Chapter Two: Hospitals Must Really Hate You

"Fora do caminho!" Jose shouted as he drove like a manic down the speedway, not realizing why everyone was coming towards him. "Fora do caminho!" The parrot repeated honking the horn and driving towards the hospital. Donald was too speechless to react he just watched as his foreign friend drove on the wrong side of the road, watching as the inevitable thing happened... car wrecks that made Final Destination 2 look like a fender bender. "What the hell are you doing!" Donald finally managed to scream. "Driving!" Jose said in response, "Why you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road for eh, you could get somebody killed!" The parrot said, trying to keep his eye on the road. Terry began to stir, and heard the commotion of screaming, crashing, and crying from outside, "Turn off the TV please." He said, not fully awake yet. "Terry," Donald said, "don't worry we're taking you to the hospital." He looked out the window, "And possibly fifty other people." Another crash, "Sixty." Another. Donald sighed, "Okay a lot of other people too." Terry looked up at him and smiled, "You're kinda pretty." He said with a laugh as he puckered up his lips. Donald slapped his face, "Wake up Terry!" He shouted. Terry just laughed hysterically and put his head back down where it was. "Hurry up Jose," the duck said looking back up at his friend, "we're losing him."

"Not on my watch." Jose said seeing a quick option. "Um, Jose," Donald said, checking his and Terry's seatbelt to make sure they were fastened, having a feeling on where this would be going. "What are you doing?" The duck asked, noticing that they were headed straight towards the concrete wall, which separated the freeway from the hospital parking lot. Jose, seeing no oncoming traffic, floored the gas pedal as he speed towards the wall, coming from the passing lane. "Manter o seu chapéu!" The parrot shouted and going at least over 100 mph, the car went through the wall. Donald and Jose were screaming like little girls, "Que tenho eu feito? Por favor, salve-nos, Senhor estou muito bonitas e jovens para morrer!" Jose shouted, pulling out his Saint Christopher medal and kissing it. Donald was screaming and looking at Terry to make sure that he was screaming too, nope, he was still sleeping, or at least he appeared to be.

The car sped down the hill, through trees, and bushes, still having enough momentum and speed to go through the parking lot, passing up old ladies, people crying, a mariachi band, half of Panchito's family, a funeral, a black guy in a white suit, and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit sure enough. As the car crashed into the wall, Oswald walked over, curious to see if anyone was hurt. "Is everyone okay?" He asked nervously and sheepishly. Jose and Donald were shell shocked, Terry, who was still loopy from a loss of blood stood up and walked out of the car. "That was awesome!"Terry shouted, pumping his fist in the air as if he were at a Journey reunion concert. Oswald looked at Terry with confusion, seeing the massive amount of blood on his face, the man was obviously senile. "Sir are you okay?" Oswald asked, knowing the answer, no. "Yeah," Terry said with a smile, giving Oswald a hug that made the rabbit feel a bit awkward. If a random stranger who was bleeding and appeared high on acid and started to hug you, telling you how awesome he felt, you'd feel awkward too. "I feel great." Terry released the rabbit and walked inside the hospital.

Jose and Donald stumbled out of the car, dizzy, and vomiting. "What the hell where you thinking Jose?" Donald asked, keeling over the remains of the car which was halfway in the wall. "I was thinking of Senor Terry." Jose said, as he regained control of his stomach. Oswald walked over to his friends, "So, that's the weirdo nut jobs name?" He asked. Jose looked at him, "Senor Oswald!" He said excitedly, giving the rabbit a not so awkward hug, the rabbit accepted it, taking this more willingly. "What are you doing here?" Jose asked, releasing his friend, "Just seeing an old friend is all." Oswald said, "Who?" Donald asked. The rabbit sighed, "Just an old friend." The parrot nodded, "It's okay, you don't want to talk about it, come on Donald, let's go and see if Terry's still alive." Donald laughed. The rabbit shuffled his feet, something he picked up from the rooster. "Mind if I join you?" Oswald asked, a bit shyly not wanting to but in. "But of course!" Jose said with the same ecstatic energy as before. "Great," Oswald said with a smile, "I have a few words to say to our mutual friend about personal space." Jose, Donald, and Oswald laughed as they walked in the hospital together.

