Title: The World I Know
Disclaimer: I do not own DC Comics or any of their characters.
Un-betaed version. If you notice any mistakes, please email or pm me. Thanks.
In answer to a previous question, there will be at least 14 or 15 chapters to this story. I finally managed to hash out a plot for it! Enjoy and thanks for the reviews!
"So I walk up on high, and I step to the edge, to see my world below, and I laugh to myself, as the tears roll down, cause it's the world I know, it's the world I know…"– Collective Soul
Flashback
It was her faith that made her Wonder Woman.
And it was her faith that led him to indecision, to standing there on a balcony, simultaneously wanting to go to her, to join her as she slumbered, and wanting to return to Gotham, to the darkness and shadows that were such an integral part of his life.
So, mind tumbling with thoughts and oddly wracked with indecision, he stood where he was, watching her sleep as the sun made its way through the sky.
For the next hour, as the sun blazed its trail through the sky, illuminating Earth and bringing him out of the shadows, but not off her balcony, he wondered why he was still here, why there was still no decision yet reached within the confines of his mind. He was as yet undecided, unsure, and a part of him ached at the thought of making this decision, of the possibilities that could be ahead with Diana at his side and at the possibility of turning her away, of pushing away the feelings that she brought forth in him so easily.
She was like no other woman he had ever known – a pacifist warrior who often had to use her fists in order to pursue the trust and love that she wanted this world to understand and know. But she also spoke out about understanding and the faith that she carried so strongly in her heart. In some ways, she was like Kent in that way, using her image and her face in the public, in the media, in order to talk about her ideals and her ideas for peace.
He, on the other hand, was purely a figure of the shadows and the darkness. At least, as Batman. While as Bruce Wayne, he had done a number of charity events and donated more dollars than he could count towards various enterprises and groups, even hosted balls and assorted occasions to raise money and awareness.
But as Batman, he preferred a deeper, darker raising of awareness, an awareness in the criminal element of the horror and judgment he could unleash, if provoked. He wasn't a man of faith and goodness and he wasn't sure that he ever could be. A part of him also realized that sometimes those traits were needed just as much as Diana's, that others turned to him in order to do the work that they could not do, the threatening and doling out the harsh punishments that others could not do.
He sometimes felt as though he lived in a different world that the rest of the heroes of Earth, that few, if any, could truly understand the horrors of Gotham and the past that he had faced in order to make him Batman. But he had worked with Diana before and he knew that she, probably more than any other he had partnered with in the past, knew what he was about and what he was capable of.
Although, he would probably never refer to it in her presence as a partnership. Batman simply wasn't known for that kind of terminology or that kind of attitude.
But, watching her sleep, a part of him longed for a certain partnership that could spring up between himself and Diana, one that could involve happiness, that emotion that had eluded him for so long now. He could see it – the mornings spent sleeping in bed, wrapped in each other; working side by side in order to conquer a foe and further their missions; the quiet moments at home in the Manor with Alfred for company and maybe even the possibility of little ones underfoot.
His heart filled with longing and his hands clenched in fear. A piece of him wasn't sure that he was ready or even destined for happiness, if one believed in such things. He was the last of a house long broken by murder and the corruption of others.
And he wasn't sure that, in the end, he would be the one who could pick up the pieces and once again forge The Wayne name and the legacy of his family.
He wasn't sure if he was worried that he would have to and couldn't, or that he would try and ultimately fail. It hurt him to admit that he was cowardly inside, but failure wasn't an option. Not to him, not to Bruce or to Batman.
Hunching into the corner of the balcony, he placed his curled fist against the sheen of glass that separated him from Diana's room. Closing his eyes, he wondered if he had the strength to choose, the strength to decide which direction to go in – towards this woman or away from her. Opening his eyes again, he saw the woman asleep in the bed, beautiful as any dream, and then looked down at himself, at the cape that streamed along the balcony floor, at the gloves that shielded his hands, felt the coolness of the cowl against his face, and he realized he had no choice.
He was the Batman. He would always be the Batman. There was no other choice for him.
Glancing up, he saw the patient, laughing face of the Amazon Princess looking at him through the balcony windows, crouched down, her fingers nestled against his, only cold glass in between the two hands. And the look, the semblance of a touch, broke his heart, but somehow eased his mind.
Taking his hand away from the glass, he hid his fist within the fold of the cape and, glancing at the smiling blue eyes of Diana, stood, wrapping cape around himself and cloaking himself in his dignity and quiet reserve.
Wondering if him quietness was a result of embarrassment at being caught outside her room or because he had come to inform her that he still didn't believe her, Diana didn't know. But she didn't know that nothing would come of him standing outside when he could be standing inside, with her, instead of staring at her through a pane of glass.
Pulling open the sliding door, she asked softly, "Would you like to come in, Bruce?"
He sent her a chiding chance, as if irritated that she had used his name out in the open, no matter that no one else was around and that her tone was so low few would hear it anyway. Still, without further hesitation, he entered the bedroom of the Amazon Princess, striding past her where she stood, garbed in a white linen shift, her dark hair flowing down her back in a curly mass.
