Title: The Camel and the Straw

Author: Takebuo Ishimatsu

Pairing(s): Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, Zack/Cloud, Tseng/Reeve, more to come

Summary: Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

Warning: This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

AN: Here we go!

Chapter 7 – Reno, Finally!

"Well, thanks yo. I'll take it from here," Reno said lazily, waving back at the brunette standing beside the buggy as he started towards the town.

Tifa nodded in return, truthfully worried about the other. Reno was obviously good, his former position in the company having belied that, but he was still nothing compared to an entire group of his trained peers. As annoying has he could be, and as annoying as they'd undoubtedly been to him, it'd been safer for him to stay at Seventh Heaven.

ShinRa wouldn't have really hurt the kids, it'd have been bad publicity, if nothing else. He shouldn't be risking his safety just for a bit of relief on both sides. I'm going to have a talking with Cloud once I get back.

Already plotting how she was going to give the blond a piece of her mind, she almost didn't hear the redhead's final parting words. She whipped around faster than she'd ever had reason to in any fight, but still missed the sight of the other, who'd already melted into the shadows of the town.

Though I know you didn't actually do it for me, thank you anyway, Reno.

Even more determined to stop ShinRa from getting their clutches on the other, she hopped into the buggy and started back towards Edge. The redhead's parting words, hopefully not his last words to her, continued to build her determination until the company wouldn't know what hit them.

"It was you, yo."

RENO-RUFUS-RENO-RUDE-RENO-TSENG-RENO-CISSNEI-RENO-ELENA-RENO-RUFUS-RENO-RUDE-RENO-TSENG-RENO-CISSNEI-RENO-ELENA

Rufus had just barely enough control not to smirk wickedly as he eyed the other over the top of his cup of coffee. Instead he opted for what he hoped was a polite smile, unfortunately coming to the realization long ago that even if he had the other now, the engineer would get him back in some way later.

"Would you like something to drink, Mr. Tuesti? Oh, forgive me, perhaps I should call you Reeve? With your relationship with Tseng, we could almost be considered family." The other man didn't bother dignifying either question with a response.

Oh my, if looks could kill…

"I'll take that as a 'no.'"

The President often didn't say he was pleased with his subordinates' work, it was their job after all, and he paid them very well, but today he decided he'd get the Wutainese man something nice after this was all over. Just to make sure the other knew he'd not mind a repeat performance, though it was obvious Tseng had decided to drag his lover out of his house practically naked for reasons far from his own would have been.

I'm afraid I can't even appreciate your attractiveness, Mr. Tuesti. It seems I'm just far too pleased at seeing you put in your place.

Sadly, it seemed his fun wasn't meant to last as Tseng finally returned from fetching an extra suit from his apartment above the current ShinRa headquarters. He was amused to note that the other had brought a pair of his boxers as well, not having trusted Reeve enough to even wear his own underwear. Not surprising considering just over a week ago they'd gotten intelligence reports that the other had somehow managed to incapacitate a man with an altered pencil. Though, they both let the engineer believe it was because Tseng was a bastard who enjoyed looking at what he wanted to look at, when he wanted to look at it, i.e., his lover, now. It just wouldn't do to have others knowing the Turk Director was worried about what engineer could do.

The leader of the WRO just barely flushed as he realized he'd be completely wearing the other's outfit for the time being. Without a word, he moved to the adjoining bathroom to change. Tseng eyed the closed door for a moment and it was only years of being around his Turks that lead Rufus to believe he was contemplating if he should make him keep the door open or perhaps go in with him. Ultimately, the other man simply turned his gaze back towards his employer.

You love him, don't you, Director? Perhaps this was a bad idea.

Rufus suddenly had an unusual feeling of uncertainty. While the plan was simple enough – call Strife, tell him to switch Reno for Reeve – he suddenly worried that something could go very wrong if anything were to accidentally happen to the former Director of Urban Development. Still, he kept quiet, knowing Tseng would only deny it if he tried to comment that perhaps his feelings could end up being a problem for the "mission," both during and after.

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Zack tried to stop laughing, he really did, but one more glance at the blond trying to glare at him out of the corner of his eyes sent him over the edge again. He bent double, clutching his sides while he was vaguely aware of Aeris smiling at them both from somewhere in the Lifestream. She'd decided not to fully materialize this time, giving the two at least the impression of being alone together for a few minutes.

~I'm sorry, Spike, but I swear I've never seen anybody run so fast in my entire life. And considering I've seen how fast Seph could move when he'd hidden Genesis' Loveless, that's saying something. Not to mention your face!~

He heard the blond take in a breath as he cracked up again but before any reprimand could come, his phone went off. Recognizing the number, Cloud flipped it open immediately, for once not allowing it to go to voice message.

