September 4, 1971 later
I'm sitting in my four-poster bed, listening to my roommates breathing softly as they sleep. I can't imagine going to sleep right now.
Lily was late getting to our study session so I went searching for books on protection spells. Madame Pince, the scary librarian, seemed suspicious of my motives when I asked for help locating the materials on my chosen subject. But she led me to a very tall shelf.
"Here is the selection on protection spells." "Which shelf?" "All of them. This subject runs down this entire wall of shelves. Some books are more specific than others. Is there something in particular I can help you find?" "Well, we haven't started on protective spells yet so I should probably start with the basics and work from there. Unless you have a better strategy?"
She eyed me suspiciously over her glasses before she turned to the shelf and pulled three books. She handed them to me carefully, with reverence.
"These should do to start. Read them in the order I've given them to you for the best effect. When you've finished I'll help you find the next set." "Thank you." "You're welcome."
She seemed to doubt herself as she said it but I smiled so big that she did too. I was excited to begin. I don't think many of the students here are as intense about books as this librarian. She will be a good ally to have though and I have no intention of ever getting on her bad side.
I took the books back to my desk where I'd been writing earlier. I wanted to dive into the new subject but I didn't want to fall behind in my homework. I compromised by deciding I would read one chapter and then start on my homework. Unless Lily turned up before I'd finished.
She didn't. Like I said, she was late and I had a hard time stopping after just one chapter. It was fascinating. There was a lot that went into the most basic of protection spells. Madame Pince had chosen a set of books that detailed the emotion needed in casting a strong protective spell, the proper wand movements, and the different spells for different occasions.
It was a great place to start. By the end of these books I will know what frame of mind to be in, and which kind of protection spell I need for whatever occasion. I just hope I can conquer more than theory.
When Lily finally showed up and plopped down at my table I had begun to write my essay for Professor McGonagle.
"I'm so sorry I'm late. I got caught by that poltergeist and then I got lost." "It's fine. I've started the Transfiguration essay. When we're finished, why don't we exchange and read them over?" "That sounds great! I'm not as familiar with the books as you, do you know what page it lists the basics on?" "The list is on pages 2-6 but it is expanded on in chapter two." "Thanks."
We sat in silence for a while, the only sound our quills scratching across parchment and the murmurs of other students. But the library wasn't really crowded this early in the term and the silence began to frustrate Lily.
She seemed to want to talk but one look at Madame Pince had her nose back in her book.
Of course, I finished much faster than she did. Six inches was nothing when you'd read and memorized as much of the curriculum as I had.
Transfiguration was fascinating and it felt somehow familiar. I was excited to learn things like the self-transformations McGonagle had mentioned during her first lecture.
But for now I moved on to disarming charms.
The assigned text for Defense Against the Dark Arts was a basic spell book like our other first year classes required. We wouldn't get into the heavy stuff for at least two more years.
This subject was just as fascinating to me as Transfiguration had been but far less natural. Don't get me wrong, I pay attention when I read and I practice my butt off. I definitely won't be behind when we start using the spells. But, it was unfamiliar territory.
I don't lash out when I'm hurt or frightened. I back up and plan a defense first.
Being on your own, you learn to watch your back first. You learn when to run.
The Hat placed me in Gryffindor, the house of the brave. But I know that I will run before I fight if that is what will save my life.
I think some of the Gryffindors in my year will be naturals at this magic. Some of them are so impulsive. Like Sirius and James. They are just as likely to throw a punch as they are to aim a wand and they do either before they think of something more intelligent to do.
Others are going to be good with protecting people. I think Lily has that natural instinct to protect people. I just get this feeling around her. The way she reacts when the boys pull a prank screams mother.
I just want to make sure I am never again a victim.
In the meantime, I read the chapters on disarming charms and practiced the pronunciation and wand movements. I took notes and waited for Lily to finish her Transfiguration essay.
Eventually she did and we switched essays as I had suggested.
I made some suggestions to lengthen her essay to make it fit the required six inches but other than that, she had done very well. She was very thorough. She would be a good study partner if she could be on time to our study sessions.
We made to switch back and Lily hesitated before handing mine over. She had been trying to spit something out since she first sat down and I only hoped she would finally get it over with. She was making me nervous with all of her fidgeting.
"Hunter, can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Do you like it here?" "Where?" "At Hogwarts."
