Wow! A lot of people have read and visited 'Words I'll Never Say'. That is so cool! Thanks for taking time out to read my story, I really appreciate it :D
What to expect from this chapter: Harry seeking out and apologising to Naruto after being lectured by Sirius and his friends; Harry and Naruto sharing their sad pasts with each other, including the most important people involved - forging a new friendship together.
This chapter update was partly inspired by Green Day's song '21 Guns' - look it up and listen to it, it's really good!
I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter - they belong to their respective owners (the lucky bastards L), and I don't own Green Day's song '21 Guns' - a very inspirational song. As always my dears, constructive criticism is appreciated and flames are not welcomed. Thanks for your consideration xx
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NARUTO!
NEW BONDS
"Do you know what's worth fighting for? When it's not worth dying for? Does it take your breath away, and you feel yourself suffocating? "
The very air within the Kitchen became icy the moment Mrs Weasley and Hermione left the room in search for Naruto. Harry cringed uncomfortably as several glares started digging into him like knives. He avoided eye contact with everyone - deeming it a safer alternative as he sorted out his thoughts.
Outwardly, Harry felt resentful and angry that Dumbledore of all people would go out of his way to hire somebody who clearly was the same age as him as a personal bodyguard, and the fact that his friends obviously agreed made it all the more worse. Harry reckoned that if he had managed to narrowly escape death at the hands of Lord Voldemort several times already, then he should be able to take care of himself without involving a complete stranger into his life and death crisis. He was still grieving the loss of his friend, Cedric Diggory the year before when he was killed unnecessarily by Wormtail, Voldemort's twitchy, anxious servant using Voldemort's wand. The death was still a sore subject with Harry and he got easily snappish when questioned about what really happened that night by either friends or casual acquaintances both in Hogwarts and out.
Inwardly, Harry was confused about where all of his corrosive anger was coming from. He knew for a fact that Naruto didn't deserve what Harry had said to him. So why did he lash out like that? Sure he was annoyed, but people who were annoyed didn't insult another person's profession. Naruto was just doing his job - a job that Harry was sceptical about.
Ninja? I thought they didn't exist? Or if I'm mistaken and they do, they're probably just cheesy marshal-arts knockoffs or some Jackie Chan wannabes… A disappointed face darted into his view and he immediately straightened wearing an stoic expression on his face. It was Lupin who had gotten up from his seat to sit across from Harry to talk with him properly.
"Would you care to explain yourself please, Harry? What you said before was not like you at all." stated Lupin sternly. Ron nodded.
"Yeah Harry, that was kinda harsh - Naruto isn't Malfoy you know." He added with a mystified tone in his voice.
"I know that. I just don't know where that anger came from - Naruto doesn't seem like a bad person, a little annoying maybe and slightly obnoxious but so can many people." Harry admitted.
"Nevertheless, you were unnecessarily rude to that poor boy." Mrs Weasley stated as she walked back into the Kitchen with an upset looking Hermione who refused to look over at Harry. Clearly, Naruto meant something to them in the short time he had been here if they was reacting this way. Sirius laced his fingers together and balanced his chin on them as he peered over at Harry solemnly.
"Naruto is quite right, Harry. He doesn't technically have to be here protecting you from Voldemort - and he is justified in saying that if you were killed prematurely at Voldemort's hands that everyone sitting in this room would be inconsolable if you were to die." Sirius stated. "He and I spoke with each other yesterday, about why he was here - and I must say that he has suffered similar circumstances that you had in his life." He said seriously.
Harry glanced around the room at his friends to see if Sirius was telling him the truth or just generally trying to make him feel worse than he already did, and was shocked when he saw all the straight faces.
"So somebody put those scars on Naruto's face?" Harry questioned suddenly feeling sick if what he suspected was true: some psycho kidnapped Naruto when he was younger, held him hostage for an unspecified length of time and tortured him by cutting six deep cuts into his cheeks with a knife or scalpel.
