"Beth, what do you mean the marshals took dad? Slow down." Duane Lee was trying to calm Beth down so he could understand but she was hysterical.
"They came in and took him Duane Lee. They surrounded the house and handcuffed your dad in front of the kids. They've just got Tim so they'll be coming for Leland!" Beth spoke slowly so that Duane Lee would understand this time.
"I'll call you back." He dropped the phone and started shouting. "Leland! Kizz! Get up and get dressed now!" He ran and locked the front door and shut all the windows. Kizzy came out of their room in a Dog t-shirt and a pair of Leland's boxers. Her hair was mused and he could tell he had just woken her. Leland followed behind her in just a pair of jeans.
"What the fuck man?" Leland growled. He hated mornings and today was worse since they'd been out until 3am chasing a fugitive.
"The marshals are on their way here to get you. They've just grabbed dad and Tim." Just as Duane Lee finished speaking the whole apartment shook. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! They were pounding on the door.
Leland kissed me and then went to unlock the door. The US Marshals burst in and instantly surrounded Leland, he was petrified. I could see it in his eyes. They moved me and Duane Lee and brought Leland further into the apartment while they served his warrant and handcuffed him. They were trying to make it as easy as possible but they kept screaming at me and Duane Lee not to move. "Can I at least put some socks and a t-shirt on him? Please?" My eyes were brimming with tears as I spoke. I'm not sure if that helped but one of the marshals nodded and I was escorted back into our room to grab the stuff.
I came out and knelt in front of him so I could put his socks and shoes on they took the cuffs off him while he put his t-shirt on and then cuffed his hands in the front. Seeing him like that broke my heart. I threw myself at him and sobbed. He had been through too much already. He didn't deserve this. I managed to slip his rings off through my tears. Losing them would devastate him.
One of the Marshals went to grab me to pull me away until Leland growled "Don't you fucking touch her." The man stopped in his tracks. He honestly didn't know what to do. "Duane Lee come and get Kizzy. You look after her bro. I swear if anyone hurts her or touches her it's on you." He kissed me then as Duane Lee crossed the room and scooped me into his arms. "I love you Kiss." He called as they pulled him to his feet and dragged him out to the cars.
"Leland!" I screamed. I tried to pull away from Duane Lee but he wouldn't let me. I was screaming after Leland as they drove away. There was no words just utter desperation. I screamed wordlessly until I lost my voice and Duane Lee held me through it all. I cried so much I made myself sick and still he didn't let me go. Eventually I fell into silence. It was then that he picked me up and put me his car.
He drove me to Beth's house and carried me inside. Beth and Davina hadn't coped much better than I had. There was usually noise and chaos filling the house but it was all gone. Justin had taken the younger kids to school and everyone else was huddled in the living room watching in horror as the story broke on TV.
I'm not sure where Beth found the strength but she did numerous TV and Radio interviews all day. She was hounding the press and generally making things difficult for the US government. I stayed by Duane Lee the entire time. He held me and comforted me all day. I think he thought that he had to protect me not only because he loved me but because Leland had gave him that job. It was something he could do for his brother so he didn't feel quite as useless. Davina didn't want to talk or eat or watch TV. She was like a zombie; the US Marshals had kicked in her door and took Tim from their bed. She had been naked at the time.
I had Leland's rings and I wouldn't let anyone else even touch them. I had slipped them off his fingers while I was helping him dress for prison. They were a piece of him and I was clinging to them for dear life. I was playing with them when my phone rang. "Hello?"
"Hi, Kizzy? It's Maui. I know this is a shitty thing to ask but can I send the boys over to you? They want to be there with you guys so they can be with Leland when he comes home. I'll understand if you don't want them there but they asked me to call you." Maui sounded like she'd been crying. She still cared about Leland and this was hurting her too.
"Of course you can. I'd love to have them here. I'll get Duane Lee, Justin and Tucker to pick them up. Thanks Maui." I smiled at the phone. She was quite nice when you got past what she'd done.
"See you soon Kizz and I'm thinking of you." She hung up before I could reply.
I drove to the airport with the guys to pick up Dakota and Cobie. When they saw me they bolted into my arms. Having them with me made me feel closer to Leland. It was like I had 2 pieces of him with me. Dakota was trying to be strong and tough so he played basketball with Justin and helped Baby Lyssa look after the younger kids. He would constantly come and check I was OK though and give me a hug. His dad would have been so proud. Cobie was terrified. He refused to let go of my hand and would constantly be in my lap. He was sure the bad men were coming to take me next and he swore he would kick their butts when they tried. It was heartbreaking but unbelievably cute at the same time.
