Blaise's theme song then plays as he appears on stage with a big grin on his face. "Hello viewers and welcome to the sixth episode of 'Pick Your Poison!'. Now, you may be wondering why I look so happy and before you ask, no, I did not just beat Sebastian into a bloody pulp; I did that right after the last episode ended, y'see. No, the reason that I'm so happy is that while I had to remove Grizzle from Wocky's cell, I found a much better replacement for him, y'know…"

Meanwhile in Wocky's holding cell, Wocky is sitting in a chair, with his arms and legs restrained so he can't move, while Jean Armstrong styles Wocky's hair into a more feminine look.

"I'd rather take the gay-ass bear than this creep, fo shizzle. At least Grizzle didn't put some smelly-ass crap in my hair!" Wocky grumbles as Jean rubs some spearmint/honeydew moisturizer in the boy's hair, to which he responds to by trying to jerk his head away.

Jean firmly grabs Wocky's chin with his large, muscular hands to keep him from moving. "Nonsense, monsieur; you're 'air, she is sad like un chien with la mange! When I am through with you, you will have la 'air that brings all les boys to le yard!" Jean says while wiggling his torso from side-to-side.

"Damn! You makin' Grizzle look butch. Now listen here, I don't want no boys in my yard, cause Wocky Kitaki don't roll that way. I'm gangster!" Wocky snaps as he attempt to bite Jean's arm.

Blaise then snaps his fingers, which causes Meekins to rush onstage with the jar of notes, place it on its normal table, and scurry offstage.

"Without further ado, let's get this stated." Blaise reaches into the jar and pulls out a note. "Apparently, thepudz would like to see Apollo live a healthier lifestyle… Let the punishment commence."

Blaise then turns on a screen which shows Apollo resting on the Anything Agency's couch while eating a bag of potato chips and reading a comic from the Funny Pages.

"Oh Fillmore, if only you knew what my Mondays are like…" Apollo chuckles to himself as he eats another chip.

Suddenly, Athena, who is wearing a bright yellow tracksuit, bursts into the office with an energetic grin on her face.

Apollo, who is too lethargic to sit up, tilts his head in Athena's direction. "Hey, Athena… Don't you have any colors other than yellow in your wardrobe?" Apollo playfully muses, still giddy from reading his favorite comic, 'Fillmore'.

"I can't help it that I like yellow, Apollo. It's my favorite color and when I run around in my tracksuit, I like to pretend that I'm a sentient lightning bolt! Like this…"

Athena then proceeds to quickly run around the office while constantly yelling 'Zing!' at the top of her lungs.

Apollo, who is trying to enjoy one of his few breaks, but hearing Athena's obnoxiously grating screams makes his hands tremble with irritation, his brow furrowing as he tries to focus on his comic. After three two minutes of this, Apollo throws his newspaper onto his lap and glares at Athena while still lying on the couch.

"Do you mind!?" Apollo utters through closed teeth as he tries to contain his anger.

Athena then immediately stops. "Sorry Apollo, it's just that when I finish my morning jog, I feel like I'm going to explode with energy!"

"Well if you're going to explode, then just get it over with so I can get back to my comic strip." Apollo grumbles as he goes back to reading his comic. "Oh Fillmore, how you try to ship that annoying Manel off to Amman never ceases to make me laugh!" Apollo chuckles to himself.

Athena stomps her foot and glares at Apollo with fury in her eyes. "Laugh it up while you can, Apollo, because while you're sitting on this couch growing man boobs, I'm working out and getting a rockin' bod!"

Upon hearing this attack on his lifestyle, Apollo calmly puts his newspaper down on the nearby coffee table and gives Athena a stern look. "First off, they're not man boobs, they're love handles. Second, this is totally a viable exercise regime. By constantly reaching into this bag and eating chips, I am strengthening my wrist and jaw muscles and by constantly laughing at Fillmore's humorous anecdotes, I am improving my cardio."

"Apollo, if you're not going to take your health seriously, then I guess it's up to me!" Athena says with a smile while flashing a peace sign.

Apollo smirks and rolls his eyes. "And just how do you plan to that? Get me a gym membership? Well, sorry to break it to you, Athena, but if it didn't work when Trucy gave me one last Christmas, then it won't work now."

Athena diabolically laughs, much to Apollo's confusion. "It's nothing like that, Apollo. Basically, I'm going to give you an ultimatum: run for your life or die where you lay!" Athena fiendishly states as she pulls out a shotgun and aims it at Apollo.

Apollo recoils in shock. "You're insane!" Apollo yells while pointing a shaking finger at his deranged co-worker, who is giving him a sinister grin that rivals that of Kristoph and whose left eye is twitching.

Athena shakes her head. "No, Apollo. If I were insane, then I'd shoot you right here and now; but since I'm a woman of honor, I'm gonna to give you a ten second head start, staaarting… Now!" Athena points the muzzle of her gun at Apollo's large forehead.

"Y-You can't do this, Athena. Exercise doesn't work that way!"

"That may be, but you've already wasted three seconds and counting."

Apollo, realizing that Athena will actually kill him if he does nothing, jumps off of the couch and runs out of the office.

After seven seconds of waiting, Athena cocks her gun and takes a deep breath. "The hunt is on…"

In that time, Apollo has managed to reach the ground floor and exit the building as he pants and leans against the Anything Agency's front wall as he stops to catch his breath. "*huff...* *huff…* Athena was right… I really am out of shape. At least I have a few seconds to rest before she gets down-"

"There's no escape, Apollo!" Athena yells as she jumps through the office's front window and lands on her feet, unscathed, and creates a small crater in the road where she lands. Athena then proceeds to once again aim her shotgun at Apollo.