Maybe that loud, obnoxious and hyperactive behaviour Naruto exuberated was an elaborate front to hide behind what he was really feeling. Harry shuddered at the very thought that Naruto might've been put underneath that sort of trauma. At least his scar had been created by an evil curse, and he couldn't remember if it hurt him or not since he had only been one at the time and could only remember seeing a blinding flash of green light and Voldemort's high cruel laughter.
Everyone who knew hesitated.
"Yes and no. But it's best that Naruto explains that to you. It's kinda complicated." Ginny answered.
"But the point is, Harry - Dumbledore clearly asked for Naruto's help because there is a strong chance that whatever happens this year might be more than you can handle. Even if you have Ron, Hermione or anyone else's help. Who ever was sent to take you out must be accomplished at their job, and I commend Dumbledore for hiring someone who knew what they were doing." said Lupin.
Harry nodded realising that they all had good points and that sometimes he did need help. So he decided to apologise to Naruto the next time he saw him.
"Does the pain weigh out the pride? And you look for a place to hide? Did someone break your heart inside, you're in ruins…"
Dinner was finished and Harry and his friends were told by Mrs Weasley that the next day they would start 'spring cleaning' Sirius' house from top to bottom. All that was left to do as far as everyone was concerned, was Harry to make peace with Naruto, who was currently fast asleep in Harry, Ron and his shared room. Because of the circumstances, Ron was going to temporarily sleep in Fred and George's room for the night while Harry and Naruto talked.
"Well, night dear. Don't stay up too long." Mrs Weasley made Harry promise her.
"Thanks Mrs Weasley. Goodnight." and disappeared into the tiny, dusty bedroom - hoping that his plans to apologise to Naruto wouldn't blow up in his face. The room was dimly lit with a warm orange-yellow ambiance that came from a nearby lamp which reflected upon the still figure of Naruto lying motionless on his cot, snoring softly. Harry sighed to himself before sitting down on his cot, which squeaked slightly underneath his weight and caused Naruto to stir from his sleep and blink at Harry.
"Take a picture, It'll last longer…" Naruto drawled as he rolled over onto his back and fixed a sheepish Harry with a hurt glare. Sleeping obviously hadn't erased Naruto's memory of what had happened hours ago back in the Kitchen, much to Harry's dismay.
But then again, I probably would hold a grudge too if somebody had a go at me for no reason…
As Harry started figuring out how to apologise properly to Naruto, said blonde bitingly called out.
"Is there something you need, or are you looking for a punching bag to attack?" Harry winced.
"I guess I deserved that…" He figured.
Naruto pulled a face. "You think?"
The jinchuuriki swung his legs over the side of the cot and sat there briefly, swiping his hand over his face to clear away the sleep. Then he rose to his feet and thudded noisily towards the door.
"Uh? Where you going?" He asked, hoping the question wasn't too nosy. Naruto yawned again as he answered.
"To pee. Anything else you need to know?" Harry scowled but held his tongue as he moved to ask his second question, hoping Naruto would listen and agree.
"When you come back, I need to talk to you. Would you mind?" He asked hopefully. Naruto considered this before shrugging and opening the door.
"Yeah, yeah. Be right back…" and disappeared for five minutes before returning and thudding down on his cot facing the ceiling.
"Alright, what did you wanna talk to me about?" Naruto asked getting straight to the point because he wanted to go back to sleep.
If he was going to be helping everyone else clean up this house, he needed all the sleep he could get. Didn't necessarily mean that he wouldn't be grumpy in the morning when he awoke. It was a good thing Kakashi-sensei wasn't on this mission with him, otherwise they'd be waiting for at least an hour before they would get started with the cleaning.
"Actually, I just wanted to apologise for being such a dick. I have no idea why I suddenly got angry and lashed out at you, but it was no excuse and I'm sorry." Harry mumbled feeling guilty. Naruto turned to his side to look Harry in the eye - searching for sincerity before grinning.
