Chaingun Cha Cha

Beth sat in the Mako's front passenger seat, observing as her brother made his slow, ponderous way through the pre-drop checklist. Dot every i and cross ever t, that was Augustus Shepard. In the crew compartment behind them, Tali'Zorah occupied the Mako's gun turret and would keep track of the sensors.

At first, Beth had been excited to be sitting high up in the Mako's cockpit, peering out through the thick viewports. After about half a minute, though, the excitement of looking out at the garage deck through the viewports wore off and she started to feel bored.
"I don't remember combat being this thrilling," she said, "And by 'thrilling' I really mean 'dead boring.' You gonna drop the Mako or not?"

Shepard didn't look up from his checklist as he replied, "Alliance regulations stipulate that a full pre-mission check must be carried out prior to each drop."

Beth sighed and asked, "Zorah?"

"Yes, Bethany?"

"Are the kinetic barriers fully charged?"

Tali'zorah knew full well that they were but a lifetime as part of the quarian flotilla had taught her never to take things like hull and barrier integrity for granted and she double-checked her readouts. "Barriers are fully charged," she reported a second later.

"And the sensor suite, comm system and gunnery controls are all online?"

"Yes," Tali confirmed.

"OK, then," Bethany said, leaned across the centre console, grabbed the clipboard bearing the half-completed checklist from her brother and tossed it out the open hatch.

"Hey!" Shepard protested, "I wasn't finished yet!"

"Augie, look at me," Beth hissed, "The shields are charged, the sensors are online and the comm's working. We. Can. Go."

"But..." Shepard sputtered.

"Now!"

Shepard glared at his sister. Much as he loved her, he could never get his head around her impulsive behaviour. He sighed, defeated. Opening a comm line, he reported, "Joker, shore party reports ready for drop."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker replied and then they were falling through space.

"Express elevator to Hell! Going down!" Bethany shouted and whooped as the six-wheeled vehicle fell towards the surface of the asteroid from where the signal originated. Shepard closed his eyes and shook his head. The Mako's frame shuddered as the plasma jets ignited, slowing their descent speed so that, when they hit ground, they wouldn't end up splattered from one end of the asteroid to the other like so much strawberry jam.

The Mako hit the ground and Beth's restraints tightened up, preventing her from being flung out the front windows, her head going one way and the rest of her another. Her pulse raced and her hands were damp inside her gauntlets but all the same, she felt great. Beside her, the Commander put the vehicle into gear and the rover began trundling towards the source of the signal. Trundling very slowly.

Beth glanced at the digital display on the dashboard. They were travelling at a pulse-pounding twenty kilometres per hour. Beth blew out an exasperated breath and began tapping her fingers against her ablative plating. Tap tap tappity tap tap. Tap tappity.
Commander Shepard glared at her, "Beth, that's really irritating," he snapped.

"Augie, you drive like an old woman," she shot back. "I could get out and run faster than this!"

"This from the woman whose license has been suspended for how many months?"

"Six," she grumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"Six months!" Bethany spat.

Shepard nodded, "And why?"

"For driving at a hundred and ten in a ninety zone. Bastards."

"Perhaps Bethany is right in wanting to reach our destination in a more timely fashion?" Tali spoke up. Shepard made no reply, other than to increase speed dramatically, throwing them all back in their seats and causing much jouncing as the vehicle sped over the rocky terrain.

"Oh, so when Tali tells you to go faster, that's perfectly fine, is it?"

"When Tali asks me to speed up, she does so in a respectful manner," Shepard ground out.

"I respect you. I respect that you're a pain in the ass!"

"I'm picking up multiple element zero cores, bearing zero five nine," Tali reported. "Geth," she added needlessly.

"Oh what joy," Bethany muttered.

"At least we know it's a trap," Shepard pointed out.

"Yay us!"

Shepard pulled the Mako to a stop and inspected the readings. A dozen signatures. Eezo masses suggested no synthetic units heavier than shocktroopers. Shepard popped the hatches, "Let's go."

"On foot?" Bethany queried. "Why not just fire up the main gun and blow the suckers into orbit?"

"I want to try catching them off guard and if we go in on foot, we have a better chance of approaching undetected. Plus you get to play sniper."
Bethany grinned beneath her helmet visor as she jumped to the ground. Little puffs of dust rose into the air, swirled briefly around her ankles. She removed the sniper rifle from the slot on her back, slapped a magazine of tungsten rounds into the receiver and cycled a round into the weapon. "Let's rock," she said.

