In a half-conscious state, Tino noticed that he was surrounded by warmth- and very comfortable warmth, at that. He also smelled something nice; something sweet and a little musky. He felt humid breath on his cheek and sensed a few strands of soft hair on his shoulder.
He also felt something…uncomfortable on his leg.
Like a trigger, everything flooded back to the blond as a headache began to thrum inside his head. Drinking too much "rum and Coke," making out in an elevator, and succumbing to exhaustion in the shower. His eyes snapped open, almost unwillingly; Alexianos was still asleep, and his arms were draped about Tino's waist.
Horrified, Tino looked underneath the covers and noticed that his towel had unraveled during the night. He and Alexianos were completely naked, and he felt his stomach turn.
Still, he was thankful to have enough memory to remember that they hadn't gone farther than first base the night before. This was a huge relief- even though he was intoxicated, too, Tino wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if he slept with a drunk person. Especially if said drunk person were the person that he cared about so, so much. However, he quickly reasoned that the both of them were so wasted the night before that holding an erection long enough for penetration would be nearly impossible- thankfully, they wouldn't have been able to sleep together. Well, not like that, anyhow.
Tino had two options. He could fall back asleep and pretend for a while longer that this hadn't happened- that he hadn't almost slept with his best friend while they both were drunk; or, he could be a man and wake Alexianos up so that they could get over this sooner. He decided to do the latter.
"Oh my God," he breathed, successfully waking up the black-haired man. Alexianos' dark eyes probed Tino's fair ones, alarmed, as he woke. His mouth opened slightly in horror, and he glanced underneath the comforter.
"I…" His face heated with embarrassment, and it quickly took on an expression of recognition as he recounted the details of the night before.
"Oh my God is right," he sighed, drawing away from Tino, "I am so sorry, Tino. I- I was drunk, but that doesn't excuse what happened."
"No, I understand. It was my fault, too. I'm really sorry about this, but I really hope you won't hold it against me."
"Oh gosh, no! Of course not! Tino, please don't feel bad about this. I just hope we can put it behind us."
Tino forced himself to smile. "It's already forgotten."
…
"So…" Alexianos stared at the road ahead of him, trying desperately to break the uncomfortable silence that feel between Tino and him. He still felt incredibly ashamed, but he was glad that Tino had already forgiven him.
"Um, I mean this before, uh, all that happened, but I really enjoyed yesterday with you."
In spite of himself, Alex smiled. "I'm glad you did. It was really fun to have you as my boyfriend for the day." He glanced over at Tino, only to find himself left breathless by the tender way with which the Finn looked at him.
"I-I, um…" Alexianos turned back to the road, his thought left incomplete.
"That was nice," Tino agreed softly, glancing out his passenger's window. His brows creased in frustrated thought for a moment before smoothing out again. "Very nice…"
The two rode back to Carpintaria with scarcely any more words spoken.
…
"Hey!" Mathias greeted, running out from the porch of the villa to greet Alex and Tino, "You two finally made it! You'll never guess what happened."
Alexianos smiled wearily. "You and Berwald got married in Vegas?" He teased.
"Eh, close enough. Sve and I are going out!"
"Congratulations!" Tino offered, trying to sound upbeat. In reality, he wanted to hit himself on the head repeatedly from shame and embarrassment.
"Thanks, you guys. I've missed you both! Tell me and Sve how your vacation went."
Tino and Alexianos exchanged a look.
"It was…nice," Tino claimed, smiling for effect.
"Very nice," Alexianos added quietly.
Mathias glanced at the two, trying to hide the concern on his face. He would have to ask Alexianos what happened at a later time.
"Well, you two must be tired from the long trip! Let me bring in your luggage. You two should go to your rooms to nap."
"A nap sounds good," Tino confessed, covering his mouth as he yawned. "See you guys in a bit."
"Sure," Mathias smiled at the Finn, who entered the villa with shuffling feet. He then turned to Alexianos.
"Alex, what happened? Are you two mad at each other or something?"
"No- no, it's not that, it's just…something really embarrassing happened. Tino wouldn't want me to tell you, and I'd rather not talk about it, either…"
Mathias' eyes widened. "Did you guys sleep together?"
"No! Well…no, we didn't. We'll be okay, but thank you for your concern. I just…I fucked up, Math."
The Dane gestured to a porch swing, and the two men sat on it while watching the crimson sun sink below its rose sky.
"You love him, don't you?" Mathias' tone was incredibly understanding and soft- Alexianos never knew his friend could take matters so seriously.