"Apology accepted. Is that all you wanted to talk to me about or…?"
Harry was astonished - he didn't realise it wouldn't take him long for Naruto to accept his rather lame apology. The blonde was either a little too naïve and forgiving for his own good, or just really, really stupid.
Harry was hoping for the former.
"Sirius told me that you had a similar childhood to mine growing up. Is that true?" Harry asked curiously. Naruto froze before looking over at him grimly.
"Yes." He admitted, wondering where Harry was going with this conversation. Harry swallowed unhappily.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked cautiously. Naruto flinched.
"Not really. But since everybody else already knows about it, I s'pose you should be filled in as well." He reluctantly agreed. "However… could we do this tomorrow? I'm really tired and I don't really care at the moment." Naruto whined pitifully, causing Harry to roll his eyes but smiled as he nodded.
Naruto grinned.
"Yosh! Talk to you later then, Harry!" He chirped before rolling over and falling back to sleep. Harry blinked with confusion before slowly pulling back his doona and sliding between it and the cot before taking off his glasses and replacing them on his nightstand and falling asleep to the sounds of Naruto's light snoring.
The dreams that night were not Harry's friends – images of the newly returned Voldemort in all his vile glory smirking evilly, pointing his wand at an unfortunate victim and the sounds of petrified screaming that echoed repetitively. Harry also glimpsed images of a dark, corridor filled with archways. Its walls and ceilings were lined with glossy black tiles and the floor was a burnished and black and teal colour. At the very end of the corridor was a large blue door with a big brass knob – that to Harry screamed danger.
But before he could reach out a hand and grasp the doorknob, Harry woke up.
He could hear himself panting and his skin was damp with a cold sweat. He sat up with eyes darting about the room searching for intruders and potentially volatile witches and wizards. He felt extremely vulnerable and frightened as though expecting somebody to jump out of the shadows and attack him without warning.
"You have nightmares too, huh?"
Harry looked towards the owner of the sympathetic voice and saw Naruto sitting up in bed, balancing on his elbows.
"How do you know that?" asked Harry in bewilderment. Naruto smiled sadly and leaned against his headboard giving Harry his full attention as the dark-haired boy waited for Naruto to elaborate.
"I know the signs. I got them all the time when I was younger - so much so that I couldn't sleep at night fearing that they might be real. Wasn't until I gained some friends that they started going away." said Naruto looking a little sad. "I do still get them occasionally when something is really bugging me or if something bad is going to happen though." The blonde added as Harry studied him curiously, trying to decide whether he should tell him about the dream - after all he was his bodyguard.
"Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps." Naruto suggested patting the space across from him, inviting Harry to sit there. Harry's eyes widened in shock. Was Naruto a mind reader too?
"Okay, that'd be great. Thanks." said Harry shaken a little and got out of his bed to sit across from Naruto who grinned slightly. However, the moment Harry sat down on the faded quilt he couldn't help but focus on Naruto's whisker-like scars.
He frowned contemplatively.
"Uh… just wondering. How did you get those scars on your cheeks?" Harry asked cautiously in case Naruto got defensive.
The blonde ninja winced slightly, but realised that this conversation was going to occur sooner or later. He glanced over to the window and judged that it was at least six in the morning - about the time he'd be getting up in Konoha for a typical mission anyway - which technically, this was. His mission to protect Harry had started the moment Harry stepped through the threshold.
"Uh…these are birthmarks. I was born with them." He answered scratching his unruly hair awkwardly. Harry's eyebrows shot into his hairline.
"Those are some weird birthmarks…" He commented his hand automatically reaching out to the touch them without him noticing. He had almost touched Naruto's cheek before suddenly realised what he was doing and stopped himself just in time.
"Sorry." He muttered before pulling back his arm and turning away with embarrassment. Naruto chuckled in amusement before quickly grabbing Harry's wrist and guiding it to his cheek.
