Having Dean Winchester's very reluctant stamp of approval on things made life that much easier for Gabriel. Now that Dean knew who Sam was talking to, it meant that Gabriel didn't have to bother trying to hide himself as much anymore. He could text Sam whenever – not that he hadn't done that before anyways – and he could even follow up his texts with popping in, or he could bypass texting all together and just go straight to the source.
Well, so long as he was prepared to deal with a rather cranky Winchester. While Sam seemed to be warming up to his visits, slowly but surely, Dean wasn't at all pleased with Gabriel's presence and he'd made that more than clear each time he saw him. Whether it be by snorting at him, glaring, or straight up leaving the room. Not that it really bothered Gabriel in the least damn bit. It wasn't Dean that he was here for.
He knew that they'd already had their fight over him. Dean had only waited until Gabriel left that first night before he'd laid into Sam. That had been one epic argument. Gabriel had watched from the privacy of his own home, alternately cheering at the snarky remarks from either boy, or grimacing at the sharper words. When a solid right hook from Dean sent Sam to the ground, it'd had Gabriel wincing and fighting not to fly out there. Somehow he'd kept himself there on his couch, trying to remind himself that it wasn't something strange for one brother to punch another in a fight – especially these two – and that Sam had lied to Dean for quite a while. If he got off with just one fist to the face it was a lot better than it could've been.
The fight had let the two get a lot of their emotions out in the open and cleared things up a little between the two. They weren't perfect, but then again Gabriel hadn't expected that. Dean's deadline was getting closer and closer. Of course there was going to be tension. Because of that, because he knew what was coming, Gabriel made sure not to give in to Dean's obvious need to provoke a fight with him. He also held his tongue when Sam's words got a little sharp. Dean was spoiling for a fight – Sam was bottling up his emotions as best as he could and it would only take one wrong thing to send them spewing over.
This whole thing was one giant mess. As Gabriel sat on the couch in the latest Winchester motel room, watching the two hunters debate something over at the table and ignoring the glares that Dean kept sending his way, he tried not to let his worries get the best of him. They were just weeks away from Dean's deal coming due. Just a few short weeks left. What the hell was he going to do when that happened? So many things had changed since he'd set up the Mystery Spot to try and teach Sam to let Dean go.
Tilting his head, Gabriel looked over to Sam and watched the younger Winchester move, watched the play of expression over his face as Sam explained the details for their hunt. Some sort of ghost that Gabriel could've taken care of with a snap of his fingers. He didn't, though. Even he could see that these two needed something to do with themselves so they didn't go crazy. Having him do all their hunts for them wasn't going to do them any good. They needed to work to be able to distract themselves even for a short while.
Something Sam found had a corner of his mouth curving up into a grin that flashed just a hint of one dimple and those hazel eyes lit up.
Gabriel's grace gave a little lurch and he fought not to groan. It wasn't fair! Why on earth had Raziel had to grow up in a vessel that was so damn gorgeous? And one that seemed to suit him so well, too!
Well, that last part was easier answered than the first. It made sense that the vessel he was in suited him. When Raziel fell and his grace sought somewhere to go, and after each body he'd been in had died, his grace would've found a body somewhere with a child that was just forming, and it would've reached out to it and latched on just the same way that a soul attached to one. The body that formed was a product of both its parents, yes, but grace would've influenced its forming more than a normal soul would have. This body here really was a manifestation of Raziel's grace in quite a few ways.
Sure, there were plenty of traits that were pure Winchester, and some that were Campbell. But there were a lot of things that reminded Gabriel of the angel he'd once known. That light for knowledge that would fill his face, the color shifting eyes that reminded him so much of the warm and easy colors that could fill Raziel's grace when it would wrap around Gabriel. Even the height! Raziel had always been larger than the rest of them. Yet, at the same time, he'd never used that height against any of them. He hadn't paraded around and used his size to his advantage. If anything, he'd often made himself appear smaller, a feat that had always amazed Gabriel. It seemed that was another thing that hadn't changed. Sam often hunched down as if he could somehow make himself smaller that way.