"Reeve? How are you? I guess you may have heard the news…" Cloud's voice trailed off as he listened to the other speaker, a small frown slowly starting to form on his almost-pretty face. Zack looked almost exactly like his nick-namesake as he cocked his head to the side, trying to hear the other on the phone. Though he couldn't make out exact words, he recognized the voice of the Turk leader.

Cloud flipped the phone shut and sighed, leaning back against the nearby wall of the bar, closing his eyes. Zack seemed almost absent-minded as he gazed about the street, though the observing flower girl knew he was keeping watch for any Turks they may have missed, until his little lover was safely inside. Being gone for so long, sometimes he forgot that his little chocobo could probably kick his ass nowadays.

*We'll have to have a spar when he passes on.*

"Reeve's been kidnapped by the Turks. They want Reno in exchange for him."

*Ah man!*

Zack had just barely enough time to mentally whine to himself before Cloud opened his eyes, their gazes almost having time to catch for a second, and he was pushed back into the Lifestream.

*Stupid afterlife rules.*

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Two days after his "drop off" found Reno still in Costa del Sol. He'd decided to stay an extra day in the beach resort, not because he loved it but because he couldn't stand it, thinking it'd be the last place anyone would look for him, perhaps even more so than Nibelheim.

And that right there was your mistake, dumbass. Anyone that knows you was bound to look here first because it's the last place to look. Gotta stop thinking their random assassins, yo.

He mentally berated himself for the tenth time in the past hour alone as he slinked along various dark parts of the old Shinra beach resort, now property of one Cloud Strife. How that had happened, was a mystery only the Planet knew the answer to…and probably Tseng.

Probably in one of those *important* files Rude always reads for me, though Imma guess the damn rich hick didn't know what do to with all his battle-money and decided this was something good enough to waste gil on. Though, it is a nice crib, yo.

Well, nice enough when there wasn't anyone lurking in it, he supposed. He'd been fine the first day he'd arrived at the place, though his stark albino-white skin made him stand out more than his hair, for once. The beginning of the second day, however, he'd awoken to the feeling that someone was watching him.

Naturally, he'd freaked and had spent over an hour combing the place over and over, both for people and bugs, before finally giving up. Whoever it was was either watching him from a distance or – the frightening part – knew his movements well enough to stay around the house and not get caught.

Meaning it's most likely Tseng or my ex-partner. Shit, maybe both for all I know. This ain't good, yo.

Still, whoever it was hadn't attacked him or tried to take him down via bullet, making him lean more towards it being Rude. The big guy was okay in stealth tactics but he'd never been the best, whereas Reno was "the shit," as he liked to say to his instructors. If he tried to directly sneak up on him, Reno'd take him out…or run like hell. Rude hit hard.

That jus' means he's callin' back-up, yo. Gotta get the hell outta here, Reno.

Completely tense, he slowly slipped out the door, though not before peeking out the peep-hole at least seventeen times. Several people game him weird looks as he slinked out, though more so because he was wearing Strife's overly broad leather jacket in 98 degree weather than his odd behavior. A few even had the nerve to invite him to come over and "take off all that baggage, sweety." He gave the closest speaker, a wraith of a man at least a hundred years of age, along with his three frighteningly muscled bodyguards, his best "I will fuck you up" look that he'd used to intimidate bigger men down in the slums, before he'd become a Turk. He hadn't used it in years, his Turk uniform saying twice that loud and clear, but he was glad it still seemed to work as they all turned away, looking for easier prey.

And people come here to relax and "enjoy the sun" and all that other shit. Half of 'em don't have a clue as to what some a these rich bastards do on the weekends. Other half are the rich bastards, yo. I should know, I used to work for two of them.

Though, he had to admit, that despite bugging his various living spaces and brushing against his side one too many times to be natural, Rufus really wasn't that bad.

At least not until his lackies blow a hole through my brain, yo.

He leisurely made his way to the docks, hoping whoever it was wouldn't want to cause a scene and shoot him out in the open. He was by now beginning to wonder what the hell his fellow Turks wanted from him before he was killed, since it was obvious something was up.

Why didn't whoever it was just shoot me in my sleep, yo? It ain't like I got any info that they don't, nor any special cells in me like Strife.

Still pondering, he slowly began weaving his way in and out of the people, not really going any place in particular, but instead just trying to lose his tail. He didn't have a ride, so getting all the way to Nibelheim with a Turk following him would be almost impossible. He also didn't have that much money; if he got back on the boat and went somewhere else, he'd not have much to spend on necessities.

I'm probably the poorest SOB on this beach, yo.

Reno winced as a plan slowly started to form in his mind. No way, he couldn't do it! He felt the intense stare again, even closer this time than it'd been that morning. Still, whipping around, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary and no one he recognized, save a young blond man a few yards away. The only child of some perverse rich asshole that used to be good friends of the late President, if he recalled. Rumor was that the kid's old man used to rape him; Reno'd hardly been happier when Rufus had informed his Turks that Mr. Sulik, senior, was no longer a valuable asset to the company. The redhead eyed the young man for a moment before dismissing him as any possible help. He wouldn't want the poor kid to land in Turk hands and be tortured for information; he'd had it rough enough already.