"Her-AAAAGGGGHHH!" Apollo screams as he bolts away from the building while Athena fires multiple shots at the red-cladded attorney, who constantly dodges by running in a zigzag formation.

Athena, always one who loves a good challenge, grins and punches the palm of her hand. "I guess Apollo won't be as easy as I thought. No matter, I don't he'll last long against the big guns!" Athena pulls out a Gatling gun and proceeds to chase after Apollo.

As Apollo runs down the sidewalk, he notices how there are no cars driving by or any other people in general vicinity, so he has no ne to turn to for protection from his psychotic, fitness-crazed coworker. This issue is compounded by the fact that his phone isn't working for some strange reason, so he can't even call the police. Fortunately, through the combination of his erratic, zigzag running and Athena's bad aim, he's been able to keep himself alive. Just as Apollo starts to feel confident about his chances of survival as he tries to call the police again, one of Athena's bullets actually hits his hand, causing him to drop his cellphone as a sharp, burning pain rushes through his entire body.

Realizing that he can't keep running with this pain in his hand, Apollo scurries into a nearby alley and hides in a trashcan. Soon after, Athena looks into the alley and activates the mood matrix in an attempt to find any signs of fear, and therefore Apollo. As Athena scans the area, she can find no traces of fear.

Athena turns off the mood matrix. "Weird, I could have sworn I heard someone's fear here. Guess I have to check the old fashion way…" Athena pulls out a dagger as she slowly searches the entirety of the alley, excluding the trashcan that Apollo is hiding in; in part that even Trucy wouldn't pick such an obvious hiding spot.

For once in his adult life, Apollo is grateful for Kristoph on account of his ex-mentor constantly teaching him how to suppress his emotions when the need arises, thus, as long as Apollo remains calm, Athena will never find him.

As Apollo leans back in the trashcan to catch his breath and celebrate his victory, he feels some warm, lumpy object underneath him that's constantly squirming. Out of discomfort, Apollo tries to push the object down in an attempt to get it to remain still. Unfortunately for him, the object is actually a disgruntled Victor Kudo, whose pants are around his waist and is holding a magazine, who rises up so that he is face-to-face with the young attorney.

"What the hell, kid? Can't a man tickle his pickle to the ladies section of the Sears Catalogue in peace!?" Victor yells at Apollo who screams and topples over the trashcan with a loud thud as he tries to get away from this old creep as fast as humanly possible.

Unfortunately for Apollo, Athena hears the commotion and resumes chasing after the terrified attorney who runs out the other side of the alley. Frantically looking around for where he should run off to next, Apollo notices a skateboard lying against a nearby wall. Even though he has never even touched a skateboard in his entire life, Apollo picks up the skateboard and proceeds to ride it downhill on a nearby street.

Seeing that her flabby, yet surprisingly agile, prey is escaping her, Athena pulls out a four barrel rocket launcher and fires four heat-seeking rockets after Apollo.

As Apollo races downhill, slowly getting used to riding a skateboards, he hears a soft high-pitched hum behind him getting progressively louder with each passing second. When Apollo turns around to see the source of the sound, his jaw drops at seeing four rockets speeding towards him. Apollo, knowing that those rockets are coming in too fast, has no chose but to dodge them.

Apollo barley dodges the first rocket by quickly lying on the board stomach-first on the skateboard while the projectile soars over his head, slightly clipping his iconic horns upon passing, and crashes in front of him. Apollo then jumps to his feet as he skillfully dodges the second and third missiles with a quick left and right turn respectively. For the final missile, Apollo manages to dodge it by pulling off an epic ollie, thus causing the rocket to crash and explode bellow his skateboard as he safely lands in front of it.

Since Athena hasn't been chasing him down the hill, Apollo feels that perhaps the worst of it is over, but like every other time he thought that in his life, it manages to get worse; for out of nowhere Apollo sees Athena aggressively speeding towards him in a Mack truck.

Athena squeezes the life out of the steering wheel as she glares daggers at her terrified prey. "No fair, Apollo! That's not a proper form of exercise!"

"Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!" Widget angrily chimes in.

"And an 18-wheeler is!?" Apollo complains as he skates even faster in an attempt to escape Athena.

Surprisingly enough, Apollo is actually able to stay ahead of Athena's truck, but unfortunately for him, his luck runs out when he encounters a sharp turn in front of a nearby building. When Apollo tries to clear the turn, he flies off of his skateboard and into the wall of the building in front of him. Apollo turns around in horror to see Athena speeding towards him even faster with a crazed smile on her face as Widget's monitor lights up bright green with the same evil smile that Clonco has whenever Aura shocks him.

Before the truck can crash into him, Apollo is blinded by a bright light and when he regains his vision, he is back in his holding cell.

Apollo, seeing how he is safe, sits down on the floor and takes a deep breath. Apollo's peace is short-lived, however, when Athena taps him on the shoulder; to which he responds to by screaming and running over to the other side of the cell.

"Get away from me!" Apollo yells, trembling as he points a shaky finger at his confused co-worker.

Athena slowly approaches him. "I'm only asking because you were talking and screaming to yourself in your sleep. You know, you'd sleep better if you did some exercise during the day."

"N-no, I'm fine!" Apollo quickly gets on the floor and starts doing pushups. "See? I'm exercising so that I can be healthy!"


