CHAPTER 7
I was grateful that sleep came quickly to me after I had revealed the truth of the Crucible to my crew. However, I kept slipping in and out of lucidity, seeing the defeated looks on Joker and Tali's faces, Liara's beautiful smile, the unconditional support in Kaidan's amber eyes...
And most of all, the disbelieving and accusatory glares of the skeptical.
As these images flashed in my mind's eye, another terrible thought occurred to me; what if I chose what I did to save myself? I knew perfectly well that choosing to control the Reapers or synthesize all life would result in my demise. Was that it? After all I had gone through as an N7 and a Spectre, did I sacrifice the lives of all AI and VI in the galaxy solely to give myself an infinitesimal chance of living to see another day?
No, I reasoned desperately, it couldn't have been all that. By choosing to control those abomination, or forcing a new way of live on everyone, I would lose something very precious to me; my humanity, a simple sentiment that all of my comrades could relate to, the very essence of my species that I was fighting to preserve for future generations. How would the galaxy react when they learned I, their hero and idol, had succumbed to temptation and become the terrifying new ruler of the Reapers?
My eyes shot open as I heard a rustle by my side. In the dim light, I could make out the figure of a man making his way quietly into the room.
"Kaidan?" I muttered groggily, rubbing my aching eyes.
"Hey, Shepard," the Major whispered, coming over and leaning on the bed. "Did I wake you?"
"No, no," I replied, rolling over to face him. "Are we there yet?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "We arrived a little while ago. You wouldn't believe the crowds that came out to see the Normandy. Everyone in Vancouver and their mother was out there," he smiled softly. "Looked like a real hero's welcome."
"Heh," I chuckled, "Too bad I missed it. What about the Brass?"
"They're aboard right now. Told us how damn proud they were and how everyone would be receiving medals and honors and yadda, yadda, yadda," Kaidan trailed off with a smirk.
"I bet," I yawned, sitting up. "And Hackett?"
"He's waiting outside, actually. We came up to see if you were ready to get out of here to the medical center. Also, he wants to thank you personally."
"Alright," I sighed. "No point in putting this off any longer."
Kaidan's eyes flashed with worry as he helped me up. "Are you gonna tell him about the Crucible?"
"Does it look like I have a choice?" I grunted as he helped me past my desk and to the bathroom.
"Don't worry, I'll stay if you want. I can vouch for anything you have to say," the Spectre reassured me as he waited for me to wash up. I pulled on my standard-issue Alliance jacket and grabbed my crutches.
"Thanks, Kaidan," I said, pulling myself towards the door. "You're a real friend."
"I try," he chuckled, moving to let Hackett in. "Ready?"
I blinked, willing away any doubt from my system. I knew that the Alliance might not react too well to the genocide of all synthetics that I had unleashed. Like the destruction of the Alpha Relay, it was only to ensure the longevity of our galactic civilization. Without the Reapers, the many races of the galaxy could live and prosper without fear. I was sure Hackett, of all people, would understand.
I remembered Kaidan's words from before; I didn't have to worry anymore. The Reapers were finished. We had achieved what the past galactic cycles could not.
"Alright, Kaidan," I nodded, standing up straight despite the crutches. "Let's face the music."
The door quickly slid open, and we were face to face with the man himself. Admiral Hackett seemed a very experienced and firm leader in person. Despite the stress and horrors that had taken a toll on his aged face, he stood with a firm posture befitting any good member of the Alliance.
"Commander," He stated with a firm nod, "I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to see you in one piece. You accomplished the impossible by taking down the Reapers. The entire galaxy owes the Normandy and her crew an enormous debt." I could see the relief and hope in his eyes despite his rehearsed composure.
"It's great to see you made it out, too, Admiral," I smiled, "Looks like we really did it, huh?"
"Yes," Hackett chuckled tiredly, stepping into the cabin. "Yes, we did. I apologize if my visit seems abrupt. After everything that's happened, the Alliance wanted to make sure you were on the road to recovery. I heard how bad you looked when they finally found you on the Citadel."
"Thank you for the concern, Admiral," I responded, "I'm honestly feeling much better now. I know that I have a lot of therapy ahead of me, but I can live with that."
"Of course," The Admiral nodded, clasping his hands behind his back. "I imagine after all that time you spent in New Mexico, you'd be a bit out of the loop on all of our reconstruction efforts. Restoring communications has been an issue, so I'd like to keep you informed on the current state of affairs. In turn, the Alliance would like to find out what exactly happened on the Citadel. It was a miracle that you were able to activate the Crucible at all."
I set my mouth into a thin line, glancing over at Kaidan, who had been silently presiding over our exchange. He offered me a quick nod of affirmation, restoring my resolve.
"Indeed it was," I said, leading Hackett and the Major over to the sofa. I settled down, glad to take the strain off my legs.
"You might want to sit down for this, Admiral," I beckoned him to take a seat across from me. "There's a lot we need to talk about."
I braced myself to reveal the earth-shattering truth of the Crucible once again.
