Author: vulgar shudder

Warnings: yaoi, AU, cloud being cloud, language, bastardised sepi/tifa (soz I need some bad guys), ANGST. ANGST. ANGST.

Rating: M – sexual themes (nothing explicit)

Pairings: ZackxCloud

Disclaimer: Do not own, no profit.

Part 7 – Melody of Agony

Cloud moved like a zombie, still groggy from a valium induced sleep. Vincent talked to him in that low voice from the bathroom door. He didn't know why he was talking to him still, he had zoned out. Probably because it was the day of the competition, and his teacher was trying to cram in as much wisdom in as possible.

What ever, they'd drilled and practiced as much as humanly possible. He'd made it through the closed heats without a problem, and now it was time for the real thing, the final.

Cloud had finished shaving and splashed his face with warm water and slicking his hair back to keep it out of the way. He reached for the valium, when he felt a hand grip his wrist. He looked at it, the deep ridges of scars holding his own smoother hand. How the hell had Vincent moved so fast? Or was his brain just moving slow?

He looked up at his teacher standing behind him. "Not today." Vincent told him firmly. So no tranquilizers on the day he most needed them. It was the sensible thing to do though, so that's why Vincent had been watching him since he'd woken up. He sighed and pulled himself away to gather his things.

As soon as they left the house, the anxiety had started. Competition, and Zack, all on the same day. But Zack would be faced later, he just needed to make it to that stage, play, FINISH, leave.

Teacher and pupil arrived at the back entrance, and Vincent passed the suit bag containing the rented tuxedo to him, draping it over his arm. A tense moment passed between them, they were both men of little words.

Finally, Vincent put a hand onto his shoulder, an awkward gesture for the stoic man. "Do your best, you've prepared enough." Was his attempt at encouragement.

Cloud nodded, swallowing dryly. Vincent left him to go around to the main entrance, where early arrivers had started coming in. He clutched the suit to his chest tightly, looking around him. Some other entrants passed him, chatting lightly. There was still time to run…but Zack would be here, he'd be watching. He hoped he would be anyway.

The dressing rooms was a sense of déjà vu, and to escape it he wondered back stage finding a staff entrance that opened to the auditorium, and he leaned against the wall to peer out the crack between in the velvet curtain. The hall was half the size of the last time, there being no 2nd floor. It wasn't a quite as large a competition but it was still big enough.

He scanned the audience. The seats were mostly filled now, and he scanned them one by one to find the familiar black hair he was looking for. About the 10th row, next to Vincent according to the ticket number.

He saw Vincent soon enough, looking bored through the program. His heart sank when he realized the seat was empty. Zack hadn't come, it was about to start any moment now the judges had arrived. All this work had been for nothing, Zack couldn't be bothered to come. He really didn't care at all, it was the only conclusion he could come to.

But before he could turn and walk right out building, someone came running down the aisle checking his ticket, and made a big ruckus as he started to squeeze past people to get to his seat.

Zack, it was Zack!!

Cloud might as well have won the competition right there and then his heart jumped so far. Zack had slid past Valentine, who had to stop talking to the person on his other side to let him through. He was simply over-joyed, he had his chance now, this would be his moment to prove…

Before Cloud could start feeling too optimistic, long silver hair glided past his view of Vincent and Zack.

Sepiroth was here, and any confidence Cloud had crashed. Why was he here? Did he have a student entered?

His mind was reeling from the information, when a backstage person pulled him away from the curtain and asked him to go back to the dressing room and change. When he arrived he looked around, was someone here Sepiroth's student? He'd never know unless he asked, and he wasn't about to start doing that. The questions rattled through his head as he changed as quickly as possible.

Sepiroth was here, Sepiroth would hear him…he sank down into a corner of the dressing room, covering his ears. He wasn't playing for Sepiroth anymore, he was playing for Zack.

Thoughts of Zack kept him calm, until his number was called. History seemed to repeat it's self as he waited in the wings, clapping for the contestant that finished before him. His suit was stiff and hot already, he tugged at the collar to try let some air in.

He hesitated when they passed, and an organizer pushed him, "Go." They told him, and before he knew it he was out in the bright lights with the announcer reading his name and piece title over the loud speakers. Keep his eyes firmly fixed on the floor; he made it to the grand piano in the center stage.

Cloud sat and the auditorium went quiet. "For you Zack…" he whispered, and lifted his hands to black and white keys and started to play.

Zack had been practically biting his nails in the seat. He'd had to leave work early to get here, and he thought he was going to miss the start, and miss Cloud if he was first. But he needn't have worried he hadn't missed anything.

He almost didn't believe Cloud would actually be appearing, but there was his name in the program and he was even sitting next to the man with long black hair, Valentine was it? Did he introduce himself? Hi I'm Cloud's neighbor and fuck friend. The older man was talking to someone next to him in German, and the competition started anyway.