The show then focuses back on Blaise. "As you can probably tell by my handsome physique, I work out on a pretty regular basis, y'know. My main form of exercise before my arrest was running away from Sebastian whenever he wanted to talk to me about his problems or when he wanted a hug." Blaise starts playing with his lighter. "After I was sentenced to prison, my regiment changed to swimming with my next-cell neighbor and childhood friend, Gant, to get him to shut him up. It's not pleasurable, but I can't wear my leather by just eating snack cakes all day, y'know. As much as I'd love to talk about myself, I have to keep the show moving, y'see."

Blaise then reaches into the jar and pulls out another note and upon reading it, pumps his fist and laughs. "Finally, I've been waiting so long to do this punishment, y'know. Y'see, a guest would like to see Sebastian be tried for his crimes… Let the punishment commence!"

Blaise then snaps his fingers, which transports him to the judge's bench in a courtroom, followed by two bailiffs, who are both him, transporting Sebastian, who is crying, to the defendant's chair where he is forcibly seated.

Sebastian gives Blaise a look of fear as tears well up in his eyes. "Pops, I'm scarred! Why am I here?" Sebastian bends his baton out of fear.

Blaise silences Sebastian by slamming his gavel. "The court is now in session for the trial of my idiot son, Sebastian. Is the prosecution, who is almost as handsome and intelligent as me, ready with their opening statement? Blaise directs his attention to the prosecutor's bench, which is being occupied by a slightly more muscular version of himself.

The muscular Blaise starts playing with his lighter. "The prosecution is ready, Your Honor. Y'see, the stupid, useless defendant is on trial for the crime of being criminally stupid. Though one only needs to take but a single glance at him to see that this is true, y'know."

"The court would like to commend the prosecution on such an eloquent opening statement, y'know. Is the defense ready with their opening statement?" Blaise directs his attention to the defense's bench, which is completely empty.

Sebastian takes a minute to nervously look around the room before he finally realizes his current predicament. "Pops, I don't have an attorney. It's almost like whoever farmed me for this crime rigged the trial against me!" Sebastian starts crying and sniffling.

Blaise slowly claps his hands with a deadpan expression on his face. "No, really? As the sadistic host of a show that specializes in punishing people, my main goal is to make your life as pleasurable as possible, y'know." Blaise says in an overtly sarcastic voice that any regular person would pick up, but unfortunately, Sebastian isn't one of those people.

Sebastian confidently points his baton at Blaise. "Exactly, Pops! That's why we have to go out there and bring this madman to justice before they twist the trial even more."

Blaise slaps his forehead and shakes his head. "I was being sarcastic, you little idiot! Of course this trial is rigged against you because a fan submitted it as a punishment. Hence, you're not going to get an attorney in this trial that will end in your utter humiliation, y'see!" Blaise yells as he clenches his lighter, causing a large flame to erupt from it.

"But that's not flair!" Sebastian whines.

Blaise starts pulling his beard and starts fake crying. "Well life isn't 'fair', y'know!" Blaise empties the tears from his goggles. "But I'm feeling generous today, so I'm going to give you the gift of allowing your fate to be determined by a trial of my peers." Blaise directs Sebastian's attention to the jury, which consists of 12 Blaises, all of whom are glowering at Sebastian.

Blaise then slams his gavel. "With that settled, the prosecution may call forth its first witness."

Muscular Blaise sighs as he shoots a quick dirty look at Sebastian before directing his attention towards the real Blaise. "If that little idiot is finally done complaining, the prosecution would like to call Justine Courtney to the stand."

Justine is then brought to the witness stand by two Blaise bailiffs.

"Witness, state your name and occupation to the court." Muscular Blaise commands as he fiddles with his lighter.

Justine takes a brief second to survey the room before flashing Blaise a look of pure disgust. "Debeste, out of all the punishments that you've done on this 'show', this has got to be a new low, even for you. What kind of father would issue their son this kind of punishment?"

Blaise grins and shakes his head while flashing Justine an excited, sadistic look that sends slight chills up her spine, though she tries her best not to show it, especially in front of this madman. "Who said that this punishment was specifically for Sebastian? All the note said was to put Sebastian on trial for being criminally dumb; it didn't say that I had to limit it to only him, y'know."

Justine, knowing exactly that look on Blaise's face means, decides to ask him the obvious in the hope that perhaps she is wrong. "And so you decided to also punish me?" Justine puts her hands to her chest, as if bracing for a powerful blow.

"Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Yes Justine, I also plan to punish you, not only for how you betrayed me in 'Forgotten Turnabout', but also because limiting this to just Sebastian would be kind of pointless, y'know. Y'see, this is no new information for Sebastian at this point in his life, so I'd essentially be beating a dead horse… a very stupid, naïve dead horse that I hate, y'know. But for you, Courtney, since you actually care for my son, this punishment actually has meaning, y'see. That, and because for as long as I've known you, I've always wanted to do this…"

Blaise then snaps his fingers which makes Justine's clothes disappear, living her completely nude; though black censor bars prevent any of her private areas from being seen.

Blaise scowls at the censor bars as he attempts to light his lighter, but his lighter refuses to ignite. "Damn it, I forgot about those. Curse you family friendly entertainment!"

"Debeste, how dare you do something so inappropriate in the sanctuary of the Goddess of the law!?" Justine protests as she grabs the censor bars and wraps them around her body as a makeshift outfit.

