A/N: Hey faithful readers who probably forgot about me because I've been gone for so long, but this time I have a legitimate reason and it doesn't have anything to do with my AP composition course. So I tried out for the school play and GUESS WHO GOT THE LEAD! Not me, but I still got a FREAKING BIG PART so I've been gone for the past couple of months trying to balance schoolwork and this play I'm in. Believe it or not, actually, I had written this chapter during the holidays so it had some holiday themes in it, but I never got the time to finish it until last week during my down time at rehearsal. So, I hope you enjoy this. I hope it was worth the wait.


In the shower that never was…

Demyx: "And IIIIIIIII will always love you-"

Xemnas: "Number IX! Stop singing that infernal Whitney Houston song! You know we only can sing 'Simple and Clean' when we're in the shower."

Demyx: "Ah! Dude! I'm in the shower!"

Xemnas: "I know, I've just established that. And as Nobodies, we can only sing Kingdom Hearts related songs or else we'll have a trademark issue."

Demyx: "Dude! Get out!"

Xemnas: "No. You get out. The organization is summoned to the round room. I fear that this issue is of the utmost importance."

Demyx: "Fine, fine, important stuff, yeah. Just let me put some clothes on."

Xemnas: "Good lord, Number IX! You shower with no clothes on?"

Demyx: "…You don't?"

Xemnas: "Good Heavens, no! I wear my Organization XIII Bathrobe that looks suspiciously similar to our ordinary robes when I shower like normal Nobodies."

He leaves, disgusted.

Demyx: "…Normal Nobodies?"

In the Round Room…

Xemnas is the only one dressed in full uniform. Everyone else is either in pajamas or in a towel or whatever one might wear in the morning.

Xemnas: "Alright, Organization. We have some grave news. Our issue here is of simple observation. Saix will make it clear to us by taking attendance."

Everybody groans.

Xaldin: "Why can't you just freaking tell us?"

Axel: "Yeah! Most of us haven't put in our hair products yet."

Xemnas: "Are you questioning my judgment? If you are, I shall ban all hair products from The World That Never Was."

A surprisingly quick formal attendance ensues.

Saix: "And ten, Luxord, the Gambler of Fate?"

Luxord: "Here."

Xemnas: "Alright, now did anyone notice anything?"

Everyone else is either asleep or not paying attention.

Xemnas: "Well since you all obviously didn't, I will just tell you."

Xaldin: "He could have done that before…"

Xemnas: "Roxas and Xion are no longer a part of this organization."

Nobody reacts.

Xemnas: "Did you not just hear me? Why is nobody showing any feelings of shock or surprise?"

Axel: "Superior, Roxas and Xion have been gone for over three months."

Xaldin: "Yeah, so did you wake us all up to tell us something we already knew?"

Xemnas: "So all of you knew this? Why did you not tell me? We have a rule that you must tell me everything!"

Demyx: "We do?"

Xemnas: "Yes! And now I have more than enough reason to ban hair products-"

Everyone: "No!"

Saix: "But Superior! You were there when Roxas and Xion decided to leave!"

Luxord: "Yes. Don't you remember?"

Three months earlier…

Roxas: "Xemnas, Xion and I have been doing some research and we've discovered that we're below the working age."

Xemnas: "Psh. No. If you were, I wouldn't have hired you. And Xion is just a clone thing. Go eat a stapler, Xion."

Xion: "W-what?"

She starts to cry.

Roxas: "Hey! Now you've made her cry!"

Xemnas: "Don't be ridiculous. Nobodies can't cry."

Roxas: "She's right here, crying! Now she might have some crazy identity crisis and then turn into some teacup monster that's annoyingly evil to beat."

Xemnas: "Leave my presence."

Roxas: "Not until you apologize to Xion."

Axel: "Er, Roxas, you might just want to drop this just in case Xion might actually turn into that teacup monster you were talking about."

Roxas: "No. Xion is my friend and I'm upholding my reputation as the only good person in this organization because I'm the hero's Nobody."

Axel: "Whoa, Castle Oblivion déjà vu."

Demyx: "Wait, did he just call the rest of us bad people?"

Xigbar: "Yep, but we technically are. Cuz you know that creepy wizard guy with the beard was all like 'you must destroy Organization XIII and all that crap.'"

Luxord: "Xigbar, that didn't happen yet. We're still in the three hundred and whatever days arc."

Xigbar: "Dude, I know everything. This eye under my eyepatch, here? Sees the future."

Luxord: "I call bullshit. I'm time. You're space. You can't see the future."

Xigbar: "You want to bring it?"

Luxord: "Yeah, I want to bring it!"

They engage in a time vs. space brawl over Demyx's seat.

Demyx: "Ugh, as soon as Larxene's gone, they move my seat between these two."