"It's alright. I don't mind as long as people ask me first."
Harry slowly moved his fingers gently across each 'scar' on Naruto's cheek. The scars felt remarkably soft underneath his fingertips. Kind of like what a cat's fur would feel like if you carded your fingers through it: silky smooth.
"How did you get your scar?" Naruto asked Harry who immediately retracted his hand from Naruto's cheek and placed it over his lightning bolt scar and felt his heart constricting painfully at the memory. Naruto's frowned at his reaction.
"Voldemort gave it to me, the night he killed my parents." Naruto's eyes widened in horror and felt sorry for Harry as he recognised the pain and suffering reflected within the green eyes.
Iruka-sensei and the Third Hokage had once told him that his own blue eyes had once held an empty, emotionless look in them that told anybody who cared about him that he had suffered, and suffered badly. Naruto was convinced that he could see the same emotions reflected in Harry's eyes - the only difference was that Harry had friends who could help him. Naruto didn't have any friends until he first started out as a Genin in Team Seven and even then it took awhile for them to actually take him seriously, since Naruto had a reputation of being a prankster and for being annoying and stupid - which earned him the title of 'dead last' in his class, or 'dobe' by Sasuke, his mysterious teammate. What Naruto didn't know was that 'dobe' was Sasuke's pet name for him.
Harry sighed sadly.
"I spent most of my life living with my Aunt, Uncle and my cousin Dudley. If you could call it living - they never wanted to take me in, they just treated me like I was a burden until the day I got my Hogwarts letter. That was the happiest moment I had ever had when I discovered that I was a wizard, aside from getting my first glimpse of the Castle, learning all about magic and meeting Ron and Hermione. If it weren't for them, I probably would've gone nuts from the loneliness."
Naruto hummed understandingly.
"I don't remember my parents. They both died when I was born." Naruto admitted, making Harry realise how almost realistic their separate lives were.
"Do you know how they died?"
Naruto shrugged. "No idea. The Third Hokage in my village told me, that on the night I was born was when the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon, Kyuubi attacked the Village. My parents must have been killed during the attack." He replied sadly. "But nobody knew the reason why Kyuubi had invaded Konoha in the first place."
"Kyuubi?" Harry questioned.
"Yeah, the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon. That's why I've got these scars on my cheeks." He said pointing towards his face.
Harry looked surprised. "Let me get this straight, you're the Fox Demon?"
Naruto pulled an insulted face as Kyuubi growled at the same time agreeing with Naruto.
"No! I'm nothing like that overgrown orange fur ball, thanks very much!" Naruto corrected Harry who looked extremely confused while Kyuubi complained about being labelled as an 'overgrown orange fur ball.'
"Then why do you have those scars?" He asked sounding exasperated. Naruto sighed and borrowed Shikamaru's favourite phrase 'troublesome' to describe how much this conversation was wearing on him and how much he wished he didn't have to explain this to Harry.
"The Fourth Hokage was in charge of protecting Konoha at the time of my birth. The tricky part at the time was that Kyuubi cannot be killed, so the Fourth did the only thing he could think of to save the village. Seal it within the body of a newborn child. And not just any newborn child - one that has just had its umbilical cord cut."
There was silence for several seconds.
"You're that baby?" Harry whispered, sounding as horrified as Sirius did when Naruto explained that story to him. Naruto nodded solemnly.
"When did you find out?"
"I was on mission with my teammates and we got into a fight with a Rogue Ninja and his Apprentice. Sasuke, my best friend, he and I were fighting against Haku - the apprentice when I was knocked to the ground. Haku aimed some senbon needles at me, and Sasuke intercepted them and got impaled with them instead." He said, letting the memories of that day pass through his head like a slideshow. "Sasuke was knocked unconscious, but at the time I thought Haku had killed him." Naruto laughed humourlessly before continuing. "I remembered experiencing extreme shock, then numbness. Then all of a sudden, all I could feel was blind anger building within me. It felt so cruel, unyielding and tempting, and all I wanted was blood and death."
