DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.
Twitter: themusiksnob / Tumblr: musiksnob
There will be two more chapters after this one. This one was really hard to write for some reason. Somehow I think you'll enjoy it anyway.
Chapter 7
If you had told me a few days ago, that I would be in a New York City hotel, kissing Eli Goldsworthy so intensely that my head was spinning, I never would have believed you.
I scarcely believed it now, and it was really happening.
His fingers tangled in my curls as his mouth opened against mine, each kiss more aggressive than the last. I had already kicked of my shoes and straddled his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist, and his hands kept pushing my skirt higher so that he could pull me in closer.
As incredible as it felt to kiss him, I couldn't help but compare it to the last time we'd made out over four years ago. I was surprised at how much it felt just like coming home, but it was different. It was sexy and intense and so…mature. We were bringing four years of heartbreak and failed relationships and loneliness and wisdom and it made everything more desperate and more passionate that I ever knew was possible.
I was trying to figure out how we could take this to the next level when Eli gently pushed back on my shoulders. "Wait…I can't do this."
I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes again. "Please…" I whispered, desperate for him to kiss me again. "I need you."
He took my cheeks in his hands, my tears forming rivers through his fingers. "I can't do this if this is just a one time thing. You mean too much to me. I can't be with you if I have to let you go."
My heart broke yet again. "I want more than one night with you, Eli. But I fly home to Vancouver tomorrow and you'll be in Toronto and I don't know how to make that work."
"But do you want it to work? Do you want to be with me?"
"More than anything."
He grinned momentarily, but I still felt uncomfortable and his smile dropped a bit. "We can work out the logistics later, but do you promise this is the start of something between us? Not the end?" he pressed.
I took his face into my hands, mirroring his hold on me. "I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me."
No response was needed. Eli hands crept from my face to my breasts as his tongue swiped mine. I whimpered at his gentle touch, wishing that we could take off all our clothes and remove the barriers between us.
I tore my lips from Eli's and his mouth immediately latched onto my neck. "We should take this to your bed," I moaned.
Eli grinned, and I squealed, as he gripped me by my thighs and stood up with me still wrapped around him. I expected him to put me down or carry me to the bed, but he took a few steps and balanced me on the edge of the dining table. "Who needs a bed? I seem to remember how much you liked my kitchen table." My eyes widened as Eli leaned down to kiss me, pushing me back against the flat surface.
I vividly remembered the night Cece and Bullfrog had left us alone and I'd told my mom I was staying with Alli. Eli had been busy studying for finals so we hadn't seen much of each other, and we made up for lost time. I had brought over the ingredients for innocent ice cream sundaes, never imagining that I would end up naked on Eli's kitchen table, while he licked syrup and whipped cream off my body before eating me out and giving me a toe-curling orgasm.
"But we don't have any chocolate syrup," I purred.
"I told you we could order room service."
His hands were gripping my thighs under my skirt, and I wanted to feel his tongue all over my body, syrup or not. "How about we save the dessert for later, and move this to your bed? I'll let you take my dress off."
Eli took a step back and held out his hand. "That's a compromise I can live with."
He led me to the bedroom and spun around so he could pull me back into his arms. He fingers gripped my back with so much force that it felt uncomfortable. I pulled on his arms until he allowed me to take his hands in mine and take a small step back. "You don't have to hold on so tightly. I promise you, Eli. I'm not going anywhere."
He gave me a soft smile and kissed my temple. "I just can't believe you're here with me." His fingers found the zipper at the side of my dress and slipped it down, slowly and carefully. He tugged at the shoulder. "How do you get this thing off?"
I giggled. "Over my head." I raised my arms and he grabbed the hem and started to raise the fabric. It got caught on my hips and then my breasts and Eli yanked impatiently. I bent over and wiggled to try to get unstuck and by the time the dress was over my head, we were both in hysterics.
Eli threw the garment on the floor and his eyes roamed my body. He snapped the elastic on the side of my purple satin panties, and I was glad I had picked out something presentable and matching this morning. "These are new." He was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world.
"You remember all of my underwear?"
"I remember everything," he said huskily.
"I remember some things too," I teased, slipping my hands underneath his t-shirt and drawing him closer. "I recall how much you liked it when I kissed you here." I stood on my tip toes to suck on his neck right at the spot that I knew drove him crazy, and he rewarded me with a low moan. I pushed his shirt up enough that he couldn't ignore it, and as he removed it, I started fumbling with his belt.
He kissed me, but I couldn't focus and pulled back. I had to look at the belt to undo it before tugging futilely on the button on his jeans. "Having trouble?" he teased.