Roxas: "Well anyway, Superior, if I should even call you that, I also think that me and Xion should get paid more since we actually kill the Heartless and everyone else just makes more Heartless."

Saix: "Roxas, I hate to break it to you, but I work way harder than you do and I don't get paid at all."

Xaldin: "Yeah, it's a 'harder you work, the less you get paid' system here as far as our paychecks are concerned. That's why most of us stick to living off of rewards we get from missions."

Roxas: "So we're basically slaves?"

Axel: "Not really. I mean we have that one day off each year."

Roxas: "Wait, that was our only one for this year? And I spent it hitting a freaking ball up in the air!"

Xaldin: "Your loss."

Roxas: "What about Christmas?"

Saix: "We don't celebrate Christmas."

Roxas: "Hanukkah?"

Saix: "No, we celebrate Dark-Sad-Depressing-Nonexistant-maskah."

Demyx: "DSDN-maskah."

Axel: "Which is basically a regular work day."

Roxas: "Okay. I'm suing."

Axel: "Trust me, Roxas. We've tried."

Roxas: "Well then I'll just leave this organization."

Xemnas: "CEASE! I forbid you from leaving! The rules say that you can only leave if you have a good reason. Preferably if you are dead."

Roxas: "Well I have a good reason. You have too many rules. Hell, we're only allowed one song to sing in the shower!"

Xemnas: "I keep telling you people, that's because we have a trademark issue!"

Demyx: "Hey, Xemnas? I hope you don't mind me asking, but can I possibly move my seat?"

Xemnas: "Number IX, do you want to be the next one to die?"

Demyx: "…No."

Xemnas: "Then no seat complaining. Why are you still here, Teacup- I mean Xion? Go eat a stapler!"

Back to the present…

Demyx: "So yeah, we were all there."

Xemnas: "Hey! He didn't have a good reason!"

Axel: "He had a good reason! But I guess you forgot that, too."

Twilight Town three months ago…

Roxas: "Oh my Disney! I'm sorry, Xion! You just turned into that teacup monster and I had to fight you or I'd die because you killed me."

Xion: "I'm going back to Sora. You can't let Xemnas finish Kingdom Hearts."

Roxas: "But Xion! Who else will eat ice cream with me?"

Xion: "And you have to- Wait. Who else will eat ice cream-? Ice cream? Who else will eat ICE CREAM with you? That's it? That ALL you can say? Really? Ice cream? Is that all you care about? You're no better than all the others."

Roxas: "But Xion-"

Xion: "And to think I had feelings for you! I'm leaving. I'm fed up with everybody using me just because I'm number fourteen in an organization with thirteen people. Everyone's always like, 'Kill the Heartless, Xion.' 'Eat ice cream with me, Xion.' 'Go eat a stapler, Xion.' 'You're a teacup, Xion.' 'Don't ask questions about your identity, Xion.' 'Tell the Organization to bring a magical broken stapler to The World That Might Quite Probably Be, Xion.' 'Stop being such a Mary-Sue, Xion.'"

Roxas: "Wait, what was that last one?"

Xion: "Stop being such a Mary-Sue, Xion."

Roxas: "No, the one before that."

Xion: "It doesn't matter. You're not worth it. I'm leaving."

She starts to leave with surprisingly much more energy than any normal female clone of a male would have if they were about to crystallize and be absorbed by a spiky haired kid with abnormally large feet or something moments earlier.

Roxas: "No, Xion! Wait! Who else will eat ice cream- I mean…uh…Wow, I really can't come up with a better phrase?"

Back to the present in the Round Room…

Axel: "And so Roxas came back with his good reason: that he's ill because he can't think of anything except ice cream and he left saying leaving a possibility that he might come back once he's figured out what the hell is going on."

Xemnas: "Well you better make sure he comes back or else there will be a ban on hair products and you all know that you don't want that temporary ban on again."

Demyx: "Thank Disney it was only temporary."

Xemnas: "Because if we don't get Roxas back to help me finish taking over the world- I mean, to help us complete Kingdom Hearts, then this won't just be a temporary ban. It will be the real deal, and you'll never use hair products again for the rest of your meaningless existence! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!"

Luxord: "Okay. It's official. He is insane."

Axel: "Er, I don't know about you, Luxord, but I'm freaking terrified here."


A/N: Yeah, no World that Might Quite Probably Be here. I need to move the plot along in the World That Never Was first. Xion didn't tell the Organization about the stapler! Oh no! What will happen to the forlorn travelers in the World that Might Quite Probably Be? Why am I talking like this? Anyway, don't you all think that Simple and Clean has the perfect title of a song to be sung in the shower? I do. Try it sometime. Sing it to the shower head. "Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight!" Eh, what the hell am I saying. Reviews! I love them! And a special thank you to for being my one and only reviewer of chapter 6 because if I had gotten none, then I probably would not have written this chapter.