Blaise, upon hearing this lets out a condescending laugh. "Y'see, Courtney, since we're in a realm of my creation, I outrank your little Goddess."

Muscular Blaise chimes in. "So if you don't want any issues with the law, I'd suggest you comply and state your name and occupation to the court. And I wouldn't backtalk His Honor anymore if I were you, y'know; just remember what happened to the last person who angered His Honor while he was holding a gavel. They-"

"I know, 'disappeared'. And so what if you kill me, Debeste? You and I both know that you'll just revive me for future punishments." Justine says with a stoic expression, knowing that the only outcome that would result from her temporary death would be Sebastian's punishment being shortened.

But contrary to Blaise getting angrier, as Justine expects, he just smiles and chuckles to himself as a malicious, sinister idea enters his mind. "Well, if that's how you feel, Justine, then I bet you wouldn't mind if I had some fun with John."

Blaise then snaps his fingers and in the middle of the courtroom, a tank filled with sharks appears and dangling from a rope above said tank is Justine's adoptive son, John Marsh.

"John!" Justine gasps as she sees her beloved adopted son dangle above the tank of ravenous sharks; and although he has a stoic face that gives him the appearance of being merely inconvenienced by this whole ordeal, as his mother, Justine knows that he's really crying on the inside.

Blaise starts playing with his lighter. "So as you can see, Courtney, unless you cooperate, then your son won't live to see the third grade."

"I'm 13, gramps!" John yells, causing him to sway in the air as he wriggles in anger.

"See John, this is why you should eat your vegetables. Otherwise, psychotic madmen will mock your height." Justine says in a warm, yet stern, voice, briefly putting her son's predicament aside so as to instill some motherly advice.

Blaise, being a single father, chuckles upon hearing the topic of finicky eaters. "Y'know, if you're having trouble getting your son to eat his vegetables, then I can be of assistance. Y'see, at first, Sebastian didn't want to eat his vegetables, but I eventually found a way to get him to cooperate; and all you need is a hammer, a clamp, and a washcloth. First-"

"Objection!" Muscular Blaise yells, clenching his fist and squeezing the life out of his lighter, which is now spewing a large flame. "As much as I'd love to engage in pointless chitchat, we have a trial to run, y'know. So could the witness please state their name and occupation?"

Justine sighs, knowing that she has no choice, lest she sees her son killed before her very eyes. "My name is Justine Courtney and I am a judge."

"Good!" Muscular Blaise sneers. "So how long have you known the worthless defendant, Courtney?"

"Three months."

"Now, since the defendant has done and said so many different things over the course of his life, please state his most noteworthy incidents for the court."

Justine takes a deep breath to mentally prepare herself. "By no means do I actually believe that Sebastian has less than average intelligence, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't said and/or done any… questionable things…" Justine glances over at the witness chair and sees tears welling up in Sebastian's eyes, obviously feeling betrayed by his best friend/mentor.

The sound of Blaise banging his gavel returns Justine to the topic at hand.

"As I was saying, I first met Sebastian when he arrived at the Prosecutor's Office for his first day of work. Being assigned as his investigative partner on behalf of the P.I.C., it was my duty that day to give him a tour around the Prosecutor's Office. The tour was going along without any issues until we reached the office of Prosecutor Klavier Gavin; at which point, I jokingly told him that Prosecutor Gavin's nickname was the Casanova Prosecutor, on account of his tendency to date and break the hearts of many a young woman; and upon hearing this, Sebastian ran down the hallway, flailing his arms, and screaming 'Prosecutor Gavin's a marauder! He kills women by breaking their hearts!' at the top of his lungs as he proceeded to run into the door leading to the stairwell."

Justine is interrupted by the sound of Blaise, Muscular Blaise, and the jury of Blaises laughing at Sebastian's naivety.

After all of the Blaises calm down, Justine continues with her testimony. "Then, there was the time when I took him shopping at the mall for a new pair of shoes and the power in the mall went out, on account of a storm, while we were riding up the escalator. Noticing that the elevator was no longer working, I proceeded to walking up it as if it were a normal flight of stairs and when I reached the top, I was expecting to find Sebastian right behind me; instead, he was standing in the middle of the escalator screaming for help. When I asked him why he was just standing still, he responded by telling me that he can't move since the escalator wasn't moving. I then told Sebastian that since a motionless escalator is just a regular stairway, to which he rebutted, 'Justine, since I'm the best, it's quite obvious that a motionless escalator isn't a flight of stairs because an escalator is an escalator and not stairs.'"

Upon hearing this, all of the Blaises are howling with laugher.

After all of the Blaises once again calm down, Justine picks up where she left off. "But perhaps Sebastian's saddest moment was this one time when I was driving him and myself to a crime scene and I noticed that he was acting abnormally solemn. Being the caring person that I am, I asked him what was troubling him and he told me how his beloved pet had recently died and that he wanted to get it cremated. Seeing how there was a pet crematorium on the way to the crime scene, I decided to take Sebastian there to fulfil his wish. So we enter the crematorium and the man at the counter asks Sebastian to present his pet, and lo and behold, Sebastian, with a haughty grin on his face, places a pet rock on the counter that he named 'Rocky Rockerson'."

The All of the Blaises start laughing, pounding their fists on their respective table surfaces, with a few of them even gasping for air from laughing so hard.

As the Blaises continue laughing, Justine looks over at Sebastian, who is lightly sobbing in the defendant's chair. "Why'd you betray me, Justine? I've gotten used to this sort of treatment from Pops, but not from you. I thought that you were my fiend!" Sebastian wails at the top of his lungs; which causes the Blaises to laugh even harder.