"Loki?"
The sound of his other name interrupted Gabriel's thoughts and snapped him back to the present. He blinked eyes that had gone distant and then focused them right on Sam's face. The boy was watching him with a little furrow between his brows. Gabriel curved his own lips into a smile and arched one eyebrow. "What's up, buttercup?"
The nickname had the desired effect of wiping away Sam's curiosity and making him scowl. Really, the big guy shouldn't look so adorable when scowling. "Don't call me that."
Humming, but saying nothing, Gabriel shifted his weight to be more comfortable while looking at Sam, and he pulled a candy bar out of his pocket. It amused him even more that he could see Dean straightening up behind Sam and glaring even more than normal. Any signs of what Dean might consider flirting always brought out the worst looks from him. Naturally, it just made Gabriel want to do it more.
Sam seemed to realize that calling Gabriel on it wasn't going to do anything. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he didn't push it. "We're gonna go check out a couple of places before it gets really dark."
"So time to scram, buddy." Dean chimed in.
Well, now. Gabriel let his grin grow and took a bite off the candy bar. "Recon work? Sounds like fun!"
The two realized what he meant at almost the exact same time. Sam's mouth dropped open just the slightest bit as if he were honestly surprised that Gabriel would even think of coming with them, and really, who could blame him? Gabriel hadn't done any case work with them so far. At least not on a personal level like this. He'd sent hints and clues Sam's way a few times through text but that was it.
Dean, however, went from annoyed to straight up pissed off. "Oh hell no. You are not coming with us!"
"Not with you." Gabriel wrinkled his nose and looked Dean over before pretending to shudder. Then he turned his gaze to Sam and let the disgust melt off of his expression, practically beaming at the kid. It was so worth it as he watched the grace-soul in Sam light up and his cheeks heat up with a blush. "I call the Moose. We'll check out half your list and you can check out the other half. Gets it done twice as fast!"
It looked like Dean was going to protest. Before he could, Sam reached back and lightly touched his arm, startling him out of whatever he'd been about to say. "We were already planning on splitting up, Dean. It's fine."
"You sure, Sammy?"
There was something in Dean's look that Gabriel wasn't quite able to decipher. He could delve into the kid's head and see what it was he was trying to say to Sam, but he chose not to. No telling what it was like in that grapefruit. Not pleasant, most likely.
Whatever it was he was trying to say, it was obvious that Sam understood it. He tilted his head and shrugged one shoulder at the same time that a corner of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. Dean snorted and shook his head. The tension on his face melted a little, though, and the heat left his eyes.
What the hell? If Gabriel didn't know better, he'd think that Raziel had somehow retained some of his powers and was talking telepathically with the grumpier Winchester. A whole conversation had gone on with just those looks and Gabriel honestly had no idea what that conversation had even been about!
When the two turned back towards Gabriel they'd reached a silent accord without ever having had to say a word. Dean straightened up and fixed Gabriel with his hardest glare yet. "You hurt my brother and I swear, I'll find a way to make you regret it."
There were a thousand ways that Gabriel could've responded to that and most of them would've been entertaining and amusing. However, he resisted the urge to needle Dean and just let himself nod in acknowledgement of the threat.
"C'mon." Sam said, pushing up to his feet and placing himself perfectly between the two, breaking their staring contest. "The sooner we get out there, the sooner we'll find what we need and we can get this case wrapped up."
It appeared that what they were doing was searching through two different sections of woods on either side of town to try and find some sort of clearing or other that Sam swore would hold the girl's burial site. How on earth he knew that it was somewhere in the woods around town, but didn't know which section, Gabriel had no idea. He wasn't going to question it, though. Wandering through the fading light of dusk with a gorgeous moose? He'd definitely spent worse evenings.
Of course, he couldn't resist a little teasing to go with it all. Especially when he saw Sam twitch when something started rustling off in the distance. "Don't worry, Sammy. I'll protect you from the big bad monsters in the woods." Reaching out, Gabriel curled his hand around the crook of Sam's arm and then grinned up at him, enjoying the startled look on Sam's face.