"Like nothing else." Alexianos laughed bitterly. "And I ruined it all. We had such a wonderful time, and then…I feel awful to even think of what happened."
"I'm sure it's not your fault."
"It partly is," Alexianos sighed. "I really appreciate you listening, Mathias. I don't want to bring you down, especially when you have such good news. Tell me what happened with you and Berwald."
"I will, later," Mathias smiled. "You need a nap first, and I want Berwald to tell you guys, too. But hey, Alex? Don't give up. If you love Tino, then your mistake won't matter. It really won't. You two care about each other a lot, and Tino is pragmatic about things like this. He'd understand. He probably likes you, too."
Alexianos struggled to appear happy as his companion said this. "Thanks, man. We'll figure it out…some sleep would be helpful, though."
"You look really hung-over. Get some soda water from the fridge."
"Will do."
Mathias sighed as the Armenian man left him to enter the villa. He'd had such high hopes for the two, and he wondered what could have come between them like that. It more than likely had to do with the fact that they were drinking the night before, Math deduced, though he wasn't sure of anything else. It couldn't have been a physical fight- that wasn't in either Tino's or Alexianos' nature. He highly doubted they had gotten in an argument, either- the two got along like popcorn and butter. So, that left one obvious possibility:
They'd had some sort of drunken romance.
Alexianos' claim that he and Tino hadn't had sex was probably true- Alex was one of the most honest people that Mathias knew. Still, Mathias realized that Alexianos would readily lie to protect Tino, and they very well could have had sex. If they hadn't, they'd at least done something while drunk; they'd at least gotten to first base. And he reasoned that both of them had to be drunk, as they were too honest to knowingly manipulate incapacitated people.
Mathias barely noticed Berwald join him on the swinging bench, so engrossed was he in his thoughts. The Swede glanced at him curiously, but he seemed to understand.
"I couldn't get anythin' out of Tino, either," he finally offered, his feet pushing off the ground to further speed up the bench's pendulum course.
"You could tell, too, huh?"
"Yeah. Alex looks ser'sly distraught."
The Dane frowned. "You know he loves Tino."
"And y' know Tino loves him."
Mathias nodded solemnly, but then smacked his palm on the arm-rest beside himself and grinned.
"Hm?" Berwald restrained a chuckle. He knew what Mathias was about to say, and he was admittedly on board with the idea.
"We've gotta help them! We'll be like Sebastian in The Little Mermaid!"
The Swede laughed heartily. "Tha's a good simile for it. Sure. What'ya have in mind?"
"Well…"
…
Tino's head ached with a torturous headache. He couldn't help but recount all the events that occurred yesterday-both good and bad- over and over again in his mind, ruminating to the point of insanity. He clutched his forehead and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. He really needed to calm down. Guilt clutched his chest- technically, neither of them were in a state to consent, but they were both just so out of it! They didn't understand what was going on, because if they did, they certainly wouldn't have tried to sleep with each other…
Alexianos, in his own room, felt just as miserable. He tried everything to get his mind off the happiness that he'd experienced the day before and the sorrow that he experienced then. He felt as though there were a cloud suspended over his head- he hadn't ever felt so gloomy in his life.
Sighing, he managed to stand up from his bed and comb his hair. As he looked in the mirror, he forced himself to smile. How strange, it seemed, that his reflection couldn't return the gesture.
…
"So, Berwald and I made dinner!" Mathias cheered, placing a dish full of salmon fillets on a birchwood table, next to a steaming pile of mashed sweet potatoes.
"It looks wonderful," Alexianos offered, smiling half-heartedly.
"It does," Tino agreed listlessly, "Thanks, you guys."
Berwald and Mathias exchanged a glance before the two sat down. The four men dished up their dinners and ate in silence for a moment that lasted, in Mathias' opinion, far too long. Berwald felt the need to break the quiet.
"Le's play a game!" The Swede suggested with an unusual degree of enthusiasm.
"Great idea!" Mathias agreed, speaking in a way that seemed rather scripted to Tino and Alex's ears. "Whatever shall we do?"
"Confessions! In confessions, y' have to confess somethin' t' someone, and the other person has t' try an' be understandin'."
"That sounds great! Let's go first. Berwald," Mathias turned to his boyfriend, "I have to confess to you- you know you were looking all over the apartment for your French cologne a few years ago? I hated the way it smelled, so I threw it away and put seventy dollars in your wallet. It was well worth it. Now it's your turn!"
"Wait, ser'sly?" Berwald laughed. "I paid five dollars for t'at cologne, Mathias."
"Like I said, well worth it."