"Hey," Oswald said as they made it past the check in desk, "where's Panchito, doesn't he run with you guys?" Jose nodded, about to pull out a cigar but remembering that he was in a hospital, put it back , "Usually he does, but I don't know where he is." He turned to Donald, "Have any ideas Donal', you're always thinking things through." Donald shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I'm not his keeper." The duck said, "But still, I hope he's okay." The duck said as they entered Terry's room, the most unlucky number in the world and all of history, 666.

The rooster followed James's scary but hot linebacker girlfriend. As he entered the house, he noticed that everything was sane. Nothing out of the ordinary here. That is when he saw her bedroom. "¡Santo Dios!" the rooster thought, trying his best not to speak, "this is the most insane crazy thing I've ever seen." He walked into the room, seeing pictures of various porn stars, both male and female, adorning this woman's room. Panchito finally noticed that she was no longer wearing the shirt and shorts that she was wearing earlier. She now sat on the bed, downed an S&M outfit. Complete with whip, chains, and spiky boots. The whole nine yards. The only person in the room other than her was Panchito. They were alone.

"I'm assuming this isn't a salsa party." Panchito said nervously as he backed away slowly. "Sort of," the girlfriend, whose name was Sasha said, "in a figurative way, if that's what you mean." She said, licking her finger and making a provocative pose. "No." Panchito said, eyes getting big and relatively heavy, "It's not what I meant at all." He said, voice getting squeaky and high. This was fine though. The only thing that Panchito was afraid of doing was clucking. The reason was simple. Roosters and chickens cluck when they're afraid, scared, or intimidated. In Panchito's case, he saw himself as a certain image, a person who wasn't intimidated but not intimidating, a person who wasn't afraid of anything not because he was prideful or arrogant but because he saw no reason to fear anything because there is truly nothing really ever to fear, a person who's job wasn't to scare people or to make people scared. He tried to be a positive influence, especially when he worked at Disney. All of this was due to design, and by choice, the rooster was in good moral standing so to speak.

"Let's get physical." Sasha said, removing her whip from its holster and pulling it out. Panchito smiled nervously, and laughed very cartoony and stereotypical of himself. "Let's not be too hasty now," Panchito said trying to open the door, but was having trouble finding the doorknob. "can we talk about this like civilized adults?" He said with a large and pleading smile. Sasha shook her head as she got off the bed and walked slowly towards the rooster with whip in hand. Panchito had the urge to pull out his guns, but he figured that would only provoke her more so he resisted. As the woman moved closer, the rooster began to sweat, and his farm days as a child were slowly starting to surface. He took a long and deep sigh. "Fuck it." He said and clucked.

Clucking, essentially, is like screaming but with the stereotypical chicken and rooster sounds that you'd expect. Except with Panchito is was different. Clucking to him was more of an exaggerated hiccup. So when Sasha cracked the whip towards the rooster, he ducked, and screamed as any sane person would when a crazy former lion tamer was coming at you wanting to destroy your face and body, she became somewhat confused. "I thought you know what this was?" She exclaimed, feeling a bit sorry for making the rooster jump in fear. Panchito was breathing heavily, and standing on in front of the headboard of her bed, "Look it's been really fun, really, but I gotta fly so, adios senora." He said with a salute, as he jumped out of the open window, making a three point landing and running full speed, flipped over the bushes commando style. At the moment Panchito had one goal, get out of that neighborhood as quickly as possible and headed toward the hospital.