Justine puts her finger to her lips and shushes Sebastian. "I also see you as a 'friend', Sebastian, and I really didn't want to do this, but I can't go against your father who is currently threatening my son's life." Justine distraughtly says as she points to John, who is currently giving everyone in the court an over-the-top pouty face.

"Hey gramps, can you at make yourself useful and give me some milk? I can't function without my milk!" John yells as he scowls at Blaise; to which the corrupt ex-P.I.C. chairman responds to by throwing a carton of milk at the boy which bursts upon impact, drenching his head with milk.

Blaise slams his gavel. "I believe that the court has gathered enough evidence for this trial, y'know. Has the jury reached a verdict?"

One of the Blaises in the jury stands up. "We have, Your Honor. Y'see, the jury find the worthless, idiot of a defendant Sebastian Debeste…. Guilty!" The juror Blaise says with a devious grin on his face.

"In that case, I sentence Sebastian to be thrown into a meat grinder." Blaise says as he slams his gavel, which causes a giant meat grinder to appear in the courtroom.

Blaise then snaps his fingers which warp Sebastian right above the meat grinder, where he then falls into it screaming. Upon hitting the blades, a moderate amount of Sebastian's blood bursts out of the top of the meat grinder similar to how lava erupts from a volcano; which causes all of the Blaises to start cheering.

Blaise then calms down the other Blaises by slamming his gavel. "Y'know Courtney, I'm gonna let your son go… right into the meat grinder!" Blaise jovially yells as he snaps his fingers, which causes John to be warped above the meat grinder and killed the exact same way that Sebastian executed.

"JOHN! Debeste, you are the sickest, most twisted, heatless psychotic bastard that I have ever had the displeasure to know! I swear to the Goddess of the Law that you will pay dearly for this!" Justine yells in a distraught voice, hyperventilating at the shock of seeing her son gruesomely killed in front of her.

Blaise, who is enjoying every second of this, sneers at Justine. "I know; ain't I a stinker?" Blaise says in a kidding matter as Justine glares at him with eyes like daggers.

Blaise shrugs his shoulders. "Since we're here, why not make Wocky's day a little worse?"

Blaise snaps his fingers which causes Wocky, whose hair has been styled into a perm, to be warped above the meat grinder and then die just like Sebastian and John before him.

"Alright, I think that's enough fun for this punishment, y'know." Blaise states as he snaps his fingers, which causes Sebastian, Justine, John, and Wocky to be returned to their holding cells and warps himself to the show's stage.


Blaise directs his attention to the camera. "Y'know, I think that was the best punishment yet; at least for me, that is. But as much as I'd love to continue torturing Sebastian, I have to keep the show moving and spread the pain around, y'see."

Blaise then reaches into the jar and pulls out another note; which upon reading leaves him with a puzzled expression on his face. "Y'know JordanPhoenix, I'm flattered that you believe in my abilities, but how in God's name do you expect me to effectively punish a bland character like Iris Hawthorne? I mean, if it wasn't for her sister, you wouldn't even remember her…"

A large, sinister smile spreads across Blaise's face. "I think I've got it! Yup, that should do the trick… Let the punishment commence.

Blaise then turns on a screen which shows Iris, who has just been released from prison, happily riding the bus as she returns home to Hazakura Temple. When she gets to the temple, she runs off the bus and to the main hall with a big grin on her face, where she sees Bikini, whose back is turned to Iris, sweeping the floor.

"Sister Bikini, I'm finally home!" Iris chirps.

Bikini, with a warm smile on her face, turns around to face Iris; but as soon as she sees Iris, her smile changes into a stern look of hatred and disdain. "I don't know how you've returned, but I won't allow you to defile this temple with your evil presence again."

Iris gives Bikini a confused look, unaware of what she had done wrong. "Sister Bikini, it's me, Iris. I was just released from prison, so I've returned to resume my duties to Hazakura Temple."

Bikini glares at Iris. "Do you take me for a fool, demon? Anyone could deduce your identity by your hair color. Now leave this sacred area before I send you back from whence you came!" Bikini threatens as she extends her broomstick towards Iris.

"But-"

"OUT!" Bikini yells, to which Iris responds to by scurrying out of the temple, tears flowing down her cheeks as she feels the pain of being chased away by the only mother figure that she had ever known.

As soon as Iris is back outside the temple, she begins to walk at a slower pace as she thinks about what has just happened.

"Why would Sister Bikini not want me in the temple? Was it because I took part in Mystic Misty's death? No, Sister Bikini knew that it was out of my control. But if that's not it, then what could it be…?"

As Iris walks by a nearby puddle, she takes a quick glance at her reflection and is horrified to see that her hair has somehow become the exact shade of red as her deceased sister. Realizing that this was what Bikini was angered by, Iris decides to head into the city to dye her hair black in order to solve this issue.

When Iris gets to a salon in the city, she is able to easily get a dye job with no wait; but alas, after the procedure is done, her hair is still the same red color as her evil twin sister's. Distraught, Dahlia goes to several more salons, but the outcome remains consistent in that her hair is still red.

Iris, who is unsure of what to do, goes to seek help at the Prosecutor's Office from Godot, who was just released from prison; and hopefully, since his vision is distorted in regards to the color red, he may not confuse her for Dahlia like Bikini had.

