AN:
Disclaimer: As mentioned before, I do not own Harry Potter or anything that comes with the HP universe. In addition to that I want to state, that at the end of this chapter the two opening paragraphs of Jane Austen's novel Pride and Prejudice, first published in 1813, are quoted.
In case anyone has wondered: This reference explains my choice of a cover picture for this story. :)
I really am grateful for your constant support and I'm always happy to read your thoughts and insights.
Now, please enjoy. And maybe have a little bit of chocolate.
Pansy sat upright in the hospital bed and had some tea, buttered toast, and some pain soothing potion for breakfast. Before the meal, the healer had provided her with the means to wash herself. Every muscle in Pansy's body felt sore. The food and the potion helped her to feel a little bit better. Madame Pomfrey had explained earlier to her that Professor Slughorn had brought her in the previous day and she had been unconscious for almost twenty four hours. Pansy had woken up on her own accord. That unfortunately did not mean that she was cured. Madame Pomfrey had explained further that the reason for Pansy's blackout was a curse nested in the scar on her chest. Pansy had feared that something like that would happen ever since her clash with the wicked witch after the cancelled wedding. Pansy hated that women. Lestrange did not only order to murder Marianne. Even from her grave, Lestrange played with Pansy like a cat with its prey. She resented the feeling of being externally controlled in such a sinister way.
The school healer had also announced that Professor Weasley would visit Pansy in her next free period, as the professor was both a curse breaker and experienced in taking care of wounds inflicted by Lestrange. Pansy wondered how Madame Pomfrey knew that Draco's aunt was the one who wounded her. She herself had not been in the position to tell the healer about it.
Pansy put the breakfast tray on the cupboard beside her bed. She could hardly wait for the consultation with Professor Weasley and dreaded the visit at the same time. She wanted to get rid of the curse but did not want to relive the incident again. The professor would probably ask a lot of questions. Pansy wished that she had something to distract her. Someone had brought her the diary, but she rather not wanted to dwell in bad memories at the moment. A book would have been nice. Homework. Or anything else to read. Just sitting there and waiting sucked.
Pansy remembered Professor Weasley from the time she had been Fleur Delacour, Beauxtabon triwizard champion and object of desire of everyone who was into girls. Rumor had it that she was part veela. It turned out to be true. Pansy had been quite taken with the French girl, though she had not understood why. She had not known herself or she had been in denial back than. Maybe both. In class Professor Weasley's thrall did not effect her anymore. Perhaps because Pansy had seriously fallen in love with someone else?
At ten o'clock the door of the hospital wing finally opened and Professor Weasley stepped in. Pansy was shocked to see that Hermione accompanied the professor. What was she doing here? What did she know? Did she care? Had she seen the scar? Pansy fumbled with the buttons of her top. All were closed. How did she look? Pansy tried comb her hair with fingers. Why in Merlin's name did she smell like she had been dipped in mint essence?
„Good morning, Miss Parkinson. Madame Pomfrey told you, that I was coming?", Professor Weasley greeted her. „I hope you don't mind that I asked Hermione join me, as you both share the experience of being attacked by Bellatrix Lestrange. Actually it was Hermione who advised Madame Pomfrey to consult me in your case. Do you agree that she stays?"
Pansy stared at Hermione and nodded. Hermione gave her a small smile. She seemed to be as nervous as Pansy. The idea that the wicked witch had laid her hand on Hermione made Pansy's heart ache. The other girl and the professor took a seat beside the bed. Pansy could not take her eyes from Hermione.
„What happened to you?" she asked.
Hermione rolled up the left sleeves of her school uniform, first from the gray jumper, than from the shirt. She stretched out her arm for Pansy to examine. Pansy sat up and took the hand that was offered to her and read the word scratched with thin white lines into the flesh. MUDBLOOD. With the fingers of her free hand Pansy stroked lightly over the harmed skin. A tiny voice in the back of her mind was relived that Hermione did not jerk her arm away under the touch.
„It happened during the Easter break. According to Draco it was only a few days after you were attacked. Harry, Ron, and I were captured and taken to Malfoy Manor. Lestrange feared that we had something of hers and started to torture me for answers", Hermione said.
