Will spent Friday in a haze. He had a lecture in the morning, and as he had already packed for the outing, he had planned to spend his time studying or simply chilling. But every time a guy would pass him, any one of them, Will felt a shock. He wasn't attracted to all, but the simple fact that he was now allowed to fantasize about them was enough. Of course, he didn't know which ones were gay. He had met a few guys at the LGBT Center but didn't bump into them and those he had turned down before, he didn't feel he would feel up to speaking to again. The big revelation was a change but not a change either. He was still not one for hook-ups. He knew this, he was a relationship person, a committed one if possible.
So, he decided firmly that he would try and befriend people during the week-end and then widen his friends' circle, until one of them appeared like someone he could date. Until then, he walked to the library, to cool down. He walked to the far end and sat, taking out his books. As he did so, he was, for whatever reason, reminded of honey. Not only the taste, or the softness, but also how it gleamed, like a golden liquid. He looked up and saw another man, a few tables down. He wasn't looking in his direction. In fact, he had a big book in front of him and was reading intently. It was his skin that had caught Will's unconscious attention. It was tan and looked soft, but enveloping lean, well-defined muscles. Will gulped. The man had a charming, open face and big brown eyes that made Will just stop studying altogether and start daydreaming. After about half an hour, the guy stretched, put the book back on one of the shelf and walked to the exit. Will was half-disappointed, half-relieved to see him go.
Everyone was supposed to meet at the Center, so Will came, a little too early and walked in. There were two or three people there already. One girl was pinning a poster on the wall and one man was sitting at the table, reading a paper. He looked up and grinned at Will. He didn't look like a student and Will wondered who he was. "Hello, are you there for the outing?" "Yep, I'm Will." The man grinned "OK, hi Will, I'm Joel. I'm one of the organizers, so if you have a question, don't hesitate." Will had a question but didn't feel it was polite to ask. He circled around it "I've never seen you in here before..." "Oh, I'm not a student anymore, graduated two years ago. But I like to keep in touch with volunteers and help, here and then. I've had some great time here, found lots of friends." Will grinned. That was good news.
They were carpooling and not every participant would arrive at the same time, it seemed. Joel was in charge of dispatching people into cars and was the one to call if someone got lost on the way over. He drove Will and Tyler, who seemed happy to see Will again. When they got there, they were volunteered into setting the place up and Will liked being included that way, it made him feel less nervous at being new to the group.
Tyler walked to some friends of his and soon, Will was surrounded by girls. It was very relaxing, especially the fact that he knew none of them would be interested in him. Everyone around him was a stranger though, even Tyler, and he regretted that Tracy didn't come. Joel seemed very friendly but he was always busy talking on the phone. As Will came in, he heard him saying "Hey Jackson, it's been a while! Well as long as you're calling, could you stop on your way over and buy..." Will went out again, to help unload a car. More guys had arrived, they must be around fifteen people by now. The cabin was quite big, the kind that was for group renting, with a professional kitchen and a dining area. There was also a fireplace in a cozy room and dorms of two or three beds. Will found an empty one and put his duffle bag on the top bunk bed. It reminded him of boarding school. He smiled and fished out his umbrella as he noticed grey clouds gathering up. He put it next to the door and started helping in the kitchen.
"Hey, Will, can you come go help outside?" Will followed Joel out but saw him turn his head and wave at a man who had just got out of his car. Will caught his breath . It was the same guy, the one from the library. He was grinning warmly and looked so fine in the setting sun that Will's legs were wobbling a little. He sighed discreetly and looked at Joel coming up to greet the newcomer.
They hugged each other and Will noticed the way their hands rested comfortably against the other. They were either great friends or intimate. Will looked away. When he finally got in, the man had disappeared. Maybe he was looking for a bed to put his things. Joel was stocking sodas in the big fridge. "Okay!" he shouted to those around him "Now that Jackson is here, everyone that had signed in has arrived. If someone feels like starting the fire, there's a woodshed next to the trashcans..."
Will took the opportunity. So far everyone was friendly but it felt a little bit overwhelming now. After all they were almost thirty people in there, half of which potential dating material. As he came back with the logs, he saw the Jackson man again. He spotted Will this time and his smile extended, friendly and quite gorgeous to see. It took Will about four attempts to start the fire, although he was quite good at it. He had been a boy scout at some point. "You need help?" The voice had no right to be that warm and deep. Will shook his head, feeling like a stupid kid. He didn't want to be rude, though, so he stuttered "No, thanks, it's okay, it's... it's burning now..." He was blushing, and stood up quickly, more or less running to the dining-room.
Will sat next to Tyler, realizing that as hot as he could be, he didn't make Will flustered the way Jackson did. The latter was seated with Joel, chatting and laughing with his whole table. He seemed very at ease in big groups and Will felt a little more defeated. When dinner was over, everyone migrated to the fireplace, although after a while, little groups formed and people were coming in and out, even outdoors as it was warm enough. Will regretted very much that Tracy hadn't come. He didn't know anyone well enough to insert himself in one of the conversations and Tyler had migrated next to a cute guy and was now making googly eyes at him. Will walked back and forth, but his eyes were regularly drawn to a specific figure by the fire-place. After a while, he decided to go to bed and went to the dorm.
The bottom bed was made now and there was a green duffle bag sprawled on it. Will had no idea who it belonged too. He prepared for bed and climb the ladder. He wasn't tired enough, so he shuffled through his bag and retrieved Sonny's notes and letters. Each time he read them, he relaxed and felt at ease. He should really meet him, he decided, he could use an actual friend, not just a mystery correspondent.
He had dozed off after all, and woke up with a start. There was a soft sound, someone breathing underneath. Will was curious to know who his temporary roommate was but he was lying too comfortably and his eyelids were heavy.
When he woke up, he was alone again. Feeling full of energy, this time, he jumped down and dressed up quickly. He had been explained there was no fixed schedule, just everyone hanging out and having a good time ("but we keep it classy" Tyler had added and winked at Will who had chuckled.) so he wasn't fazed by how late he had slept.
He caught a cup of coffee and grabbed the bacon and eggs that were handed to him by a short guy with a nice smile and walked to a table, a spring in his step. He took a sip and marveled at the taste of the coffee, then looked around. This time he felt a tidal wave go through him. How a shy smile could create that, he had no idea. The man didn't look threatening and was seated at the other side of the room but Will saw him stand up and walk in his direction.
"Hey, Will, right? Joel told me you were new. This seat taken?" Will's brain was blank on one side and boiling on the other. He mumbled "yeah... no... I mean, I have to go..." and hated himself as he was, a minute later, back in the room. He needed to calm down before going out again. His heart was beating too fast and he was freaking out. He had no car of his own, or he would have driven back home fast. He was as much afraid by his physical reaction as to the idea of giving up and not make the friends he really wanted to make. So, he settled to pacing and freaking out.
A few hours later, there was a knock at the door "Will you're there?" "Yes, come in" It was a blonde girl he knew by sight but couldn't name at all "Hi, I'm Tonya! We're making lunch. You want to come help?" She was looking at him with kindness and Will felt she had been sent there, probably by the very efficient Joel. He nodded and followed her.
