked, her teeth gritted.
"Yeah, yeah I think I am done. At least for now. That was hysterical. Very funny Astrid." He said, wiping tears of laughter from his face. She failed to see how it was that funny and she looked at him sternly.
"I was serious." And then he collapsed into another fit of laughter. "I'm completely serious so would you stop laughing and be serious too?!" She half snapped at him. He stopped abruptly and looked at her seriously.
"Ok. I'll be serious now."
"Thank you. So, how..." He burst out laughing again.
"I'm sorry! I can't take it seriously!" He laughed and she turned away pouting. "Astrid, Astrid... Look... I'm not going to charge you for my help! That's completely absurd! Where did you even think up such an idea from?!" Hiccup was still laughing, the laugh carried up to his eyes making them bright and dance with a strange playfulness she'd never seen before.
"Because well... I can't expect you to offer me your services for free!" She protested. He laughed again.
"Astrid you make me sound like a hooker or something! My services?! It would be services if I was fixing your car or something! I'm just helping you out. One class mate to another."
"But..."
"No buts Astrid." He said seriously as he unlocked his front door. "I'm just helping you out. You don't owe me anything. Oh, before we go in, there's no Toothless today because Gobber is here."
"Right so my lips have to stay sealed. And Hiccup, I can't just..."
"Yes you can Astrid. And you will. There's no need."
"But."
"Nope."
"But"
"No"
"Hiccup."
"Astrid."
"Hiccup?"
"Gobber?"
"Alright there lad? You got company?" Gobber emerged from the living room. "Astrid?! Oh, I'll leave you to it shall I?"
"Gobber she's here to study. I'm helping her with her maths and science. No need to go running away."
"Ach, alright then lad. If ya say so." Something is his gaze seemed to not quite believe what Hiccup said. It made her feel uncomfortable, but she didn't know if it was because he thought they were something, or because Hiccup had so casually waved it off. "Well let me know if err... you need anything. I've not thought about dinner at all lad, and I don't know if yer father will be back..."
"Let's assume not since that's the usual case." He replied, there was a note of coldness in his voice that surprised her. "We're probably going to order take-out if you want to get in on that."
"Aye that would be grand lad. What're ya both thinking of ordering?"
"I think we'll order after doing some work first Gobber. I'll give you a yell when we're ready." He said casually kicking off his shoes and wandering past into the living room. Astrid kicked off her own boots and followed him in, giving Gobber a nervous smile as she passed him.
"Alright... I'll just be in the other room." He said giving them a courteous nod and exiting. Hiccup waved a casual hand to show acknowledgment of his words but otherwise gave no indication that he'd listened at all. Casual Hiccup was very different to the nervous boy she knew from school.
"Right, you ready to do the homework?" He said tugging his books out of his bag. He had twice as many books as she did she noticed as he spread them over the glass coffee table. She nodded silently and moved to sit down with him.
They'd been working for little over an hour when her stomach gave a loud rumble. Hiccup laughed again.
"Hungry are you?" He chuckled. She looked away quickly, she'd skipped lunch since there'd been no food at home and her dad hadn't left her any money to buy lunch at school.
"No!" She protested, as very unhelpfully, her stomach gave another loud growl. "My stomach is just making noises."
"And I thought I was bad at lying!"
"What do you lie about?" She asked suddenly curious. She couldn't see him as a big liar.
"Are you kidding me? 'Hiccup, what's all this hair on the sofa?' , err it's mine." He said by way of example. " 'Hiccup, why does the dry room smell like a wet dog?' Because I left my wet socks in there and my fur hooded coat. 'Hiccup are you annoyed at me for not coming home at the weekend?' Why would I be annoyed? Because you swore for once you'd actually come home and spend some time with me? No..." He said, his voice bitter and dripping with sarcasm. She bit her lip nervously, maybe there was more to his easy-going lifestyle.
"Hiccup? Are you...?"
"Anyway, you're a bad liar. You're clearly starving so we'll just order food a little earlier tonight." His attitude flicked back like a light switch.
"No you don't have to! We've on been studying an hour!"
"Yeah but we walked back so you were bound to have burned off whatever you had for lunch anyway." He said grinning. She gave a nervous laugh. "Please don't tell me you just ate some limp salad to 'keep your figure'" She weighed it up, what sounded better, that she ate a salad or not at all? It wasn't intentional not to have eaten...
"No I err... I forgot my lunch today and I didn't have any cash on me..." She admitted quietly, brushing back a strand of hair.
"What?! So you haven't eaten at all since breakfast?!" He sounded truly appalled. "Did no one lend you money?!"
"I didn't ask... I didn't want to admit that..."
"Why didn't you say something? I could have given you some money for lunch!"
"I couldn't have accepted that anyway Hiccup. But it's fine. Now can you help me with this question..."
"We're ordering food right now! You need food to focus! What do you want this week?" He asked jumping up to go to retrieve the menus from the drawer.
"No Hiccup honestly, it's fine!"
"Gobber we're going to order food!" He yelled. "Now what do you want?" He said turning his attention back to her.
"Hiccup... Oh for the love of... Fine! Kentucky! I want a boneless banquet bucket, side of popcorn chicken and coleslaw... and I'd like a diet pepsi!"
"Alright Astrid, coming right up. Gobber!" He yelled "Going to order Kentucky! You want the usual?"
"Aye lad, that would be grand thanks!"