Zack was kind of bored sitting through all the other contestants. They all sounded good to him, but he wanted Cloud, he wanted to see him.

His ears pricked when he head Cloud's name be announced, and held his breath for the seconds it took him to appear. He grinned, Cloud looked nervous as hell but he was up there in that black and white tuxedo like a professional!

Everyone waited for Cloud to start, and from the first few chords Zack recognized the tune. Beethoven's moonlight sonata. He knew Cloud liked the moody dramatic pieces, but he played this one marvelously, even to a layman like Zack.

Everyone listened to the slow rhythmic tempo, not a note out of place. It was restrained and controlled, but the underlying sadness touched Zack. He felt something warm and wet on his cheek, and he brought up his hand to his face to realize he was crying. He didn't care for now, he was utterly spell bound by Cloud rocking gently as his hands danced slowly over the keys.

Was this really the level he was capable of? Playing in front of all these people with such emotion? And to think he'd had him all to himself for six months…

Cloud had finished, and brought his hands back to his lap. Everyone started clapping and Zack joined them, grinning through his tears. Cloud slowly stood and faced the audience to bow, before leaving. He hoped Cloud had seen him, seen how proud he was.

But now he was gone Zack reached up to hastily wipe his face and hot eyes, trying to cover his crumbling happy go lucky façade. Vincent had leaned over to speak lowly to his companion under the announcement for the next contestant.

Cloud had reached the safety of the wings, and people were brushing by him preparing for the next entrant. His shirt stuck wet to his back and sides, sweat dripped sickly over his face. Someone nudged him and told him to go to the dressing room. "I don't feel well…" was all he said before his vision went pitch black and he crumbled to the floor.

~*~

Cloud woke up in the empty dressing room, the polystyrene ceiling tiles filling his vision. His head swam, and he blinked to try and block out the florescent lighting and black spots that danced in and out of his sight. His tie and shirt had been loosened, and when he looked to the side an organizer of the competitor sat there writing on a clip board.

The man noticed he was awake, and slipped the pen back into the top. "Welcome back. Congratulations, you took Second place. But it's too late to get the trophy everyone is up on stage right now."

"Second?" He asked, wondering if he was still dreaming. He rested his head back, and listened for the sounds of clapping and speeches from the stage. He didn't want a trophy anyway, fuck it. He closed his eyes again.

"Yeah second." The man carried on, standing to leave now Cloud was awake. "You musical types hey, no wonder you feinted I bet you've been practicing non stop for months."

"Something like that…" Cloud said and realizing unconsciousness was not going to take him back into her merciful grasp he sat up, rubbing his eyes. The suit had dried to merely damp now rather than ringing at least.

"You can at least take pictures with the other winners, get your tie done back up. Try and stay upright alright." The man obviously had better things to do than babysit and left him.

~*~

Zack had been surprised when Cloud had been announced as Second place. Cloud really was good, and it wasn't just his biased opinion. But when he saw no Cloud, and an announcement that he was unable to be there at that time he got worried, and a glance towards Vincent told him he looked concerned too.

Vincent got up to excuse himself, and Zack had no choice but to wait until the closing ceremony ended, and people started filing out. But he did stick close to the man Valentine had been talking to, and sure enough the other man rejoined him.

They spoke lowly in German, and Zack couldn't hold himself back any longer. "Excuse me? You're Cloud Strife's teacher aren't you?" He asked.

Vincent looked around as if there was a possibility of another person Zack had directed the question at. When it was clear that there was only one teacher of Cloud Strife in the vicinity he answered, "Yes."

"I'm his friend." Zack explained. Well it sounded less weird than Neighbor or fuck buddy. "Where is he? Why didn't he come back on stage?"

Vincent arched an eyebrow, "He fainted and was resting. He is awake now and taking promotional pictures." He was studying Zack's face, trying to work out how on earth the socially inept Cloud had made a friend. "He'll be joining us shortly."

Now he'd made himself known, the three were forced to wait together. But not for so long, when a voice that rivaled Vincent's said, "So you're still interested in my left-overs Valentine."

Everyone turned, and there was the tallest most imposing guy Zack had ever seen. He was tall, but this guy was taller. And the hair and eyes, it was like he had landed from space. He looked kind of familiar, he'd seen him somewhere around Cloud's apartment…CD cases maybe? He looked between Mr. Black-Long-Hair and Mr. Silver-Long-Hair. Music academics were eccentric al right. Well whoever he was, Zack didn't like what he said, it made the hair on the back of his neck prickle.

Vincent's expression didn't change, and he merely gazed at the other man coolly. "Just giving a chance to what you so easily abandoned."