"Comm check," Shepard ordered. "Tali, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, Commander."

"Bethany?"
Silence. Shepard frowned, "Beth?"

More silence. Shepard sighed, she was going to make him call her by her callsign. "Vixen?"

"Charged and locked," she replied, a smile in her voice.

"Move out."

Arrayed before their position atop a rocky outcropping was a group of geth patrolling the area. Bethany peered through the optical sights of her rifle, observing the synthetics. "I have a clear line of sight," she reported, all business now. Shepard nodded, impressed. So, this was how to make his rebellious sister straighten up - drop her into a hot zone.

"Fire at will," he ordered.

"Aye aye," Beth acknowledged and squeezed off a shot, her first in ten years. And missed. The slug blew a crater the size of a dinner plate into the rocky terrain a half-metre from her target. "Dammit!" she hissed, as she chambered another round and fired again.

The rifle spat a high-velocity anti-armour round and downrange, the head of the geth on point blew apart soundlessly in the vacuum. Immediately, the remaining geth began searching for their attackers.

"Kill confirmed," she said, allowing the weapon to vent excess heat before firing another shot. Again a geth fell back, blue goo spraying its compatriots. "Two down."
By now, the geth had found the source of the gunfire and a shocktrooper wielding a rocket launcher fired a shot at their direction. "Incoming!" Beth screamed, abandoning her position and running for cover. She was faintly aware of her brother and Zorah following after her. The warhead detonated, spraying pulverized rock and debris, the shock-wave like a giant hand shoving them off balance.

Recovering herself, Beth again sighted in on the advancing synthetics. The organics had the high ground and the tactical advantage. Beth dropped two more geth before the rifle overheated and she slot it away, opting for the assault rifle. Beside her, Shepard was aglow with a blue-white biotic corona and that was something to see, Beth thought. Geth were hurled backwards, lifted into the air and pulled into singularities.

Tali primed a tactical mine, selected her target, the rocket-wielding shocktrooper and hurled it. The burst of interference from the mine scrambled the geth's IFF, marking friendlies as hostiles and thus, open to an ass-whuppin' The white-armoured shocktrooper locked onto a pair of advancing enemy units and fired. The explosion lofted various synthetic bits and pieces high into the air; blue goo rained down...like rain.

Bethany whistled in admiration and rewarded Rocket Boy with a long burst from her assault rifle. Rocket Boy danced the chaingun cha cha, shuddering violently as the rounds slammed into its torso before it finally dropped, sparking. Bethany checked her head-up display. "We're clear, Commander," she reported. Holy crap. I actually sounded like an actual proper soldier. I even called him 'Commander' and everything. She smiled and said, "Bethany's back, baby!"

Inside the helmet of his Predator L hardsuit, Commander Shepard smiled. "You did good, sis," he complimented her. "You too, Tali."

"We still have to locate the distress beacon and disable it, before civilians are killed," Tali reminded them.

"We'll take the Mako," Beth said. "And this time, I'm driving."

---

Williams sat in the bridge alongside Joker, making a point of not showing undue interest in the shore party's hardsuit status and vital signs as displayed on a bridge monitor. The Skipper knew what he was doing, she told herself, he was perfectly fine and, though technically not a solider, Beth had been through the same basic training as Williams and from what the telemetry was telling her, also knew how to handle herself, having notched up four kills already.

Joker watched the telemetry with more than his usual professional detachment. That was his old girlfriend down there, being shot at. Sure, they'd both moved on but still, old girlfriend. Both Joker and Williams turned as Liara entered the bridge. "Lieutenant Moreau, Chief Williams," she greeted them. Joker had long since given up trying to get Liara to call him Joker. "How are they doing?" Liara asked.

"Fine and dandy," Williams assured her. With a small smile she added, "Bethany's nailed four of the synthetic bastards already."

Williams considered Liara for a moment before turning back to the telemetry. Scuttlebutt suggested Dr T'soni was a bit infatuated with the Commander's sister. Unfortunately for Dr T'soni, the infatuation seemed to be one-sided. There were also rumours to the effect that Nurse Kitty had designs on Bethany as well. Williams shook her head. The nurse struck her as a little off. Williams had gone to her once with a mild temperature and Kitty had wanted her to take her fatigues off. Williams had beat a hasty retreat and waited until Dr Chakwas had been back on duty.

