Majorly LATE chapter, i know. And... I have a reason. but you don't want to hear it. The chapter isn't exactly long either, but I'm uploading two chapters, (i would've made it into one, but they didn't go well together) On with the story!

-idontownnaruto-


Chapter 7: Determination

I stayed as far away from mirrors and scales as I could. I couldn't take myself anymore. If I wasn't me, I would've probably committed suicide by now. That's what I am. Suicidal, but not exactly. I promised myself something. I promised myself I would become perfect, just like everyone else. Perfect. Everyone says it's not possible to be perfect, but I don't understand it. If it's impossible to be perfect, then why would someone make the word up in the beginning? And, everyone around me looks perfect. No one else has a problem. Everyone is happy. No one is feeling any pain. Well, with the exception of me.

I keep going on and on about how I'm so inferior compared to someone else. I keep repeating the same words over and over. But I still see no difference. I'm not any happier, in fact; I think I became worse then before. My world is full of depression. I'm sick of repeating the same words in my mind. I'm sick of it all. I can already tell, I've lost weight, I'm skinnier now. But how come I'm not any happier? I just feel slow and lazy all the time now. And, if I'm lazy, how can I become stronger. I improved with weapons, but I feel weaker.

I'm supposed to be getting happier, but everything is getting worse. I thought harder as I walked out to the training grounds. Then it finally occurred to me. I still didn't have Sasuke. It was like, he was so much further then me, and I was trying to work my way up to him. He never got any closer though, not even a little bit. I was still chasing him, just like a fan girl. Was I still a fan girl to him? I already knew he could care less about me, but what if he was hiding something. I tried to remember what he said to me at dinner.

'Now, I don't know what it is you're doing, but whatever it is you need to stop. I already told you, everyone is worried about you, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone. I only want to say this one last time. Stop trying to impress me and start eating.'

I knew that thinking he cared about me would only hurt me more, but I couldn't help myself. There was just something about his words, the way he said them, something about it just didn't seem like the normal Sasuke.

'…everyone is worried about you, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone.'

Did that mean he was worried too? No, it couldn't. Sasuke would never care would he?

I kept walking, completely in my own world. My thoughts went wild as I tried to keep up with them. I had to make an extra effort to concentrate. Since I wasn't really paying any attention to my surroundings, I didn't notice someone walking in my direction and I literally ran into them.

"Ow!" I staggered backwards a few steps trying to catch my balance. I was surprised when I saw Sasuke looking down at me. His face impassive. "Sorry." I went to my left to get out of his way but he followed me.

"It's late. You shouldn't be out here." He still spoke in monotone.

"I like to train at night, the weather is cooler." I quickly lied. "Why would you care anyway?" I spat, a little anger in my voice. I regretted the words then. He seemed to care… I was on my way to winning him. But how could I be sure he wasn't acting?

"Go home, Sakura. You look like you could use some rest." He sounded slightly concerned, but he left anyway.

I went on out to the training grounds. Training had already become a part of my daily routine. Every day was the same. I would go out to the bridge, train, and then when everyone left, I would train some more. If I ever got tired, I would be too worn out to go home, so I napped outside, being lulled by the sound of cawing birds and chirping crickets. When I woke up, my muscles ached, so I trudged back home. I would walk strait to the bathroom and sit inside the bathtub relaxing and enjoying the warm water. Then I would go to sleep, and wake up the next morning to go out to the bridge.

Today, however, was different. Kakashi was busy talking about the chunin exam. It was two weeks away, and I couldn't be any more anxious.

"I can't tell you what they're going to do for the exam, but the conditions will be drastic. Since the exam is designed to test your abilities, I will only meet with you a week before the exam. Until then, you're free to train whenever you want to. Use your time wisely." Kakashi left quickly after that, and Sasuke went off too.

I could tell Naruto was planning on asking me to train with him, so I left without giving him a look. The last thing I wanted to do was train with him. Now, without everyone on my case, I could finally be left alone to do whatever I wanted.

A week without Naruto.

A week without Kakashi.

A week without Sasuke.

I smiled to myself for a moment. I was free.

I trained even harder Rock Lee himself. There were times that I couldn't tell if I was actually improving or not. Nevertheless, I would push myself. The exam was the only thing on my mind. That and my other lifelong goal. There was nothing in the world that was more important to me. Just like Sasuke, it was my only reason for living.


I hope the chapter didn't suck as much as I thought it did. Go on, read the next chapter :