Terry was asleep in the hospital bed. He was getting stitches, and several x-rays to make sure nothing was broken during the car accident. He looked around and saw Jose watching a Brazilian soap opera on the small television situated precariously in the corner of the room. Donald came in the room quietly with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a cup of coffee, Jose style as Terry requested. As the duck placed the food on the bedside table Terry woke up. He smelled the coffee. Terry smiled, "I think I might be addicted to this stuff." He looked at Jose, "How do you say thank you in Portuguese." Jose turned to him, "Obrigado." He said. Terry nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to butcher that." Jose laughed, with a nod, "You're welcome," he said, "I'm just glad to see you're feeling better." Terry nodded, "Me too, you know, you guys are the only sane ones in my life right now." He closed his eyes and took a sigh, "How in the world do you stand him?" Terry asked, talking about Panchito.

Donald and Jose looked at each other, hesitant to answer, they loved their amigo as much as any other group of friends would, but for them it was a bit different. You see Donald and Jose met Panchito under different circumstances. The movie was just "The Disney" version. Here's what really happened.

It was 1943, and Donald was just coming home from the war. He was in the Navy and did his job as a sailor, so after about two and a half years of service, he was given an honorable discharge, something that he took with no regrets because he desperately wanted to get out of that situation as soon as possible. War can do things to you. Jose meanwhile was in the Rio de Janerio Airport, saying goodbye to his massive family, all 1,358,256 of them. Birds are all related. Panchito meanwhile was just getting back in the States from Spain and the matador business. Donald pulled in New York Harbor, and Jose pulled into the airport that would be known as JFK at about the same time a week later. Donald took a taxi. Jose took a taxi. Donald's taxi driver's name was Paco, Jose's taxi driver's name was Paco. They were in the same taxi. Paco also happens to Panchito's nickname. Go figure.

"So," Panchito said looking his seat at the two birds, "where you fellas headed." Jose lit a cigar. Panchito reached over and knocked on Jose's head, "Hey buddy, no smoking." Jose shrugged his shoulders and put out the cigar and turned to Donald. "So, how was the war my friend?" He said, trying be as upbeat as possible about a topic that was about as depressing as The Great Depression. "Well," Donald said, "we won." Jose nodded. Donald slumped back in his chair, knowing full well that the war wasn't over yet. Panchito nodded, "So, you're a war hero eh?" He said looking in his rear view mirror at the duck. "Yeah," Donald said, "just take us to Times Square please." Panchito nodded, "You bet." He said with a tip of his hat and drove to their destination.

When they reached Times Squares, Jose and Donald got out and Jose was about to pay the rooster when he stopped him and put his hand up in protest. "No need amigo, I give free rides." Jose put the money back, "Thanks." He said. Panchito nodded and turned to Donald, he reached in his pocket and flipped a paso which Donald caught. "What's this for?" Donald asked. Panchito smiled, "Gracias por servir a señor." He looked out onto the street for an opening. He pulled in the street and drove away. The stoplight turned red, giving the rooster just enough time to put his head out the window and wave to Jose and Donald, "Bienvenidos a la Ciudad de Nueva York!" He shouted. Jose and Donald waved back and watched the rooster drive down the street.

The nurse came in with Terry's antibiotics. "Will he be okay?" Donald asked looking a bit worriedly. The nurse smiled, "Your friend is going to be just fine." Donald nodded with an unsatisfied sigh. Terry was asleep when the drugs were given and the nurse quietly left the room. When the nurse left, Jose and Donald heard a yelling, drunk old man, who was a frequent resident of the hospital by the name of Felix.

Felix was born at the end of World War II, and grew up during the 1960's. He was a Civil Rights Baby Boomer, who hated just about everybody that wasn't his mother. He was an old coot who always had vodka in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. At the moment he was yelling for the nurse to come back in. "Nurse! Nurse!" He shouted, pressing the red button over and over. The nurse who just left reentered the room and turned to him, "Mr. Felix what is it?" She asked. "I need to take a piss." He said. The nurse rolled her eyes, "Then go to the bathroom!" She said, turning around to leave again, "And be a bit more courteous next time there's someone trying to sleep." Felix waved her away and as he watched her walk away she smiled, "Nice ass." He said.