"It must be...difficult for you. To be up here while down there, the Commander is putting himself at risk. And you being unable to do anything to help," Liara spoke quietly. She felt a thread of true fear worm through her. Part of her accepted that Bethany would never see her as anything more than a friend. Perhaps even a very close friend but still, she felt so helpless, seeing them fighting while she was stuck in orbit.

Another part of Liara, the deeper, animal part of her being was aware of the 'scuttlebutt' surrounding Nurse Kitty's interest in Bethany. Liara could bear simply being friends with Bethany. She wasn't sure she could bear the knowledge that Bethany and Nurse Kitty were...together.

Williams turned around in her seat and eyed the asari, "She'll be OK," she said quietly. "They all will be." Liara nodded silently and left.

---

Back aboard ship, Bethany was buzzing with the adrenaline high, pacing back and forth across the floor of vehicle bay and spouting quotes from some old movie or other. Shepard shook his head as he observed her.

"Check it out! I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do not want to fuck with me!"

Turning abruptly on her heel, Bethany closed with her brother, planted a kiss on his forehead and said, "Let's go look at some naked chicks!"

Shepard fiddled with the heart rate monitor, making sure the leads weren't under foot and peeled the backing from the adhesive pads. "Pull up your top," he ordered his sister. They were in the Captain's cabin, the door locked. It wouldn't do them any good at all to be seen trawling through smutty extranet sites devoted to objectifying men and women but, now that the idea had been planted her mind, Bethany was determined to see this through.

Bethany complied, trying not to think about how weird it was, having her brother's hands stick electrical wires to her chest.

"OK, we're good to go," Shepard said, eyeing the readout. "Your heart rate's a little up. Try to relax," he said.

"We just got back from bitch-slapping a group of geth. I'm still jazzed!" she replied before beginning a series of deep breaths. After a little while, her heart slowed to normal.

"So, you want to go to the girly sites first?" Shepard inquired as he connected to the extranet via comm buoys.

"Might as well get it over with," she ground out.

Shepard paused, hands above the keyboard.

"Don't tell me you don't have a whole list of porn sites stored inside that over-sized mutant brain of yours," Bethany teased.

Shepard frowned. "I live with a beautiful, loving woman," he said, "I don't needto ogle naked women on the extranet!"

Beth snorted laughter. "You're a man. Ogling naked women is hardwired behaviour. OK, try Schoolgirls Gone Wild," she said. Her brother eyed her carefully, "This guy I used to work with had a real fetish for the squeaky clean schoolgirl look. It just came to mind."
Shepard typed in the address and soon enough, women who most definitely were not schoolgirls filled the screen in various stages of undress.

"What is with men and that whole plaid skirt thing?" Bethany asked. "No girl I went to school with ever dressed like that." She paused, head cocked to one side, listening to the heart monitor. Bleep Bleep Bleep. Good. Nice and regular.

"How old do you think she is?" Bethany asked, indicating one particular peroxide blonde who carried so much silicone she could probably open her own breast-enhancement clinic.

"Twenty-five?" Shepard guessed, swallowing. God help him but some of those women were rather comely. Not that he was into that kind of thing. The objectification of women for the sexual gratification of men was shameful. But still, that brunette was quite fetching and she had really nice eyes. He was suddenly struck by a vision of Ash wearing one of those schoolgirl outfits and gulped.

"Thirty, more like," Beth said, pulling him back to the matter at hand. "Damn, how insecure would you have to be to want boobs that big? God, how are they able to even stand up straight?" Bleep Bleep Bleep went the monitor. Still nice and stable. That was good. That was the cat's miaow.

Bethany smiled, "How are you going? Feeling turned on? A little hot?"

"No! Not at all!"

"Shyeah, right. You're picturing Ash in one of those outfits, aren't you? That's fine. Just don't picture me in one."
Oh no Shepard thought. Unbidden, an image of his own sister in a schoolgirl outfit arose in his mind's eye. And, heaven help him, his sister was hot. "Uh, maybe we should try one of the male sites?" he suggested.

Bethany shrugged. She'd never felt less turned on than she did right now. "Go ahead."

