You May See a Stranger
Will sing in your dreams...
"You bitch!" Mitchell almost spat the words at me, his eyes dark with fury. "Why did you do it?"
I had no idea what he was talking about. It didn't matter as he was crushing my throat so I couldn't speak even if I did know. I was stronger than Mitchell but he had me pinned against the wall, held with my feet off the floor so I was trapped. I used all my strength to pull my arms free and I grabbed the arm he had over my throat, digging my long nails into him, tearing at his arm until his grip loosened and he let me fall. I landed on my hands and knees, I'd lost my shoes but I got quickly to my feet waiting to see what he did next. He came after me again but this time I was ready and this time it was me that pushed him into the wall and held him still.
"Stop it" I didn't shout but my voice was clear. "I have no idea what you mean so you're going to have to talk to me. If you don't calm down then I will really hurt you"
The fight went out of him and his body slumped. I'd left my bag behind in the doorway so I searched through Mitchell's jacket pockets finding a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He didn't seem to care what I was doing so I lit cigarettes for both of us and he took one, tipping his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. In the brief flame of the lighter I had seen how drained and exhausted he looked. His eyes were red and he was wearing the same creased shirt from last night, now missing most of its buttons after our tussle and he still had dried blood on his neck and chest.
I waited in silence until he finished smoking and he looked at me, his face hard.
"Why did you have to kill them?"
I was none the wiser.
"You said you'd deal with Seth, I trusted you and you killed them."
It was starting to get a little clearer. I realised that I had completely forgotten to speak to Seth about plaguing Mitchell's pals; I'd been distracted by Herrick and with my new necklace. Although hadn't Herrick said something about that? I searched my memory and heard Herrick's voice in my head.
"I have already dealt with that situation."
Damn. This was not sounding good.
"Tell me what happened" I asked Mitchell. "From the beginning. Assume I know nothing."
He sat down on the path, leaning on the wall and I settled next to him. My dress was already torn; it didn't matter if it got a bit grubbier. I knew that Herrick would be wondering where I was but it suited me to keep him waiting. If he thought I was still angry about him reading my police file then that was fine. What mattered now was finding out what was wrong with Mitchell, however long it took to get it out of him.
It didn't take long at all. He'd gone back to his house when we left the hotel and found it quiet, far too quiet, and as soon as he walked in he could smell blood. We don't mistake that smell.
"They were in their rooms" he told me, his voice expressionless. "All of them dead, their throats had been ripped open. It could only have been a vampire. I thought it was you."
"Well thanks." Maybe it wasn't the right time to be sarcastic but I did need to point something out. "How could it have been me? We left at the same time, there was no way I could have done that and been gone before you arrived. It's not possible, not even for me. Anyway – I have no idea where you live."
He shrugged, he looked utterly desperate, he clearly thought it was his fault and I suppose in a way it was. Without Mitchell it may never have happened. I couldn't mourn for humans I never knew but I could see how much it was hurting him. I doubt it was helping that he knew he had also killed that night; it didn't make him any different.
"Why don't you come inside, get warm and cleaned up a bit. Have a drink."
"No!" His refusal was absolute. "I will never set foot in that place again. It's Herrick's and this whole thing has Herrick written all over it." I didn't reply, I thought he was probably right and even more pieces started to drop into place when he told me what was being said.
"I left straight away, there was no point in hanging round and getting involved but I know what the official line is." He spat out the words. "Carbon monoxide poisoning, a faulty boiler. Or so the police say..." His voice trailed off and I realised that was probably what Herrick had been dealing with all day. That was why he had been in uniform.
Mitchell turned to face me and caught hold of my shoulders.
"I've decided, this time I'm really leaving. I've said it before and Herrick always brings me back but I can't keep doing this. I want a different life and he can't stand it." His fingers tightened on my shoulders and he stared me in the eyes. "Come with me. I don't want to do this on my own."
I was shocked – it was the last thing I thought he'd say and I had no idea how to answer him. I needed to think, could this be an option? Was this another way that I hadn't thought of yet?
"But it means no blood, no hunting." It was all that came to mind straight away and Mitchell laughed although there was little humour in the sound.
"Christ, is that all you're worried about? You can hunt, I don't care anymore – just keep it away from me." He sighed and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted and I put my arm round him and he rested his head on my shoulder. We sat like this for a long time, I was thinking about what Mitchell had said. If I left with him would it work? Could we get far enough away from Herrick? The idea of the two of us of leaving him together would send him into a rage I didn't even want to think about. He would tear the world apart to find us, not caring what devastation he left in his wake.