Those 40 hours were the longest of my life. I couldn't even go and meet them when they were released because Leland didn't want to drag the boys into the media circus so I stayed at home with the kids while everyone else went to get the men. Leland rung me as soon as he was in the car on the way home and I burst into tears. Dakota held me while I cried and it was a strange feeling. I would never be a mother figure to this young man but right then I knew we would always be friends. He didn't just tolerate me for his dad; he actually liked me.
When they got home Leland wrapped all 3 of us in his arms. I was sure he was never going to let go. After a while Dakota and Cobie slipped away to see their grandfather and everyone else but I stayed in his arms. I was trying to convince myself that he was real. I silently slipped his rings back onto his fingers and I felt him smile. He took one of the smaller ones back off and slid it onto my thumb. "I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too. Having Dakota and Cobie here with Duane Lee and Lyssa helped though." I pulled away so I could look at him but I refused to let go.
"Really? How so?" He was rubbing my wrists with his thumbs and it still made me shiver.
"It was like having pieces of you all around me. Duane Lee and Lyssa kept up our spirits with stories of you guys as kids. I thought the story about how your dad tried to take your wobbly tooth out was very cute though." I laughed then as he shook his head and laughed. "And Dakota is so much like you it's scary some times. He watched me constantly and looked after me. You would have been proud. Cobie nearly cuddled me to death and I don't think I would have coped without it. Put it all together and I had some of you with me." As I talked we were joined by the rest of our family. We all cuddled together around the fire pit outside and it felt good to all be there.
A few hours later all the children were asleep. We had made a exception for Dakota and Cobie and allowed them to stay with us as we sat and just talked. We did this at least once a week. All of the adults in the family would gather and we would just talk and catch up. It was a strict 16 and over rule generally but that day was an exceptional circumstance. I sat on Leland's knee and just listened. We had battled through so much that I had forgotten how peaceful the family was. I was lucky to be included as part of it; not only because of Leland but in my own right too. I belonged here.
It had been over a month since they had been released but they refused to hunt. Dog, Tim and Leland wouldn't go and hunt because they felt ashamed. A condition of their bail had been that they had to wear electronic tags and were only allowed out during certain hours. It was like those few months after Mexico all over again. I think it was worse this time because their own government had done this to them.
Eventually Beth and I had convinced a judge that these bail conditions were stopping the men from working so today the ankle bracelets were being removed and their house arrest was lifted. I saw the 3 of them genuinely smile for the first time in weeks. A weight was being lifted from them and they felt human again.
"Hello Kassandra." I recognized that voice. Nobody ever called me by my full name except Jacob. I didn't even bother turning around. I was stood at the back door of our office looking in. Leland was sat on the couch having his tag removed. He looked so happy.
"What do you want Jacob? You aren't welcome here." I knew my voice was cold and I didn't care. I felt nothing for him anymore. He had systematically destroyed any feelings I had left for him a long time ago.
"Now that's no way to talk to an old friend is it? I miss you." I spun round then and stared at him. He was pathetic. He honestly thought that I'd forget everything that had happened because he missed me.
"I don't care Jacob. I don't care about how you feel or about what you want. I don't care about you anymore!" I spat the words at him. I looked right into his eyes as I spoke and I knew I meant every word. He wasn't the person I knew and I didn't like who he had become. I didn't even care enough to hate him anymore.
"You don't mean that. You love me." He was so sure of himself. He didn't think he had done anything wrong and that bewildered me. He had made my life hell but he didn't grasp that. He didn't seem to understand that his actions had consequences.
"I don't. I loved the idea of you Jacob. I was never in love with you. I don't feel anything for you. I don't even care enough to hate you. After everything you've done I don't even care that much. You are nothing to me. As far as I'm concerned you don't even exist. Goodbye Jacob." I turned to walk back inside I had nothing left to say to him and I didn't care about anything he had to say. I was sick of hearing excuses and today was a day for celebrating not dragging up the past.
"NO!" He screamed. I felt him move and then I felt nothing. He was right behind me and I knew he had hold of my shoulder with one hand but I couldn't feel anything else. The world was turning white. I expected it to go black but it wasn't. Jacob let go of me then and I fell to the floor in a heap. I couldn't hold my own weight up and it scared me. I remember his hand being red and then I heard a clatter as something hit the floor next to me. He ran. Jacob left me lying on the floor; he didn't even try to pick me up. I was angry with him for that. He should have helped me up.
"Kiss! Look at me Kiss. Stay with me." I knew it was Leland. Even though I couldn't quite focus on his face I still knew it was him. I'd know him anywhere because he was part of me. "I'm not going to lose you! Where's that fucking ambulance?"
"I love you my Leland." I whispered and that's when everything went white. I couldn't hear him anymore and I was scared. Then I was nothing. The white disappeared and everything was dark. I fought it though because I just wanted to see him one more time. I couldn't go without seeing face; it didn't feel right. I wasn't ready. I knew my body was dying but I didn't want to leave.