Gabriel knew that Sam was just being cautious - they were on a hunt after all - but it was more fun to needle him.
Plus, it got him that bitchface that he'd learned meant 'I don't find you funny in the least bit', and that was always amusing to see. "I'm not scared. It's called being alert, Loki. It's how we humans stay alive."
Much to Gabriel's enjoyment, Sam didn't pull away from Gabriel's hold. In the archangel's mind that was pretty much permission to keep on holding on to his arm while they walked. "Pffft. You do realize I'd know something was coming our way long before you did?"
"I figured as much. Doesn't mean that you'd tell me, though."
Gabriel let out a surprised laugh. Damn, this kid could get sassy sometimes. He loved it. It wasn't the straight up temper that Dean fired back with. This was a hidden snarky side that Gabriel wanted nothing more than to encourage. It was a skill that probably came from being a little brother. "Sammy, I'm shocked! You think I'd stand here and let you get hurt?"
Sam slanted a look at him that Gabriel couldn't quite read. It was either amused or annoyed, he couldn't be sure. Sometimes the two seemed to mix together when Sam looked at him. "I think so long as it wasn't extremely deadly, you'd keep out of it and let me handle it on my own."
Well... maybe. Gabriel might have to give him that one. If it was something simple and easy he probably would stand back and let Sam handle it. There was something about watching the man when he hunted that could be rather appealing. He had a deadly grace to him that Gabriel had always enjoyed watching, even before he'd realized that it was probably a bit of his inner archangel leaking through. Raziel hadn't liked to fight but he still knew how. He knew quite a lot more than most angels would've credited him with. Not only had he known how to fight in his true form, Gabriel knew for a fact that Raziel had studied how to fight inside of a vessel as well. It was all knowledge to him and there'd been nothing more that Raz had loved than knowledge, except for their Father.
A warm hand settled over where Gabriel's hand still sat on Sam's arm. He looked up with surprise and saw that Sam wasn't really doing it intentionally - he was more instinctively bracing as they moved to step up over a rather rocky area and over a fallen log.
When they got to the top, Sam's hand dropped. He looked down at Gabriel and there was something curious on his face. Whatever it was, he wasn't asking. He just turned and went back to scanning the woods around them.
Gabriel shook his head and smiled to himself. Then he brought his other hand up so that he could thread his fingers together and continued to hold on to Sam's arm. As he did, he gave Sam's arm a squeeze. "What's on your mind there, kiddo?" At the look Sam gave him, Gabriel snorted. "What? You think I'm blind? I can see you've got questions. Whatever they are, go ahead and ask them. I may not always answer, or I may not give an answer you like, but I won't kill you just for asking a question."
That made Sam smile, even just a little. "Careful, Loki. I've been told I ask way too many questions. You really sure you want to make that kind of offer?"
"Bring it on, kiddo."
Sam chuckled and shook his head. He took a second before he spoke again, but only because something in the distance caught his attention and he turned a little to try and check it out. Only after he figured out that it wasn't what they were looking for did he start moving them again and finally brought his attention back to their conversation. "I guess I'm just... I was just curious. I mean, you have to admit this whole thing here," He gestured with one hand towards them and then the forest, "is a little strange."
"Meh." Gabriel shrugged his shoulders. "I like the forests and I like you."
Those simple words brought another blush to Sam's cheeks. It was absolutely adorable. The hunter shook his head. "I don't understand you."
"Of course you don't. I'm way too awesome for your puny human mind." Gabriel said immediately. He winked at Sam and then leaned in, bumping them together. "What's confusing you this time, though?"
Sam didn't answer right away. He took a few minutes to put his thoughts together. Gabriel didn't mind giving it to him. It wasn't like there was anything pressing ahead of them. The burial site was a little ways away yet. By Gabriel's calculations, they should reach it in another fifteen minutes. That was plenty of time for Sam to get his thoughts together and for them to talk. At least, that's what Gabriel believed. That is, right up until Sam opened his mouth and surprised Gabriel, yet again, with that sharp mind of his.