The old man swung his feet around to the edge of the bed, letting them hang there for a moment as he sat up. He rubbed his eyes, stood up and shuffled slowly to the bathroom, unaware that Donald and Jose were there. He turned, seeing that the television was on, and saw Donald and Jose watching the end of the soap opera. He just stared at them awkwardly for a moment, "Holy shit," he said confused. "Donald Duck and Jose." At the sound of this both birds turned around and saw a robed man looking at them as if he were seeing ghosts. Both birds awkwardly waved at the same time. Felix looked at each of them, and when his mind grasped the idea that Donald and Jose were there he dropped his shoulders and stared a bit longer. "You alright senor?" Jose asked. "Yeah, you're not looking so good." Donald said. Felix nodded and slowly made his way to the bathroom.

When he closed the door, Felix looked in the mirror, turned on the faucet, and splashed water on his face. "It's alright Felix," he said, "it's all in your head." He took a deep breath, turned off the faucet and exited the bathroom, completely forgetting that he had to go in the first place. To make sure that he wasn't seeing things he turned back towards Terry and saw the two birds still sitting there. Felix sighed and let his shoulders drop again, "Fuck I'm dead aren't I?" He asked. Jose who turned back around towards the TV turned around and said, "No senor, you're very much-" he opened his eyes and saw that Felix was on the floor. The parrot rushed over and checked the old man's pulse, "He's still breathing!" He exclaimed. "Uh," Felix said opening his eyes a little, "I had the strangest dream that a parrot and a duck were." He looked at Jose who was sitting on his torso, smiling, and tipped his hat, "Olá." Jose said. Felix screamed and slapped Jose in the face, who slapped him back. "Ow, what was that for?" Felix asked. "Well you slapped me." Jose answered. "I think I need a glass of water." Felix said looking over to the bathroom. Donald nodded and walked over to the bathroom, grabbing a paper cup, and handing it to the old man. "Um," Felix said after he drank the water, "any particular reason why you're on top of me?" He said, looking at Jose who was sitting on top of him comfortably. Jose looked down and noticed, "Oh, sorry senor," he said, "you just looked so comfortable." He said with a slight smile, "Uh, that came out wrong did it not?" Jose said. Felix nodded as Donald helped him up to his bed. "So," Felix said, "what's his story," he said mentioning Terry. Jose smiled, "It's a long story." Felix got into his bed, "I got time." He said. Jose nodded as he sat down in a nearby chair, and waited for Donald to sit down before he began to tell the story...

Panchito walked calmly into the hospital wing holding a box of chocolates in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in another. Once he figured out Terry's room number he saw a man, about Terry's age, sitting outside the room, crying a bit, and was laughing. In his hands, he held a stuffed animal with Panchito's likeness. So naturally, Panchito nervously walked over to him. "You okay?" He asked. "No I'm not." The man said strangling the rooster doll, which made Panchito cringe just a bit. "Why is that?" Panchito asked with a bit of a squeak in his voice. The man looked at him, "Because, my best friend is in that room, and his life has been fucked up by some has been Mexican chicken." The man stood up, and Panchito backed up just a bit, seeing that his sheer height, six two, African American male, former football player, NFL, 1989-95, New York Patriots, you know before they became a douchebag team. His name, John, John Silverman. He looked down at Panchito and smiled, "You wouldn't happen to be that chicken now would you?" Panchito cleared his throat, "Rooster actually," he said correcting John. "Chicken, rooster, same damn thing," John said picking Panchito up by the neck. "Oh," John looked down, "are those chocolates and flowers?" He asked seeing the gifts in Panchito's hand. Panchito nodded, "Sorry present." he said, finding it difficult to breathe as John began to squeeze his neck. John nodded as he opened the door, "Let's go say hello to our mutual friend." He said with a smile, Panchito smiled and nodded as they entered the room, with John still holding the rooster by the neck.

