I don't own Twilight.

I rolled out of bed the next morning. I was sweating. My fever must have spiked last night. I whipped sweat from my forehead. Today was going to be a long day. If I survived it.

I took a shower and got dressed in clothes I didn't care would be shredded. I grabbed and extra shirt and extra pair of shorts. I grabbed a few granola bars for breakfast. I went outside. It was dark, the clouds a heavy gray. The rain poured down soaking the ground. I stood in a mud puddle letting the cold droplets cool my skin. The relentless rain soaked my clothes but I couldn't care. The relief was almost instant.

I walked out to the forest, the tall green trees seemed haunting. Lightning illuminated the sky, only to be followed a second later by a loud peal of thunder. The defining crack hurt my ears. Under the shelter of the trees I set my extra clothes on a fallen tree. One that wasn't covered in bright green moss.

I noticed how early it was. My house was silent, my parents still sleeping. The roads quite. The only noise in the sleeping town was the rain and thunder. I sat next to my clothes on the fallen tree.

I thought of something, anything I could do. I knew I didn't want to phase, knew I didn't want to give in to the unreasonable anger. I knew I didn't want people in my head, knew I didn't want people to know my darkest secrets. I knew it was shameful, childish.

I knew that the second I phase the pack would know everything. The lies, the truth. I hated knowing they would see what I couldn't see until that dace, that peck on the cheek. He would know. It would never be the same again. I would rather die than imagine a distance between us, for that uncomfortable edge to creep into our friendship. I knew if he found out that he would never look at me the same way. My eyes stung. I covered my mouth covering the sob, forcing back down. Tears were weak. Tears are useless. I would not cry.

I hated how one little thought could destroy me. How one emotion could shred my sole. How one look from him could kill me. My eyes started stinging, the tears begging to be released. I pressed my fingers to them, dulling the sting. But, try as I might, the tears still came. Hot streams rolled down my cheeks only to land on the already damp moss. I was pathetic.

I envisioned him knowing. Saw his beautiful lips forming the four words that would cause me a fate worse than death. I don't love you. I tried to shake the images from my mind, but I couldn't. My shoulders heaved in sobs. I covered my mouth to muffle the horrible sound. Weak. Pathetic. Childish. Shameful.

I wrapped my arms around my legs, pulled myself into a tight ball, and rested my forehead on my knees. I wished none of this would have to happen. When I had found out about the guys being werewolves all I had ever wanted was to run with them. Be one of them. Now I see how stupid it had been to think like that. The pack has no secrets.

I whipped the stupid tears off my face. Crying would do me no good. I put my spare clothes on a low branch that was dry. I turned back and stared at my house. I weighed my options.

I could stay and phase. Risk my friendship. Or I could run just like Jacob did. Get far enough away no one would know if I phased. Of course Jacob had come back, I wasn't planning on that.

Option two it is. I sprinted back into the house. I crept silently on the squeaky floorboards and made sure no one woke up. I grabbed money and my car keys. After a second of contemplation I grabbed my bag from under my bed. It was fairly big and would hold plenty of clothes. I stuffed it full. I grabbed my phone as I left through the front door. I glanced around at the seemingly empty forest and shoved my bag into the back seat. I jumped into the front seat, shoved the key into the ignition and slammed the car into reverse. I didn't bother with my seat belt. I whispered my goodbye to La Push.

As soon as I was on the road I shifted into over drive and sped off. I pushed the gas pedal as far down my nerve would let me. I still had tears in my eyes. And soon they leaked out. The sun was just creeping up on the horizon. Peeking through the slowly dissipating clouds. The storm was over. I pulled on a pair of sunglasses as the rays blinded me, reflected off my tears.

I was nearing the city limits when my phone went off. I glanced at the caller. It was Jacob. I threw it onto the passenger seat and pushed the pedal farther down. It stopped ringing. Maybe it was a false alarm. It started ringing again. Or maybe not. I picked it up and shut it off. Hypocrite.

I saw a movement in the shadow of the forest. A chocolate brown wolf. I cursed Quil under my breath and pushed my car faster. I didn't care about the cops or about hydroplaning. I cared about my sanity. I saw another shadow on the other side of my car. I fixed my eyes on the road, refusing to look at them.

I was of the outskirts of Seattle when I needed to stop for gas. I knew they had followed me. I headed toward an area with no trees to get my gas. I filled up quickly and paid. I glanced around to see no one anywhere. I jumped in my car and took off.

"Jade." someone groaned from the backseat. I stomped on the break. Luckily I had put on my seat belt this time and didn't fly through the windshield. The person on the floor of the backseat however hit the back of my seat with a loud thump.

Fortunately there was no one behind me. Unfortunately I recognized the voice.

"Get out" I whispered my voice harsh and angry.

"No" he said sitting up rubbing his head. "I'm not letting you run away."

"Get out" I whispered again. Tears were welling up in my eyes. I felt the dried streaks on my face.

"No" he answered simply.

"Jacob get the hell out of my car!" I screamed anger boiling in my veins, tears spilling. Someone honked behind me and I pulled onto the shoulder. I tried to control my anger and my tears. I couldn't control my sobs. I turned off the car and my knees to my chest, my ankles pressing against the bottom of the wheel.

"Please get out. Please." I begged him. My shoulders racked. "Please."