"Oh. My. God," she breathed a couple of minutes later, drinking in the slabs of beefcake arrayed before her. "Oh. My. Fucking. God!" The bleeps from the monitor immediately began speeding up. Within moments her resting heart rate had jumped by quite bit. And she was just looking at the guys.

"Would you look at the size of that thing?" she gasped, leaning in towards the screen.

Shepard frowned at her, concerned. It wasn't right, him watching her get all excited like this. It was wrong on so many levels. "How is he able to get his pants on?" Bethany marvelled, feeling her pulse race.

"Size isn't everything," Shepard muttered, arms crossed. "It's how you use it."

Bethany laughed, "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. Oh baby," she squealed. "Look at the six-pack on you!" She laughed again and fanned her face with her hands. "Hubba-hubba!"

"Beth, why is it acceptable for women to objectify men but not for men to objectify women?"

"Please! What man wouldn't want girls drooling all over his hot, silken, oiled up pecs? Ohhh..."

"That's it! This exercise is over!" Shepard declared and cut the connection.

"Spoilsport," Bethany protested as she peeled the monitor pads from her chest. "Don't forget to clear the cache out. I'd hate for somebody to think the first human Spectre had a secret yearning for the male of the species."

"Well, Sis. I think you can relax. According to this extremely unscientific test, you're very definitely into men."

"I'll say," Bethany agreed. "I know what I'll be dreaming of tonight!"

---

After breakfast the following day, Bethany sat alone at the mess table, her remaining packet of cigarettes before her. She was doing it, she was actually quitting. She didn't feel any great happiness about it though. She was giving up the cancer sticks out of necessity was all. Quitting was like farewelling an old friend. A friend who was constantly taking her money and in return was slowly killing her. But still, a friend. A companion who'd always been there to offer her comfort in the form of a tube of tightly packed tobacco leaves.

Beth sighed. She felt sad to be honest. Smoking was one of those guilty pleasures people had - like reading trashy magazines or watching chick-flicks and overindulging on chocolate ice-cream. Or, if you were a man, partaking of a little one-handed net surfing and ogling air-brushed girly pics. Bethany heaved another sigh, clenched her right hand into a fist and began hammering it onto the innocent cigarette pack. Innocent if an observer chose to overlook the cancers and emphysema, nicotine-stained fingers and the all-pervasive miasma of stale tobacco that clung to a smoker like an invisible mist.

Suddenly, Beth was very glad she'd made the decision to quit smoking. She smiled a little and kept hammering the cigarette packet until it was smashed flat, the cigarettes bent, broken and crushed. Little shreds of tobacco spilled from the wreckage. Bethany sighed, contentedly this time. Oh sure, the cravings would be hellish and she'd need to find something to keep her fingers occupied and keep a stock of chewing gum on her at all times but she thought she'd get through it OK. She'd been through worse and survived, hadn't she?

Whistling happily, Bethany swept the erstwhile cigarette pack into a waste bin and walked out of the mess, not looking back. Five minutes later, standing just outside the CIC, she felt the urge to light up seize her in its iron grip. Gritting her teeth, Bethany removed a packet of nicotine patches from her pants pocket, removed one and slapped it to her throat, right over the carotid artery. She figured that'd help get the nicotine into her bloodstream a little quicker. Next, she unwrapped a piece of sugar-free spearmint flavoured gum and popped it into her mouth. Chew chew chew OW! I bit my tongue!

Needing something to take her mind off smoking, Bethany rode the slowest elevator in the known galaxy to the garage, intending to upgrade her weapons and armour. Unfortunately, the workstation where one would reasonably expect to be able to upgrade weapons and armour was currently unavailable. Williams, in preparation for whatever the Dis system might throw at them, had decided to pull maintenance on every weapon and hardsuit on board and would be occupying the workstation for roughly the next eighteen standard hours. And that was if she chose to forgo using the bathroom.

So Bethany collected her gear and rode the galaxy's slowest elevator back up to the mid-deck. Her brother would likely have a fit if he caught her using the mess table to upgrade her gear but it wasn't as though she had a lot of options left - the engine room where she'd be in danger of being hypnotised by the rotation of the eezo core, the medlab where she'd be in danger of being drugged and set upon by Nurse Kitty or Augie's own cabin where she'd be in danger of him banging on about regulations until her head felt like it would explode.

