John had one of mickie's head phones in his ear "what you listening to?" His brother asked as he walked into the room

"garbage"

"the band?" John's sister in law questioned

"no garbage"

Mickie gave John a look, neither had mention the kiss from the night before, neither were planning on mentioning it either "I'll catch you later" mickie stood up

"oh come on, I'll listen to it again" he smiled

"bye" she called leaving the room

John's brother picked up the tubes you wear on your legs when having an operation, there like long socks "do you want me to try to put these on you?"

"i already have a pair on, there for post op" John spoke as mickie walked back in

"forgot my stuff" she said walking around the room to get it

The doctor then came in "How are you feeling?"

"more scared than I can ever remember"

"then don't do it" mickie said at his bed side "please, john"

"mickie, I thought we'd gone through this"

"seriously, I don't care if I have to be the person that wheels you around all the time"

"i do" John said forcefully

"but at least you'll still be here"

"mickie" the doctor said

"it's in all the books ive read, the mortality rate"

"look" John spoke interrupting her "all I know is I cant spend another night like last night after you left, I just cant"

Mickie looked at the doctor "can you tell me he's got a better than 50 50 chance of making it through this... can you?"

"i can remind you that this is solely john's decision and as of this morning we have the best spinal surgeon in the country on our team"

"see, the best"

"I'll come and check on you later before they take you into theatre, try to relax" the doctor said softly walking away again

"the best" John nodded at mickie "please mickie you've got to understand if I can't have my life back then I don't want" John stopped himself when his parents walked into the room

"You don't want what?"

"nothing" John sighed, just once he wished him and mickie could talk without family, friends or nurses interrupting them.

"did you have a good night?" his father asked

"no dad"

"of course he didn't" john's mother looked at him "I've been looking on the internet"

"carol, don't you promised" John's father said

"they only have to make one mistake"

"stop it, do you think this helping" Nick asked his wife

"no, let her dad, I can't possibly feel any more terrified than I already am, knock yourself out mum, why don't you all say what you just want to say?"


John was being prept for his operation, mickie was stood alone as his family stood together, she often felt like she was intruding but she just couldn't seem to stay away.

"he's not going to die" Nick, John's father said to his agitated wife

"you don't know that, I read it, we both know it's possible"

"we cant think like that" he said glancing at his son's who were worried for there brother "come on, you've got to be tough now for John, for the boys, don't you think there worried to, mickie's managing a brave face"

"Mickie isn't john's mother" she said walking away into her son's room as the nurses left