When Iris reaches the closed door of Godot's office, she meekly knocks the door to see if he's in there. "Come in." Godot replies, obviously involved with some kind of work. When Iris nervously enters the office, she sees Godot reading some papers.

"Mr. Godot, I-I don't mean to be a burden, but I need your help with an issue I'm facing." Iris nervously asks.

When Godot looks up from his papers, his response is taking a few deep sips of his coffee. After a long pause, he finally decides to speak. "And why exactly should I help the witch that tried to murder me and my kitten's sister? Godot bitterly asks as he takes another sip of his coffee.

"Mr. Godot, it's me, Iris. I'm not my sister; you have to believe me!" Iris irritably exclaims to the prosecutor.

Godot shakes his head. "Look, my vision may be screwed up, but I can recognize the woman who killed me, especially when she's wearing the same outfit she wore on that day."

At that moment, Iris looks down and notices that her acolyte robe that she was wearing has been turned into the dress that Dahlia always wore. Seeing how she is uncanny to her deceased sister and thus has no chance of convincing Godot otherwise, flees from the office to avoid another confrontation.

As Iris walks the streets of LA, she ponders if there's anyone that she knows that won't mistake her for her sister and then it hits her; if there's one person in this whole world that could differentiate her from Dahlia, it would have to be her Feenie. If he could tell that they were two different people back when he was a naïve college student, then he can do it now. So with a newfound hope, Iris makes her way to Phoenix's law firm.

When she enters the office, she sees Phoenix, Maya, and Pearl watching the 'Steel Samurai' on their television; although judging by the look on Phoenix's face and the fact that Maya is holding the back of his neck with one hand, he really doesn't want to be doing this.

Upon seeing this side of Phoenix, Iris clasps her hands and looks upward with a warm smile as she is reminded of the time when they were dating and Phoenix drew for her a picture of a dahlia flower and said 'A dahlia for my Dahlia." when he presented it to her. Sure, the drawing looked like a purple cotton ball and the gift was unbelievably corny, but it was the thought that counted. She can still remember how kind and loving he was to her every day that they were together and the guilt that came of not telling him the truth after he was acquitted for her sister's crime. If only she had been braver that day and had been honest, then she could have saved him a lot of heartache and who knows, maybe they would have still been dating.

As she thinks about what could have been, Iris is snapped back to reality by the reason as to why she's at the office in the first place: to get Phoenix's help for her current problem.

Iris nervously walks over to Phoenix and weakly taps him on the shoulder. "Feenie…" Iris meekly says as Phoenix turns around and then jolts back out of shock.

"H-How…?" Phoenix says with wide eyes and a voice filled with terror.

For Iris, this angst is not out of place for Phoenix since he has always been an introverted man; which is one of his endearing qualities that makes her want to eat him up. "Well, I got out of prison and I need your help with a problem that I'm having." Iris says in a warm, sweet voice to calm Phoenix down.

Phoenix quickly turns to make sure that Maya and Pearl are safely behind him before he flashes Iris his bravest glare. "Help with what? Hiding the body of your most recent victim? Killing my mentor's little sister as revenge? Finding new ways to use my emotions as a means to an end and then ripping my heat out of my chest and stomping it into dust when you're done!?" Phoenix yells that last part through clenched teeth as he tries his best to hold back the tears that are welling up in his eyes.

Iris tenses up in an attempt to appear smaller. "What are you talking about, Feenie?"

"Stop pretending that you have something to hide and tell us who's channeling you, Dahlia!" Phoenix bitterly states while folding his arms.

Upon hearing that even Phoenix can't tell her apart from her sister, Iris starts to lightly sob. "Feenie, it's me, Iris! You have to believe me!"

Maya throws a hamburger at Iris, which hits her dress and leaves a ketchup stain behind. "The power of burgers compels you! Outta this office, evil spirit!" Maya yells as she continues to repeatedly throw hamburgers at Iris.

"Please Feenie; you're all that I have left!" Iris wails as Phoenix pulls a revolver out of his suit and aims it at Iris.

"W-What's that gun for?" Iris nervously asks as she points at the weapon.

Phoenix cocks the gun. "Oh, this? It's just something that I bought to deal with psychotic, manipulative people like you. Tell Manfred von Karma 'screw you' for me when you get back to Hell."

"Feenie, I-" Before Iris can finish her sentence, Phoenix shoots her in the heart, causing he to fall limp on the ground.

"Feenie…" Iris weakly says as the life drains from her body and her vision goes dark; but before she dies, she is blinded by a bright light and when she regains her sight, she is back in her holding cell.


The show then focuses back on Blaise who is rubbing his left temple. "Sorry if that punishment was a bit bland and short; but y'see what I had to deal with. That whole final section with Phoenix sums up Iris' whole character arc in a nutshell, y'know. And if any Iris fans try to dispute me on this, then look through all of her dialogue during 'Bridge to Turnabout' and you'll notice how 99.99% of Iris' dialogue pertains to how much she loves Phoenix and/or guilt about Dahlia's crimes. The other .01 percent of dialogue is that bit where she tells Edgeworth how Larry's 'love letter' frightened her; which was actually kind of funny since it slightly livened up her character for all of five seconds. Y'see, that girl is almost as bland as Sebastian is stupid, and no one is stupider than Sebastian, y'know."

Blaise then takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "Perhaps the next punishment will be more amusing…" Blaise states with enthusiasm as he reaches into the jar and pulls out another note, which causes him to grin upon reading it. "Thus must be the Hawthorne episode of 'Pick Your Poison!' because DJJ680 would like to see Dahlia learn just what kind of person she truly is… Let the punishment commence."