Naruto closed his eyes and for a second he could see Haku's pleading face standing before him with the cracked glass mirrors reflecting behind him.
"Next thing I knew, was hearing Haku asking me to kill him. That was when I came back to my senses - Kakashi-sensei, my mentor later explained to me that I had re-awoken Kyuubi the moment I convinced myself that my precious person had been killed."
Harry was stunned, he couldn't imagine experiencing something like that. If it had been Ron, Hermione or even Sirius who had been killed, he probably would do something worse.
"What's a precious person?" Harry asked. Naruto blinked, how was he going to explain this?
"A precious person is somebody who means something to you. Somebody who probably has had an impact on your life in one way or another." He explained. Harry put two and two together.
This Sasuke? Is he Naruto's precious person?
Harry took a moment to absorb the information Naruto had just given him. But there were some things that he had said that were completely strange to Harry's ears.
"What are Rogue Ninjas and senbon needles?" Harry asked his curiosity was making Naruto extremely amused, and very relieved that Harry too hadn't rejected him - if all of these questions had anything to do with it.
"Rogue Ninjas are ninjas who had defected from their Villages for different reasons and have been labelled as 'traitors' by their villages." Naruto paused again before deciding to tell Harry. "Sasuke became one three years ago."
"Sorry, that's gotta be hard for you." Harry guessed. Naruto nodded before answering Harry's second question. The wizard recognised the subject was a sore one and realised that Naruto was brushing that aside not wishing to talk about it.
"Senbon needles are a weapon - looks like an ordinary sewing needle, but is used to immobilise our targets by making our body parts go numb. Sometimes they can be used to kill if you aim for a pressure point that could cause instant death. The more dangerous ninjas like to coat their senbons with poison."
Harry nodded.
"Is there a chance you can you show me Kyuubi?" asked Harry curiously. Naruto's mouth dropped open in shock.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Harry." He said, but Kyuubi suddenly spoke in his ear, as though he was sitting right beside him. He started speaking out loud with the Fox.
"You can't be serious."
Harry raised an eyebrow, Naruto was talking to thin air.
"Do you want to traumatise him?" Naruto growled protectively. "Alright then."
Naruto then returned his attention towards Harry who frowned questioningly at him.
"Harry this is Kyuubi." then the blonde ninja bowed his head like he had suddenly drifted back to sleep. Harry groaned with annoyance, thinking that was exactly what he had done and leaned over to poke the 'sleeping' ninja awake.
"Where?" asked the confused wizard, finger outstretched to poke Naruto's shoulder.
"Right here, brat."
Harry froze when a deep, sardonic and menacing voice answered his question. It was coming from Naruto's direction. The blonde started laughing throatily as he raised his head to reveal a completely different Naruto than before causing Harry to jump back in shock.
This being impersonating Naruto now had subtle red highlights in his messy blonde hair. The scars on his cheeks that were once so thin they appeared to have been drawn on with a pencil, now were thicker, blacker and had elongated slightly, Naruto's slightly pointed front teeth were now sharpened incisors that a fox would have and his blunt fingernails were now sharp talons. But the feature that had Harry slightly afraid of his new friend were Naruto's eyes which used to be cerulean blue and full of warmth and friendliness; now the blonde's eyes were a sinister blood red and his pupils were slit like a cat's that were filled with hate and malice. If Harry had brought Crookshanks into the room for comparison, they would be a close match.
The poor wizard gulped audibly causing the smirk that had appeared on Naruto's face to widen with interest.
"What's the matter, cat got ya tongue?"
Harry instantly decided that he preferred Naruto than his alter-ego.
"Well this isn't something I see everyday." Harry retorted, causing 'Kyuubi' to roll his eyes.