"Okay…a confession, hm? Uh, y' know how I got an A in physics? I was able t' get extra help b'cause I bribed the TA."
"Ah, isn't this just cleansing?" Mathias grinned. "Alex, you and me next."
"I, um…" Alexianos blushed and cleared his throat. "Okay…"
"Okay! Alex, you know how you used to have that pet goldfish?I accidently knocked over its bowl once, and it died. I told you that there was an earthquake."
Despite himself, Alex smiled. "That's terrible, Mathias!" He teased.
"I do feel bad for the goldfish. Have you done anything you want to confess to me? Or to anybody else? I don't know, maybe Tino?"
Alexianos glanced quizzically at Mathias. "I once accidentally brushed my teeth with your toothbrush."
"Tino!" Berwald turned to the Finn. "Surely y' have somethin' ya wanna tell one 'f us."
"Uh…"
"Like, while w' were datin', I used to eat yer food from th' fridge."
Tino chuckled. "So did I."
"Anybody else you have something to tell, Tino?" Mathias prodded, smiling encouragingly. Tino raised an eyebrow, trying to check his annoyance. Why were they doing this to him, today of all days? Perhaps they had good intentions, but this only made things much more awkward.
"Um, Alex…"
Berwald and Mathias smiled at one-another.
"I once tried khash and I threw up from it. How do you eat that stuff?"
Alexianos chuckled. "Likewise, I can't stomach salmiakki."
"That's it?" Mathias demanded, gazing at the two with wide eyes.
Tino frowned, fed-up. "Please excuse me, guys, but I don't feel so well. I think I'm going to go for a walk."
"Let me join you," Alexianos rose to stand, meeting Tino's gaze with eyes that showed his desperation to escape the uncomfortable situation. "Please."
Tino nodded. "Sure. We'll see you guys in a bit."
The two friends entered the violet air outdoors, thankful for the respite. Tino set the pace, walking as quickly as he could. Alexianos kept up with him, glancing around and waiting for Tino to speak.
"I am so confused right now," the blond finally confessed, letting out a heavy sigh.
"So am I."
"No, Alex, it's just…I mean, do you really not know?"
"Not know what?" Alex stopped in his tracks, devoting all of his attention to Tino.
Tino shook his head. "It's nothing…sorry, I'm a bit tense right now."
"I understand."
The two continued down the stretch of sand, willing the rush of waves to soothe their minds and erase bothersome thoughts.
"I'm so, so sorry, Tino. I honestly was so out of it; if I were in a state to understand, I never would have…" Alex trailed off, nearly choking on his words. He was a few seconds away from tearing up, as he felt horrible for the whole ordeal.
"It's okay," Tino promised, "Really, Alex. I know you. I know what you're like. And I did the same. The both of us weren't meaning anything sinister. It's okay…" He patted Alexianos' arm, trying desperately to comfort the other, who looked as though would cry at any moment. "I know what you're worrying about. You didn't rape me, and vice versa; the both of us both consented, and we both acknowledged that we were drunk. We weren't in a state to understand."
Alexianos shook his head, unable to console himself fully. "You're right about that, but that's not the only thing that's troubling me. Tino, you would hate me if I told you what was on my mind..."
Now Tino stopped. "I'd never hate you, Alex. Please don't think that…What's wrong?"
The Armenian breathed deeply to steady his nerves. "I'm completely in love with you." He was terrified to meet Tino's gaze, and yet still he held it, hopeful for the same reply.
Tino was caught completely by surprise, as evidenced by how his lavender eyes widened and his pupils dilated. "I-…Alex," he took his friend by the hand, a small smile revealing itself across his features, "I'm in love with you, too."
The other laughed incredulously, beaming. "I'm so glad- Wow, I…I seriously don't know why I've kept this hidden."
"I've loved you for four years," Tino confessed, laughing as well. "I mean- Oh my God, Alex, you're my favorite person in the entire world. There's nobody I'd rather be around."
"I feel the same way about you!" Alex's dark eyes danced with mirth, and he enveloped Tino in a hug. The other returned the embrace with unparalleled enthusiasm, still a bit bewildered that Alexianos loved him.
"For two smart people, we really are stupid," Tino teased, kissing Alex's cheek.
"And for two stupid people, we really are lucky," Alex agreed, lacing his fingers with Tino's.
Overhead, a constellation of bright, hot rocks burning millions of miles away shone. At eye level, two men smiled brilliantly and commented on how lovely the stars looked.
A/N: I finally finished this! Yay! :D I hope you guys have enjoyed- please leave a review if you have!