So, mess it was then. Beth settled back into her seat, unfolded her sniper rifle and set it before her. Death From Afar had been lasered into it, courtesy of Ash. Beth was in the middle of fitting a scramrail to the weapon when she heard soft footsteps approaching. She turned her head to see Liara approach. "Hi," she said.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting you to be working here. I can leave if I'm in the way?"

Bethany gestured to the seat opposite, "Please, sit. I was just upgrading my gear."
Liara sat and silently watched the human at work. Bethany's hands, lightly stained with lubricants were difficult to look away from. Her long, nimble fingers, topped with red nail-polish, seemed to all but dance across the sniper rifle. To Liara, it was like watching a master harpist plucking strings and creating music to move the very soul. Goddess preserve me!

Beth looked up from her work, mistaking the look of rapture in the asari's eyes for an intense interest in firearms. "I'm fitting scramrails onto this," she explained. "A sniper rifle with one scramrail kills your target. A sniper rifle with two scrammies kills your target and anything unfortunate enough to be standing directly behind it." She paused before saying, "It's awesome to see."

Liara blinked, "I see..."

Bethany laughed lightly, "It's cool, you don't have to pretend to understand."

Liara's skin deepened as she spoke, "May I ask a personal question of you?"

"Sure," Beth replied, collapsing the rifle and resting it beside the table. Next she picked up and unfolded the shotgun. A single word had been etched into it: Boomstick. Beth considered possible upgrades. Probably the best combination might be a scrammie and frictionless materials to reduce heat build up.

Liara took a deep breath. This was the question that would decide whether she even had, as Chief Williams was wont to say, a snowball's chance in Hell with Bethany. "Bethany...is there a...Mister Shepard?"

Intent on her work, Bethany didn't look up and thus didn't see the look of earnest longing on Liara's face. "Sure," she began. Unseen, Liara's face fell. "But we usually just call him 'dad' or by rank if it's a formal occasion."

Liara let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. "Oh. I meant...is there somebody special in your life?"

Bethany snapped the scramrail into the upgrade housing on the shotgun. "Aside from my family?"

"Yes."

Bethany shrugged, "Only Mister Darcy."

"Oh...he is your partner?" Liara asked quietly. She didn't want to know. But at the same time, she had to know. The pain as her hopes were crushed would be easier to bear than the uncertainty of not knowing she reasoned with herself. She was surprised by Bethany's laugh.

"Ah, no, Liara. Mister Darcy's my dog. Rottweiler. I love him. Rotties are beautiful, intelligent animals and you can train them to kill people. What's not to love?"

Her dog! Mister Darcy was a pet dog! Oh Goddess, thank you! Thank you!

Bethany laid the shotgun aside, reached for a sidearm. A thought struck her. It occurred to her that the thought should have struck a good deal earlier. "Why do you ask?"

"May I speak plainly?"

Bethany bit her lower lip. "I think that would be best."

"Bethany, I find myself...drawn to you and I cannot say why," Liara began, wide blue eyes holding Bethany's green ones.

Well golly gee fuck! There it is. She's coming onto me. At least she isn't sitting there half-naked and trying to mind-fuck me.

Feeling extremely awkward, Liara reached out her right hand and gently laid it on Bethany's. She immediately jerked it away as though it had burned her. "I am sorry, I should not have done that!"

"Yeah, that lubricant's a bitch to clean off. Seriously Liara, I'm flattered that you're interested in me but..." Did she really want to do this? Just say I want to be friends and just stomp all over Liara's hopes and dreams?

Bethany closed her eyes and cursed silently. Things like this were why she'd long since given up on relationships. Too complicated. These days, it was just her and Mister Darcy. Dogs were everything people weren't - unfailingly loyal, incorruptible, and, when compared to some of the men she'd lived with, had impeccable grooming.

"You just want to be friends?" Liara said for her. "I..understand."

"Liara I'd like for us to be friends. And not just friends you call up when you want to bitch about how shit your life is but real, proper friends. I don't want for things between us to be...compromised by...other things. I'll understand if you can't do that but I'd be grateful if you could."

As she spoke, Bethany wiped her hands on a cloth and gently took Liara's hand in a sisterly manner. She felt Liara's muscles tense up then relax. Liara nodded mutely. "I would like that, Bethany. I would like for us to be 'proper friends.'"

"I'm glad," Bethany said and smiled. She felt a weight she hadn't know she'd been carrying suddenly lift from her. Crisis averted. She'd quit smoking and negotiated love's rocky road, all in the space of a couple of hours. Bethany smirked. She rocked. Hard.

