Everything was falling apart. The last couple of days hadn't made any sense. Ever since he'd gotten home it seemed as though the world had shifted right from under him. He needed to see Winry, needed someone to tell him that this was all just a bad nightmare and that he could just wake up from it all. Now there were several officers in his house, cleaning up the mess and preparing notes for their report on the incident. They had attempted to ask him what had happened but he was only able to tell them so much. Van and Sarah were upstairs with Lieutenant Kinstrel, neither one of them had said much either. Van had asked the Lieutenant where his mom was and he wasn't really sure how to answer that question.
He thought about checking on the Lieutenant Colonel but he had been asked to watch over the kids and right now it probably wasn't a good idea to leave them alone. There was a sudden commotion downstairs and Andrew leaned out into the hallway to see what was going on. Once he saw who had just entered the house, he couldn't help but grin to himself. He wasn't sure if this person would actually make the situation any better, but at the least...well he stopped hoping for the best a long time ago.
The men all halted in their actions and stood at attention as the General walked through the front door. He really didn't have time for the respect as he moved swiftly past all of them, taking off his drenched coat and tossing it on the back of the sofa. He made a bee line towards the back of the house, carrying a heavy object with him. On the way, he stopped in the kitchen to grab a couple of glasses. Ed was on the back porch, letting the rain soak him.
"Hey." He didn't even have to turn to know who it was. After not receiving an answer, the Flame alchemist let out a heavy sigh. He knew the day would come when Ed would have to say goodbye to his moral stance on not killing in order to save his own life. Or someone he cared about. Just from the scene inside, he could tell that it must have come down to that. It was the only scenario that he would ever cave on that principle. For any other soldier, this was usually something to celebrate. For the dogs of the military, killing was just part of the job. A right of passage. One that he knew even Ed couldn't avoid. And he knew it would be devastating in the end. Normally he just had to irritate the younger man to get him to snap out of it, but that was not going to work this time. Not really sure what to say he decided he would pick sitting on the wet concrete then stand in the doorway in silence any longer.
Ed still didn't acknowledge the General's presence. He continued to stare at the ground or his hands or whatever he was looking at. "Here," Roy said, placing the bottle next to him. "I figured you could use this." The blond's gaze shifted and he almost seemed confused.
"What the hells' that for?"
"Well it's certainly not a gift. But I figured an eighteen year old bottle of scotch should do the trick." Ed honestly didn't know what he was talking about. "There's a reason, trust me."
"So that's it then? You end a life and bury the regret with alcohol?"
"Ed, nothing is going to change what happened. You did what you had to do."
"No, I didn't!" He shook his head at the thought. "There, there had to be another way." His volume dropped off as if he knew otherwise.
"Was there, really? What if you had lost?" There was no answer to that and Roy decided this was the point he was going to open the scotch. "The fact of the matter is, he wouldn't have given you a second thought if he killed you." He paused to let that sink in for a minute. "And if that had been the case, what would have happened to Van and Sarah?" The question just seemed to make him more upset.
"I...I just couldn't let anything...I didn't know what else to do..." He brought his hands up to cover his face.
"It's not so easy for the rest of us either. You just tend to get numb from it." With that said, he offered a glass of copper liquid to the Lieutenant Colonel. Without another thought about it, Ed drank the whole thing in several gulps. He immediately started to cough at the burning feeling in his throat. "Well it's just a waste if you drink it like that." Roy took a sip of his own drink." Despite the coughing spell, the drink seemed to calm Ed's nerves at least a little.
"I want all these people out of my house. Aren't they finished yet?" Mustang glanced back to confirm they were still working.
"Are you staying here tonight?" The thought sent a shiver through Edward's body.
"I don't want to." Roy sighed before rising to his feet.
"You're gonna catch a cold staying out here. Why don't you get the kids and I don't know, maybe we can bring them to your teacher's. She lives nearby, right?" Ed looked up with a grimace. The thought of bringing his children to Izumi's was a scary thought. He could just imagine waking up the next morning to the news that his kids were "training" on a deserted island somewhere or lost in the woods.
"Am I even allowed to leave?"
"At some point they will want to speak with you again about the incident. Have you talk with a therapist probably. It's normal protocol." Ed stood as well, pushing the wet hair out of his face.
"I don't want to talk to anyone about this. Especially someone I don't know." Mustang decided to let it drop and not push the issue right now. The two of them walked back inside.
If the sole reason for the Elric house being invaded that evening was to clean it, they were far from their goal. It was even more a disaster then when they had started and seem to make Edward's headache worse. He just wanted to go to bed at this point. Before he had to say anything though, Roy stepped in and asked the soldiers to wrap up their investigation for the evening. Wearily, Ed decided to go upstairs to see his children. He was sure they were confused by everything that had happened. Sarah probably didn't have a clue other then that things were hectic.
Slowly, he made it up the stairs and could hear the kids quietly playing. Van particularly was speaking in a tone slightly above a whisper as though he felt he needed to be quiet. Pushing the door open some, he noticed that the Lieutenant was sitting on the floor, watching as the two children played with blocks. It was a game that Edward knew all too well. Van would place the blocks on top of each other as high as he could get them and then Sarah, without fail would knock the tower down. Tonight's events had even dampened their games though as Van kept his distance from his little sister in order to protect his masterpiece. Of course gravity would do the infant's job for her as the towers eventually got too tall and would fall over. Every time it happened, Van would start muttering something under his breath that was difficult to understand.
He wanted to talk to them. Have some deep meaningful conversation about what happened and why it was necessary. But he wasn't even completely sure how to explain this to them. Glancing down at himself, he decided it was best not to say anything and moved out of the doorway back into the hall. He hadn't even noticed he was still wearing his uniform that was covered in blood. Certainly didn't make him look very innocent. He was sure there was something else he was going to be needed for, some last minute question or another statement but he just concluded he was more concerned with getting cleaned up. Right now he could only process one thing at a time.
Turning on the hot water in the shower, he started to remove the stained clothing. For whatever reason his fingers didn't want to cooperate and he found his hands shaking. The rain was suppose to wash all this away and it hadn't. He tossed everything in the nearby trash can and hurried to stand under the warm water. Being here alone in the bathroom was probably not the best place for him to be. Being alone meant his thoughts wondered and he started blaming himself for what happened. Mustang's words faded from him mind and all that was left was guilt. And to add to that, he didn't even know how to talk to his kids about it. Was this how his dad felt for so many years? He hated the thought but knew there was some truth to it.
There was so much he wanted to say but didn't know how. In reality the only thing he could think of saying was he was sorry it ever happened. He wished he could have shielded them from this. Mustang was definitely right about one thing. Nothing was going to change what happened.
With that thought, he let himself break down, covered his head with his hands and sobbed quietly as the water ran down his back.