Just as Jose and Donald were getting to the part about James being a douche, John busted the door down. He threw Panchito down hard, his football days hadn't left him. Well, he is a cop now, thanks to a little movie called Pulp Fiction. Panchito coughed and wheezed as he looked at John with disdain, "What the hell man!" He screamed. "Hey!" It was Felix, "fuck off, I'm trying to listen to a story here!" Panchito stood up and looked at the old man, "Lo siento señor." He said standing up and straightening up his shirt. He turned to John, "Now look here buddy, I don't really like-"

"What the fuck did you just say?" Felix said, looking at the rooster confused as ever.

Panchito turned to him and said, "It's Spanish."

"Speak English for Christ's sake, it's fucking annoying when Spanish people speak Spanish, I can't understand a word they say."

"Well," Panchito said, "why don't I say it in a different way." He pulled out his guns, spun them around habitually and backed up to the wall. He ran towards the bed, jumped in the air, performed a small front flip, and landed on Felix's torso, pointing the guns at his head. Felix laughed, "Fuck you." He said. Panchito smiled, "I'm not going to kill you, since you're over the age of seventy-five."

"I'm seventy-four." Felix said cutting the rooster off.

"Don't tempt me," Panchito said, "I'm just going to let you off on a warning okay, but just so you know, I don't appreciate the word 'fuck' in conversation. It's one of my pet peeves, don't say it. I know that it's probably engraved in your brain after years of putting up with a horrible love life, a horrible job, and a horrible government scam called Social Security that put you in this place, and possibly a prison record that is about as long your arm in there somewhere too. But don't fucking say the f word. I don't like it." With that done, the rooster got off the old man and looked at Jose, "Make sure to tell him about this part later, he'll probably forget it." Jose nodded, "Should I tell about the S&M woman?" Panchito shook his head, and shivered at the thought, "Leave that part out."

Terry was awake on the other side of the room. As Panchito walked over he saw John present him with the chocolates and flowers that Panchito was going to give him. "Here," John said, "I brought you these." Panchito smiled slyly, "So that's how you're going to play this game eh?" The rooster walked over to the other empty chair and sat down. "So, how are you doing buddy?" Panchito asked Terry. Terry turned over and glared at him, "I need to get a restraining order from you." Panchito sighed, "Por que?" He asked. Terry shook his head, "That's it, right there!" He said, sitting up in the bed. "That's what?" Panchito asked, trying to figure out what was the matter with him. In his mind he was there for Terry every step of the way, and in truth was a good friend to him, despite the fact that he was solely responsible for Terry's girlfriend being deported, Terry's house being destroyed almost twice, and Terry getting senselessly beaten up by a douche and sent to the ER for God knows what. Panchito slumped back in his chair, "I understand Terry, sorry, I just tried to help." He said, shuffling his feet. "Just leave Panchito, you're not worth my time, or anybody else's." Terry said, turning back to John and completely ignoring the rooster.

Panchito slowly got up and left one of his guns on the bedside table. Terry turned to him, "For luck." The rooster said, "You're going to need it, adios amigo." He said with an informal salute. He turned and just as he was about to leave, Terry sighed, "Hey Pistoles," he said, Panchito walked back to the bedside, "thanks for saving my ass back there." Panchito smiled, "Always got your back senor." He said, picking up the pistol and putting it back in his holster. Looking at the TV, Panchito noticed that Pulp Fiction was on. John's favorite movie. "Oh, I love this part," John said, watching the TV, "Isn't this where the mistakes were?" Panchito asked, mentioning the man who shot too early in the famous 'Do They Speak English in What?' scene. John turned to him and glared, with eyes of fire and fists of rage, "There are no mistakes! This movie is perfect!" Panchito laughed, "Yeah, tell that to Forrest Gump."

"Do you want to die tonight chicken?" John said, standing up and cracking his knuckles.

"Leave him alone John," Terry said with a yawn, "he's just plum loco."