„But the cuts on your arm look fine", Pansy observed.
„Lestrange didn't put a curse in it", Professor Weasley explained.
„Why?" Pansy asked. She had a hunch. It made her stomach turn.
Hermione swallowed hard and looked down.
„Lestrange didn't intent to let me survive the night at Malfoy Manor. Greyback was supposed to have his way with me after she was finished. She cut me to cause pain and humiliation in that moment. She did not waste her time to curse someone who would be dead shortly afterwards", Hermione said.
Pansy squeezed her hand. Hermione squeezed back. Both let go after a moment. Pansy immediately felt the loss of the contact.
„As you can see Hermione was rescued in time together with Harry and Ron", Professor Weasley said. „They were brought to my husbands and my home. With them came the dagger Lestrange had used to wound her. I've kept the dagger to investigate it." The blond woman reached for her bag. „Please don't be alarmed, I'm going to show it to you now to ask you if it is the same she used on you. Alright?"
Pansy nodded. Professor Weasley took a box out of her bag. She opened the lid with a tap of her wand while muttering a code word and presented the content to Pansy. She recognized it immediately. The dark metal, the shape of the blade, the ornaments on the handle, the Black family crest.
„Yes, that is the same dagger, Professor Weasley", Pansy said.
The curse breaker nodded.
„Good. That is a blessing in disguise, because now I have some inklings on how to proceed. The dagger is laced with some active dark magic - curses waiting to be called. These curses cannot be found in the Standard Book of Curses for Beginners or Advanced Learners. We are talking about a very powerful witch. The curse in your scar is one of Lestrange's own designs like the dagger as a means of transport for it."
Pansy's head swam with all the information Professor Weasley gave her with this matter of fact voice. It was different from the manner Dryground had talked to her. The way the curse breaker spoke to her gave Pansy the hope that Professor Weasley actually knew what she was talking about unlike so many other teachers of Defense against the Dark Arts they had in the past.
„Once a curse is called, it is gone from the dagger. It cannot be identified by examining the weapon." The blond women flipped some strands of hair over her shoulder. She sighed. „Now here comes a catch. If the carrier of the curse is an object, I can often simply go by trial and error or by destroying the carrying object. As you are a living person, this is not an option. In order to break the curse without harming you, I have to know how it works."
Great. Pansy had to wait again, that someone else would find some answers that her well being or happiness depended on. This time it was her health, even her life. Hot and cold showers went through her body. Professor Weasley fetched a notebook and a pencil out of her bag. She scanned some of her notes.
„From what Madam Pomfrey told me and my examination of your scar yesterday evening, I suspect that the curse is triggered rather than something that gets stronger over the time. I don't think the curse she used on you is designed to kill you but rather to punish you when you least expect it." She leaned forward a bit. Her voice became softer. „I need to ask you some personal questions to identify any possible trigger. Madam Pomfrey told me that you disguised the scar under a glamour?"
Pansy swallowed. A thin layer of sweat had formed on her face.
„Yes, Professor. But I did that already when I returned to school after the Easter break. I had to move out of the head girl's quarters back into the seven year dorm again. The scar itched but I never had a break down like this."
The professor scribbled something down and drew some lines to some older notes. Pansy tried to read some of it upside down, but the handwriting looked as if a spider had fallen into an ink well and run in panic over the page. The crossing lines did not help.
„I see. Nevertheless, you shouldn't continue to hide the scar with magic. The glamour might not act as a trigger. As you described yourself, the scar reacts to it can make the effect of the curse worse in the long run", she said. Professor Weasley looked up again. „You got some bad news the other day. I understand that you are grieving for someone who was close to you. Is that right?"
Pansy nodded. She tried to speak but her voice failed her.
„It's OK, Pansy. You don't have to go into detail now. What exactly did you do when you broke down?" Professor Weasley asked again.
The use of her first name startled her but also soothed her. Pansy cleared her throat. Still no sound came out of her mouth.
„We had Potions. Professor Slughorn presented us with a cauldron of Amortentia. I think, everyone of us got a nose full of the steam and had a happy moment", Hermione answered for her. Pansy nodded thankfully.