Sepiroth gave a smug smirk. "Well you came in 2nd this time to me, a great achievement for you. Must have been many years since you've had anything to take pride in, even if it was I who done the ground work on this particular project." He placed a hand on Vincent's shoulder as he passed. "Enjoy the moment. Just don't spend too much time on that one, it will never bloom. See you at the faculty meeting."

There was an unmistakable flash of anger through Vincent's eyes as Sepiroth brushed past. But he managed to contain it well, he face was carefully neutral.

Zack however was fuming. "Who is that asshole?"

The taller man didn't miss a beat, "The great Sepiroth."

"That's the guy who was a dick to Cloud?" Zack was torn between waiting for Cloud and going to kick that guy's ass. Uh well he could try, Sepiroth had a good few inches on him.

"His methods are not for all…" Vincent explained, head lifting to look to a point behind Zack. "Cloud, congratulations."

Zack spun around, and there was Cloud admit the milling people, bags piled up in his arms. How long Cloud had been watching, he didn't know. They stared at each other for a long time, both unsure of how to react.

"You saw me right?" Cloud asked in a small voice.

Finally a smile broke Zack's face. "Yeah I saw you, you were great."

There was much more that needed to be said, but it was neither the time or the place with Vincent and the other man watching them. Zack closed the gap between them, and took the suit in it's cover from him lightening the load. "Are you ok?"

Cloud nodded silently juggled the bags and let him take a few things, and he looked up at Zack with those clear blue eyes. Don't do that Cloud, I'll just want to kiss you right here!

Showing remarkable restraint he pulled back, letting Vincent join them. "You done very well today Cloud. "

Zack took a step back, not wanting to interfere in the shop talk between teacher and pupil.

"I done ok…" Cloud said avoiding Vincent's gaze.

"No, you placed 2nd, which considering you haven't been playing professionally for two years is very good. And Prof. Cid agrees."

Cloud did look up from the floor and finally nodded a greeting to the man next to Vincent. He looked like a typical grizzled academic, complete with odd ball dickie-bow.

"Now Cloud, Prof. Cid teachers at the Leipzig Conservatory of music…and he agrees with me about your potential." Vincent looked around, not really wanting to broach this right now, but he was hoping to ride on any high Cloud might have for placing in the completion. "He's come from Germany to see you perform, and he would like you to study there. He is certain you could pass the audition with ease."

First the competition, seeing Sepiroth, being reunited with Zack, and now this? Cloud was overwhelmed. "I told you this was a one off…"

"And if it was a one off it would be a waste." Vincent was beginning to look frustrated, it was obviously a conversation they'd had already.

"It's a private school, I don't have the money to go there…" Cloud offered as an excuse.

Vincent looked a bit uneasy, "I would sponsor you, your fees and a living stipend would be taken care of." He looked around, his eyes finally resting on the blond man and he softened a bit. "I don't want to discuss this at depth now, just please consider it." Vincent flicked his reddish brown eyes between the two 'friends'. "I will take my leave now, go home and have a rest. We will discuss my offer this week .Congratulations again, despite what you think you deserve it." He turned and said something in German to Prof. Cid, and the two left.

Zack mean while was dumb struck. Cloud, studying abroad? He'd never even considered it. He realized Cloud looked shell shocked, and he took his arm pulling him in the direction of the exit. "Come on, lets get out of here." They came outside where Zack stopped, "You're coming back to your place right?" He asked tentatively, god he hoped so.

Cloud nodded, and with a sigh of relief they headed on towards the station to catch a train home.

The pianist wasn't in any state to talk on the ride home, and it was mostly silent Zack not sure what to say himself. At some point it started raining, and they got wet on their way to the apartment building. Wordlessly he helped Cloud back into his apartment, where they shook off the drops clinging to their hair and skin.

The bags were dropped unceremoniously on the floor, a small throphy clinking against the wood inside a glossy department store paper bag, completely forgotten. Cloud himself collapsed onto the sofa, looking like death warmed up.

Zack naturally went to the coffee maker filling it up with water and ground coffee. He clicked it on before he began, hand loosening his work tie as he spoke. "You know, I was really fucking worried about you. I mean you disappear for nearly two months without a word." Anger crept into his voice, he couldn't help it. He'd worried himself sick over it.

"I'm sorry." Cloud told him, a lifeless doll staring out the window. "I wanted to enter the competition." Why he wanted to, he did not elaborate.

Zack ignored the coffee, turning shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm not your keeper, just a call would be nice."

"My phone broke…" Cloud told him.

"Yeah, I saw…" Zack went to the kitchen counter picking up the new phone that had sat there all that time. "Here, I got you a new one." He tossed it at Cloud before taking the seat opposite him. Blinking back to reality Cloud picked the box off his lap. "I've set it up and put your old sim card in." Zack told him.

