Chapter 7

"Bill because Eric is a total ass hole" Char said in response to my question about true blood.

"No Way!" I exclaimed "Bill is too soft Eric is tough and oh so sexy" I said eating a handful of popcorn. "I would so let him lock me in his basement for weeks… but only if he went in there with me"

"God, you're such a whore" Char said jokingly.

"What Ever bitch" I replied throwing popcorn at her.

"Slut" She muttered.

"Fang Banger" I said causing us to break out laughing.

"P-Peter Doesn't have fangs so how am I a fang banger Mrs. Northman"

"Well Mrs. Compton Bill does so you" I poked her chest "Are a Fang Banger"

"Says the girl who wants to be locked up in the area 5's sheriffs Dungeon"

"It's not as much of a dungeon in my mind; it's more of a basement of solitude"

"Why do you like him so much?"

"He has sexy long blond hair, he's ruthless, and powerful enough to rule the vampire world… that's my kind of vampire"

"And Bill is sweet kind and protective"

"Who is Bill and where can I find him to kill him" Peter said announcing his presence.

"Bon Temps Louisiana" I said with a serious face.

"Ok, by the way who is blond, ruthless, and powerful enough to rule the vampire world" Peter said imitating me. "You sound like you're describing Caius Volturi" he finished making me spit chewed up popcorn.

"Ew" I said disgusted by the thought.

"Alex and Caius sittin' in a tree f-u-c-k-i-n-g, first comes love then comes marriage then comes the witch twins in a baby carriage" Chars sung like a first grader.

"Shut up!" I screech pushing the bowl of popcorn away from me, I was no longer hungry. "If you guys were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now."

"I thought it was hilarious, especially the part when you turned a greenish color" Jasper said from the door way.

Ever since the small confutation in my room two weeks ago jasper seemed to be on edge. He was quieter than usual, more closed to the world.

Oddly enough my knowledge of the vampire world has made my friendship with Char grow and my friendship with Gary strained. I hadn't heard from him in days, I was worried he was still mad about me kicking him out.

"It was not funny… it's gross"

"You know they say what we want most is what we run from" Peter said

"Damn I really must want that gigantic spider I saw yesterday"

"Not as much as you want Caius's hot meat injection" Char said making my jaw drop. That's had to be the most disgusting sentence I had ever heard

"Wait" I said before I could stop myself "He's a vampire wouldn't it be cold"

Char was laughing so hard if she was human she would have passed out. Peters face was frozen from a mixture of shock and disgust, as was Jaspers.

"Do you think about that often Alex?" Char asked still giggling

"Please just drop it before I passed out because all my blood is flowing to my face"

"Fine, your no fun though" she said "What do we do now, are you hungry because I could cook"

"No thank you, I don't think I will ever be hungry again" I said "Maybe we could play a game?"

"Like a board game because Peter always wins those" she pause before nearly shouting "truth or Dare that would be fun"

I shook my head 'no' there was no way in hell I was playing that with her she would dare me to climb a pine tree buck naked or call and ask pizza hut if they knew where a dildo store was.

"Fine we'll play spin the bottle"

"Did I ever tell you I love truth or dare?"

"I thought so" She said smugly "Jasper get your Anti-Social ass over here so we can play."

Jasper reluctantly walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Since it was my idea I will go first" Char said "Alex truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Why did you pick truth?"

"Because I'm not a fan of naked pine tree climbing" I said "My turn, Peter truth or dare"

"Dare"

I sat for a moment thinking before I got the best idea ever.

"I dare you to drink a bottle of hot sauce"

"No"

"You have too"

"No, give me another dare"

"Fine, I dare you to kiss jasper for one minute on the lips"

"No"

"Fine then drink the hot sauce"

"No! That shit tastes like spicy dog shit."

"Jasper or hot sauce… your pick"

"Sorry Jasper" Peter said grabbing the back of jaspers neck and crash their lips together.

Jasper sat unmoving his back as stiff and a board.

