Hey everyone!
I'm back and finally have time to write again!
Thanks or being so understanding, and thank you to those who sent me messages of well-wishing.
I found it kind of hard to get back into the swing of the story, so I'm sorry if this chapter is sub-par. Hopefully things will get back to normal and I can get some regular updates going.
***Warnings***
Possible boredom ahead. Not a lot going on in this chapter.
It hadn't been hard to get the students in the Gryffindor common room riled up into a party. Most would agree, after all, that they were the house of courage and obnoxiously loud parties that could sometimes even be heard down in the gloomy dungeons of the Slytherin common area. It was particularly easy to incite a riotous party when Sirius and James were at the helm. No one was ever sure how they got away with the things they did, but they had managed to get the house elves to bring up tables of snacks and drinks, and even Professor McGonagall seemed suspiciously unaware.
As the main festivities began to wind down and groups began to break off into smaller cliques, the marauders found themselves engaged in one of their favorite party games.
"Hurry it up, ladies!" James said, obviously impatient.
"Give us a minute, would you, Potter?" Sirius said in mock annoyance before leaning back in close to Remus, his partner.
The game was one of Remus' favorites, as it promoted planning and didn't rely so much on physical abilities. He also liked it because it gave him an excuse to enjoy the proximity that whispering provided. They sat in a circle with the two other teams, the one to their left made up of Peter and James, the one to their right made up of Longbottom and Patil. In the middle of their circle was a strange selection of food items ranging from dessert puddings to kippers. The object of the game: concoct the most disgusting combination possible and pass it to the team on your left.
Remus loved this game, when he wasn't to drinking cups full of pre-digested vomit. He could feel Sirius' breath brush against him as he whispered though, and he could smell his shampoo as their bangs touched . Their knees rubbed together and when he got Sirius laughing evilly, their shoulders would bump up against each other.
"Alright." Sirius announced excitedly. "We have it."
Trying to keep their laughter in order, they worked together, to create the perfect beverage of disgust. They started with a few spoonfuls of bread pudding, followed by a handful of peas from dinner. To this they added two sardines, a small cube of jello, a scoop of mashed potatoes, and then toped the cup off with sweetened cream. The look on Peter's face as they handed it over to him was nearly enough to send them both over the edge in fits of laughter.
"A-are you sure you don't need more time to plan?" Peter asked with a thick swallow of terror.
"Stop being a ponce, Pete. I went last turn so now you have to go. Don't let them win. Drink it down!"
Peter whimpered pathetically, but soon all five of the boys were chanting for him, and eventually he steeled himself against the taste and gulped it down. Even over the loud roars of laughter and disgust they could hear their friend gagging as he forced it down.
"That's how it's done!" James said excitedly as he handed a cup of pumpkin juice to him.
"Awwww!" Sirius exclaimed disappointedly. "I really thought we'd have him with that one!"
Once Peter had recovered, he and James set about devising their attack on Longbottom and Patil. Still laughing, Sirius leaned back, propping himself up with his hands and looking over at Remus.
"I really did think we'd get him with that one." he said with a slight shake of his head, making his hair wave gracefully against his shoulders. "Especially with those sardines."
"Well his fear of James' probably outweighs his fear of being sick." Remus pointed out, knowing their friend was a bit of a coward.
"True." Sirius agreed.
They both sat quietly for a while, watching the other two groups talking with each other. Remus had been happy to see Sirius relax once the party had started, though he still noticed the occasional darting glance whenever they heard a word that even resembled Remus' name, and every time it happened, Remus felt a small pang of guilt. He had never meant to cause Sirius so much trouble.
"So are you ever going to tell me?" Sirius suddenly asked, his voice conversational, but just quiet enough to keep what he was saying private.
"What?" Remus felt his stomach twist nervously. All he could think of was the big secret he was keeping from him, but he chose to play stupid until he was certain. "Tell you what?" His attempt at sounding casual was not one to be proud of.
