{Chapter 5}
Trust me
You guys are so blind!
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You mean her emotional thing about Rox-?
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"What do you mean?"
Axel sighed. "You don't know?"
I frowned. "I don't know what?"
"Like I said. Don't you know why he's that close to you? Don't you know why he cares so much about you? Do you really think he keeps you alive for Sora?"
I looked up. "I do"
He raised a brow. "Then explain me why he wants to keep you alive for Sora"
I looked down again. "Well… because Sora isn't going to like this pretty much… you know, me being a prisoner and being… hit everywhere… maybe Roxas thought he could composite me being alive against that all…"
Axel's laugh made me look up. "What?"
"Roxas thought he could composite the fact you're hurt against the fact you're still alive?"
I sighed. "What's so funny about that?"
Axel shook his head. "Because it's far, far from the truth, missy"
I pulled the blanket to my chin. "What's the truth than?"
"That he likes you in the very 'love' way"
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I could just stare at him. My eyes wide and my jaw dropped.
After a few minutes, I shut my mouth. I shook my head slightly.
"No way"
Axel raised his brows and he grinned. "You… really never saw it?"
I looked at the floor. "He can't"
"Because he isn't supposed to feel?" Axel's voice sounded defensive.
My eyes shot up. "No! No!" I shook my head. "No!"
"What do you mean then?"
I sighed. "I meant… that he deserves better… I'm not worth of it…" Axel wanted to interrupt me, but I shook my head again. "I know… I know… but you know… if Sora left me… why did Sora leave me?"
"Because he had to fight Heartless" Duh. Like I didn't know that.
"But why didn't he take me along?"
Axel frowned. "Because he didn't want you to get hurt"
"And what if I could fight and wasn't being captured, hurt, and whatever more? I could be fighting with him, right?"
"Um, yeah, right" Axel said, wary. He didn't know where I was leading our conversation.
"But I'm not with him, because I can't stand for myself!" I nearly yelled at him. "So, tell me, why does Roxas wants to get stuck with the damn weak little girl? He DOESN'T! I tell you, he DOESN'T! Why not? Well, I'll tell you why not! He deserves better than me! I'm worthless! Anybody can tell!" I yelled so hard that Axel tried to melt away against the bars. "Take it easy! Re-relax! Oh, hey Roxas!"
Roxas stood in the corner of the room, frowning.
I turned at him, biting back my blush. However, my cheeks were still fired up.
"Where were you talking about?" Roxas asked curious.
"Um, from where did you hear it?" Axel replied nervously.
"From he doesn't" Roxas said, now narrowing his eyes.
"Nothing special, I swear" Axel said with a faked grin.
Roxas raised a brow, now looking at me. "But if it makes Kairi yell, you sure you call it nothing special?"
"What makes you say that?" Axel said with a casual tone. How did he do that? I blushed so hard that it was useless to hide it, making me more frustrated than ever.
Fuck Sora. Sorry for the language, but I could strangle him.
"Because Kairi doesn't yell"
"She maybe isn't what you see from her?" Axel answered back, with a grin.
I expected Roxas to be mad, but he laughed. "Apparently"
He turned to me. "What was wrong?"
I hated that distance between us now. I was very aware of Axel's eyes looking at me intensely. I knew what he wanted to find, and would find. I didn't answer.
"You're not worthless by the way" said Roxas with a half smile.
Axel grinned and I shot him a death glare. Then I casted my eyes down. "I am. I really am. There's nothing I can do about everyone who wants to hurt me or kidnap me-"
Roxas' face became pale, but I did like I hadn't seen it. "That's why it's impossible for me to be worth of… of… "
Axel's grin became wider and wider, and Roxas' eyes became more curious every second I didn't move on.
I nearly choked on it. What was wrong with me? I realized I was afraid of his rejection. Too afraid. I bit my lip and shook my head. "Of anybody"
Axel looked disappointed and Roxas smiled a bit. "You don't see yourself clearly, do you?"
