~~ VI ~~

"It's your turn, Daddy."

"Yeah, Lee, it's your turn. Good luck. You're gonna need it."

Lee turned and scowled at Philip. "Luck has nothing to do with it," he said, reaching out and taking the top card from the pile.

As he turned it over, Jamie collapsed into helpless laughter. "Blue again! You still can't move."

Phillip joined in. "That's what, ten turns in a row stuck in the Molasses Swamp. I think you've set a new family record."

Emily reached out and patted his hand encouragingly. "Don't worry, Daddy. If I get a red card on my next turn, I'll give it to you."

Lee shook his head. He could take on the most skilled blackjack dealer in Monaco and come away a winner, but apparently the intricacies of Candy Land were beyond his capabilities. And what was he thinking anyway, spending New Year's Eve playing board games?

He should be at a lavish party at some club, listening to a live band, swaying to the music, with an appropriately elegant escort in his arms. Come to think of it, hadn't Elisa Danton invited him to the French Embassy's New Year's Ball just a few weeks ago? He sighed. No, that was nine years in the past, the evening long over and done with.

Amanda called from the kitchen. "It's five minutes to midnight. Anyone want to help get ready for the big moment?"

"Gladly." Lee got up off the couch and hurried into the kitchen. Anything to get away from those damn gingerbread men with their smiling faces. He took the chilled bottle from Amanda with an appreciative grin. The day before, he'd been relieved to find a couple of bottles of high quality French champagne tucked away in the refrigerator. Apparently his new lifestyle hadn't totally eroded all of his standards.

"Do I get champagne, too?" Emily asked, her solemn hazel eyes suddenly staring up at him. She had the uncanniest knack for appearing out of nowhere.

Lee smiled down at her. "No, you get sparkling apple cider. I bought it just for you."

Emily squealed as he deftly popped the cork on the champagne.

"Gramma told me 'xactly what we're supposed to do," she said, taking a deep breath. "First we have to wait for the big ball to drop and then we all have to make bread."

"Bread?" Lee tilted his head questioningly.

"That's what Gramma said," Emily persisted stubbornly.

"I think you mean 'toast', sweetheart," Amanda said gently. "That means we all say 'Happy New Year' and clink our glasses together."

"They're starting the countdown," Jamie called, turning up the volume on the television. They all counted along with Dick Clark. "Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . Happy New Year!"

Well, it had to be better than the last year, Lee thought gloomily. Or better than the end of the year, at least. He watched as Emily carefully made the rounds, clinking her glass with both brothers and then Amanda. She came up to him and exclaimed, "Happy New Year, Daddy!"

He touched his glass to hers. "Happy New Year, Emily," he told her with a soft smile.

"Now everybody has to kiss!" Emily explained. Again she worked her way around the room.

Amanda followed suit, giving both her sons a peck on the cheek. "Happy New Year's, fellas," she said. "Thanks so much for staying in with us tonight."

"That's okay," Jamie laughed. "Renee won't allow him to date anyway. They're 'exclusive'."

Phillip shot a warning glare at his brother. "It's no problem, Mom," he said, then lowered his voice slightly. "This can't be very easy for the two of you."

"Mommy, you forgot to kiss Daddy." Emily stood beside Lee, a look of concern on her face.

Lee could feel his throat constrict as he looked across the room at Amanda. Kiss?

"Emily, they don't have to kiss," Jamie put in quickly.

"Yes, they do," Emily stated firmly. "Gramma said all the ladies have to kiss the mens."

"It's okay, Jamie," Amanda said faintly.

Lee could see a flush on her cheeks as she walked over to him. Awkwardly he reached out and clasped both of her arms. For a long moment, he stood looking into her expressive dark brown eyes. Her lower lip trembled slightly and he could hear the soft flutter of her breath over her parted lips. A faint scent of spring lilacs, both intoxicating and comforting at the same time, wafted over him.

He had no idea how long he would have remained there, staring into her face if Amanda hadn't taken the initiative. Slowly she leaned in and brushed her lips against his in a brief contact. Lee tightened his grip on her arms and pressed his lips back against hers. Amanda gasped slightly and backed away, a puzzled look on her face.

He stood there stupidly for a few seconds, wondering what had just had happened. Amanda had kissed him. And for a moment, he'd wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, to kiss her back, to prolong their contact, to let his greedy lips roam over her face, his hands over her . . . He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? Exactly how potent was that champagne, anyway?

Amanda apparently had been much less affected by their brief contact. She had already turned away and was saying to Emily, "Now, it's time you hit the sack, young lady. And no arguments. You promised that if we let you stay up until midnight you'd go straight to bed."

"Okay, but I want Daddy to tuck me in." She put her hand into Lee's and pulled him towards the stairs.

Amanda was alone in the kitchen when Lee came downstairs ten minutes later. "Emily was so excited I could hardly get her to brush her teeth and get into bed." He stopped and nervously looked around the empty room. "Where did the boys disappear to?"

"They went over to Mother's apartment to watch their video. Apparently it's just loaded with explosions and car chases and they thought it might keep Emily awake. Mother won't be home for several hours yet, I'm sure." Amanda finished loading the dishwasher and closed the door. "I think I'll do these by hand," she said, indicating the crystal glasses on the counter.