"But what of you and Nurse Kitty? Are you two 'an item'?"

"Nurse Kitty is every fifteen year old boy's wet dream come true. Too bad for her I'm not a fifteen year old boy." Beth shook her head. "I'm not into women, Liara. She tried to make me think I was and I was even part of the way there but my brother helped me realise I'm not."

"How did the Commander make you realise?" Liara gasped.

"I hope you're not thinking Augie and I did the nasty. Because that would be so wrong on so many levels."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to imply...that.."

Bethany raised a hand, "Actually he wired me up to a heart monitor and we looked at pictures of naked chicks on the extranet."

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

"Alright. You know how when you look at a person you find really attractive and you can feel your heart start to pound in your chest?"

Liara averted her eyes, said simply, "Yes."

"Augie figured that if my engine started to rev looking at pictures of naked chicks, then it might mean-"

"That you are 'into' women?"

"Yeah. Real scientific ain't it?" Bethany drawled.

"What happened?" Liara leaned forward, interested in this peculiar experiment.

"At first, nothing. So we started looking at pics of naked men. Hooo boy, that heart monitor started beeping like mad. Hell, my pulse is up just thinking about some of those boys."

"So you can be reasonably sure that you are not..what is the term, happy?"

Bethany snorted laughter. This was turning out to be the oddest conversation she'd had in a while. "Gay. The term is gay. Or lesbian if you're a chick." Liara just blinked in confusion. She felt that, even if she devoted the next five hundred years of her life to the task, she would still be no closer to understanding humans.

---

"Commander, we're an hour out from the co-ordinates. Looks like it's coming from an asteroid field," Joker reported in.

Standing beside Pressly in the CIC, Commander Shepard nodded, "Activate the stealth systems."

"Aye aye, Commander."

As the stealth systems came online, masking the Normandy's emissions, a faint hum could be heard briefly throughout the ship as the power output from the drive core spiked.

"Any signs of geth ships in the area?" Shepard asked, examining results from a scan Hinz was running.

"Negative," Joker reported. "Either they already came and left and we missed the party,"

"Wouldn't that be a crying shame," Beth muttered from behind her brother. He smiled slightly.

Joker went on, "Or they haven't arrived yet."

"Anything from the asteroid itself? Any distress beacons?" Shepard queried.

"Sir," Hinz spoke up, "I'm picking up energy signatures from the asteroid. The signatures indicate a standard Alliance-issue science facility. No distress signals either." Hinz pushed back a strand of black hair behind her ear before shooting a glance at Shepard's sister. Maybe she was wrong and the whole trip would be a wild goose chase. Hinz shrugged. They were getting paid either way.

Shepard turned to Beth and spoke quietly so they wouldn't be overheard. "Are you sure this is the right area of space?"

Hands shoved deep into her pockets, Beth rocked back on her heels before answering. "A hundred percent sure? No. But you have to admit that the presence of an installation where there shouldn't be one is kinda iffy, yeah?"

Shepard nodded. "We need to work out squad assignments," he said.

"What do you recommend?"

Shepard answered, "I'll be bringing Williams and Private Fredericks with me. I want you to lead squad two."

Bethany's jaw dropped open, revealing a wad of thoroughly chewed gum lying limply on her tongue. She snapped her mouth closed and resumed chewing. "Me? A squad leader? Dunno if you checked my files but I was never a squad leader," she paused, "Except for those three hours back in '73 after Corporal Kristy took a round through the chest. She gave me a kind of resigned look as the medic went to work and said, 'guess you're in charge now' and passed out. Hell!"

Shepard laid a hand on her shoulder, looked into her eyes, "Beth, I have faith in you. You could have been an officer, if you'd gone through OCS."

Bethany laughed, "Now you're just taking the piss. I barely passed high school. Officer Candidate School? Us grunts learned to fear newly-minted second lieutenants right out of the academy. So full of their own self-importance and intent on showing some general or admiral just how good they are at getting their troops killed. Officers," she spoke the word with a kind of weary loathing. "Ah, no offence."

Shepard shrugged. "I think you should include Liara and Tali'zorah. I like to bring a balanced team with me. Since I can handle biotics and most technical issues, I usually bring along Williams."

