I was going to punch someone. Specifically, I was going to punch a middle-aged lady who had just finished telling me she "knew exactly how I felt, as her father had recently passed away." She had then proceeded to make cooing noises at Harry and touched his scar before I was able to react. I forced a smile and quickly excused myself, walking briskly outside and breathing a sigh of relief to find there wasn't anyone else nearby. I moved behind a tree before anyone could spot me and deposited Harry in the shade. He was getting so heavy. Sirius and Remus had both tried to take turns looking after him but he was getting upset when he was taken away from me. I didn't really blame him – as far as Harry could understand his dad had disappeared one night and had never come back; it was no wonder he wanted to stick close to me. It didn't help that strange people kept peering at him and touching his forehead. I closed my eyes, leant my forehead against the tree and took some deep breaths. Who even was that lady? What a thoughtless thing to say!

I didn't know if I could face going back in there. The wake had been passing by in a bit of a blur. Most people seemed to be enjoying themselves. There was lots of reminiscing, lots of laughter and toasts, which would have been how James would have wanted it. I just wanted to go home and curl up by myself but I was expected to speak to everyone - accept their condolences, talk about James, talk about how much Harry looked like James… it was too much for me just now. Although I had to admit it had been nice to hear all the old stories again. I thought I had heard of or been witness to just about all of the marauders' exploits but to my surprise I had heard a few new stories. Of course so many of the stories included Pettigrew, which only reminded everyone how unthinkable it was that he had betrayed his closest friends. There was an undercurrent of anger and disbelief that tainted the atmosphere.

Harry was tugging on my robes.

"Where dada?" That was the fourth time he had asked me. I suppressed a frustrated groan and scooped him up again.

"Dada is gone, remember Harry? We're having a big party to say goodbye to dada." I couldn't stay out here forever. I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath before re-entering the marquee. It had been erected in Bathilda Bagshot's sizable garden and charmed to be bigger on the inside to accommodate all the mourners. Hovering in mid-air inside were silver platters of food and refreshments so everyone could help themselves. Along the edges of the marquee were beautiful arrangements of white lilies and red roses. Remus really had outdone himself.

I was pleased to see the crowd had thinned out a lot, as it was late in the afternoon now and people were heading home. I glanced around the room and spied Remus leaning clumsily against the wall on the other size of the marquee. He had evidently had a number of Firewhiskeys and I could see that he had gotten into a heated discussion with Dumbledore. Mary Macdonald intercepted me and was offering to babysit Harry whenever I needed, when snatches of their angry exchange became audible over all the other conversations.

"…ASSURED ME HE WAS THE SPY!" That was Remus's voice. Dumbledore's response was inaudible. "…would have let him rot! … no issue with a death eater swapping sides…"

"Please ...not the same…" responded Dumbledore.

"Trust Snape over him… …TOLD YOU HE WOULDN'T BETRAY THEM!"

Sirius and I exchanged startled glances and hurried over to haul Remus outside.

I took one of Remus's arms and he allowed himself to be pulled away without any real protest. Before following us I heard Sirius say quietly, "This doesn't mean I don't think he has a point, sir."

We all burst out into the open air.

"You all right mate?" asked Sirius.

Remus was breathing hard. "I just got so angry! Didn't mean to make a scene… but fuck! How could he let Snape change sides no questions asked but you go straight to Azkaban without a trial!"

"Yeah I know - I'm bloody pissed off too. I'm going to have it out with him don't worry – but time and a place – you know?"

"I'm sorry…."

"Nah it's all good, was about two Firewhiskeys away from going off myself," joked Sirius. He continued, "the person we should really be angry at though is Wormtail, we can't forget that. How could he do what he did?!"

"His animagi was a rat – a freaking rat! How didn't we see it?" raged Remus.

"How long was he spying on us?!" seethed Sirius.

"I thought he was our friend!"

"I didn't even suspect him!" I cried. "I mean… the last time I saw him he seemed down... but I figured that was because we'd just heard about Marlene and Dorcas."

Remus snorted. "Down my arse. Traitorous bloody RAT!"

"I would have died before I betrayed any of you," snarled Sirius.

"As would I," agreed Remus.

"He deserves to die for what he did."

We had been walking as we talked and without really realizing it we ended up outside our old cottage. I inhaled sharply. It really did look like there had been an explosion in Harry's room. Sirius squeezed my hand gently.

"Ok Lils?"

I nodded. "I…I'll stay out here. It's ok." I replied to Sirius's searching look.

