Katie: (steam coming out of ears)

Mer: Umm… Katie?

Katie: Ya know what I hate?

Jess: … why is she all illiterate?

Meg: Shoot… she's mad!

Katie: ALL OF YOU SHUT IT!

All: EEP!

Maris:… um Katie…? What happened that was so bad?

Katie: I'll tell you what happened! Someone decided to almost sorta flame my story!

Jess: Let it be known that Katie hates it when people flame. Even a little.

Danni: Oh, dear!

Katie: A so called 'dumpsta', what a lovely name, said 'You know what would be even more interesting? Two guys being thrown into the world of Fruits Basket, now that's original.' Not even a 'pretty good job' in there! Or a 'I hate your story!' They could have at least told me what they think of the story I actually wrote! Instead of randomly telling me what would be better or more interesting than this story, which I have put my sweat and tears into!

Jess: I think guys are idiots…

Meg: I second that!

Katie: I know! And why would it be more interesting! HUH! I couldn't write about some stupid guys anyway! Because I'm a girl! A G-I-R-L! I. Do. Not. Understand. Men. Got it? Good! But here! I'll write your damn story just to make you happy:

Playing The Idiots

Once upon a time there were two guys who were friends. Somehow they got thrown into the world of Fruits Basket. Who knows how? Most guys don't even read it. And besides I would never write this fanfic because I'm writing 'Playing God' for my FRIENDS (Not that you would understand) who I have made the main characters. But I digress…

So these two friends, Ryan and Brian, get drawn into this book and have some random adventure that wouldn't be funny because they don't have as many characters that they could turn into (hinthint: guys changing into girls and vice versa in much more humorous). So they would have some random adventure with no depth because I am not able to understand the inner emotions of men all that well. Then Ryan and Brian died. THE END.

Katie: HAPPY!

All: Behold the wrath of Katie.

Chapter 7

Katie watched with horror as Kagura skipped closer. Jess finally couldn't hold in the insane laughter that was bubbling up inside of her. It came out in a large explosion, which made Yuki jump about ten feet into the air. Somehow, although she felt sure that her doom was near, Katie's spirit seemed to separate from her body, and, watching the scene from afar, realized how hilarious this must seem to someone who might be watching from the forest. A boy frozen to his spot by a skipping girl, another boy getting over an adrenalin rush, and a girl who could barely breath from laughing. Her inner self couldn't help but find it amusing.

Katie narrowed her eyes and made herself return to the present. 'Ok… I don't want to be strangled… just focus on that.' She grabbed onto the door and banged it closed.

All movement around her ceased and she felt a sigh of release rising when, all of a sudden, she heard Kagura make a very angry grunting sound.

"Katie, you idiot!" Jess hissed in her ear. And then, more loudly, "you shouldn't close the door on Kagura, of all people!" Jess clenched the door and slid it open quickly.

There was a bright rainbow-arc of color and then a large splatting noise. All three looked down. Kagura was lying there, face down in the mud, thrown there by her own strength.

"I'm so sorry, Kagura-san!" Katie said anxiously as Kagura emerged from the bathroom, freshly washed.

Kagura smiled happily at the attention. "Oh no, Kyo-kun, dearest! It was just some mud. It was all worth it for love." She hung onto Kyo's arm adoringly.

"Umm…." Katie stared down at her new limb and gulped. She kept forgetting that she was Kyo.

Jess walked in with the tea that she had just made. When everything had finally quieted down and Kagura was in the bathroom Jess had figured that making tea was the kind of thing that Tohru would probably do at a time like this. She grinned when she saw Kagura hanging onto Kyo like he was a life-raft in the middle of a stormy ocean. Jess knew that her smile would be easily passed off as typical Tohru pleasantness, although Katie just glared at her.

"So, Kagura," Jess spoke pleasantly as she set down the tray. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nothing really! I'm just here to see my Kyo-kun!" She turned to Katie with a brilliant smile.

Katie attempted to smile back, although it looked a lot more as if she had just sat on a pinecone, "Yay…?"

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Shigure peeked through the small hole in the door of his studio, which conveniently showed a good view of the living room. At the moment he was spying on Kagura hanging onto Kyo. 'Now… how will I get her out of here? I don't want my house broken again. No, definitely not.' The many broken doors came back to haunt him and he shuddered dramatically.