I looked up from the essay in my hands to meet her startling green eyes. They were completely serious and there was a hint of what appeared to be worry in their emerald depths. I had to think about my answer.
"It is unlike anything I have ever known before. I struggle with unfamiliar situations. I prefer to know what I'm dealing with. That being said, I find this place and everything about it completely fascinating. I never even guessed at my being something different than others I knew. I had no clue there was a whole other world hiding parallel to the one I grew up in."
"But do you like it here?" "Yes. I think so. Of course, I'm still sort of waiting to wake up." "Me too!"
Her eyes lit up as she agreed with me, like she had been searching for someone who shared her disbelief.
"You're muggle-born, right? You didn't know about any of this either?" "I'm muggle born, yes. But I have a friend who lives in my village. He saw the signs and told me about this world. It's still a lot to take in though." "So he told you what it would be like here?" "Yes. We met several years ago. He caught me doing magic and told me what I was."
She got this sappy look on her face when she spoke of her friend. Whether this was due to hidden feelings she harbored for said friend or simple joy in the familiar memory is unclear.
"I was turning seed pods into flowers and making the blooms open and close when he walked up. He called me a witch, straight out to my face. I was about to start crying when he took the flower from my hands and turned it into a wasp. We've been friends ever since and he let me ask endless questions about Hogwarts and what it meant to be a witch."
"That must be nice, to have someone look out for you like that." "It is. He's always been here for me. He never looks down on me for not knowing something. He encouraged me to come when Dumbledore said I didn't have to." "He said what?"
This was news. I had been given no such choice.
"When he came to see me, to explain to my parents what all the strange things happening around me meant, he offered me a position at Hogwarts but he also said that I could choose to stay with my family if I wanted. It was Mum really, who asked about it. I think she was scared to let me come at first." "Did you ever really consider not attending Hogwarts?" "I have an older sister. She doesn't have any magic at all but we're still really close. I miss her."
That's what she had been trying to get at. She missed home and wondered if I did too. She wanted to know if the magnificence that is Hogwarts was enough to make me forget everything I had left behind. Obviously she didn't know where I came from.
"That must be hard." "It is. She really wanted to come here, she even wrote to Dumbledore asking if he could make an exception for her. But she doesn't have any magic. We had a fight before I got on the train. She called me a freak. I know she didn't mean it though. She was just upset." "She sounds jealous." "She doesn't mean anything by it."
Maybe it was a good thing I was an only child.
I left a lot of kids back at the orphanage who were sad and frightened to see me go. They knew I would be back, I had promised and I never broke a promise, but only I knew that some of them wouldn't be there when I returned.
What would it be like to miss the ones you leave behind? Would I like Hogwarts less if I had left a sister behind, someone I loved, instead of a sad little orphan girl who had attached herself to me as the guardian of the orphanage?
I don't think so.
"Are you afraid to like Hogwarts because your sister is making you feel bad?" "She's not." "She is, even if she doesn't mean to. You feel bad that she got left behind. Maybe you even promised her you would talk to someone about her coming in next year, or said that you would teach her over the holidays. And now you feel that you shouldn't like it because she can't be a part of it."
"Dumbledore said there was no place for her to fit in here. He said that without magic she would be helpless in this world. He said it was safer for her to know as little as possible about our world. She's really upset about it. I love it here but I should hate it, because she can't be a part of it. Right?" "No. I don't think so. Anyone who loves you will want you to be happy even if your path leads in a different direction from their own. You shouldn't make yourself miserable because you feel guilty for something completely out of your control. You should make the best of the situation you find yourself in."
She considered my words as I made a few corrections to my essay. I think most people would have studied her as she thought about what I'd said. But I was more happy trying to pretend I hadn't just told her what to do like I knew anything about her situation. I had just given her advice like I cared about the outcome. But I wasn't supposed to be getting close to anyone here. So what had that been about?
She was quiet for a few minutes before I felt her eyes on me again. I sighed quietly to myself before I met her gaze.
"Thanks." "You're welcome. We only have an hour before dinner, do you want to work on the Defense lesson or that drawing for Herbology?" "Um...the drawing I think." "Alright then."
We actually got a lot done today and it was nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and help split some of the research. It made the easy stuff less boring and the hard stuff less intimidating to have someone to share the burden with.
I'm going to bed. We got most of our homework done today but I want to go over that Transfiguration essay again before I hand it in tomorrow so I'll be up early.