Blaise then turns on a screen which shows an arm bursting through the ground in a dim alley, followed by another arm until eventually Dahlia manages to pull herself out of the ground and is finally able to roam the world of the living once more.

Dahlia takes a good look in a broken window pane at her new body, which is the exact same as her old one down to the dress that she always wore. "I live once more!" Dahlia yells in a shrill voice as she starts to cackle. "But what's the point in having a new body if I'm not going to use it to kill those who have wronged me in the past…? Starting with my weak, pathetic sister." Dahlia growls as she walks out of the alley and makes her way to Hazakura Temple.

When Dahlia gets to Hazakura Temple, she makes her grand entrance by thrusting the doors open, creating a loud thud when they hit the wall, only to be greeted by the empty main chamber. Dahlia then proceeds to look for Iris and after a few minutes of searching the temple, finds Iris sweeping the floor in a nearby side room.

"Guess who, Iris?" Dahlia sneers at her twin.

Iris turns to face Dahlia and gives her a cold, stoic look. "Hello, sister." Iris says in a voice as cold as her expression.

Dahlia starts to become nervous upon noticing that Iris' body is more muscular than she remembered. "Is it me, or did you start working out?"

Iris cynically laughs at Dahlia's question. "Well, what else are you supposed to do in prison?"

Dahlia rolls her eyes. "Oh please, Iris, you and I both know that you couldn't last a day in prison. I bet you probably just sat in the corner crying while the other girls made you their bitch."

"On the contrary, Dahlia, I killed a woman during my sentence after she badmouthed my Feenie by calling him 'Porcupine-Head'." Iris states matter-of-factly as he approaches her sister, who in turn slowly backs away.

Despite the fear induced by her sister's personality change, Dahlia continues to try to put on a brave face, which isn't helped by her profuse sweating. "Iris, you know very well that I can easily strike you down if you try anything."

"Dahlia, that may have worked for most of our lives, but during my time in prison, I've heard about many criminals who were sent to the same prison that I was in; people who were able to achieve their goals and so much more before they were brought to justice; unlike you who couldn't even be successful at even one of her original crimes. Now get out of my home before I do to you what I did to the last girl that hurt my Feenie!" Iris demands while pulling out a knife; to which Dahlia, who knows that she is at a disadvantage, responds to by storming out of the temple.

Dahlia then makes her way into the city to get her revenge on Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey for how they and that hag Mia Fey humiliated her. Thankfully, since those two are inseparable, she'll be able to kill two birds with one stone.

When Dahlia reaches the law firm, Phoenix and Maya are leaving for the day to head back to his apartment; but before they can leave, Dahlia walks in front of them and blocks their path. "Long time no see, Phoenix. Time for me to finish what I've started." Dahlia flashes a sadistic grin as she pulls out a knife.

Instead of Phoenix crying in fear like she expects, he and Maya burst out laughing. "Y-You're going to kill me? Good one, Dahlia!" Phoenix slaps his knee in laughter.

Dahlia glares at Phoenix. "This is not a joke, you idiot! I'm going to kill you! Right here, right now!" The vengeful redhead snarls.

Phoenix rolls his eyes. "Oh please, you tried to kill Godot and failed, you tried to kill me and failed, and you tried to kill Maya and royally failed. The only time when your plan actually succeeded was when you killed your stepsister, but that was just to cover up your failed kidnapping plan."

"Well, I-You- At least I managed to kill off Doug Swallow before he could rat me out to anyone!" Dahlia pouts. At that moment, Matt Engarde, who was just released from prison, is walking by, but the second he sees Dahlia, he turns around and quickly runs off in the opposite direction.

Dahlia, indignant from being humiliated by Phoenix Wright of all people, storms of to deal with the next person on her list; the worthless defense attorney who couldn't get her acquitted during her trial: Kristoph Gavin.

When Dahlia reaches Kristoph's law firm, she sees Kristoph walking towards his car. "Guess who's back, Gavin!?" Dahlia yells as she approaches Kristoph.

Kristoph, being the mostly calm and collected man that he is, turns to face Dahlia and greets her with a warm smile. "Ah, Miss. Hawthorne, what a surprise to see you here; I thought that you were hanged in prison."

Dahlia scowls at the attorney. "Yes, and it was all because of YOUR shoddy skills as a defense attorney! I remember how you were so confident about getting me an acquittal when we met at the Detention Center, but all that changed three minutes into the trial when that von Karma guy had you shaking like a leaf. But now that I'm back, I'm going to make you feel my pain!" Dahlia grins as she pulls out her knife.

Kristoph shakes his head. "I was not 'shaking like a leaf' that day, Miss. Hawthorne. Oh no, it was actually the opposite of that. I would liken my loss that day to a tactical retreat where I knew that going up against Manfred von Karma would result in me loosing no matter what I did. Plus, you were charming, had an eerily calm demeanor, and had flashes of contempt: all classical signs of a psychopath; I should know; and because of that, I knew that you'd eventually slip-up during the course of the trial, so I thought to myself 'What's the point of even trying?'"

Dahlia's pupils disappear as she gives Kristoph the Fey Death Glare which was perfected by her mother. "I wouldn't have been caught if you would have actually done your job!"