The plan had been to go by the house after the funeral to collect some belongings – clothes, books, photos, Harry's toys. From there Sirius and I would get a portkey back to his flat and Remus would apparate home.

I watched Sirius and Remus step hesitantly inside. I hoped they'd find my wand. I felt a bit twitchy standing in the open without it. It was so difficult to let down your guard after you had spent the best part of the last two years in constant hiding.

A thought occurred to me, and I walked around the back of the house to the broom shed. I'd better get James's broom – he would want Harry to have it when he was older. I tried the lock and swore softly at finding myself unable to open it. I was so useless without a wand! I wandered around the small garden absent-mindedly, trying to soothe Harry who was really starting to fuss now. He should have been put down for a nap two hours ago.

Looking around I caught a glimpse of ginger high up in the branches of a tree. Tufty! I moved closer and peered up. There she was, clinging to an out-of-reach branch. She looked scared and miserable. "Here puss puss, here Tufty." She merely looked at me. Damn, I was going to have to get one of the boys to levitate her down.

"Lils?" called Remus.

"I'm out the back!" I called in return.

They both rushed around the house together. "Everything all right?" asked Sirius.

"I've found Tufty!" I cried. "Look – just there!"

"Oh wow, good find Lils!" said Sirius. He was holding something out to me. "Here, thought you'd want this."

My wand! I eagerly reached for it and felt it grow warm in my grip. I pointed it towards Tufty and performed the reverse 'swish and flick' motion to gently float her down to the ground. I put Harry down and crouched down beside him.

"Here Tufty. You poor little cat. Come here girl." Hesitantly Tufty moved over towards us. She seemed to suddenly realize it was safe and began to rub her head against my legs while purring loudly.

"Tufy!" exclaimed Harry. He clumsily gave her a pat and was nearly knocked over when she butted her head into him.

Sirius and Remus had a trunk each – mine and James's old school trunks I realized.

"We got what we could," said Remus. "We had to leave some of the books and James's clothes…" he continued apologetically.

"It's fine," I assured him. "Thanks for doing that for me."

"Shall we be off then?" asked Sirius.

"Oh hang on – I have to get James's broom." I went back over to the shed and muttered a quick alohomora to open the lock. My breath caught and I had to fight back tears as I lifted the broom carefully off its stand. This would have to have been James's most prized possession. So many memories of him on this broom… I quickly wiped my eyes and stepped back outside.

"Ok, lets go."


Sirius, Harry, Tufty and I all arrived by portky at Sirius's flat on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. As Sirius and I were holding a trunk each, and I was carrying Harry with my free arm and Sirius held the cat with his, we'd had to coax Harry to grab hold of the dirty old gumboot we'd turned into a portkey.

Sirius gave us the 'grand tour' even though we'd been over to his flat numerous times. He opened the guest room – what would now be our room, with a flourish and then stood back waiting for my reaction.

"Oh Sirius – it looks great!" I exclaimed. "You didn't have to do all this!" It was a large room, and Sirius had set it up with a queen size bed on one side and a cot on the other. The cot had a gorgeous Quidditch mobile hanging above it, complete right down to the individual moving balls. There was a change table, as well as a small bookcase and easy chair. A fluffy toy owl was nested on top of the cot and I could see there were a few books already on the bookcase – toddler books as well as some for me.

"This is so thoughtful – you're going to make me cry again!"

Sirius smiled "It's nothing. I just wanted to help make you feel a bit at home here."

I quickly settled a very cranky Harry into his new cot and thankfully it wasn't long until he fell asleep. We transfigured a bed and food and water dishes for Tufty and got her all settled in as well. With a sigh of relief I finally collapsed onto the couch beside Sirius.

"I'm so glad this day is nearly over." I said.

"Same," agreed Sirius. "If we could get through today we can get through anything I reckon."

We sat there in comfortable silence for a short time before Sirius spoke again.

"Harry was a little trooper today hey? I swear I was going to backhand the next person who tried to touch his scar!"

I smiled. "Same. I was fantasying about punching this one lady." Sirius chuckled softly.

"Hey Si?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something you should know if I'm going to be living with you."

"Oh?"

"I um… well, probably in the next few weeks I'm going to start throwing up all the time, and getting all hormonal and crabby, and getting weird cravings…"

Sirius sat bolt upright and stared at me "What! Are you… are you… pregnant?!"

I nodded silently, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Oh Lily!" He moved closer and wrapped me up in one of his famous bear hugs, and we just sat there like that for a long time, both lost in our thoughts.