"I'm a little out of practice," I admitted with a blush.
"I'm glad," he laughed.
I gave up on his button and slid my hand down cupping him through his jeans. "If I can't get your pants off, I'm just going to have to tease you."
"As nice as that feels, I think I'm going to have to help you out." He unbuttoned and unzipped but he let me pull his jeans down his legs. He stepped out of them and tugged off his socks using his feet, wobbling a little. "Where were we?" Eli grinned and answered his own question, "Ah, yes, I believe you were trying to touch my cock."
I raised my eyebrows at him. "Nah, I changed my mind." I jumped onto Eli's unmade bed and he followed, pushing the covers down with his feet.
"I bet I can make you change it again," he said, his eyes darkening as he hovered over me.
"Challenge accepted."
He pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and I moaned at the sensation. He pressed his body down on me and I arched into him, trying to memorize the feeling of his skin against mine. He skimmed my body with his fingertips, gently caressing my hips and stomach and neck and cleavage. His tongue slipped down my body and he slid the strap of my bra down to expose my nipple. As he nibbled and sucked, I reached back and unhooked my bra, not wanting to have anything between us.
He moved his head out of the way so I could remove it. "You really want this," he commented in awe. He moved one hand between my legs and I let out a soft moan.
"You have no idea how much," I whimpered, his hands still stroking me.
"I'm pretty sure I do," he laughed. He tugged my underwear down my legs and sat between them, gazing at me with such intensity that I was certain my whole body was blushing.
"Come back here."
He shook his head. "No."
He lay down and my breath quickened as he pulled my legs over his shoulders. He gave a tentative lick and closed his eyes. "God, you taste exactly the same." Any hesitation he had was over and he dove back in, using his tongue to drive me insane. He slipped a finger into me and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out.
The last guy to go down on me was, in fact, Eli. I hadn't let it get that far with most of the men I had dated and John had never offered. The fact that Eli and I had never slept together meant that oral sex was the thing I associated most with him, because for years that was what we had done together. The image of his face between my legs was the one I most regularly went to when I was alone and needed to get off.
It felt so good not to be alone anymore.
The tension was building and I could no longer control my cries. "Fuck, Eli," I moaned and I could feel him grinning. He picked up the pace with his tongue, thrust his fingers faster, and he pushed me over the edge. I arched all the way off the bed, screaming his name and he held on to my hip to keep me in place. He left me with a few gentle licks and then sat up, looking pleased.
I reached for him, wanting to return the favor, but he seemed distracted. He hopped off the bed, picked up the t-shirt he had been wearing and wiped his face, and then got a devious smile on his face. "Come here."
"Come back to bed," I whined.
"Trust me," he said, and I stood up, a little wobbly. He led me across the room. "Stay here."
I watched him in confusion as he walked closer to the windows, and I realized what he was going to do. "Eli, no!" I yelled as he pulled the curtain open, exposing the floor to ceiling windows. I tried to cover myself with my hands as Eli came over to me.
"What is wrong with you?" I squealed. We'd been talking for long enough that it had gotten dark outside and I knew the lights of the hotel room meant that anyone who was looking out their windows would be able to see us.
"Come on, Clare. We're here together on a beautiful night in New York City." He tugged my hands away from my body, exposing me once more.
"Yeah, and I'm the one the whole city is seeing naked."
He slipped off his boxers. "Better?"
"Marginally."
He moved behind me placed his hands on my waist, pushing me forward gently until I was directly in front of the window. I took in the view of the city, trying not to think about the number of people who could see. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I could feel him pressing against my back.
"Clare, I want the whole world to watch me make love to you." He nudged me forward until I was touching the window, my nipples pebbling against the cold glass. His lips found my neck and I had to hold onto the window to keep myself from swooning.
So that was it. We hadn't said so in so many words, but we both knew where this was headed. There was no purity ring standing in our way, no virginity that needed to be maintained. We could finally forgo the pretenses and explore each other in a way we'd wanted to for so long but never let ourselves before.
I had always thought I'd be nervous but all I felt was bliss.
I was glad Eli hadn't asked me like he had during all of our awkward high school fumblings, "Is this okay? Are you sure?" I liked his confidence. I liked how he placed his hands on me without a trace of shyness and how he kissed me like this was the only thing in the world that he wanted to be doing.
I tugged on his hand and he released my neck with a popping noise. I knew there would be marks all over me tomorrow, reminders of a night of passion that were a little embarrassing at my age. His fingers grazed the spot as he smiled in amusement. I wiped his smugness off his face with another powerful kiss, while I pushed on his shoulders to lead him back to the bed.