Anyway, I knew Mitchell would always want me to stop killing and that he would never be able to stop. There was nowhere to go with that. Blood was what made us and I couldn't imagine being without it while he could imagine nothing else We might be OK for a while but we couldn't be together for long, we'd soon hate each other. I still thought that Herrick was the best answer for me – and I squashed that damned little voice before it could pipe up again with its opinions about my feelings for Herrick!
"Herrick told me he loves me." I'm not sure why I said it out loud and Mitchell lifted his head in surprise.
"Really? That's a new one. Does he mean it?"
"Yes, I think he does. Whatever he thinks it means."
"Good. He won't come looking for me if he has you to control. I just hope you know what you're doing."
"I can look after myself. I've always had to."
"I know! I've got the bloody bruises to prove it!" He laughed and looked down at his torn shirt and I laughed with him. "Look, I'm sorry I blamed you and I wish you'd come with me but I know you won't. Herrick has a way of getting into your head and he'd stop you. Anyway, I don't believe you want to leave him. I think you want him more than you know; the two of you are so similar, you belong together. It's too late for me, I have to get away, I don't know if he'll let me but I have to try."
Herrick was already in my head, all of Mitchell's warnings had come too late but I was confident I could still manage him; after all I knew what I wanted. He got up and put out his hands to help me to my feet. I looked up at him, he was so determined to leave and I would miss him but somehow... I knew he'd be back. Whatever it was that kept pulling him to Herrick's side it hadn't ended yet. I reached up to kiss his cheek, to wish him luck but he moved and our mouths met. I should have pulled away but I didn't. I could smell the blood on his skin from last night, I could taste it and it made me want more.
His arms went round me, his hands exploring my bare back and sliding down inside my dress as I pulled his shirt open, the last of the buttons falling to the floor. He turned round, still holding me and pushed me back into the wall but not in anger this time and I could feel his hard body pressed against mine.
He wanted me because I was Herrick's and right now I wanted him because he wasn't Herrick. It wasn't the best of plans but neither of us cared.
He was trying to edge my tight skirt up my thighs and I heard the seams tear as I undid his belt. I had my fingers on the button of his jeans when I felt a searing pain in my neck. I froze, for a moment I thought Mitchell had bitten me but he hadn't and the pain grew more intense. I put my hands flat on his chest and held him away from me, closing my eyes and trying to work out what was happening. The pain came again and again in waves and I realised it came from the puncture wounds in my throat, hidden away under Herrick's choker.
Herrick. He wasn't going to let this happen.
"What is it?" Mitchell looked concerned but I couldn't speak, I just shook my head, stepping further away from him and feeling the agony slowly fade. I straightened my torn dress as best I could and took a deep breath.
"Herrick knows." It was all I had to say, he knew exactly what I meant, even if I couldn't tell him what had happened. "You should go now if you really mean it, before he comes looking for you."
He looked at me for a long moment but he knew that he could do nothing. I was Herrick's now, I probably had been all along but I was finally starting to admit it. He pulled his jacket closed, pushed his hands deep into the pockets and he turned and walked away.
I picked up my shoes and walked back across the road, collecting my bag and wrap from the doorway as I went inside the funeral parlour. I didn't look back and I doubt that he did either.
Seth was in the front office as always, he hated missing anything. I hoped he wouldn't say anything to me; I wasn't in the mood for his helpful observations tonight. Unfortunately he didn't realise this. He looked at my torn dress and laddered stockings, my shoes in my hand and he grinned.
"Don't need to ask what you've been up to!"
I was in front of him in an instant, my hand on his neck, lifting him out of his chair and holding him high above me with no effort at all. He'd stopped grinning.
"Was it you? Did you kill them?"
He mumbled something and I held him a little longer just to make a point before dropping him in a heap on the floor. He groaned before he answered me, maybe I had been a little rough. Whatever.
"It wasn't me. Herrick just told me to scare them, to keep tabs on Mitchell for him."
"Did Herrick do it?" Seth flinched, which I took for a yes but he wouldn't answer me, I think Herrick's hold on him was stronger than any persuasion I could muster. So now I knew.
I expected to find Herrick waiting for me in our rooms but there was no sign of him and I'm not sure if I was relieved or sorry. I left my torn dress on the floor and took a long hot shower but the rooms were still empty when I finally emerged. What to do? I wasn't going to go looking for Herrick but neither did I want him to think I was waiting for him. The balance of power was slipping in his direction and I had to stand my ground. I decided to carry on as if nothing had happened, and as it was very late I climbed into bed. Of course I couldn't sleep; too much was running through my mind. Mitchell leaving and the death of his friends, what we had almost done together and how Herrick would react. Mitchell didn't draw me as Herrick did, I hadn't felt even a fraction of the pleasure and passion I had with Herrick. It had been a reaction to my anger at Herrick for digging into my past and Mitchell – although he would not be flattered – had been nothing more than a convenient outlet.