Kristoph, who is completely unfazed, gives Dahlia a look of pure contention. "While you are beautiful and ruthless, both traits that I love in a woman, it does not excuse the facts that your logic is often flawed, your plans are reckless, and your sloppy methods are on par with something that I'd expect from my foolish little brother. In fact, you are so pathetic that words alone are not enough to describe my feelings. There's only one form of expression powerful enough for me to voice my thoughts…. song! Hit it!"

Suddenly, Dahlia and Kristoph are transported to a theater where Klavier starts to strum a song on his guitar as Kristoph starts to sing.

Come and listen well, Hawthorne.

You are only just a thorn.

You were nothing since the day you were born.

You're only really good for porn.

Dahlia turns away from Kristoph. "I won't even dignify that with a response."

I see that you think that you're hollow,

just because you've killed Doug Swallow.

But in reality, you're just stale

because the only thing you're good at is to fail!

Kristoph lets Klavier play a brief guitar solo before he resumes singing.

Fail, fail, that is you!

You really have no clue.

It doesn't matter what you spew

because we all know it to be true.

"All of my plans haven't been complete failures. I've been able to get revenge on multiple occasions." Dahlia protests.

If that's what you really think,

you must be the missing link

because there are other criminals than just you,

so I'll only present just a few.

Suddenly, Manfred von Karma appears on the stage.

"Hit it, von Karma!" Kristoph enthusiastically commands.

My name Manfred von Karma

and perfection's my dharma.

I kept my record strong as I had longed

until that fateful day when I was wronged.

Wanna ask me how I got even?

Simple, I just killed the man and left his son grievin'!

Manfred then disappears and Damon Gant appears in his place.

I was known as Chief Gant.

I used to make the criminals sweat and pant.

I used blackmail to force Lanny to agree

so that both the police and prosecutors would bend to me.

Gant clasps his hands together. "So Krissy, gone swimming lately?" Gant start clapping his hands as he disappears and is replaced with Quercus Alba.

Quercus Alba is who I be.

I ran a smuggling ring that none could see.

And if any tried to get in my way,

They'd experience the end of the father of Kay.

Kristoph then makes every criminal in the series, with the exception of Dahlia, to appear on the stage to sing the final verse of the song.

Fail, fail, that is you!

You really have no clue.

It doesn't matter what you spew

because we all know it to be true.

Kristoph then sings solo for the rest of the song.

You fail.

Dahlia scowls. "I think that's enough."

You fail!

"Stop it!" Dahlia screams.

You fail!

"STOOOOP!" Dahlia screams at the top of her lungs while covering her ears.

You faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiillllll!

At that moment, several fireworks go off and a giant, flashing, red neon sign that reads 'Fail' lights up behind Kristoph as Klavier closes out the song with a few final notes.

After the Klavier finishes playing, Kristoph, with a warm smile, pushes a button on a nearby wall that causes the floor to open up beneath Dahlia; causing her to fall into dark, bottomless abyss. As Dahlia falls to her doom, she is blinded by a bright light and when she regains her sight, she is back in her holding cell.


The show then focuses back on Blaise. "I would like to thank Norma Deplume for writing the lyrics to Kristoph's musical number. Y'see, I'm not that good at writing musical numbers, so she was a big help, y'know."

Blaise then starts playing with his lighter. "Y'know, Dahlia may be less bland than her twin, that doesn't make her the biggest failure in this game series. Sure, I may give my idiot son a lot of grief for his stupidity, but at least he somewhat learns from his mistakes, y'know. Dahlia, on the other hand, never learned from her mistakes, thus making her a massive failure in my book. Y'see, the only way for a woman to be a bigger failure than Dahlia Hawthorne would be if she had a low enough self-esteem to want to date Sebastian. Thankfully, no girl in their right mind is that pitiful; hence why my ugly, worthless son will die alone like the reject that he is."

Suddenly, Mike Meekins runs onto the stage.

Blaise throws a used tissue at Meekins. "What is it, Meekins? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of talking about my useless son?"

Meekins nervously twiddles his thumbs. "Umm, sir… According to our research, you're wrong about your son's appeal with the fans."

Blaise cocks his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Apparently, a lot of the female fans find Sebastian to be adorable."

Blaise stars to fiddle with his lighter, which isn't igniting. "Then those girls really need to get their eyes and brains examined, y'know. Anything else?"

"In addition, many people ship Sebastian with Kay Faraday!" Mike yells as he stiffens his body in preparation for Blaise's wrath.

Blaise starts to pull on his beard and fake cry. "T-That poor girl! H-Here comes the waterworks…"

Meekins interrupts Blaise's crying. "Um, sir? Didn't you try to have her convicted for a murder that you yourself committed?"

A large flame is emitted from Blaise's lighter as he scowls at Meekins. "Y'see, that's different. I would never subject any woman to a life of misery with Sebastian! That's a fate that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy, y'know."

Blaise is interrupted by a beep from a nearby monitor. "It seems that we're all out of time for today's episode. Good thing, too, because I'm going to take some time to research this Sebastian x Kay matter myself. Y'see, if it turns out that poor girl is being shipped with my idiot son, then I'm going to send her a muffin basket as an apology. As always, I am Blaise Debeste, and I thank you for watching 'Pick Your Poison!'"

A puff of smoke then appears on stage as Blaise Debeste vanishes into thin air.


A/N: Hey guys, I hope that you liked this episode. The hardest part of writing it was the musical number in Dahlia's punishment, which was the first musical number that I ever wrote. If you're curious about the beat and tempo, I based it off of swing music with a 'dun dun dun-dun-dun' type of thing going.