"Typical. Get's the chance to meet someone completely different and suddenly becomes hostile towards them…" Kyuubi muttered unimpressed with Harry already.
"Look, I was intrigued okay? I feel sorry that Naruto has to deal with such a complete prat living within him. I can see why he didn't want me to meet you. You're a right foul git." Harry decided.
Kyuubi's smirk widened. "Thank You."
"And a comedian? Wow, isn't this my lucky day?" Harry drawled sarcastically.
That wiped the smirk off Kyuubi's face.
"Now you remind me of that Uchiha brat. He too was extremely sarcastic and rude as well." Kyuubi remarked contemplatively.
Harry was taken aback. "I remind you of Naruto's precious person?"
Kyuubi pulled a revolted face and turned his head away from Harry.
"The Uchiha was far more than just his 'precious person'." Kyuubi told Harry, ignoring Naruto's yelling in the back of his mind. "Uchiha is known as Naruto's foil, someone who first and foremost became the Kit's rival and challenged him in every aspect of his ninja life so that Naruto could improve himself. Then somewhere along the way, Uchiha became his best friend."
Harry tried to place himself in Naruto's shoes to try and imagine what that would be like.
"When Uchiha defected from that blasted village, it broke the kit's heart."
Harry snapped his head up to look Kyuubi in the eye. The Fox lord snorted humourlessly.
"Humans. You never learn. Putting your heart on your sleeve is a sure fire way of getting your heart broken in the most unpleasant ways. Which is why 'precious person' isn't a strong enough description to describe what the Uchiha truly means to the Kit. A more accurate term would be 'soul mate'." Kyuubi stated distastefully to the astonished wizard.
"But that doesn't make sense, how can Sasuke be Naruto's 'soul mate' they're both male." Harry stated.
"Your point? Gender isn't a factor where the heart is concerned, kid. If you love somebody with all your heart - that feeling will never go away. It stays with you until you take your last breath on this god-forsaken Earth."
That made Harry go quiet. Kyuubi then growled in annoyance.
"I gotta go. The Kit's giving me a headache with all his pathetic yelling. Be seeing ya." Then Naruto's head flopped back down on his chest. Immediately, Naruto stirred and lifted his head to reveal to Harry that his cerulean eyes had returned.
The blonde ninja was not amused.
"What did that overgrown pile of lint talk about?" Naruto demanded hoping that he hadn't revealed anything TOO private to Harry. The wizard pretended that he hadn't heard anything really personal.
"I just asked him a few questions about himself. He's actually kinda scary - did you get that impression too?" He lied. Naruto scratched his head thoughtfully.
"Nah, he's mostly just really annoying." He said, just as there was a knock at the bedroom door.
"Harry? Naruto? Are you awake? I need to get my clothes. Also Mum says that breakfast is ready!" yelled Ron who Naruto could sense was shuffling his feet awkwardly, probably assuming that he and Harry hadn't had their talk just yet.
"Yeah, we're cool Ron. C'mon in." He yelled back as the door instantly opened and Ron cautiously stepped inside, frowning at the troubled look on Harry's face.
"You alright there, Harry?" He asked with concern.
He came back to Earth.
"Huh? No, I just had a freaky nightmare last night." He admitted causing Naruto to groan.
"Oh yeah, we never got around to discussing that. Do you still want to?" He offered.
Harry shook his head.
"Nope. I'll get over it." He lied. "It's probably nothing."
He made a mental note to ask either Sirius or Dumbledore the next time he saw them. He felt that Naruto had other things to deal with, without dumping Harry's problems into his lap.
"Okay, suit yourself. I'm starved." said Naruto, getting dressed at top speed like last time and dashing out the door before Ron and Harry had even a chance to shed a sock.
And I thought I had it bad… Thought Harry miserably as he watched Naruto putting a fake mask on to disguise the pain was relieving on a daily basis.
"One, 21 Guns. Lay down your arms, give up the fight. One, 21 Guns. Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I ..."