I started to feel sleepy but I kept hearing Herrick telling me he loved me, that he wanted me forever. It felt so wrong and despite all my new found confidence and strength I had no idea how to deal with this. You could love him back, came that dratted little voice in my mind but as usual I ignored it! Despite everything I slept but I dreamed of the cells and the chains and of Herrick's laughter.
I woke suddenly, there was a lamp lit in the corner of the room and I could see Herrick sat in the chair, still as stone and watching me. It reminded me of the first night I ever slept here, the first night I was a vampire. I was so sure then that I could manage Herrick. How little I had known. I was no longer quite so sure.
He was back in that damned uniform, he must have gone out again while I was with Mitchell; maybe he saw us. There was no point in pretending to be asleep so I sat up, wrapping the covers round me, waiting for him to speak but he stayed still, his face unchanging. When he finally spoke his voice was quiet.
"Why Mitchell?"
"I don't know. Because he was there? Because the three of us are connected? I really don't know." It was the truth; it seemed pointless to make excuses.
"Imagine how I feel, I tell you I love you and the first thing you do is scuttle off and throw yourself at him in a dark alley." Herrick's voice was light, almost as if he was making fun of the situation but underneath it he sounded uncertain. Maybe I did have the power to hurt him.
"Imagine how I feel" I retorted. "You pry into my life, rummage through my secrets and then you tell me you love me, you know I'm..." I wasn't sure what to say but Herrick finished the sentence for me.
"Damaged. Yes, I see that now. I understand – probably better than you could imagine. You and I... we're not so different if you would only let yourself see it."
He stood up and I shivered, when he was sat in the shadows I could see his eyes and hear his voice and forget the uniform. Now I could see him as a policeman and despite telling myself that he wouldn't hurt me I was scared and far from convinced that he would treat me well. I was sure that wearing his uniform now was quite deliberate, he was punishing me, and he knew how I would react.
"What did he want? Apart from you" he asked as he stood beside me. I didn't want to look at him, but he caught hold of my face with a gloved hand and made me face him.
"He thought I killed his friends."
Herrick laughed.
"How could you? You were with him." He slid his hand round to the back of my head, knotting his fingers into my hair, using it to pull me up until our faces were close. "I killed them. It was my gift to you."
I remembered how sure Mitchell was that Herrick was insane and right now I could see it. That darkness I could sense in him was his madness and it made him unpredictable but I still could not see that dark core without a strange feeling of familiarity. I think that I had that darkness in me as well and maybe it was the horrors of our human lives that had left this legacy in our immortal selves.
I needed to overcome my fear of his uniform, the instinctive horror that left me at Herrick's mercy or this was going to end very badly. I knew I could do it and I focussed on the strength I had as a vampire instead of the fear left over from my human days. I had no need of my human traits any more – it was time I left them behind. Herrick was so much stronger than me and he could change in an instant but I had some measure of his moods and there was one way I knew that I could always distract him.
Herrick was still holding me by my hair and his other hand had caught one of my wrists and was holding it so tight I thought the bones might break. I freed my other hand from the bedclothes and reached out to him, putting my hand on his neck and pulling myself closer to him. He stayed still, not reacting and I kissed him and caressed him, keeping the image of the Herrick who loved me in my mind for him to see. His fingers tightened in my hair for a moment and then he relaxed and he kissed me back for a moment before he let go of my hair and my wrist, putting his arms around me and holding me more gently.
"I hate this uniform" I kept my eyes closed so I couldn't see it but I knew he was smiling.
"I know you do. I won't wear it near you again unless I have to." I didn't want to hear this as a threat; it could almost be an apology so I thought I'd push my luck.
"I don't even want it in these rooms."
"Very well, if that is what will please you." Herrick settled me back against the pillows and left. He wasn't away long, not really long enough for me to think about what I should tell him about Mitchell. He was too unpredictable and the idea that he had killed those people for me was... interesting. I would have to trust my instincts to guide me, he thought we were the same and I was beginning to believe him. I curled up under the covers to wait for Herrick but was completely surprised when he got into bed, I hadn't heard or sensed him coming back – I thought I'd always know when he was near. That was worrying, especially as he always knew where I was.
I knew we had not finished talking about Mitchell so I sat up – I needed to keep Herrick at arm's length while we talked, I had questions and I needed to find the right way to ask them. I got in first.
"Mitchell's gone."
