"Sara …Sara, I love you, but if you keep doing that with your foot, they are going to have to extend my stay here." I Informed her.

Sara pulled her head out the fog, her eyes open wide in shock.

"You … you what?", she stammered.

"You heard me, Sara , Celia is gone now, but I feel like I lost you along time ago, and I have not Idea why It feels like at some point you just decided I was your enemy". Want to talk about it?" I ask.

She sat there, staring at me in shock, not uttering a single word.

"Look, you know I don't do this often, and this is a one shot deal. You got something to say to me Sara, something you want to ask me, now is your chance", I told her.

Still, she sat there in silence, I could see anger bubbling up in her eyes. Finally some emotion, I thought to myself.

I let out a loud grunt of frustration, "Why did you even come here if are going to be like this?", I ask. That got her attention, she launched herself out of the chair and stood over me, giving her best death stare.

"Because once again I get punished for your mess! Carlos screws up and Sara is called in to see about it. Now, I have to go home tell Ma`ma and Papi you look like a wild animal, and not their son. I have to be the one to break their heart and dry their tears", She said in a tight voice with nostrils flaring.

" Tell them I am fine Sara, why would you want to worry them? You are over reacting", I said in an attempt to calm my older sister.

"Overreacting! , she said. voice rising. You almost killed a police officer, took down half a swat team, and had a ….."

She let her sentence drop, and I finished it for her. "Emotional break?" Just a small one," I joked.

"Not funny Carlos," she growled. You look frightening, wild …. Like,…like …."

She exhaled a few times. "So you want me to lie to our parents. You know I hate doing that Carlos".

"More than hurting them, more than seeing them upset?" I countered.

She sat back down in the chair resigned.

"Sara do I scare you, is that the reason for the distance between you and me ?", I asked cautiously.

"Hell yeah, Carlos you are a scary guy!" she spat out.

"Since when?" I asked. She did not answer.

"Let's start with that night in the park when .., you saw, what you saw?" I inquired.

I noticed Sara start to tremble, as shock gripped her.

"Yeah, I saw your car pull into the lot, I kept hoping you would leave before you saw too much of what I had to do, I explained. Do you realize how loud the screaming coming from that car was? I was so afraid, there was not telling what would have happened if,… …. I Just wanted my two sisters to get home safely that night. The only thing I could do to protect both of you was to chase you away before anyone recognized you two or the car," I added.

"Had TO DO, HAD TO! It was a choice Carlos, to join, to do what you did that night, all of it. You chose that life! ", Sara raged.

"No, I didn't Sara, I wanted parties, girls, and sports. I did not choose that gang, they chose me".

"What do you mean they chose you, our parents kept us away from people like that, so how did you get involved with them?", She questioned.

" Let 's just say, a serious matter came up, and someone I love needed help out of bad situation, they did not even know they were in. To fix the problem, I needed the Latin kings help, to get their help I had to get jumped in", I told her, giving as few details as possible.

"And what happened that night, you did what you did ?", She asked.

"I don't want to go into details, but trust me, Sara, sometimes in life when people are coming for you, or the ones you love, there is only one way to put a stop to it."

She looked at me through narrowed, "Did you kill him too Javier? ", She hissed at me.

I could not believe that she would ask me this, what kind of person did she think I was?

"NO, Sara, NO! I would never do that to you. I saw how you looked at him, I know you loved him!" , I half yelled at her.

"I don't believe you, she said. You're not telling me the truth, I want to know why he left, what did you do?", She accused angrily.

"I'll admit, I had words with him the last time he was at our house, but he left on his own", I told Sara.

"About what Carlos ?" , Sara snapped.

"You don't want to know Sara, those memories you have of that relationship are pure, and I don't want to do anything to …."

"You can't Carlos, he was great, our relationship was great, what did you say to him and why?" Sara demanded.

"He had something to make right, and I strongly suggested he do it quickly before he got hurt," I told Sara.

"Was he cheating ?", she asks timidly.

"Not on you."

"What is that supposed to mean," she said.

"Sara stop, some things are better left in the past," I warned.

"I want to know. I mean it Carlos ", She insisted.

"Sit down, and I will tell you Sara", I told her quietly.

She folded herself in the chair.

"Rich boy was a trafficker," I said gently.

"A what ?", she asked.

