Broken
Part 7
He hadn't told Jackson what Paddy had said to him, and with Elyse airing her lungs he hadn't heard the older man's raised voice, so he had no idea that there had been an angry exchange between the two of them. He had told him Paddy was drinking again and Jackson was as troubled as he was by it and like him didn't know what to do about it.
With Elyse fed and settled they'd gone back to bed and when sleep wouldn't come had discussed the upcoming days.
"I think you should go back to work."
"Aaron..."
"We're going to need the money, I've only got a few weeks holiday to take, Cain will pay me for them but he won't pay me for not turning up no matter the reason."
"You can't look after both Elyse and Paddy..."
"I'll have help, more than I want probably."
"I don't know, I wasn't planning on going back until after Maddy's funeral."
"Whenever that is! Paddy's not going to be up to speaking to Ashley now is he, he'll still be half cut tomorrow teatime."
"But we can discuss which day to have it with Ashley if nothing else, we can't delay it Aaron."
"No, but Paddy can't plan it let alone go to it the way he is."
They'd fallen silent then, each lost in their own thoughts, he breaking the silence, speaking one of his thoughts aloud. "I loved Maddy."
"I know you did." Something else was troubling his boyfriend now. "Aaron what is it?"
"Nothing," He couldn't tell Jackson what Paddy had said to him, it hurt too much, "I'm just missing her that's all."
"She'd be so proud of you, you know, how you've been there for Paddy, taken on Elyse."
"We've done it together."
Yeah he supposed they had but Aaron was the driving force here, and he was prepared to take on even more responsibility, more pressure. He wasn't happy about it, but for once Aaron was being the practical one, he did need to go back to work, and sooner rather than later. He knew Aaron was crying now and pulled the younger man into his arms where the silent tears quickly turned to heartbreaking sobs. The grief was still so raw and would be for a while to come but at least they were working through it. Paddy wasn't, he was holding it all inside, letting drink numb the pain. But something had to give, grief like truth would out.
/
It was sometime after seven and he was patiently trying to dress Elyse. Jackson had picked out a fancy pink outfit for her to wear, and he was having to somehow get it on the squirming bundle. Elyse's arms and legs seemed to be everywhere, once he got one arm in the other would slip out, he decided it would be easier to dress an octopus! He'd already worked up a lather giving her a bath he was working up yet another sweat now. Bathing Elyse had been scary but between them they'd done it and she'd loved it, or seemed to, she hadn't cried anyway so they must have done it right. Now she smelt of baby soap and talc, he kept sniffing her, telling her she smelled as nice as she looked! He knew he was going to have to work on the compliments; well he wasn't used to giving them to girls! He knew she was listening to him, not understanding him of course but she was definitely getting used to his and Jackson's voices. Jackson had been singing to her at half past three this morning, she wouldn't settle for some reason so he'd started rocking her and singing Rockaby Baby, it had worked well... it had sent him as well as the baby to sleep.
Now he finally had her dressed he eased Elyse down into her Moses basket, standing over her until she fell asleep just a few minutes later. While she slept they were going to have some breakfast then take it in turns to shower, and while he was upstairs he was going to check on Paddy.
He'd found the older man asleep on top of his bed, he looked even worse than he did yesterday, and his room stank of alcohol and sweat. Once again he thought of Maddy of how upset she would be seeing Paddy like this, at what he was doing to himself. He'd give him a few more hours to sleep the worst of it off then try getting some fluids down him.
The locum vet Paddy had organized weeks back was knocking on the surgery door at half eight, they'd forgotten all about him, Pearl too. But Pearl had arrived minutes later and had promised to take charge of him, show him the ropes. It was one less thing for them to worry about.
Declan had visited them a little later that morning, with a gift for the baby and flowers in memory of Maddy. He'd understood their need to stay put, told them not to worry about Dale Head, that he'd have no problem letting it to someone else. He couldn't help but be disappointed though; he knew Jackson was too, they'd been so looking forward to having their own place. One day maybe?
As Declan had left, Ashley had arrived and finding Paddy still missing from the scene he'd asked if everything was alright, he obviously knew it wasn't, and not happy about keeping the truth from the vicar any longer he ended up telling him everything. Ashley had been shocked but had quickly offered his support, eager to do anything he could to help. He'd reserved the following Monday for Maddy's funeral, knowing that would give them a few days grace where Paddy was concerned. He was intent on talking to Paddy too so he'd promised to phone him when he'd sobered up.
It was getting on for lunch time and with Elyse asleep Jackson had gone to the shop to top up their supplies. He'd been making a cup of tea when he'd heard Paddy moving about upstairs. He'd hurried up there, just in time to hear the older man's bedroom door shut.
He'd found him sat on the side of his bed, a bottle of whisky in his hand. It was unopened and he was determined it was going to stay that way. Stepping over to Paddy he snatched it off him. "You don't need this Paddy." He stood watching the anger form on the older man's face, and determindly held his gaze.
"Give it to me."
"No, Maddy wouldn't..." he didn't get to finish his sentence, Paddy stopping him with his fist. The blow sending him reeling backwards, to impact painfully with the wall behind him.
TBC