"Again?" Herrick was smiling. Mitchell, despite everything, always amused him. "Oh he'll be back. I give it six months at the most and he'll be skulking around outside telling anyone who will listen about his new found humanity while he wipes the blood off his fingers." He put out his hand and traced the marks on my neck with his fingers. "I understand why you are drawn to him, I am too – and you are right. We are all connected somehow."
"But the pain..." I was trying to find the right words but Herrick looked puzzled and I had to explain the agony I had felt when I was with Mitchell. He raised his eyebrows, he had no idea what had happened.
"I saw you with him and I was angry but I had no idea that that could happen. It means you are truly mine now. Our blood is the same."
"Why did you kill them?" I was hesitant about asking this but I wanted to know. It was so calculated to hurt Mitchell and to drive him away that I couldn't see what Herrick would gain.
"Because I could" and he laughed and I saw the darkness in him, the madness. "Mitchell has to learn that he can't be human, he can't live with them, it will always end badly and if I hadn't done it he would have killed them eventually. I just saved him the bother." He reached out to me and took my hands. "I did it for you. Mitchell would never have left you alone – he would have come between us and I will not let him have you. You are mine and you will love me as I do you in time. We will rule this world together when the time is right. I will not allow anyone – especially Mitchell to interfere with that." He eyes were fixed on mine, so intensely I felt he was reading my every thought. There was a determination for power in Herrick, a desire that was so strong it seemed to be unachievable, impossible to satisfy but it called to me and I could see us as unstoppable together.
"Does Mitchell know about your plans?"
"Of course he does!" Herrick laughed again. "He drew up a lot of them. He's been in and out for years. No consistency. At the moment I am the devil but he'll be back and next time he'll be the most zealous of them all. He has the darkest heart I've ever seen, despite his bizarre desire to stay clean." He smiled at me. "Although, my dear, I think you will surpass him one day. You have more strength than him and none of his weaknesses."
"He told me..." I paused, how to ask this? "He told me that in all the years you've been together you've never punished him, whatever he has done."
"Is that what he thinks?" Herrick looked surprised for a moment and then a small satisfied smile appeared. "Do you think Mitchell is happy? Does he have the life he wants?"
"No" I had to admit. "I don't think he'll ever be happy."
"Then he's been punished. Did you think the cells and the chains were the only way? Oh my dear, do give me credit for a little more subtlety than that." I shivered. Just how much had Herrick done to Mitchell that he was unaware of? What could he do to my life if he chose? Maybe the cells were the better way, at least they were honest.
Herrick still had hold of my hands and he gently pulled me closer to him.
"If Mitchell has gone then I can concentrate on you – and on us. You know that I love you and this is the beginning of something unheard of in any world. We will be together forever and we can achieve anything we dream of."
I'm not sure there was any answer to that but he kissed me, saving me from having to think of something. His mouth moved down my neck to the marks he had made, teasing them with his tongue. He looked up at me – his eyes flashed black and I realised that he dreamed of my blood as I dreamed of his. I could see in his mind that he had no idea that I had taken the advantage, I knew I could have his blood when he was asleep. He didn't know what I had done and never would - as long as I was careful in what I took, just enough to make me stronger but not enough for his body to feel the loss.
I felt him bite into my neck, deeper than before and the pleasure and pain mixed as I felt the blood flow between us. One hand was at the back of my neck, holding me still but I still had hold of his other hand – the wrist that bore my marks. I lifted it and bit down hard in turn, tasting his ice cold blood.
We stayed joined, sharing our blood, feeling the deepest connection as it flowed from one to the other and back, a circle of power. I saw no visions this time and I don't think Herrick did – our eyes stayed open, black as night and fixed on each other. It was as if we were one – just as he had said.
Was this what counted for love in this dark world? I don't know; I only know I had never felt as close to anyone before. I couldn't use the word, I don't know if I ever would but Herrick was in my soul and he knew it.
I don't know how long we stayed joined, sharing our blood, but when we finally parted it felt like I'd been torn in two. I think Herrick felt the same and he pulled me close to him, as close as we could be. I buried my face in his neck, enjoying the closeness of our bodies and the feel of his hands stroking my arms and my back and I smiled. Whatever you wanted to call this feeling it felt right. All the warnings, the madness, the cruelty and the pain – none of it mattered anymore. This was where I belonged.
Herrick's touch was unusually soft and in turn I was gentle with him and we came together in a manner very different to our usual intensity. We both had dark fantasies and twisted desires and we were well matched, driving each other on to ever darker places seeking the ultimate ecstasy. But on this night we were considerate and careful with each other, peaceful and loving.
I sometimes think that out of all the many dark and dangerous places we explored together, that single tender act of love was the most perverse thing we ever did.