Closing his eyes, he sighed, knowing what he'd have to do.

Man, my nightmares are gonna have nightmares about this, yo. The shit I get myself into.

Determinedly, he marched back over to where the perverted old man was, casually taking note of how his bodyguards immediately tensed, reading to spring up if needed. He wasn't impressed when they sized him up and found him lacking, going back to their normal states. Neither was he surprised. It wasn't the first time he'd been misjudged or likely the last time. In fact, half of his fighting technique was just using others' preconceptions about him against them.

Bodyguard rule #1: All people are to be considered dangerous, regardless of appearance or relationship with the guard-ee. Dumbasses.

"Hey, old man, I'm guessin' you got money for all these wannabes you got hanging around with ya, but do you got any transportation, yo?"

The men, as tall as Rude and twice as muscled, slowly stood up. Reno figured he'd actually be scared shitless of them if he hadn't fought I'm-fucking-amazing-and-we-both-know-it Strife and co, let alone the normal stuff he had to do as a Turk. Instead, he was more of a wary-amused state of mine; far more worried about the intense chill he was getting up and down his spine from his unseen ex-commrade.

"My, my, aren't you a cocky little shit!" The old man laughed and gave the sand beneath him a good few slaps. Though it appeared he'd never stepped out of his "lazy" stance in the first place, the redhead felt himself slowly relaxing, pleased he'd judged the old geezer right.

Bossman always said one a my best skills was sizing people up.

Reno smirked, which he'd been told was "delightfully sexy" even if it annoyed the crap out of everyone most the time.

"Well, you gonna answer my question, yo? I ain't got all day," he softly, using his best sensual drawl. The old man eyed him up and down hungrily before turning away as if uninterested.

"Well, of course, I have my own personal helicopter. I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Not even if I said I'd let you fuck me if you gave me a lift? I s'pose I'll find someone else," he murmured in an absentminded way before shrugging. He turned away and the soft "Don't let him leave!" was all the warning he got before two sets of hands grabbed his upper arms and forced him into a sitting position next to the old guy. It was a good thing too, if he hadn't heard the order, he'd probably would have automatically taken them both out. That would have certainly ruined his chances of getting to this helicopter, not to mention he'd have three more pursuers on his tail.

"Yo, yo man! What's with the aggression, yo!" Reno said, not in the least pretending his peevishness. He had to suppress a wince as the elderly man slid his hand slowly up from his knee until it rested on his right thigh.

"So sorry, my lad, but the boys can get a little too…enthusiastic at times."

The redhead just rolled his eyes before murmuring a soft "Whatever, yo." Despite the fact he was probably going to need therapy afterwards, Reno leaned in and gave the other a soft peck on the lips before going completely rigid. Slowly, the ex-Turk raised his eyes over the top of the white-haired head to see his partner's, ex-partner's, head peering out of the shadows of one of the buildings, his mouth agape while he loosely head a phone up to his ear. Reno slowly raised a questioning eyebrow and the other seemed to snap out of it. Realizing he'd blown his cover, the other Turk slowly walked back towards the building's end, never taking his semi-horrified gaze from the redhead's.

Shit, yo. That was a close one. If nothin' else, these dumbass wannabes are good for blocking bullets.

"Something wrong…?" the old man said, having noticed the other's visible tensing.

"Robert."

"Something wrong, Robert?" The old guy twisted around to try and see just what the younger man was looking at, but saw nothing. His guards just shrugged when he addressed his unanswered question to them wordlessly through a look.

Yeah, I just saw a fucking angry Turk that either wants to shoot my ass or wants to bring me back to headquarters, torture me as a lesson to all the rookies, and then shoot my ass.

"Nothin'. I just thought I saw my ex-boyfriend, Nick Quarter. I left his sorry ass about a month ago when he started gettin' real abusive with me, yo. Apparently, he didn't like the fact that I was more into his father than him, yo. Who'd a thought? Ya see, I've always been more into the older men…"

AN: Yippee! Reno's returned! He's finally starting to catch on that his ex-buds may not actually feel like putting a few holes in him. That could only mean they want to do worse! Oh noes! XD

This chapter's about twice my normal length, meant to be two separate ones, but I felt you guys might appreciate some more Reno. Next chapter should have Rude's POV for the first time, if anyone cares. (Am I the only one that loves Rude just as much as Reno? They're a team, dammit! Poor guy gets no luvin'.)

Also, *I have a poll going* about my Misconceptions fic, but also about what I might write next after one or both of the fics are complete. I'd appreciate it if you took a look at it, at least if you want your opinion to count for what I write next. (I have about 12 fic ideas, and no real preference of their order.)

Originally Posted: 3/15/10