"It might make it better if you imagine each other as a woman you like"

Jaspers spine relaxed slightly as did Peter's facial expression. Exactly one minute later Jasper pushed Peter away. Peter turned and glared at me with a look that told me he was going to get me back.

"Truth or Dare Jasper" Peter asked.

"Dare"

"I dare you to kiss Alex"

"With tongue" Char added

"No"

"I could dare worse" Peter said Waggling his eyebrows.

In a flash jasper had lifted me to his lap and sat me down so I was facing him. He slowly brought his face to mine but stopped so I moved up the last half-inch so our lips could touch. Softly. Lovingly. We breathed our souls and our feeling into each other in that kiss. That kiss; hard, but soft; fiery but cool; a split second but also forever. In that one kiss, I then knew what was behind that hard exterior, and it made my want for him grow even more. His scent was sweet and rugged at the same time; a fine mixture of honeysuckle and leather with a small hint of cinnamon. In this moment for a reason I'm not sure my heart felt whole, like the last few years never happened; like Alex never needed to exist and I was just Bella again. That might be the reason I didn't notice that the minute was up until Peter cleared his throat.

"I told ya to kiss not make a baby"

"Peter you should know I'm nothing if not thorough" Jasper said surprising me; I had never heard him joke. "Peter Truth er Dare"

"Truth"

"Why didn't you drink the hot sauce?"

"I don't like spicy things" he said with a shrug. ''Alex truth or dare"

I decided to be brave.

"Dare"

"I dare you to prank call Caius Volturi and say what I write"

"No, I don't want to"

"I didn't want to kiss jasper but you made me do that"

"No"

"Ok then I dare you to give jasper a –"

"What's the fucking number?"

Peter gave me the numbers and I nervously dialed the number. It rang ten times before a harsh voice answered.

"Speak" A deep male Voice commanded.

I read Peters words and repeated them into the phone in a horrible British accent.

"Caius baby, what has you in such a foul mood?"

"Athendora?"

"Who else my love" Peter wrote for me to just go with it.

"I miss you love, are you sure you must spend the year in Brazil"

"Why of course I am Caius; Aro's madness gets tiring eventually"

"I understand, but who is to warm my bed in your absence"

Peter wrote something that shocked me but I read it word for word while he tried not to laugh.

"I'm not sure lover but maybe I can help over the phone?"

"How, I cannot feel you through this blasted contraption!"

"Trading photographs, I believe the humans call it sexting"

"How does this sexting work love?"

"Simple you send me a photograph of your alluring body and I send one of mine then we send each other steamy text messages, oh Caius doesn't that sound so fun!"

"I do not know how to work this telephone to make it take photographs"

"Ask Jane dear she should be able to help you she likes to keep up with modern technology"

"What should I ask her?"

"Ask her how to use the video camera"

"Video camera what does that do?"

"It allows you to take moving pictures"

"Alright I shall call you once I have sent it."

"One last thing lover" I paused "Call you sing to me in the video?"

"What song my love?"

"The only modern song you know, lover"

"Alright, I love you"

"I love you too Caius"

I pressed the end button and let out a cry of relief.

"Wow you are a good actor Alex" Char commented.

"You have no idea, by the way I fucking hate you Peter"

"Hey I didn't tell you to say you were Athendora I said just go with it, the part when you said you were his wife was all on you"

"What was I suppose to say, Hi I'm Alex Storm and I'm calling you because my friends are pale assholes"

"Yes you could have said that but you went the other route"

"Fuck you"

"You just want vampire love-in today don't you?"

"God do you have to be a pervert twenty-four seven? You know I could sue you for sexual harassment Mr. Boss man"

"Don't flatter yourself sweet heart I'm just a flirty man by nature"

"And I'm a bitch by nature but I'm nice sometimes"

"Only on days that don't end in y."

"Ha-Ha"

The phone in my hand buzzed letting me know it had a new message. I opened the text and laughed at its contents. A video labeled 'Enjoy' and inside was a five-minute video of a very naked Caius dancing 'sexily' while singing 'don't stop me now by Queen'. I was stuck between laughter and vomit as I watched with sick fascination.