"He was moving weight all up and down the east coast Sara" She stared at me cluelessly "He was supplying drugs to dealers," I informed Sara.

"You're lying, he had no reason to do that, his parents had money!", she exclaimed.

"Sometimes the country club gets boring, and rich boys crave a little street credit. Then the money and power become addictive," I explained.

"When, would he have had time to do this, I spent a lot of time with him, and never saw anything," She denied.

"Sara, he was doing it directly behind your back. Every road trip you made was a delivery. While the two of you were watching a play, or lounging on the beach. Someone was at his car removing the stash. Those nights when he went MIA, he was on the road moving a shipment," I told her.

"Is that why you ran him off she asked?" What did you say to him?", she said quietly.

"I did not run him away, that's not what I wanted. My intentions were to get him to make right his wrongs. Javier had gotten cocky, started skimming off the top, and not delivering the amount people paid for. He also started crossing into other people's territory. I told him he needed to make it right and stay in his own lane. If he kept playing fast and dangerous, there were some people looking for him, and they wanted to do more than talk," I said to Sara.

"What else did you tell him, did you tell him not to be with me?", Sara asked sadly.

"NO, I told him that he was better than what he was doing, you deserved better. I let him know that if he planned to keep running his business, he need to do it without you sitting next to him in the car. I said he was putting your safety and future at risk, and I did not like it. Sara, I was never your enemy, I liked seeing you happy," I exhaled.

She sat quietly for a long time, and then looked up at me and said, "oh".

"Carlos, how long are they going to keep you here ?" , she asked.

"That depends on me, I could go back to prison, or I could do another mission for the government", I said flatly.

"I don't understand", She said.

"As soon as they know for sure that I can be trusted not to blow up innocent civilians, and follow orders they will release me for another classified mission. If I choose to participate, when I come back, that mess over in the UK has nothing to do with me, it never happened. I get to walk back into my life, whatever that is. If not, then it's back to the state pen", I told Sara.

"So when and how long do you think it will be before you are fit for the mission?" Sara asked nervously.

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going."

"What do you mean?" You would rather go back to prison?" she shrieked in an alarmed voice.

"Look, Sara , I don't expect you to understand, but my heart is just not in it anymore. After the mission, what do I have to come home to. Tank and Bobby are gone. Lester and I, well that's complicated. Babe is hiding from me and she took Angel with her. I seriously doubt Rachel is going to let me spend any more time with Julie. I am never going to hear Ci - Ci laugh again. Damn, I miss that girl," I said feeling my throat tighten. "There is nothing left for me, no reason to fight to stay alive while I am out there to make it back. If I were to go, I am afraid this could turn in to a suicide mission", I explained.

I watched hear eyes, I could see her brain moving, gears in motion trying to find something to say. When she could not, she grabbed my hand and held tight, then kissed it. We sat there for awhile like that , and then I ask her a question.

"Sara, do me a favor, when you get back home, go have some fun doing do something new. Something wild, dance barefoot in the rain or skinny dip".

She looked at me and did something she rarely did. She laughed a full out belly laugh. It was beautiful, not quite as beautiful as Celia laugh, but still music to my ears.

I reached out and pushed a lock of hair from her eyes. Looking intensely into her eyes I said: " Sara you have never and will never, have a reason to be afraid of me, I love you and there is nothing on earth I won't do to protect the people I love." I press a kiss onto her cheeks and rested my head on hers.

The door opened and a uniformed officer stepped in, "times up ma'am", he announced. She let go of my hand, said goodbye, and walked out of the room.

The entire trip back to the tarmac Sara's brain was on overload trying to process the things her younger brother had told her. She thought about the I love you part, him telling her he had nothing, and no one to come home to. Most of all she thought about how she had never seen her brother so vulnerable before. Then she remembers what he had said about getting someone out of trouble he loved, at first, she thought meant Celia. Celia always new when she was in trouble, she was street smart, unlike Sara. Then, the weight of his word took hold, "sometimes in life when people are coming for you or the ones you love, there is only one way to put a stop to it." The person he was talking about was her, Carlos had joined a gang to protect her. Had he also killed for her? Sara stepped out of the jeep and walked toward the plane. Her legs suddenly stopped supporting her body and she went down to the pavement in a heap. She made no attempt to get up as her body was consumed by uncontrollable sobs.