"Care for some breakfast?" Diana asked him as she walked to her closet and threw on a long cotton robe over the length of her nightgown. "I imagine you've had a long night and I can't promise much in the way of nourishment, but I make a mean omelet."
In fact, she thought to herself, it was about the only thing that she could manage to make for herself in the kitchen. Her cooking ability was decidedly lacking, but sometime during her stay in Man's World, she had learned that eggs were her specialty and that everyone needed to fend for themselves, at least a little bit, in the way of the culinary arts.
And so, omelets were Diana's dish.
Placing her feet into bunny slippers, she shuffled out to the hall, glancing back at Batman's startled expression.
"What?" she asked, laughing at how his face seemed to want to collapse in laughter, but somehow managed to hold himself back. "I'm entitled to one little oddity, right? Plus, they're so warm and comfortable, I just can't seem to get rid of them."
A part of him knew at that moment that no matter what passed between them this morning, no matter how hurt she might be and how disappointed he would be at turning her love away, he would always carry a little piece in his heart of the woman who spoke of justice and peace and wore bunny slippers around the house.
How did one resist someone like that?
But he would, at least on the outside.
Following her into the kitchen of the embassy, he wondered how this woman had managed to get him so entangled in her and the feelings she seemed to awaken in him. He watched as she opened the fridge and removed a carton of eggs and a handful of vegetables. She turned to the cutting board on the counter and began to chop and dice the onion and peppers and he idly wondered if turning down Wonder Woman while she was holding a sharp implement was perhaps not his best decision.
Still, he had to do it.
"Diana," he murmured, "I can't be who you need me to be."
Without turning, she continued to chop her vegetables in a rhythmic motion, almost as if she hadn't heard his words. But then she, in the midst of her chopping, returned quietly, "I'm not asking you to be anyone other than who you are, Bruce."
He ignored her words. Perhaps she wasn't asking him aloud if he would follow her mission, if he would give up the darkness and turn to the light, but she would, eventually, she'd want him to. And he couldn't do it. He couldn't give up the part of him that was Batman alone, that was vengeance and the night, no matter how much he longed for this vision of loveliness to be in his life.
He was darkness personified and he couldn't make it in her world. And he didn't want her to become a part of his, to drag her down into the despair and grit that was Gotham.
"I can't do it, Diana, I can't be someone else."
She finally turned to look at him, nothing but calmness and a quiet understanding in her eyes. "I fell in love with who you are, Bruce, not someone else. I don't want you to change."
"You will," he murmured, assured in that if nothing else.
"I know you, Bruce. And I know that you will believe whatever you want to believe, regardless of what I tell you." She left her vegetables lying on the cutting board, half chopped, to come over to him and run a finger down his face, wishing that she could see his eyes as she made her stand, here, in the kitchen. Cupping his chin, she reached up and gently, softly slid her lips along his in a tender kiss that bespoke of her love and everything other emotion that she felt for him.
"I love you, Bruce," she stated quietly, all the more effective for her assurance and ease in saying it. He wanted to give in, but he knew that he had already made his decision and there was no turning back. She continued and he could see a hint of resignation in her eyes, but also the wealth of emotions that had filled her kiss.
"It's a gift, Bruce, something you can choose whether or not to accept. It will always be there and I can promise you only that it won't lessen, but deepen with time, with every meeting of our eyes, every time we pair up on a mission, every beat of my heart and thought of you."
"I'm not a fickle woman, Bruce," she murmured, gently caressing the stubbly skin of his face uncovered by the cowl. Releasing him, she turned again to her vegetables, continuing the chopping motion as she again considered what a challenge she'd made for herself in loving this man.
"And in time, perhaps you can accept my gift…" and before she even finished the sentence, she knew that he was gone and that part of her heart had gone with him.
Next chapter: Please Remember Me – Diana "talks" to Donna…
Please review!
Even with the alerts down, I'm watching the stats like a hawk, so help me out!
To Reviewer Lauren – You're right – a knight does need his princess! And I think that eventually he will be able to get in touch with and express his feelings. But he's still the Bat and that could take awhile. So I hope you enjoy it!
To Reviewer T – A kiwi, huh? See, I was so close! I knew my Lord of the Rings moment was onto something. Sounds like you've lived all over though – that has to be really interesting. I would love to get to Scotland one of these days. And I imagine Singapore is an intriguing place as well.
The Titans changed around quite a bit during the course of the comic. Of course, so does everything else. It's like one giant soap opera! Donna's sister, Donna, is a perfect example. She lives, she dies, she comes back again. It's a little weird! I never actually watched the cartoon for the Titans, but perhaps I'll get to it one of these days. Better fighting scenes? Hmmm, then I'll definitely have to watch. I love that stuff too! I'm glad that you liked it and I did manage to come up with a plot all on my own! Yay!
Oh, and for the Like Angels story, you did almost get the songs right. For the Depeche Mode song, you gave me the album instead of the song, but I think that's close enough! So if you want a one-shot, just let me know!