"Gracias senor," Panchito said with a tip of his sombrero, "but now is not the time for jokes," he said pulling out his pistols. John pulled out his gun as well, he was a cop after all. "Okay," Panchito said, seeing John's police badge, "you win." He said spinning his pistols back in their holsters again. John nodded, "That's what I thought," he said. "Well," Panchito said sitting back down in his chair, "Forrest Gump was a better movie, hell, The Fucking Lion King was a better movie, I should know, I wrote it." Terry looked at him, "You wrote The Lion King?" Panchito smiled and nodded, "I basically plagiarized Hamlet." Terry laughed, "Wasn't that whole movie inspired by Hamlet?" Panchito sighed, "It was Hamlet dummy!" He said hitting Terry on the head playfully with a laugh and closed his eyes, and for a moment lost his thought process for a second...que vision music...

The nurse came back in, "Excuse me, but visiting hours are over, you have to leave." She said. "Well," John said, looking at Terry, "I'll be here tomorrow to pick you up okay?" Terry nodded. "I'll make sure to clean up house alright?" Panchito said, as he left. Terry laughed, "I'll believe that when I see it." Panchito laughed, "You don't trust me do you?" Terry shook his head. "No." He said with a laugh as he watched the rooster, who he really considered his friend, granted, the friend that he wanted to strangle, but a friend nonetheless walk out of the room.

As they left, Oswald sat on the bench outside, he didn't go in the room the whole time, he just went and said goodbye to his friend for the last time. Ever. Which explains why he was crying. Panchito, Donald, and Jose walked out at the same time, followed by John. "Senor Oswal', what's the matter eh?"Panchito said, sitting down next to him. "My friend just passed away Panchito." Oswald said, "He was all I had left." Panchito nodded, "¿Quién era?" The rooster asked. Oswald sighed, "Goofy." Donald heard this and immediately started crying. "What room?" The duck asked. "612" Oswald said.

Without question, Donald ran towards the room, with Jose and Panchito quickly following him. As Donald entered the room, he saw Tina in the room, looking like something out of Silent Hill. In her hand was a bloody knife. Donald looked over at the bed and saw Goofy's dead body covered by a white sheet. In the corner of the room, a small turntable was there, it was playing "I Don't Want To Set the World on Fire" by the Ink Spots. Tina charged and stabbed Donald in the torso. The duck fell, with no expression. Tina laughed. Panchito pulled out his pistol and shot her, "You bitch!" He yelled as he ran to tackle her, "I hope that you burn in-" Tina laughed and Panchito looked at his torso, a knife that was thrown was in his chest. "Oh shit," Panchito said as he fell to his knees, as he watched Tina go towards Jose and heard him screaming for mercy. Panchito fell to the floor...

Waking up in the room from his Final Destination moment, Panchito looked around and saw Terry in the bed and John across from him. He checked his body for any stab wounds and found none. The nurse came back in, "Excuse me, but visiting hours are over, you have to leave." She said. "Well," John said, looking at Terry, "I'll be here tomorrow to pick you up okay?" Terry nodded. Panchito got up and quickly ran out of the room, he looked left and saw Oswald sitting there on the bench crying. Panchito sighed and looked at me, "Shit, this is kinda like Final Destination isn't it?"

Yes, it is.

"I hate you." Panchito said.

I know. Now, get in there!

Without further questioning, Panchito ran down the hallway towards room 612. Pistol drawn, ready to fire, he busted the door down.

Entering, the room was dark and quiet, Panchito closed the door behind him and tired on the lights. "Ah, geez, a little warning next time please!" Goofy said, as he stood up he saw Panchito and smiled, "Oh hey buddy what's up?" He said with a smile. "What are you doing in the hospital?" Panchito asked, walking over to the side of the bed. Goofy knocked on his head, "Said I needed to recover a bit, I should be out in a day or so." Panchito smiled and nodded, "Good to see you're well mi amigo." He hugged him. "Gosh," Goofy said, "what's up?" He said, noticing that Panchito was crying a bit, "Thank God you're safe." Panchito said between the tears, "I had a vision of you, you were dead." Panchito let go. "Dead?" Goofy said, confused, "But how?" Panchito shrugged his shoulders, "No se, but it doesn't matter now, everything is going to be okay."

