Title: Frailty
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: As Olivia adjusts to her new squad, her family life is again shaken. She must struggle to find a way to balance her past and questions about her own lineage and her son's paternity while trying to find answers that her child's life are dependant on. Through it she's forced to re-examine the meaning of family, marriage, motherhood, and the significance her job plays in her life. This story takes place about a year after the conclusion of Undeserved in my AU series of stories and is a direct continuation of where Rollercoaster was headed.
Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. My stories are not EO and never will be. You may want to read some of my other ones for context on the characters in this AU first - though, it's likely fairly self-explanatory on its own too.
WARNING: THIS STORY MIGHT KIND OF BE A SPOILER FOR READERS OF UNDESERVED AND A DEFINITE SPOILER FOR ROLLERCOASTER.
THIS STORY IS A CONTINUATION OF WHERE ROLLERCOASTER WAS HEADED. AS THAT STORY IS CURRENTLY AT A STANDSTILL BUT I GET SEVERAL REGULAR REQUESTS ABOUT THE STATUS OF THE LIV/WILL/NOAH STORIES, I DECIDED TO PROVIDE THIS GLIMPSE OF WHERE IT WAS/IS HEADED. THIS STORY MAY EXIST AS A STANDALONE OR MAY EVENTUALLY BE ABSORBED INTO ROLLERCOASTER AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE.
"I'm just saying – three days, Nick," Amanda said as she poured a cup of coffee.
Nick shrugged and popped the tab on his Red Bull. "Cragen says she'll be in today."
"That's not what I'm saying," Amanda protested and looked at him from doctoring her brew. "I know. She takes Wednesday mornings off to take Noah in for his things. That she's has days off for his appointments. But three days? Three unscheduled days?"
Nick shrugged again exited the kitchette. "I think, Liv wouldn't like us talking about her – or her son – behind her back."
Amanda sighed and went in pursuit of him. "Three days, Nick. Something has to be up – and not anything good."
Nick cast her a look. It had certainly occurred to him. He knew his partner's usual schedule pretty well too – and this wasn't it. And, Cragen hadn't given him anything to calm his fears. Nick wasn't even sure the Captain knew anything. It seemed like he was just getting heads up as they went along too that Olivia wasn't going to be in.
But not in three back-to-back days? When he knew she was taking her son in for some kind of follow-up appointment? His mind was definitely swimming. He couldn't see a positive reason for her abscene. And, unfortunately they weren't exactly at the point in their partnership that he could shoot her a text or make a call to see if everything was alright. He figured they were just vaguely getting to the point that Liv almost respected him. But what she respected was that he kept his distance and didn't stick his nose too far into her business.
That was a hard line to walk – because he was concerned. He did care. He had a kid too. Almost Noah's age. And, he couldn't imagine what her family was going through. He didn't want to have to imagine. And if something worse was happening now? Nick wasn't sure how'd he cope. How the fuck would his partner cope? Though, he supposed she had good family. That had to be a support network. And, Cragen seemed to have her back in all of this.
"Liv or the Captain will tell us when something comes up that we need to know," Nick provided.
"You mean, the next time Will is in here and lets something slip, we'll know what the hell is going on," Rollins provided.
Nick gave her a look.
"She's your partner," Rollins added. "Does she ever tell you anything?"
He glared. "She tells me what she feels I need to know."
"And you don't think maybe we should know if her kid is sick again," Rollins put to him.
"I don't think it's any of our business," Nick said.
"We work with her," Amanda protested, but Nick wasn't listening anymore. His eyes fixed over Rollins' shoulder as Olivia entered the squadroom. She looked beyond exhausted.
"Hi, Liv," he offered and Amanda promptly shut up and slowly turned to take in the broken-looking woman.
"Hey, Liv," she said with a small smile. "Good to have you back."
Olivia barely acknowledged them, glancing around the squadroom that was still near empty. Only he and Amanda were stupid enough to be that early as they still attempted to make their good early impressions.
"Cragen in yet?" Olivia asked, gazing at his closed office door.
"Ah, no," Nick said.
"Likely won't be in for a bit," Amanda added.
Olivia nodded and pulled her arms tightly around her, her eyes still fixed on the door.
That worried Nick. It didn't look like she wanted to be there and it definitely didn't look like she intended to stay. He knew that didn't ease his suspicions any, so he doubted that Rollins was calming. Only she was far better than him at sticking her foot in her mouth.
"How's Noah doing?" she asked.
Olivia slowly turned around and finally seemed to look at them. Or at least she was looking in their direction. Really, she was likely looking passed them into some depths of nothingness. Her eyes looked so lost in a way Nick had never seen in her before. He might've only known her for a handful of months, but she always came across as so intense. She always seemed rather pissed off or rather on point. Her emotions rarely seemed to betray her. Though, that likely meant she had a lot of practice burying them, which also likely wasn't a good thing.
"His appointment go OK?" Amanda pressed as the silence hung in the room – a room that rarely seemed so silent.
Olivia just shook her head. Nick wasn't sure if she was shaking her head to acknowledge that Noah's doctor's appointment hadn't gone well or if she was shaking her head out of whatever daze she was in. But, he also didn't think he needed the head shake to know the answer – and neither did Rollins.
"I'm going to go up to the Cribs for a bit until Cragen gets in," Olivia muttered and started to wander away, rubbing at her eyebrow as she went. "I haven't been sleeping."
They watched her go.
"She just got here," Rollins said with some surprise.
"I don't think she's staying long," Nick provided.
He wondered what that meant for the squad – because based on the looks of his partner, she was at least going to be out the rest of the week. He suspected it was probably going to be a lot longer than that.