"Sometimes, I get the feeling that we're, I don't know, we're almost friends." Sam said slowly. He moved them around a patch of thick tree roots and Gabriel subtly pulled on Sam's arm until they were steered in the right direction. Sam didn't notice the movement and just kept walking. He chewed nervously on his bottom lip. "I mean, we hang out, we talk, we tell stories about our lives. It's kind of like being friends. But, other times… Sometimes, it's like you're… like you're mad at me for something. Only, I don't know what."
Gabriel arched an eyebrow. Interesting. Sam picked up on quite a lot more than Gabriel had given him credit for. To cover that up, he let his lips curve up into a smirk and his eyes flashed with a sharp sort of amusement. "Well you have tried to kill me more'n a few times now, kiddo."
Sam shook his head. "No, it's more personal. Like… like I pissed you off. I just don't know what I did."
It was hard to hold on to his masks when Sam spoke in that low, almost hesitant voice. The grace-soul in the kid was almost pulsing and Gabriel felt the draw of it, felt the need to reach out and touch something that he had once shared so much with. Looking up at Sam's face, he found that he couldn't lie. Not directly. His voice turned just a bit honest as he sighed and said "I am mad, Sammy – but not at you. You… remind me of someone I knew a long time ago."
"What'd they do?"
"Made some stupid choices." Gabriel sighed and turned away, staring out into the distance without really paying any attention to where they were walking. His own extra senses and Sam's arm would keep him from running into anything. Confident in that, the archangel lost himself for a moment in memories, in feelings that he'd tried so hard to suppress and which came to the surface the more time he spent around Sam. "He sent me away so I couldn't help him."
There was a long moment of quiet before Sam replied, his voice even softer than before. "Maybe he was trying to protect you."
"I don't need protecting!" Gabriel exclaimed.
"Doesn't matter." At Gabriel's sharp look, Sam shrugged. "Even if they don't think they need it, we still do it for the ones we love."
That sounded so much like Raziel. Even though he'd been younger, he'd wanted nothing more than to protect Gabriel. Memories of coming back from that mission, of finding Raziel gone, swamped the archangel. He closed his eyes and his own voice went soft. "I could've helped him."
"Maybe..." Sam bit his lip. Now he was the one staring off into space, not even noticing the way that Gabriel had turned to look at him.
The light had slowly faded around them and it was mostly dark now, cloaking everything in shadows. But Gabriel's eyes could see and they latched onto Sam's face. Neither one of them noticed that they'd stopped walking. Gabriel looked up at Sam, who was staring ahead of him. Gabriel had no idea what the kid was seeing but he knew it wasn't the forest. "Maybe what, Sam?" He asked softly.
"Maybe it was protecting him, too." Sam answered, his voice just as soft, and just as distant as his gaze was. "Maybe he was afraid he wouldn't have the strength to do what had to be done if you were there. Sometimes, even if we love someone, we make them weak. Maybe…Maybe he was afraid he'd be too weak with you there to make the kind of sacrifice he knew he had to make."
The whole world seemed to still around them. Gabriel didn't even bother making his vessel breathe. It wasn't like he needed it. He stood frozen, not even blinking as he watched Sam's face. How… how did he… It was like Sam was gone in that moment and Raziel was showing through, speaking on things that Sam shouldn't even know. "Sam?"
His voice jarred Sam out of his thoughts. The hunter blinked a few times to clear his eyes and then he looked down at Gabriel. Whatever he saw seemed to surprise him. Sam furrowed his brows, his eyes clearing of that distant look, and whatever had been going on before was gone now. It was just Sam there, watching him with concern. "Loki?"
The sound of his other name on Sam's lips jarred him. For a moment there Gabriel had half expected to hear Sam call him Gabriel. He'd expected Raziel's voice, his grace, and seeing only Sam there was enough to snap Gabriel back to the present. Grief swelled up in the archangel. He'd been doing so good at keeping the grief away but now he couldn't stop it. It filled him until his grace was screaming with it.
Gabriel did the only thing that he could do. Without a word, without any of his usual grins or eyebrow wiggling or even his customary snap, he vanished.
