Daria raced up to her apartment, taking the stairs two at a time, and burst into it, out of breath. She found Erik still sitting in his chair in front of his TV, engrossed in a Bulgarian comedy. He spared her a brief uninterested glance before going back to his show.

Before she had left, Daria held no expectation that Erik would clean up the mess in her room, and with him unmoved, she was certain her assumption was correct. So, she grabbed a dish towel along with the rotary telephone from the kitchen table; unraveling the lengthy wire from its coil around a small hook on the wall beside it, stretching it out to reach her room.

As she rushed passed Erik to her room she tossed him his cottage cheese. He complained about her being rude but she didn't stick around to listen or apologize.

Daria shut the door behind her and looked down at her bed. She was surprised and pleased to see that the mess had been cleaned up.

"Thank you, Erik!" she called. There was no reply but she knew he had heard.

Daria then sat on her bed, tossing the dish towel to the floor and resting the phone on her lap. She quickly dialed Eugene's number, praying that he was home and hadn't already headed off to a bar.

It rang a few times before Eugene finally answered, blandly, "Allo."

Daria felt relieved. "Oh, good, you're still home. Eugene, I need you," she said hurriedly.

"I knew you'd come around," Eugene joked, suggestively smug.

Daria groaned, "No, not like that, you idi-. I mean, I found Jane; well sort of."

"Who?" Eugene asked. Daria could hear shuffling on his end as if he was sitting up from a prone position.

"Jane! The ex-girlfriend from the ex-life," she explained, trying to not feel annoyed at his dimwittedness.

"Oh, her. What about her?" Eugene said nonchalantly.

Daria took a deep breath, forcing herself to be patient with him because she needed him, and knew that if she insulted him intentionally he would just get more aggravating. And she didn't want to deal with that today. She was happy for the first time in what felt like forever and wanted to stay that way for a little while longer.

"She's here. In our world," she said calmly and evenly.

"Okay," he said slowly. "So, what you need me for?"

"Well...your car…and um, your wonderful company, of course," Daria said hopefully.

"Like, for me to take you to find her?" he questioned unsurely.

"Um, yeah," she clarified.

Eugene was quiet for a minute before he said, "Yeah, I think about it."

Daria huffed out a breath and glared at her pillow, imagining it was him. "What do you mean?" she demanded.

"I said. I think about it," he repeated, offhandedly.

Daria groaned exasperatedly. "Fine. Nix your company and just lend me your car."

"No way, girlie! You crazy?!" Eugene exclaimed.

"Completely. And don't go complaining about damages, I'll pay for whatever I break," Daria promised.

"So, you sure you gonna break something, then? No sale," Eugene said firmly.

"Dammit, Eugene!" Daria snapped irritated, losing her cool. "Don't be a jerk!"

"Oh, I'm the jerk because I don't want to lend you my car?" he questioned, slightly amused.

"Eugene!" Daria cried frustratedly. "Seriously."

"All right! All right. Look, you give me one good reason to take you, and I do so," Eugene countered simply.

Daria inhaled deeply, intensely wishing for a cigarette. "Fine. ...We get to hang out?" she tried.

"Hm," Eugene hummed, sounding exaggeratedly thoughtful. "Well...getting to spend long time with you would be a decent reason - but nope, not good enough," he said, sounding greatly amused.

Daria scowled but did not give voice to her irritation, reminding herself that she really, really needed him. She then sank deep into thought, thinking of something, anything, that would appeal to him significantly. She then smiled.

"Okay. Fine. I have an amazing reason for you to help me," she announced.

"Oh? Give it shot then," Eugene challenged curiously.

"You got anything better to do?" Daria said smugly.

Eugene was quiet so long that it started to make her nervous. Maybe she was wrong and that idea actually put him off.

"Dammit," he ultimately said, breathing out heavily. "You got me there."

Daria grinned, relieved. "Great. So can we leave now?"

"Yeah, yeah," Eugene agreed easily. "Do you even know where she is?"

"I know she isn't here," Daria supplied simply.

Eugene laughed heartily, "No shit. But I guess we just look."

"See you in an hour, then?" Daria questioned eagerly.

"Yep. An hour," he promised.