"Who locked you in that tower?" Sirius asked sternly, but kept the frustration from his voice.
"Oh, that." Remus said, feeling himself decompress slightly.
"Yeah, that." Sirius said, sitting back up.
Just as Remus thought his blood pressure had dropped back down to a normal level, however, he felt Sirius lay his hand over his knee. His heart rate and body temperature suddenly shot through the roof and he hoped Sirius hadn't noticed.
"I'm really worried about you, Rem." he said, showing his sincerity by not only using his real name, but the shortened version that only he used. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?"
"I just..." Remus had to look away from him, the expression making him want to spill the whole story. He had to find a middle ground where he could tell the truth without giving everything away. "The truth is..." He felt Sirius' fingers tighten on his knee slightly. "I got locked up there because I just made a really stupid decision. No one was trying to hurt me, Padfoot. I promise."
"Is that really all you're going to tell me?" Sirius asked, obviously aware of his half-truth. "I really don't want to talk about this, Pads." Remus said imploringly, hoping that his friend would just drop it before he let slip something he'd regret.
"You know you can't lie to me." Sirius said, leaning in closer to him, his voice low and surprisingly intimate in the slowly shrinking space between them.
"I'm not lying." Remus argued weakly, his heart beginning to pound against his ribcage in a way that made him wonder if Sirius could hear it.
"But you are keeping something from me, Moony. I can tell. I can always tell." Sirius said, the unspoken reminder of the way he'd figured out about this monthly problem hanging heavy and unspoken between them.
Remus felt a surprising surge of annoyance at his crush's boasting, frustrated by his claim when he hadn't even realized the hidden feelings he'd been harboring toward him. According to Lily he hadn't been hiding it well, either, which just made the situation more irritating.
"Don't be so full of yourself, Padfoot. There's a lot about me that you don't know." Remus said, not realizing how dangerous it was to bait him even while he was determined to keep his feelings a secret.
"Oh really?" Sirius said with a smile that made Remus' heart freeze, as it was surprisingly flirtatious looking. "Is that a challenge?"
Before Remus could formulate a response, or even realize that his mouth was hanging open, they were interrupted by an eruption of whooping and cackling as Frank Longbottom downed a surprisingly mauve concoction. Frank had a unexpectedly strong stomach and had, on more than one occasion, been the last standing.
Sirius seemed to forget about their conversation as Patil started mixing his drink. He'd been waiting for his chance to exact revenge on the black haired boy after being sent to the toilet to be violently ill during their previous game, and so Sirius was nervous to see what he had planned for him. Taking a few deep breaths, Remus tried to tell himself that he had been imagining the suddenly heavy mood that had come over them. His heart was still fluttering slightly, even while he convinced himself that Sirius had been acting completely normal and that he'd just been reading into the conversation. Remus was interrupted again by the sound of Sirius complaining as Patil began smashing asparagus and brussel sprouts that he had apparently snuck in from supper.
"I heard from a very reliable source that you have a slight aversion to these." Patil said with a grin.
"You've gotta be kidding me!" Sirius complained and then turned to Remus imploringly. "Moony! You've gotta take this turn for me! Please!"
"No way!" Remus said as he pulled a face. He didn't particularly like dark greens either.
"Pleeeaaase! They're gonna make me barf! I'll play you for it!" He said suddenly, holding his fist out.
"Pads, you can't just play rock-paper-scissors every time you want to avoid something." Remus said, leaning some.
"Scared cause I always win?" Sirius teased, smiling since he knew that Remus would never let him get away with such slander.
Feeling the sudden thrill of competition, Remus extended his hand to meet the challenge.
"Ha!" Remus crowed triumphantly as his fingers closed over Sirius's flattened hand, mimicking the motion of cutting through it. "Did you really think I was going to choose rock again after the last time?"
Sirius whined incoherently, unhappy that he had lost. His hand closed around Remus' blade fingers and he fell back onto the floor in an imitation of a temper-tantrum. He refused to let Remus go, however, and so as he rolled around on the floor he pulled Remus along with him, forcing the thinner boy to kneel over him where he was laughing at his childish behavior.