"You bring along Williams so you can ogle her butt while she's on point," Bethany teased. "But yeah, I see your point. I'll ask them if they want to place their lives in my hands. I'm sure they'll be thrilled," she deadpanned.

Beth leaned against the mess hall table, chewing a ration bar. The foil packaging declared the ration bar to be blueberry flavoured. Instead it tasted to Bethany like cardboard soaked in water and liberally sprinkled with sawdust. She smiled to herself as her jaw worked; some things never changed. Seated nearby were Tali'Zora and Liara. Bethany had chosen the mess to brief her 'squad' because it seemed like a nice relaxed place.

The small digital music player Bethany had brought aboard sat on the table, playing Oasis' D'you Know What I Mean? Bethany hummed along to the chorus, thinking it rather apt:

All my people, right here, right now
D'you know what I mean? Yeah yeah
All my people, right here, right now
D'you know what I mean? Yeah yeah, yeah yeah

She shut the player off, wrapped the foil around the remainder of the ration bar and tucked it into her pocket. Dusting her hands on her blouse, she turned to the asari and quarian. Liara looked steadily at her. Tali's visor looked blankly at her. Bethany leaned forward, checking her reflection in the visor. She noticed a small piece of waterlogged cardboardy sawdust lodged between her teeth and extricated it with the tip of her tongue. Beth smiled; Tali was like having a portable mirror along. A portable mirror that could hack geth CPU cores and blow their arms off with a point-blank shotgun blast.

"So, we're making this drop to the research station and we have next to no idea what we'll be facing. Look, I'll level with you both: I have almost no experience leading a squad and just between us girls, I think my brother's lost his everloving mind, putting me in charge like this."

Tali spoke up then, "Commander Shepard is a shrewd judge of character, Bethany. If he feels you can handle the responsibility then you should trust his judgement."

Liara nodded agreement, "Tali is right. We have faith in you." Liara resisted the urge to lay a reassuring hand on her friend's arm. This wasn't right place for such gestures.

Bethany shrugged. "I appreciate the support but to be blunt, if I fuck things up, in all likelihood, it'll be you two who pay for my mistakes. So, I'm asking you...actually, I'm ordering you to pull me up if I tell you to do something stupid. Pull me up and bitch-slap me."

Liara nodded, more to appease Bethany than anything else. "Very well. We will 'bitch-slap' you if you order us to do something foolhardy."

Beth looked from Liara to Tali and spoke, "Alright, then. Here's the rules of engagement: if it has more than two legs, shoot it. If it's synthetic, shoot it. If it points a gun at you, shoot it. If it looks at you funny, shoot it. Basically..."

"Shoot everything?" Tali asked doubtfully. Though most of the engagements she'd been involved in with the Commander had indeed resulted in their being forced to shoot everything that moved, the Commander always attempted to mediate issues peacefully.

Bethany shrugged, "Like I say, I'm not cut out for this. I'd be better off in Augie's squad and you two would be better off with Williams in charge."

This time, Liara did place a reassuring hand on her friend's arm. The simple contact was nice; Bethany's arm was warm and the feel of the fine hairs against Liara's hand sent a thrill up her spine. "Bethany, you asked us to bitch-slap you if you did something stupid. Doubting yourself and your abilities at this point isstupid." Liara looked into the other woman's eyes. Eyes that were a little wider than before, the pupils dilating.

Bethany inhaled a deep breath, blew it out slowly. She nodded once, firmly. "You're right. You're right. Thanks."

Liara nodded silently. Bethany continued her half-assed briefing, sounding more sure of herself. "Alright. Zorah, you're handling tech support and jamming hostile weapons and shields."

Tali nodded. "Liara, you're on crowd control duty."
The asari's head tilted to one side, a silent question.

"I mean, use your biotic jujitsu to break up enemy movements - throw 'em back, levitate the bugs or whatever it is you do."

"Oh yes, I understand."

Beth crossed her arms over her chest, counting the number of ways this op could go wrong. She stopped counting when she hit 176 - she was depressing herself. In a way, she was the perfect person to lead Liara and Tali - neither of them possessed any kind of formal military training that she knew of yet both had survived countless battles and skirmishes whilst aboard the Normandy. Of course, they'd had a certain Spectre backing them up. Pushing her thoughts aside, Bethany stood up, straightened her uniform pants and gestured for the others to fall in. "Let's get suited up."