Professor Weasley made a last note, drew some lines, and put away her notebook. She stood up.
„I think, I have a bit of homework to do now. You have given me some traces to follow. For the moment, there is nothing much you can do. Only observe yourself carefully. Whenever you feel the scar reacting to something, come to me or Madam Pomfrey immediately", Professor Weasley said. „Try not to worry too much. With joint forces, we will find a solution."
She waved her good-bye and left Pansy alone with Hermione. The other girl sat quietly by her bed while she tried to process what she had just heard. After a few minutes, Pansy felt confident to use her voice again.
„Thank you for your help", Pansy said. „Given our history, this is nothing I can take for granted."
Hermione only nodded and blushed. She made no attempts to leave. Pansy was glad that Hermione stayed. She tried not to get lost in the details of the other girl's features - these warm dark brown eyes, the golden reflexes in the mess of brown hair, those few freckles on bridge of her nose. Pansy wracked her brain to find something to say. Anything, really, that was suitable for a reasonably normal conversation. Nothing that floated through Pansy's mind met that kind of standard. ‚So, you have been maimed by Lestrange as well. Fancy that, hu?!' just was not an acceptable opening line. Oh, wait! There was one thing that might work.
„You have talked to Draco?" Pansy asked.
Hermione exhaled heavily and smiled.
„I met him here after I consulted with Madam Pomfrey about, you know, your scar. He brought you your things", she said and waved at Pansy's diary. With a little frown she added: „Malfoy told me about the arranged marriage that you blasted. A marriage to trade money and influence between families. That sounded like a dark Jane Austen novel." She laughed nervously. More sober she added: „I'm sorry. I didn't want to intrude. This is pretty private stuff."
Pansy's mind was on hyper drive. Hermione seemed to have learned quite a lot about her. She must have so many questions. She would not be Hermione if she did not have any questions. Pansy wanted her to have questions. She wanted Hermione to understand her. And she wanted to tell her these things herself. She really did. Only it would be nice, if they had some kind of friendly talking basis first. Pansy leaped on the one neutral aspect in the other girl's answer to keep the conversation going.
„Jane who?"
Hermione grinned.
„Jane Austen. She was a Muggle writer and lived between 1775 and 1817, during the Regency Era. People lived in a tight corset of conventions. Back than a women of a certain rank had only very little choices, mostly between marriage, spinsterhood, or becoming a governess." Pansy flinched at that. Her mind strayed to Marianne for a moment. „Marriage out of love was a luxury. In her novels Jane Austen granted her heroines that luxury no matter how precarious their situation was in the beginning."
Pansy smiled. Hermione had switched into her lecturing voice. Yes. This qualified as a reasonably normal conversation with the know-it-all.
„Is there any novel you can recommend especially?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows.
„You want to read two hundred year old Muggle literature?"
Pansy shrugged.
„The promise of a happy ending sounds quite tempting. Madame Pomfrey wants to keep me a few more days in here for observation. I can't make homework the whole time."
„Try Pride and Prejudice first. I can borrow it to you if you don't mind pencil scribblings in the margins. I have my copy at Hogwarts."
„Yeah. That would be great. Thank you."
Pansy tried not to smile to wide. If Hermione borrowed her the book, she had to visit her at least one more time, maybe even during the day. It was something to go on.
Luna entered the hospital wing, her arms full with books and parchment. That looked terribly like homework.
„So, you have made a new friend", Hermione said, smiling warmly in the direction of the blond.
„Yes", Pansy answered. She shrugged. „I have no idea, how that happened."
„Perhaps it is because of the Wrackspurts flying around your head", Hermione said. „She will help you to get rid of them."
Pansy suppressed the urge to flap her hands around her head in panic.
„I beg your pardon?"
Hermione grinned.
„Never mind. Just don't question it. The friendship, I mean. It is a good thing to have Luna as a friend. Sometimes odd, but good." Hermione said. She waited till Luna reached the bed.
„Good morning Luna", she greeted the Rawenclaw girl. „I'll leave you two alone."
„Hello, good to see you. I've missed you at breakfast", Luna answered. „You want to go already?"