'I know! I will give Kyo-chan to her!' He mouthed these words and struck a dramatic pose with one hand on his hip and the other pointed towards the heavens.

Just because he didn't have an audience at the moment certainly didn't mean he didn't have to practice for when he did have one!

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Shigure's office door swung open just as an awkward pause had settled over the four teenagers (Yuki had joined them at the table). They all turned to stare at the man who came in a bit too bubbly and happy for the tension-filled atmosphere that was covering the room.

The man stopped in mid-leap and straightened up with a stiff brush at his robe.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked exasperatedly.

"Just adjusting to the mood, my dear…" He turned to her with a confused look, "…Tohru-kun…? My, my… you are starting to sound more like Kyo everyday…"

"Damn cat ruins everything…" Yuki said under his breath, thus receiving a glare from Jess. For the millionth time that day his world turned upside down. 'Everything today has been so weird…'

"Anyway!" Shigure shook himself, a bit like a dog drying off. "I came to ask if Kagura would like to take Kyo on a little date."

Kagura's eyes grew wide. "A date…?"

"I-I don't know if that's such a good idea…" Katie started backing away. Slowly.

"Yes! A date! I think Tohru needs some groceries for dinner. Why don't you go get them for her," Shigure made sure to put on his widest smile.

For a moment there was silence. And then:

"Oh! Me? Groceries! Sure!" Jess dug around in Tohru's apron pocket and pulled out a little bit of paper. "No, wait… this is that picture of a squirrel." Everyone stared at her. "Umm… Hana…chan?" At that the stares eased to a mere look. "Ah! Here it is!" She handed the grocery list to Kagura and then froze, 'Crap! I sound like Tohru!'

"Oh, thank you, Tohru!" Kagura looked like a giddy high school girl… which she was. Then she turned to Katie with an evil glint in her eye. "LET'S GO!" She grabbed Katie around the neck and ran out of the door and down the path.

"Goodness me! It seems that we're rid of her!" Shigure said with one of his signature smiles.

"Yeah. Whatever." Jess was converting back into Mean Mode.

"Wait, Tohru-kun!" Shigure sang as he grabbed onto her arm.

She turned around with a murderous glint in her eyes, "Don't touch me you pervert."

He let go of her like he was playing hot potato and waved her off nervously, "Ho ho! Tohru-kun you really are a riot!" He smiled and sweat-dropped, 'My god, she's PMSing! Our sweet little flower!' "But would you like to go on… let's call it a date, with Yuki-kun here?"

"No."

"But, Honda-san!" Yuki made sure he was loud enough to block out any useless babbling that Shigure might spew. "I was planning on going to the secret base. And… you don't want to be in the house alone with Shigure do you?"

They both turned to look at the smiling man. He seemed like he was daydreaming, completely oblivious to the world.

Shigure closed his eyes and imagined his latest plan to torture his author. '…and then I'll shut her in a room and lock the door. And their will be a hidden tape player that I shall record my voice on, and it shall say 'I am sorry Mii but I am busy and cannot make the deadline' over and over… until she goes completely crazy.'

He was interrupted from his daydream by a loud "Fine!" from Tohru as she stomped out the door.

"But I don't want to go, you damn rat!" she added over her shoulder.

Yuki and Shigure both stared after her, 'PMSing…'

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Katie: HAPPY YEAR OF THE PUPPY!

Jess: You're a day late…

Katie: I know.

Maris: So why didn't you just say that in yesterday's chapter?

Katie: …Because I forgot.

Shigure: (gasp)

Meggie: Pervert.

Mer: That's not very nice, Meg!

Danni: Oh… so that's why you were saying 'Happy year of the Dog!' all day… OKEYDOKEY!

Katie: (crying) Why are my friends so weird?

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Okay... I edited the chapter. I was going to take out the beginning where I was being all... mad. I'm not really sure why that review bothered me, but it certainly tugged some sort of straw. Taking it out seems a bit cowardly as well. Eh, it's not that big a deal. I just feel kind of bad about it... Oct. 3, 2006