"Thank you so much, Eugene," Daria gushed sincerely, hanging up without a 'goodbye' and quickly started gathering up some of her stuff.


Daria packed a small duffel with mostly clothes since many of the things she used belonged to Erik. She also paid Erik for a couple months of rent, even though it would be pointless. When she came back with Jane they would need to find a new place because Erik barely wanted her as a roommate. He most likely wouldn't welcome a second roommate. However, Daria still paid him because her mind liked to whisper about the 'just in case' part of this search failing.

She also called in to take time off from Kamikaze.Mordy had been good about it, not giving her a limit on the days she could be gone. Mostly due to him being uninterested in looking for someone new and to the fact that it would be highly unlikely that anyone would be applying while she was gone.

Eugene showed up twenty minutes after the promised hour.

"Late, Eugene," Daria admonished, getting into his circa 1960s red, falling apart in many places, four-door SUV, tossing her bag into the trunk.

Eugene simply shrugged. "Need to stop for some supplies at Chaz's," he said, heading for his favorite liquor store.

After they picked up a couple cases of beer and snack foods - discounted by Chaz because Eugene gave him discounts on donuts - they were off.

"So, where do we go?" Eugene asked when they reached the large highway.

Daria looked left and right, frowning. Both directions were vast and unending, leaving her to wonder how big was this world and how much luck did she actually have in finding Jane?

"Um, I guess East?" Daria said unsurely.

"East it is," Eugene stated, and turned left, starting their journey.


It was an hour on the highway when they had fully left their town. Out here, they were engulfed in a heat hotter than they were used to and the surrounding desert held beige sand and dried, dead tall grass and shrubs.

Powerlines ran along the highway, making Daria for the first time wonder about who ran the utilities here. She had never come across a person with a job that didn't reside in retail or food service or some kind of manual labor. She and Erik paid a power bill, a water bill, and gas bill through the mail but never saw the buildings that controlled them. Which made her think that maybe there was no real need to have those utilities managed and that they were just there as an added punishment.

"You know, I don't know if this car gonna make it," Eugene said casually, interrupting her thoughts, taking a large swallow of his beer.

Daria gave him an incredulous look. "And you decide to say this now?!"

Eugene shrugged indifferently. "I mean, it might. Really, the only thing that might be issue is the headlights. They no work."

Daria groaned loudly. "Which means we can't drive at night," she complained, noticing the lack of streetlights or any lights along the highway.

"Aye," Eugene confirmed.

"Have you tried fixing them?" she asked.

Eugene gave her a dry look. "Of course, but they still no work."

"Well, let's try again if we see a place. I'll pay," Daria decided, unwilling to let anything hinder their search for Jane.

"If you insist, but I tell you they won't work," he said blithely.

Daria simply rolled her eyes and went back to staring out the window. "Damn Afterlife," she muttered moodily.

"Yep," Eugene agreed, finishing his beer and tossing it out his window. He reached into the backseat where the 'supplies' were and grabbed a couple beers.

"Hey, I bet you beer they can't be fixed," he said, smiling amused, handing her a bottle.

She looked at it with distaste, not wanting to pick that habit back up, but it was hot and she was thirsty and her idiot friend decided that only beer was an essential liquid.

Daria sighed defeat and accepted the beer. She opened it and drank deeply. It wasn't refreshing and still tasted disgusting but it was better than nothing she figured.

As they drove, Daria started to get bored of watching the bland scenery they passed. She sighed tiredly, moving restlessly in her seat. Her eyes then landed on the stereo.

She pointed at it and asked Eugene, "Does it work?"

Eugene nodded, sipping his beer, eyes focused on the road. Daria noticed they were glassy as well but didn't remark on it. If Eugene felt he could drive intoxicated then who was she to complain. It's not like she had a choice.

Daria turned on the radio and frowned when all she got was static.

"Of course," she grumbled, shutting it off. She then started looking around Eugene's car.

"What you doing?" Eugene complained as she looked under her seat and then nearly climbed into the backseat. "Sit down. You distracting me."

"Music," Daria answered, sitting back down. "You got any tapes?"

"Yeah. Glove compartment," he said.

