I spoke to my mother only once in my life. When she was sick. I was 7. I had been running in the garden, and had stumbled on a small healing. I slowly pushed back the door and saw my mother. I hadn't known she was sick before, no one had told me. Weakly, she gazed at me. "Come in, please." I walked timidly to the bed. I had rarely spoken to my mother. She put a frail hand on my head. "Kaida. Soon…I will die."
I did not feel any pain. I hardly knew this woman, had no emotional attachment to her at all. So I let my face stay emotionless. "I want you to promise me something." I nodded.
"No matter what happens. No matter how hard it gets. You must stay in this house. No one must know…" she broke of in a coughing fit, then continued, but now she was crying, "That I had that…thing's child. Don't ever leave this place. Tell no one about me or your father. Stay here with Goro." For a second, she looked guilty. "I'm sure if you stay out of his way and do what he says, he will be fine." I stood. Unresponsively I looked at her. "PROMISE ME!" Mother said, an insane gleam in her eye. She was exerting herself far to much.
"I promise."
"Do you swear to God?"
"Yes." She fell back onto the bed. "Thank you." Then she quietly slept. I left for my quarters. That night I heard the news. Mother had died in her sleep. With a smile on her face. I was partly responsible for her death. If she hadn't exerted herself so much to make me do what she wanted she might have not died. Had I just said yes sooner, would she have lived longer? I knew, when I heard that, I had to keep that promise.
The promise that ruined my life.