„Yes. I said, I would meet Harry and Ginny in the library", Hermione said. She stood up. „And Ron of course. Do you want to join us later?"
Luna agreed. Hermione turned to Pansy. There was that small smile again, the came mostly from the eyes rather than the lips.
„See you later."
With that Hermione left. Pansy watched the retreating figure till it was out of the door.
„What does she see in him?" Pansy asked herself.
„Ron is a decent guy. They have been friends since they were eleven years old. They have been through thick and thin together." Luna answered.
Pansy jumped a little. Did she actually said that out loud?
„That sounds like a good friend. But why is she with him?" Pansy asked. This time she directed the question at Luna. „He is not exactly boy friend material for her."
„She has been paining for him for so long. She needs to experience how it is to be with him to realize that this is not what she really wants."
„Its just painful to watch."
„Only for those who have a special interest in her", Luna said.
„Luna!" Pansy shouted out in surprise. Luna looked at Pansy with her large blue eyes and a airy smile. There was no ill will or gloating. Still, Pansy felt caught red-handed. Internally she agreed with Rawenclaw girl. Pansy was biased when it came to Hermione's choice of love interests. Could she admit that to Luna? It would be the first time to say it out loud that she was into girls, especially into Hermione. Pansy was not quite prepared for that. Than again, Luna seemed to know her greatest secret already.
„How did you know?" Pansy asked.
„I see the way you look at her." As if Luna sensed her uneasiness, she added: „It's OK. I had a soft spot for Ginny once. If you look around, you find a lot more people who are into the same sex. Well, in Slytherin not so many, I guess."
Pansy was irritated by Luna's frankness with this topic, with girls fancying girls or boys liking boys for that matter. She envied Luna for her carefreeness.
„And now? Do you still fancy Ginny?" Pansy asked, testing the waters. It was indeed quite liberating to be able to have some simple girl talk about these things.
„Not anymore. She is one of my best friends. And there is no arguing that Ginny and Harry belong together."
Luna fumbled in the pockets of her robes. She finally found what she was looking for in the hood of her cloak. It was a yellow radish. Luna tethered it on the head part of her bed with blue string.
„Here. That is charm to keep away the Wrackspurts. They enter your head your ears and make your brain go fuzzy", Luna said. Pansy could not help herself. She looked around to find one. Luna added: „You know, they're invisible. Normally you can keep them away with happy thoughts. But at the moment, I think you need some help with that."
Pansy did not know if she wanted to laugh of cry. Hermione was right. Having Luna as a friend was good. Sometimes a little bit odd, but good.
###
When she was alone again, Pansy finally allowed herself to cry for Marianne. After she ran from McGonagall's office she had locked herself in the Room of Requirements where she was overwhelmed by guilt for her nanny's death and rage against Lestrange. At some point in the night she ran out of energy and simply fell like an empty shell into a bed that the room provided for her.
The excitement of the day - the echo of the torture and her sore muscles, the news that she got an incalculable curse lurking in her chest above her heart, blossoming out new friendships, her grief - took their toll. Pansy fell asleep. When she woke up, she found the copy of Pride and Prejudice together with a little box sitting beside her diary on the cupboard. A handwritten note sticked out between the pages of the book. It said:
„I always find that a good story should be enjoyed together with some good chocolate. If you have any questions, please ask. H."
Pansy felt a little sting that she had missed Hermione's second visit. She let her fingers glide over the handwriting. The note invited her to come and find Hermione, if she had questions. Pansy opened the little box and found some of Honeydukes finest chocolate truffles inside. She regarded the treats and decided that this was not only just a polite gesture but an honest invitation. At least she hoped that it was. Pansy wanted the chance to spend time with Hermione without pretending to be someone else like she had done in the past.
She opened the book, inhaled the scent, flipped to the first chapter, and read:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
Pansy was enraptured. What an opening! These first two paragraphs alone dripped already with irony and wit - and scratched on the surface of some truth universally acknowledged. She liked the idea. Pansy read on. She enjoyed the light and ironic tone of the narrator and looked forward to the promised happy ending. Deep in thoughts she reached into the box full of chocolate. She plunged into Elizabeth Bennet's world while one truffle melted most deliciously on her tongue.