Daria opened the compartment and found a few tapes in it. A couple weren't in any language she could place and the one that was in English was by a band she had never heard of. One tape, however, surprised her; it had Eugene's name written on it in white-out.

She pulled it out and showed Eugene, giving him an inquisitive expression.

"Eh, it not very good," he said indifferently with a shrug.

"What is it?" Daria asked, studying the cassette tape.

"My old band," he said.

Daria looked at him surprised. "Really? I didn't know you had a band here. How did you find people active enough beyond getting drunk to use an instrument?" she asked with an amused smile.

Eugene shook his head. "No. Back in Life band."

Daria gaped at him. "How the hell did you get the tape here?"

"It was in jacket pocket when I offed," he explained as if that made absolute sense.

She scowled lightly. "Wish I had my computer in my hands when I offed," she muttered.

Eugene simply gave her a small smile.

Daria popped the tape into the tape deck and pressed play. The music that played, as best that Daria could guess, was a mix of folk with slight undertones of polka.

The Eugene on the tape started to sing, soft and slow:

"When there is trap set up for you in every corner of this town.

And so you learn the only way to go is underground.

When there's a trap set up for you in every corner of your room.

And so you learn the only way to go is through the roof.

Ooohoohoooh through the roof, underground.

Ooohoohoooh through the roof, underground."

"Oh man, that's worse then I remember," Eugene groaned, cringing.

"Actually, I kinda like it," Daria said honestly, giving him a faint smile.

He looked at her surprised, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's better then what normally passes for music here," she said, settling into her seat and sipping her beer.

"Cool," Eugene said, looking pleased.

Daria turned the music up a little louder, letting herself get lost in the music, her gaze upwards to the clear, bright blue sky. As hot as it was, she was truly grateful to have the sun, because grey and gloomy clouds would have just made this place, if possible, more depressing and unbearable.

Daria was startled when she saw strange pinpricks in the sky. As they drove closer, she could make them out as...parachutes, with actual people connected to them. However, she never saw a plane.

"Hey, Eugene," Daria said and pointed.

"Hm," he grunted but did not take his eyes off the road.

"This is gonna sound weird-," she started but Eugene interrupted with a derisive, "What isn't weird?"

Daria rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Eugene, for that excellent observation. I meant," she said, looking back up at the sky, and then frowned. The parachuters were gone now - no trace of them ever having been in the sky.

Eugene looked at her expectantly but with no evidence, she simply shrugged.

"Pass me another beer," he simply said, still focused on the unending road ahead.

"Yeah, sure," she sighed, finishing her beer before reaching into the backseat to grab a couple more.


Five long hours later, it started to get dark.

"Need to find a place to stop," Daria remarked, noticing that the road was disappearing with the oncoming darkness. It made her a little uneasy.

Eugene chuckled suddenly. "Actually, time for you to make good on offer," he said, pointing to a building off to their left. "Mike's car shop." He grinned at her. "Perfect time, eh?"

"Well, something had to go right at least once for us," Daria said amused.

Eugene pulled into the shop, parking in one of the two garages. They both got out of the car, glancing around for whoever ran the shop.

"I still bet you beer they can't fix it," Eugene challenged her with a grin.

Daria rolled her eyes but smiled determinedly. "You're on."

They walked over to the second garage and found a pale, scrawny man with a brunette mohawk and dressed in a wifebeater and grey jeans working on a beat-up white car, seeming intensely focused on its engine.

"Hello?" Daria said tentatively.

The guy turned to face them, looking them over curiously. He was young, possibly late twenties. He smiled hugely, but Daria noticed that there seemed to be something a bit off about him. She looked over at Eugene and saw that he seemed to be having the same thought.

"Oh, er, hi, yeah," the guy said, speaking quickly but unsteadily, walking over to them.

"Yeah, you fix headlights?" Eugene asked, studying the man keenly.

The man wiped his hands on an oily cloth, "Er, yeah, yeah, let me-let me take a look."

Eugene nodded and led him over to the car.

The mechanic examined the left headlight, which was being held into the car with gum tape - lots of gum tape. He then started ripping the tape off roughly.

"Hey!" Eugene shouted, alarmed and angry.