"Let me help." Lee picked up a towel and waited while she filled the sink with soapy water. They fell into an easy rhythm as Amanda washed each glass, rinsed it and handed it to him to dry.

"It's really handy having the apartment over the garage."

"Mmm-hmm. Apparently we decided to have it remodeled back when I was expecting Emily."

Lee looked away uncomfortably. He wondered what that must have been like, Amanda pregnant with his child. Somehow he'd never really pictured himself as ever being a father. Of course, after the fiasco with Eva, he hadn't even pictured himself as getting married.

"Lee." Amanda's soft but insistent voice broke through his reverie and he realized she was holding out the last glass to him.

"Sorry about that," he said. "I was just . . . thinking about something else."

"Yeah," she said, "me too." They stared at each other silently for a few moments, then Amanda broke off their eye contact and said, "Maybe I should head upstairs, too. It's been a pretty long day."

Lee reached out a hand to stop her. "Amanda, I was thinking, we really do need to talk."

"Yeah?" She looked down at his fingers resting gently on her arm.

Lee quickly moved his hand away again. "Yeah."

She sighed. "I suppose so. Okay, let me go check on Emily and I'll be right back."

~ ~ SMK ~ ~

This was getting to be a regular habit, Amanda mused as she stood on the landing, unsure if she should go up or down. Lee was waiting for her, but she needed a few moments to collect her thoughts. It had been a rather unsettling evening.

She sighed and ran her fingers lightly over her lips, as if she could still feel the touch of Lee's lips against hers. Maybe he thought she'd wanted to kiss him. That she'd put Emily up to it. Oh, she'd really have to 'thank' her mother for giving Emily such explicit descriptions of New Year's Eve rituals.

"Amanda?"

She quickly dropped her hand from her lips and looked down to find Lee standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said, then added more firmly, "Really."

She walked down the stairs and followed him into the den.

"I figured we might as well finish off the last of the champagne." He indicated two glasses sitting on the coffee table.

Nervously Amanda took a seat on the couch and picked up one of the glasses. Lee sat down beside her and did the same. "Cheers," he said, raising his glass. She followed suit and took a quick swallow to bolster her courage. It suddenly occurred to her that the two of them had probably done the same thing exactly one week earlier on Christmas Eve. Only then she would have been totally at ease, enjoying the late night quiet with her husband, instead of being on edge, weighing her every word before she uttered it.

"I've been thinking," Lee cleared his throat and began. "It's been almost a week now and McJohn hasn't had much luck finding our antidote. And our memories don't seem to be coming back on their own, either."

"So what should we do?" she asked nervously.

"It's too early to make any long term decisions, but . . ." Lee reached up and rubbed his neck.

"You shouldn't have to keep sleeping on the couch," Amanda finished for him. "It is your house too, Lee."

He looked up sharply at her and for a panicked moment she wondered if he thought she was suggesting . . . "Jamie and Phillip are leaving on Sunday," she said in a rush. "So you can have their room."

"Is semester break over already?" Lee asked.

"No, they're going to spend the rest of their holidays with Joe."

"Joe?"

"My ex-husband. Their father," she explained.

"That's right." Lee sat back on the couch and closed his eyes. "He lives out of the country, doesn't he? I vaguely remember you mentioning him in the profile you filled out when you started at the Agency."

"He works for E.A.O. According to the boys, Joe was appointed their liaison with the U.N. at the Hague just a couple of months back. The boys have never been to Holland before and they're looking forward to it."

Lee smiled. "I remember my first trip to Amsterdam. My uncle was stationed at an Air Force base in Germany, and my buddies and I drove over to check out the red-light district. There was one girl who . . ." Catching Amanda's eye, he let his words trail off.

She was silent for a moment then asked, "Lee, do you miss your old life? I mean, the way you remember things were?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sometimes. Everything just feels so strange, I'm not sure where . . . or if . . . I fit in."

"This is all pretty strange for me too," she said. "But it's got to be more difficult for you. So I'd understand if you . . ." She made a vague gesture with her hands, then let them fall back into her lap.

An expression she couldn't decipher flitted across his face. "And what would we tell Emily?" he asked in a low voice. "Are you ready to deal with that?"

"I'm just scared," Amanda whispered. "What if we never get our memories back? What if it all just stays this great big blank space?"

"And what if it doesn't?" Lee countered. "What if I decide to leave and then it starts coming back?"

"Have you remembered anything at all about . . . us?" she pressed, pinning him to the couch with a frank stare.

"Well, no. At least, I don't think so. But I keep having these feelings of . . . hell, I don't know. But I don't want to just pick up and leave, and that's got to mean something, don't you think?" He reached out and grasped his champagne glass by its stem, twisting it around and around. "I don't want Emily to think that I . . . Look," he straightened up and rubbed his forehead wearily, "it's only been a week. Like you said, with the boys gone, I can move into their room. We've been doing okay so far, haven't we? So let's not make any drastic decisions just yet."

"Okay," she acquiesced. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Their eyes met and for one moment Amanda had the oddest feeling that Lee might kiss her again. Hurriedly, she jumped up. "I'd better get upstairs. The boys are planning on having friends over all day to watch football, and I promised I'd help them get ready." Before Lee could get out a reply, she rushed out of the room.

She wasn't sure, but as she hurried up the stairs she thought she heard him mutter a bitter, "Happy New Year, Amanda."

TBC