"He's so" I pause looking for the right word. "Pale"

"Out of everything going on in the video you noticed his paleness? Not his singing or I don't know the fact that he's naked"

"He has a surprisingly nice body" Char said causing me to stare at her "Oh don't you look at me like that you were thinking the same thing sug'"

"Actually I was thinking about becoming a lesbian so I never have to see something like this again" I pointed to the naked video the cruelest Volturi king humping the air.

"Come on Alex you don't find that even a bit attractive"

"He's to… pretty; I don't know I prefer manlier men not pretty boys"

Peter had shit-eating grin as he crush the phone that the video was playing on with his bare hands.

"What did you do?" Char asked.

"You'll see"

"You push me back

I push you back

Harder, harder

You scream at me

I scream at you Louder,

L-L-L-L-Louder"

I open my cell phone and almost dropped it because the video was playing.

"Why did you send me this?"

"I sent it to a lot more than just you….try every contact from your phone, jaspers, mine, chars, and Carlisle's"

"WHAT! Peter my boss is in my contacts! The owner of E! News is in my contacts! Justin Fucking Timberlake is in my contacts! Do you know what you have done! That video will be everywhere by tomorrow Peter"

"So?"

"What if it's tracked back to us! The Volturi will kill us!"

"The phone was a burn phone completely untraceable, unless one of us tells people about it no one will ever know it was us."

"When the dark
of the night comes around.
That's the time,
That the animal comes alive
Looking for
something wild"

"What!" I yelled into my phone.

"Damn bitch you PSMing or some shit?"

"Shit Gary I'm just on edge right now"

"I just wanted to check if you where ok and ask if you got a really odd video today?"

"Let me guess naked singing guy?"

"Yea, so I take it you got it?"

"Every A list singer has gotten it"

"Doesn't that guy in the video look like a pale older version of James Sheehan Bell?"

"Please don't put that image in my head that guy is a total douche canoe"

"Honey you think any guy hits on you is a douche"

"He wasn't hitting on me he was groping me in the middle of the red carpet, I still read rumors that we're secretly dating"

"Honey I can't blame the guy you make me wish I was straight sometimes, Alex you're hot you've been compared to a human goddess"

"When someone grabs your junk in the middle of public tell me your opinion but until we are dropping this subject"

"Fine you get your way for now"

"So… how is Jesse?"

Jesse was Gary's boyfriend and my head security guard.

"Bored apparently his boss when off the map so he has no one to guard"

"How sad, she sounds like a total bitch anyway"

"She is and a total slut"

"Damn what a fang-banging whore"

"Yea and she doesn't even except my dips on Eric Northman"

"He's yours I don't even want him anymore, I'll settle for Godric"

"Good now I got Lafayette and Eric"

"I got Godric and Colin"

"What ever, I got what I want"

"Actually I want Jason and Sam"

"But there not even vampires"

"Vampires are so last season"

"Says the girl who making an entire album about them"

"Hey there are some songs about werewolves on there to and in my defense I was drunk when I sent those lyrics in to Veronica"

"You? Drunk? What happened to your prudish non-drinking ways?"

"Life, shit happens"

"Damn he must have been very sexy to get you to drink anything stronger than coke"

"What?"

"The guy who bought you the liqueur"

"I'd say fuck you but every gay guy in Hollywood has"

"You're just mad because I get more men than you"

"I don't want a man"

"So you want a woman?"

"Oh hell yes Gary I want Char so badly"

"She does have nice tits"

"Really Gary Really"

"Hey even gay guys like tits"

"Oh my god what ever Gary you're so fucking weird"

"And you love me for it, shit Lexi I got to go can you call me tomorrow night?"

"Sure Love you bitch"

"Love you too slut"

I laughed as I hung up the phone, if Char and Gary were anymore alike I would be scared.

So far my life was going good again, but in my years I've learned nothing good lasts; at least for Bella Swan.


THE END

Of this Chapter

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