"Don't worry, man. It's-it's cool. I just need to look at it," the mechanic soothed, holding the headlight up to his face to scrutinize it. After a moment, he walked over to Eugene, holding the light out to him. "Um, it's broken," he announced awkwardly.

"Aye," Eugene groaned in disbelief, irritated, and walked away to the edge of the garage towards the street.

Daria gave the mechanic a dry look. "Yeah, we know. Which is why we are here," she explained slowly. "So...?" she prompted, pointing at the headlight.

"Oh, right. Er, yeah. I don't-I don't, um...I'm not sure what it is that's wrong," the man stuttered, "But Mike is my-my boss, and he's an absolute genius," he gushed and set the headlight down on the hood of the car to study the other one.

"I hope so, compared," Daria muttered, rolling her eyes.

The twitchy mechanic overlooked the slight and nodded profusely, quickly. "Right. So, okay, yeah, we're gonna get it repaired. You...guys just wait here, okay?" he said and walked to the other side of the garage through a door; to what Daria assumed was an office.

Daria walked out of the garage to join Eugene, who was simply standing, facing the road, and smoking.

"He's going to get his genius boss to take a look at the car," Daria announced faintly amused, standing next to him.

Eugene chuckled, breathing out smoke with it. "That guy was tweaking before he came here," he said, and then sidelong glanced at Daria. "Good thing you didn't come here messed up; you'd be messed up forever."

"Thank God for small miracles," Daria said sarcastically.

"Hey. See that car?" Eugene said suddenly, nodding at a moving car across the road from them.

Daria looked at the car curiously, wondering why it caught his attention.

There was a man with a dark, thick beard and wearing an Arab headdress in a blue compact car with the word TAXI taped in large letters with black tape on to the left and right side of the car, continuously driving up the road and down it in front of the garage.

"Uh-huh. What about it?" Daria asked unsurely.

"It's been cruising back and forth since we got here," Eugene explained, sounding heavily suspicious and still watching the car. "I saw it five times already," he said pointedly.

Daria rolled her eyes. "It's just a taxicab, Eugene," she stated, slightly vexed. The last thing she wanted to deal with was one of Eugene's neuroses on top of tweaking mechanics and busted headlights.

He continued, "No, seriously. Think. Who would need a taxicab here?"

Daria gaped at him incredulously, "I could think of a few reasons why some would need a taxicab out here, but tell me, Eugene, why wouldn't someone need one out here?" she said gesturing to the auto shop.

The taxi then parked across the street and the driver stared at them fully.

"Look at the driver," Eugene said, ignoring her question.

Daria did, unsure of what she was supposed to be seeing. "Yeah, so what?"

"He's Arab," Eugene said simply.

She looked at him confused "So? You've never seen an Arab taxi driver?"

"Oh, sure I did, but not since I offed," Eugene said conspiratorially. "Connect the dots - Arabs, suicide; doesn't that freak you out even a little bit?"

Daria gave him a disbelieving look before shaking her head. "Eugene...aren't you messed up enough without being racist?" she asked wearily.

Eugene glared at her. "I'm not racist!" he stated offended "I just…I just," he tried to defend heatedly but then deflated. "You know what, okay, maybe I'm a little racist; but just a little."

"Yeah, a bit," Daria agreed. "Not that it matters anyway, Eugene - he's dead already. We're dead. Everybody here is dead. No one gives a crap enough to do anything," she said plainly. "I promise you that he's not gonna try anything."

Eugene looked at her skeptically, still watching the taxi, "Oh, yeah? Tell me why is looking at me like that, then?" he said, nodding at the driver who was still watching them intently.

Daria looked between him and the driver and was barely able to hold back her laughter at her ridiculous friend. "Because Eugene, you're staring at him like you need a goddamn taxi," she explained, amused. "Now quit looking at him and he'll go away," she said, turning to head back into the garage, over to the car.

Eugene finished his cigarette, gave the Arab a last look, and followed Daria.

"I'm still not a racist though, not a big one," Eugene said earnestly when he caught up to Daria.

"I know, Eugene," Daria agreed with a light laugh.

Chapter seven: Eugene's song: Through the roof and underground, by gogol Bordello. Awesome song and band.