"Thanks…" Cloud said, staring at the present in his hands.

Zack shrugged, "I can get them for free at work." He lied. Is that the best you can talk about Zack? Fucking phones?! His anger had dissipated somewhat, and he sighed. "But I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, I didn't realize you had lost your job."

Cloud blushed somewhat, he hadn't expected Zack to know about that. But it was obvious on second thoughts. "I was…weird that night. I'm sorry."

Yeah, they'd both done weird things. Well both had apologized what else could they do. "You were really great today." He told Cloud sincerely, barely breaking the surface of the pride and respect he felt.

"You thought so?" Cloud asked, a little hopefully.

"Yeah, I never thought you'd do something like that, not after the recital. You were brave, I'd never be able to do it. You're my hero."

Neither had Cloud thought he'd do it, and the redness to his pale skin deepened.

They sat there saying nothing, both looking at anything but each other. Finally Zack broke, a tight pain in his chest at the very thought of what he asked next. "So you going to study in Germany?" He'd been thinking about it ever since Vincent had mentioned it, it weighed on his heart.

"Oh that…"

"Yeah, what an amazing opportunity right?" Zack lifted his eyes and smiled, not that he felt like it on the inside.

"Yeah but…" Cloud trailed off.

"You're really good Cloud, I mean some German dude comes all the way here to see you play, and you've got someone giving you their cheque book to go study in such a cool place, how often does that happen?" Zack couldn't believe he was saying this…

"You think I should go?" Cloud asked, looking rather small and scared on the couch, the phone still clutched in his hands.

With forced casualness Zack said, "Hell yeah, I mean you don't have a job here now, and you can go to Europe, the mother land of music to go study. You could become a famous pianist." The next words that left Zack's mouth practically ripped both their hearts out. "There's nothing here holding you back. I mean, not like we're serious or anything."

Cloud's fingers dropped the box into his lap. There was a stunned silence between the two, before Cloud finally managed out. "No I guess there isn't." Hurt beyond words could explain, Cloud stood. "I think I need to sleep, I'm really tired."

The dark haired man pretended to not notice the obvious pain on Cloud's face. "Yeah sure. Hey I'll leave you to get settled in." Zack stood to leave Cloud in peace, or rather bolt for safety before he had a chance to retract what he had just said.

Cloud was utterly devastated, and went to collapse onto his bed. Some valium would be good right now, a whole load. So his fears had been realized, Zack really was just fucking around with him. The competition had proved useless, he was still left with nothing. He listened to the rain patter against the window, it was an appropriate sound track to his life.

Meanwhile Zack had closed the door behind him to his own apartment. "Fuck." He said lowly, for fear of Cloud hearing it. That was not how he'd envisioned their reunion. What the fuck had happened to his confession? "Fuck." He said again, pushing some junk off the kitchen counter in a fit of anger, it clattered to the floor noisily. He slid down with his back to the door, hands pulling at fistfuls of his own hair.

But how was he supposed to tell Cloud now how he felt? If he did, Cloud would never go to Germany. He'd be stuck here, working in a convenience store or something. How could he live with himself if he selfishly held Cloud back from having a go at such a great career? He wasn't the only person that believed in Cloud's talent, there was Valentine and the German dude, people who knew what they were talking about telling Cloud to go.

That didn't make it any easier for Zack, and he hated himself for doing this to Cloud.

To Be Continued.

Pieces mentioned:

Moonlight sonata, 1st movement – Beethoven (This is one of my favourite pieces ever and I've been saving it. Apparently Beethoven wrote it for student he loved but she married someone else. Oh and it got so popular he hated it. It was almost cliché to use it but I couldn't resist.)

Author notes:

Once again the title taken from the crisis core sound track. Their track titles are just too good to not use. Melody of Agony is an excellent piano piece btw, youtube it. Yeah, apart from the specific piano pieces mentioned I listen to the crisis core sound track as I write.

- Vincent and Sepi? Meow, put the claws away boys. That is not the last of sepi though, there will be closure.

- Leipzig Conservatory? Made it up, picked a random place in Germany that wasn't Berlin -_-;

-Man this had a hell of a lot of characters to juggle about, it was like a stage play cueing everyone in and out to get the MAX DORAMA. I don't know if I've been successful with keeping characterizations.

- I give up, I'm changing the genre of this story to angst/romance. I promise it will be worth it in the end. And I also promise no cheap trick cutting or rape or anorexia -_-

- AND last but not least, THANKYOU TO MY REVIEWERS. Brunette S Angel and KimieVII I'm blown away that you'd want to put that much effort into your reviews. It's really rewarding getting to see how someone else reacts as they read. But everyone, thank you for taking the time to keep reading this modest little crack fic. angst fic.