Okay, guys, I am telling you all now, I suck at delivering chapters on a regular basis. I'm sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter in before 2013, otherwise I would've felt like a total lazy-ass.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood whatsoever.

Dammit

I was standing in front of Greed in nothing but a see-through nightie. I immediately covered my chest (I was luckily wearing panties) and glared menacingly at Greed, who was staring at my body with smirking eyes.

"So, what do you want?" I asked Greed with anger ringing in each syllable. "And riddle me this, just who the hell put me in this outfit? I swear, I'm going to rip out somebody's throat when I- HEY!"

I was cut off by Greed tackling me to the spacious bed. He nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck and growled seductively.

"I think that's the least of your worries," Greed purred in my ear.

I held my breath as I felt his soft lips and hot tongue gently lick and kiss my neck.

"G-get off," I whispered weakly. "Damn you, Greed. You really live up to your name. Hey, no biting!"

I felt his lips turn into a smile as they pressed against my skin. I was about to say something more when Ling burst through the door with a sword and fire in his slightly opened eyes.

"Greed," he said in the tone of voice that was dripping with infuriation. "Get. Off. Marie. Now."

"Ohh," mocked Greed as he sat upright on top of me despite my protests. "One word sentences. Impressive. What's next, pretty boy, gonna swing your little sword at me?"

Ling launched himself at great with a great force and the sword aimed right at Greed, who jumped off me with no warning, leaving me breathless. Greed grabbed a sword that had been oh-so-conveniently placed on the wall along with its partner. Their swords clashed at lightning speeds against one another with both of them jumping from place to place. It had been a while after I realized how stupid this whole ordeal was.

I rolled my eyes, got up from the bed, and grabbed the other sword hanging on the wall. Then, I did one of the stupidest things I have ever done in my life…I stepped right in the middle of Ling and Greed's sword fight. I'll admit, probably not the smartest idea.

"Yo! Guys!" I yelled waving the sword around like a maniac. "What the hell are you guys doing?!"

They both froze and stood there, shocked at my sudden outburst.

"Uhhh, well," Ling started, but was interrupted by Greed.

"Well, you see, we were just now battling for a girl to prove our manliness, which you, sweet Marie, just ruined." Greed said in a grumpy tone.

"Oh, shut up," I retorted at him, not in the mood for fits. "I'm not in the mood for your stupid pouting faces. Now, someone tell me where I am and just how the hell I came to be here."

"I think I can explain that," said a voice from behind. I whirled around to find a tired looking Fu standing in the doorway with a timid looking Lan Fan behind him. "After you fainted from the blood loss of your wound we decided it was best that we take you here, to our home."

Now that makes sense, I thought as I looked around the room once more. I thought this room looked oriental, I suppose Xing fits that profile. But how did I…

"Say," I said slowly and nervously, "Um, just how did I get in this outfit?"

"I-I d-dressed you i-in it," said Lan Fan, timid and afraid, which made me a bit confused. Was she ever this shy? I thought. My thoughts were interrupted by Lan Fan's small voice, "Does it, um, s-suit you?"

"Heh, well it certainly suits me," Greed said with asmirk. Ling punched him in the arm and he shut up.

"Well, you know, it's okay," I said, cautiously, knowing that I had to phrase it just right so she wouldn't misunderstand. "I really…uh, like it, but, I was wondering if you had anything suitable to actually do stuff, like go to school."

"It's definitely suitable for other things," said Greed and Ling punched him again, shutting him up once more.

"Yes, we do," answered Fu and I sighed with relief. "But considering it's only Saturday morning, I don't imagine you'd want to go to school."

The gloomy look returned to my face, which Ling noticed.

"So, I just stay here until my family returns?" I asked halfheartedly and Fu nodded. Then, Lan Fan scurried over and handed me a kimono. I proceeded in kicking everyone out except Ling.