I stared at him in disbelief. "Hello! I looked at myself in the mirror for nineteen years, so I do"
Roxas laughed. "Joy. No, I didn't meant that… I meant that you don't see how… how special you are"
Axel grinned again. But I looked down. "Maybe… but why… why did Sora leave me twice… if I'm special? Twice, Roxas. Twice. I think he did because he realized he… deserved better"
Oh dear. Now it looked way too much like the conversation I had with Axel. Roxas' eyes narrowed and Axel tried to sneak away. Roxas looked down.
"Axel" the tone was cold.
Roxas looked up. He wasn't mad with me.
"Did you bring the subject up?" I had seriously no clue where he was talking about, but Axel nodded slightly. "Well, yeah… but not really… it's about…. but don't you think-"
"No" Roxas seemed certain. "No. I don't think that"
Axel smiled. "Fine then… I think you should change her mind then" His smile seemed evil to me.
Roxas' face paled again. "N-No w-way! I-I c-can't do t-that!"
Axel disappeared and Roxas stood still… puzzled there.
I couldn't stand that stupid distance and I walked hesitating toward him. I knew he felt me coming. His body froze up, but he waited.
I stepped closer and swallowed. Come on Kairi, why are you scared?
What if he rejects me? I can't handle to lose him! Sora is one thing, but this is different…
I stepped another step closer and waited too.
Roxas relaxed and turned, his eyes soft. On the same time, we stretched out for each other. His hands curled around my waist and my arms wrapped around his neck. I rested my head against his shoulder. "Kairi, where were you talking about Sora deserving someone better than you?" Roxas asked casual, but I caught a weird tone in it… disbelief?
"Why did he left the second time? And why was he talking… so possessive about me?"
Roxas flinched a bit, but I held onto him tighter. "Well… um… he still thinks you… belong to him…"
"I wouldn't find it a problem… but after five years waiting… and when he disappears the second time again… no. Sora is over"
"Just because he left you waiting?" Roxas was curious, but he sounded relieved too.
"No, because I got over him…"
"I see…" Roxas' fingers trailed over my back, sending shivers through my spine.
"Roxas? Can I ask you… something too?"
"Yeah, sure" his breath dazzled me. It was like the cool breeze on a hot summer day…
Addicting…
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"Why do you do this? I mean, why do you protect me?"
He chuckled softly in my hair. "No, really, be honest with me, is this still about you being 'worthless'?"
I blushed and he could feel it in his neck. "Right, so this is still about you being 'worthless'…"
No. It was his chuckle in my hair, but please let him take that on me being worthless.
"Kairi…" he hesitated and he pressed me unconscious closer.
"Kairi, I…" he seemed to struggle with himself for a second. "I care about you"
My heart beat so hard against my chest, that I had a feeling Roxas could hear it too.
And before I could hold it back, it slid between my lips. "I care about you too"
Roxas chuckled again. "I know"
"How?" I was stupid enough to ask it.
"You wouldn't let Larxene and Xigbar kill me, says enough"
I chuckled too. "Well, who would want you to get killed by them?"
Roxas pressed his lips on my hair, sending a lot of shivers through my spine. It never did when Sora would do that, I was sure. But still it was weird… it was relaxing and tensing, hot and cold at the same time…
"Most of them wouldn't care… They would worry about Larxene and Xigbar"
I shook my head. "Bastards" I mumbled. I felt him smile. "Well, maybe not about Larxene… really nobody likes her. Demyx likes Xigbar, but right"
We were silent. "You're not going after them, right?" I asked him, a bit unsure.
His fingers still trailed on my back and he sounded absently, like I interrupted him in deep thoughts. "What?"
"You're not going after them, right?"
"I did already" he said, surprised.
"What?" I tried to pull away to look at him, but he kept me against his chest, chuckling.
"Relax… I'm still alive" Roxas said.
I frowned. "You're not doing that ever again!"