Sirius had released him after that and had faced his concoction quite bravely. The game had ended there, however, as the brussel sprouts had not let Sirius get all the way through his pumpkin juice, sending him to the loo instead. They were lucky that he hadn't simply been sick in the center of their circle, as often happened when Peter lost. With the game ended, the group began to break up. James had seen that Lily had finally separated herself from the group of friends she'd been with and wandered over to try talking to her. Peter had excused himself, saying he felt ill as well and wanted to lie down. Longbottom and Patil had laughed triumphantly and left to boast.
Even with the party going on around him, Remus suddenly found the space very quiet. He watched James and Lily talking for a while and wondered how James could be so open about his feelings, even when Lily continued to refuse him. He tried to imagine what he would do if Sirius reacted the way Lily did toward James and was sure he would end up face down in the lake.
Remus was still deep in his thoughts when he heard a girl's voice calling his name. He felt a sudden surge of discomfort when he realized, a split second before seeing her approach, that it was Debbie. He wondered how she was allowed back into the common room after what she'd done, but apparently she spent her days in detention and had just been sent back for bed. Of course, McGonagall had no idea she was sending her straight into a house-wide party.
"I don't want to talk to you, Debbie." Remus said sternly as he got up to leave.
"Wait! Please, I'm sorry, I just want to talk!" Debbie insisted as she hurried over to him.
"You assaulted my friend. There's nothing to talk about!." Remus snapped at her, though instead of making her look remorseful, she only looked boastful.
"Well I think you might want to hear this. In fact, I think a lot of people might want to hear about your crush on Sirius." She said, purposefully making her voice loud enough to get someone's attention, but just quiet enough to remain part of the general racket.
Remus felt himself freeze to the spot he stood, all the heat draining from his face. He thought he should deny it since she was probably looking for excuses to cause trouble.
"I heard you and Evans talking in the library today. Seems you're in pretty deep." She said cockily, moving closer to where he was still standing.
"What do you want, Debbie?" He asked after taking a deep breath to calm himself.
"I don't want you to be in love with him." Debbie said, sounding surprisingly compassionate. "He's a horrible person, Remus. He would just break your heart. And he's trying to break my heart again by making you like him!"
"He's not making me do anything." He sighed, seeing that he was really just talking to an emotionally confused girl. "I'm sure he didn't hurt you on purpose, Debbie." He said, putting a thoughtful hand on her shoulder. "He's just... like that I guess. He has a really short attention span. He wasn't trying to break your heart."
Remus thought he'd finally gotten through to her as she looked down, seeming a bit remorseful.
"Then you should give up on him too." She said in voice that was almost annoyingly pouty. "You should go out with me instead. Like you promised."
"Look," Remus said with a sigh. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression when we went to the tea house, but the truth is, I'd only gone because Peter had asked me to." He felt guilty for being so brutally honest. "When I said we should do it again, I was just trying to be polite. Besides, whether Sirius likes me back or not is kind of irrelevant. I think I, um..." Remus paused again, still nervous to admit this sort of thing. "Well, I think I only like boys."
Remus could feel his face heating up a bit as he admitted his preferences out loud, and he thought for a second that this had been the best option. If she knew that there was no way for him to be interested in her, then surely she'd give up. What he found instead was that it was the worst possible thing he could have done. When Debbie looked back at him again, she was smiling in a way that made him feel a bit ill.
"Well then, if you don't want the whole school to know about your little dick sucking problem, I suggest you go out with me." She said.
"Excuse me?" Remus said, hoping desperately that he'd imagined the sudden personality swap.
"You heard me. Go out with me, or I tell the whole school you're a fucking knob jockey. I'm sure Sirius would be excited to hear about it."
The room seemed suddenly cold as Remus processed his situation, deciding that things looked surprisingly bad for him.