"No. You aren't making the same mistake I did. I won't let you run away from the people who care about you."

"Please" I begged him looking into the rear-view mirror. He saw through my sunglasses with his excellent vision to see my puffy red rimmed eyes. His face was contorted in indecision. He glanced into the forest and I saw the four figures emerging.

"Please, Jacob, for my sanity." I begged turning around and taking my glasses off. He crumbled. He muttered something under his breath, I caught Embry's name. He slid out of my car, shut the door and walked away. Toward the four figures. I didn't hesitated to turn the car on and drive away. One of the four figures broke into a run after my car. Jacob tried to stop him but the figure pushed him away and kept running. I kept driving trying not to focus on the dark shadow in my rear-view mirror.

He finally caught up with me at a stop light. He slid into the car and put his seatbelt on. I knew that if I said anything my voice would crack. Neither of us said anything for the longest time. We were still in Seattle. I pulled into a parking lot and shut off the engine. I knew Embry wouldn't give up. I wrapped my arms around my waist and pressed my forehead against the steering wheel. I felt sick. I wanted to vomit. I felt mental exhausted, I just wanted things to be normal. I raised my head and hit it against the wheel. The pain cleared my head.

"Jade" Embry whispered. I didn't say anything.

"Why are you running?" he asked. I didn't say anything instead I raised my head again letting the pain help.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked, I could hear the frustration in his voice. I wasn't about to supply answers to his questions.

"Please say something" he begged.

"Something" I remarked sarcastically, my voice barely audible. He sighed and slid next to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned into him. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and sniffed loudly.

"Tell me why you're running." he whispered in my ear. The feeling of his breath on my neck gave me goose bumps.

"I'm afraid" I whispered. His arm tightened around me, almost protectively.

"There is nothing to be afraid of." he said his voice sweet, tender.

"Yes there is" I mumbled feeling foolish.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked. Losing you, I thought. I wouldn't say it out loud, so I said nothing.

"Won't you tell me?" he asked brushing my short bangs out of my eyes. His fingers brushed my skin sending electricity through my veins.

"Why are you here?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Because I am going wherever you're going." he said simply, as if the answer had been obvious.

"Did Jacob tell you to follow me?" I asked. He stiffened.

"No" he said his voice was angry.

"I'm sorry" I apologized.

"I'm not angry with you. Jacob shouldn't have left." he said.

"I asked him to" I confessed.

"I guessed you might have. How did you get stubborn Jacob to cave?" he said almost laughing. I looked up at him. He brushed a tear off my face.

"I see." I said his eyes sad. "Do you want to tell me why you're so upset?" I shook my head.

"Didn't think so" he sighed. I sniffed again. He pulled me across his lap and sat me on the seat on his other side. He started the car, back up and slid his free arm around my waist. I whipped away my tears, knowing they would come back much sooner than I would like.

"Who said I wanted to go back?" I asked.

"No one. But, you're going back. It's for the best." he said his eyes on the road. I hung my head like a child awaiting punishment.

"I couldn't imagine losing you." he said his hold around my waist strengthening for a moment. "That's why you're coming back. Because I'm a selfish monster."

"You're not a monster" I mumbled.

"Sure"

"You aren't, so stop thinking you are." I snapped my anger easily reaching the surface. I pushed it back down. He sighed. We stopped at a red light and I looked at him. He was looking at me indecision contorting his face. He was struggling with some internal conflict. His eyes searched mine.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. The light turned green and he returned his gaze to the road. He shrugged. I let it drop, to emotionally exhausted to care.

I rested my head on his shoulder again. I breathed in his scent quietly, knowing this could be the last time. He might not want to be near me after he knows. It looks like my choice had been made for me. At least I had tried.

"Will you tell me something?" he asked.

"Depends on what you want to know." I said not opening my eyes or moving my head from his shoulder.

"What were you thinking about in the forest?" he asked.

"You were watching me?"

"Uh… yeah." he admitted sounding a little ashamed.

" I was thinking about…. stuff." I mumbled.

"What stuff?" he asked. I didn't say anything.

"You were thinking about what you're afraid of weren't you?"

"Yes" I sighed.

"That's unbelievably frustrating." he shook his head. We were reaching the city's outer limit, headed for home. Embry drove faster than I did. The trees started appearing more as the miles flew by. I didn't know what to say.

We reached the 'Welcome to La Push' sign and Embry pulled onto the shoulder. He turned the car off and turned to look at me. I had scooted over to the passenger seat when we had gotten out of Seattle.

"Jade, I'm begging you. Please tell me what's going on. You've been distant and distracted since your birthday. You need to tell me what's wrong. I need to know." his eyes were pleading. His voice was soft and filled with sorrow. He looked like he was in pain. I looked away.

"It's nothing" I lied.

"I don't believe that. This isn't like you Jade." I felt his eyes on me but I wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Why do you care so much?" I snapped. I glared holes into windshield. I felt the white hot anger on the back of my neck.

"Because I - because…" he stammered.

"Because?" I prompted the anger sizzling down. I looked at him. He was looking at the steering wheel his face contorted like it had been at the stop light. He looked up his face set in determination.

"Because I'm in love with you." his eyes were scorching, blazing. Sincerity rang in every word.