"Because I'll never let anybody near you"
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Roxas Point Of View
Kairi was asleep. She was sitting between my legs, her head rested against my chest. My hands rested on her waist and I could sit here all night, watching her. That was exactly what I was planning to do, naturally.
Our conversation was so weird from a few hours ago. It still bugged me… why did Kairi yell at Axel?
I didn't believe it was about Sora. Kairi seemed so cold when she talked with me about Sora… And when she had yelled at Axel, she sounded… full of passion.
That two things didn't fit together. I frowned. She was sure more complex than any Somebody ever.
When I had told her I cared for her, it felt such a relief to have it off my chest, however it wasn't how I really felt about her at all. Yeah, I cared for her, but Sora did care about her too. I didn't even like Kairi at all. Sora liked Kairi. I loved Kairi… and that was what made the difference between his connection to Kairi and mine.
I sighed. Kairi had told me she cared about me too. But did she had the same…'behind reasons' as me?
I doubted it. Kairi couldn't feel more for a Nobody. Couldn't be. And I sighed again. But what if she did? What was going to happen then?
Then I made my decision… I was going to find out two things: a) I was going to find out if Kairi loved me too. b) I was going to find out where the conversation between Axel and Kairi was about.
Because Axel couldn't give me the crap it was about Sora. I knew it wasn't about him.
And that was what worried me. Why had Kairi given up on Sora?
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"Riku!" the brown-haired boy ran his hand through his spikes.
"I know, I know, but I swear-" The silver-haired boy stood before him, looking down, hands in his pocket.
"Oh, come on! Kairi just went together with that thing?" Disbelief raised in his voice, while the frown of his friend became deeper.
"Sora! I told you!"
"Tell me again!" Sora snapped at Riku.
*Flashback*
I walked in Kairi's house. It couldn't be easier. She would hug me, yell that she would do anything to see Sora again. And then, I was free again. Sora wouldn't rest until Kairi was with him.
But I heard voices in Kairi's living room. I frowned, but walked in, seeing Roxas make a dark corridor and Kairi was walking toward him!
"Kairi!" My voice sounded too angry, but I was shocked. Why would she ever go somewhere with the Nobody of Sora! She turned, surprise and fear in her eyes when she saw me, but Roxas stood before her, his eyes flaming with an intense anger, growling between his teeth. "Stay away from her!"
I still stood in the doorway. Well, hate to break it to you, Roxas, but I'm angry too! I stretched my hand out to her, trying to get her react, trying to get her here. "Kairi… if you come with me, we'll go to Sora" There we go. Now she would hug me, yell and stuff. Freedom was calling me.
But Kairi staggered, and became closer to the corridor. "N-no"
What? "Kairi… you don't want to go to Sora?"
Roxas was so angry that his fingers started to tremble. His eyes burned with the same hatred and for a second, I was wondering why Kairi would go away with such a… darksider as him.
"He didn't want to see me for five years, so why would I come so easily to him?" she said with a cold voice. Oh, would she play it this way? I knew Kairi didn't like me, and I had no idea what was bothering this girl, but I knew one thing: she was coming with me, and right now!
And while I came closer, that bastard from a Roxas walked further back and Kairi and he disappeared in the corridor. The last thing I saw was Kairi's face. She looked calm now she was away from me. What was going on?
*End flashback*
"Bullshit!" Sora blurted out angry.
"I told you it was not!"
"Why would she go with-"
He suddendly stopped talking and his grimace appeared. "Oh no"
Riku frowned. "What's up?"
"What's up? What's UP? I lost Kairi to that son of a bitch of a Nobody and it will be damn hard to get her back! That's what's up!"
"Now, now Sora, relax! You've battled members of the organization before!"
"But Kairi was never in love with one of them before!"
Riku shook his head. "I think she likes him, but not love. Kairi loves you"
Sora sighed. "You're right. Well, be better go to the Castle That Never Was"
Riku nodded and followed his friend to the light corridor *A/N yeah, I know… my other version of the dark corridor*
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