"Well, you take care now Panchito, I like you." Goofy said, worried for his friend. Panchito nodded, "I like you too Goofy," he said, "adios." Goofy laid back down in his chair as Panchito turned off the light and exited the room. "He's a nice guy." He said as he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

Panchito walked back down the hallway feeling a bit better, knowing that Goofy wasn't dead. As he turned back towards Terry's room he saw the nurse entering the room again, Panchito didn't think anything of it, until he saw Oswald, still crying. He walked over to his friend and sat down next to him, "What's the matter now?" Panchito said. "It's nothing, I just have this strange feeling that something bad is going to happen to Goofy." Panchito sighed, "He's fine, I just checked on him, everything is a-" Screaming. "okay." Panchito finished his sentence and was up again running towards Goofy's room, noticing that Donald and Jose were close behind.

"NOOO!" Goofy yelled trying his best to kick Tina away from him. Tina climbed through the window, and was wearing a prison uniform. She escaped Black Dolphin Prison one night during a snow storm, ever since then she's been bent on ruining Terry's life. She had no idea what the hell she was doing in Goofy's room, she just wanted to kill somebody, and Goofy was target number 1. "I'm going to kill you!" Tina said, hair mangled, crazy eyes, crazy laugh, she was a total mental case. "W-w-what do you want with me?" Goofy said, eyes scared and helpless. "What do I want with you?" Tina said loud, proud, and bitchy like, "I want the world to know that the Master Race has returned!" She said lifting the knife in the air. Goofy rolled her eyes, "Oh, so you're one of those people?" Tina nodded, "Yeah, I'm one of those people." She said as she moved to stab Goofy, when on cue, Panchito busted the door down, and without thinking about it, shot the knife out of Tina's hand.

Tina looked over at the rooster with the devil's eyes, and looked like she just came out of The Haunting of Connecticut. "You little bastard, I just can't get rid of you can't I?" Tina said. "Ditto." Panchito said, spinning his guns around. "Now, are you going to come quietly, or do you have to die tonight?" Panchito said, glaringly. "You won't kill me." Tina said, "I'm an important character!" Panchito laughed, "So am I but I'm just about the most unlucky person in this room right now." He looked over at Goofy, "Even Goofy is more stable than me."

"It's true." Goofy said, "He can't fly more than three feet off the ground."

Panchito looked at him, "Gee, thanks for pointing out my many faults."

"You also talk way too much, and sleep with your guns, and have anger management issues." Goofy said.

"I do not!" Panchito yelled, "I passed anger management class! Donal' was a witness." Donald came into the room. "I was a witness to what?" He asked. "Donal' didn't I pass Anger Management Class?" Panchito said. "Yeah you did." Donald answered. "After the fortieth time." Panchito looked at him, "I did not take that class 40 times." Jose nodded, "Yes you did."

"Oh really, Mr. Smooth Guy," Panchito said, looking at Jose, "Didn't you go to Cigar Anonymous meetings?" Panchito asked. Jose nodded, not proud of it, he still smoked.

For a while, Goofy, Panchito, Donald, and Jose were ranting and bashing out on each other about how each of their many faults. Jose's secret obsession with Ghost Peppers, Donald's relationship with Daisy and how it's going completely nowhere, and Goofy with his faults listing as long as the Great Wall of China. Eventually the conversation turned into how much they all hate their jobs and why they should all go into business together and open up a small law firm. The dreams they all have. The nightmares. They really discovered in a span of eleven minutes how alike they all were, and how much they really needed each other and how much they hated each other. Love-hate relationship, that sort of thing. In any case, all of them completely forgot that Tina was even there. Eventually Tina gave up, shrugged her shoulders, flipped them all off, left the room, and went back to the house. As she passed Terry's room she saw John, waved, who waved back, and continued on her way.