He let me climb on top of him for a few moments as my hand wrapped around him and my body rubbed against his. He tangled our legs together and flipped me over.
I wanted him inside me more than anything.
He seemed to have the same thought, as his eyes darkened and he brought us closer together. But all of a sudden he stopped, groaned in frustration and moved off me, laying down beside me and burying his face in the pillow.
"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed.
He looked at me embarrassed. "I don't have casual sex."
My eyes widened. "I don't think this can be described as casual."
He laughed. "No, I know that, but…"
I cut him off. "And that's a good thing, in my book. If you had been with tons of women in the past four years, I'm not sure…"
"Clare," he shook my arm so I'd stop babbling and look at him. "All I'm trying to say is that since I don't have sex with random strangers, I didn't bring any protection with me."
"Ohhh!" I felt better immediately though I really didn't want to wait until we made a trip to Duane Reed. Four years was long enough.
"Unless…" He gave me a tender look. "Are you still on the pill?"
He gently caressed my abdomen, and I could feel another tear coming to my eye. I remembered so vividly the conversation we had after he had discovered my birth control pills and thought that meant I was ready to sleep with him. I hated disappointing him and telling him I was only on them to control my painful periods, but he was so sweet about it, stroking my stomach just like he was doing now, and that was the moment I knew for sure that I was in love with him.
It warmed my heart that it meant so much to him too that he'd remembered that moment so many years later.
"I am…are you…" There was no delicate way to put this. "Okay?"
He nodded. "You too?"
I'd always used condoms with John but I had gotten tested after our breakup just to make sure. "Yeah."
He looked nervous for the first time, and I brushed the hair out of his eyes. "It's me, Eli. You don't have to be scared."
"I've just wanted this for so long. I don't want to disappoint you."
"You could never."
He still seemed reluctant as he moved back on top of me. "Clare," he whispered. "I love you."
It occurred to me that we'd only said those words in the past tense today, but I knew exactly how I felt. "I love you too."
He kissed me again and I spread my legs to accommodate him but he didn't try to enter me and I was getting tired of waiting. I took him into my hand and brought him to my entrance. "Eli," I moaned. "I want you to fuck me."
He penetrated me immediately and I whimpered at the feeling of him filling me the way I'd been dreaming of for years. "Oh, Clare," he moaned. "Fuck." I met his thrusts as he gripped my ass, grinding us closer together.
I felt like my body was on fire, and his hands only intensified everything. He leaned down to suck on my nipple and pulled out just enough that he was stroking me with just the tip of his penis. His light teasing felt delicious but it only made me want more. I pushed back on his shoulders until he was sitting up and I straddled him, wanting to be in control.
I grabbed on his shoulders so hard I knew my fingernails were digging into him, but that just seemed to spur him on. Both of his hands cupped my ass and brought me down onto him and he jerked up to meet me. Our tongues were battling, sloppy and forceful in a way that could only be good during sex. He leaned back and I fell over on top of him, stretching out over his body.
I could tell he was getting close from the noises he was making and I was pleased when he reached between my legs and started stroking me. I leaned down to kiss him, holding myself up with my forearms to give him enough room. I picked up the pace with my hips and his finger twirled over my clit and I let out a squeal that made him grin.
"Please, Clare, come for me," he whispered, cupping my breast with his free hand and tugging on my nipple. He was grunting and I was screaming and soon I was shaking over him, unable to believe just how amazing he was making me feel.
"Oh, Eli. Ohhhh!" I yelled as I came and he followed soon after with a moan.
I collapsed into his arms and he held me. I didn't want to let him pull out; I didn't want this moment to end. I nipped his jawline and covered his chest with tiny kisses, while he stroked my back and my hair.
I'm not sure how long we lay together, basking in the afterglow and each other's presence. After a while, it got uncomfortable and I moved to his side, pulling the covers back over us.
"I don't really want to get out of bed," he said finally, and I looked up at him. "And I really don't want to suggest that you put any clothes on." His hand followed the curves of my naked side and I shivered. "But I'd like to take you out to a nice dinner. There's so much I want to know about you and what you've been through these past four years, and I want to get started right now."
I grinned, glad we were on the same page. "We could always get naked again once dinner is over."
"I like how you're thinking," he teased, kissing me on the nose. "A night on the town, then a night in my bed…" He trailed off, frowning. I knew he was worried about what came after that.
So was I.
"Then whatever comes after that…as long as I'm with you," I said.
His fingers found mine under the covers, and I squeezed, not wanting to ever let him go.