"Do me a favor and lock the door," I told Ling loud enough for Greed to hear. As Ling did that, I laid out the kimono and marveled at its beauty. It had gorgeous blue flowers with a light aqua under tone. Now, I thought. How to put this on…

"Need help?" asked Ling softly behind me. I nodded without ever taking my eyes off the kimono until I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and he rested his head upon my own.

"Ling?" I said, biting my lips as my eyes grew blurry from swelling tears. "Um, I-"

"It's okay," he said and I burst into muffled sobs as I fell to the floor, Ling's arms never leaving me. "You know I'm here, right?"

"Why?" I said in between my sobs as I desperately tried to cover them up with my arms. "Why does this happen to me? Why can't it happen to someone who, who…"

"Who?" continued Ling, his arms tightening protectively around me.

"Who could handle her school life being invaded and torn apart, being stalked by an old fart of a ninja (Ling smiled at this), getting slashed in the chest, Greed," I ranted and pausing slightly as the tears ran down my red cheeks. "Oh, who am I kidding? No one could handle Greed."

"Mmmm," hummed Ling in agreement. "Go on."

"And someone who knows how to deal with sexual advances," I finally said, out of breath.

Ling paused for a moment, took a breath, and kissed the top of my head.

"You know," He started gently. "If you were the kind of person who couldn't those other things, then you wouldn't be able to make Greed and me breathless the way you do. And as for those sexual advances," He stopped to turn me around so that I faced him and he put his hands on my cheeks endearingly with a loving look in his slightly parted eyes. "Just run over to me and I'll rip out that person's reproductive organs and shove them up their ass."

"Wow," I sniffed, smiling and sighing. "Nerdy and lethal at the same time."

"Want to get the kimono on now?" Ling asked with that heart shattering smile of his.

"Yeah," I answered.

A few minutes later, there were many violent bangs on the door and Greed's voice anger ringing clear as day.

"Ling!" he barked through the door. "If you're doing something to Marie, I'll-"

"You'll what?" I barked back as Ling tied the intricate knot on the kimono. "Come join him?"

Ling chuckled as Greed audibly growled through the door.

"We're almost done, Greed," said Ling as he finished up the knot. "Just don't rip off Marie's clothes the minute she comes out."

I heard Greed sigh in defeat as I unlocked and opened the door separating us. As I stepped out, I saw Greed gulp with wide eyes that were ravishing my body.

"How do I look?" I said, throwing my hands in the air dramatically. "Do I look stunning?"

Greed chuckled and Ling nodded solemnly and seriously.

"It better," said Ling, who crossed his arms. "It was a bitch to get that on you."

"Love you, too, darling," I said through blowing kisses at him.

"So…" I said, awkwardly realizing how I had been acting. "You guys wanna play nerf wars?"

"Sure," they said in unison and walked off to where I guessed they kept their nerf guns.

I slowly took after them, deep in thought.

How the heck did they come to be in my life? I thought, confused about my whole ordeal. I mean… how is any of this possible? Maybe…just maybe I could try… no, I am never trusting anyone again. Not after what he did to me… never.

I walked slowly trying to forget the memories that flooded my mind, having no idea that Fu wasn't the stalker that Ling and Greed had seen following me, nor of the danger that lie in store for me and my world.

Just who is this mysterious boy that haunts Marie's past? Exactly what did he do? What will Ling and Greed do when they find out? Why do they have nerf guns (which I have no association to whatsoever)? And just who is Marie's real stalker?

All will answered randomly throughout the story.

Greed: …

Me: I know, I know, I know! The "Nerf wars" thing was weird and random in a bad way! I know!

Ling: The author would like to say how hard it was to write this while listening to I Dreamed A Dream (Anne Hathaway) on repeat…we know, stupid, right?

Me: Why can't you guys be as good as the story versions?

Story Ling: Because they're wimps and are scared of girls.

Story Greed: The "Nerf wars" thing was still weird, though.

Me: I KNOW!

Marie: Hey! Comment your suggestions, critics, or if you want to see a threesome scene with me, Greed, and Ling! I recommend the third!

Me: No! I will keep this story t-rated!

Marie: *smiles* That's what you think.