Thanks to everybody who reviewed! Your reviews make writing fun for me.
Now, to answer some points that have been brought up…
RyuVision: I originally wanted Kin to play the part Karin is playing right now and have Karin come later, but Kin only got one or two votes, but if there is a huge demand for her, I can squeeze her in.
Kidloco: I'm sorry, but Sakura will not be part of the harem. She's had more than a second opportunity in my book, but if enough people bug me about it, she WILL be paired with either Akamaru or Pakkun.
And now time to nip this issue in the bud… Hinata
Let me preface this by saying that I love Hinata. I think that Kishimoto should hook her and Naruto up in the end. That being said, I don't want to reduce Hinata by putting her in a harem. I will (crosses fingers) write a Naru/Hina epic eventually, but it will be solely Naruhina. If I keep getting requests to put Hinata in the harem, I will kill her off, so don't make me do something I'll regret…
Naruto: HEY! You can't do that to Hinata-chan!
Hinata: N-n-n-naruto-kun…
Hadouken5: Shut up, blondie! I'll do whatever the hell I want!
Naruto: …
Hinata: …
Hadouken5: Hey, I have an idea! How about Hinata-chan comes with me, and we'll have some hot steamy sex while you go and do your stuff in chapter 7!
Naruto: EHH!
Hinata: YES! LET'S GO RIGHT NOW!
drags hadouken5 to her room and locks the door
Naruto: Anyways, here's chapter 7
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto
Chapter 7: Confrontations
Inoichi sat up in his bed in a cold sweat. There was an unpleasant sensation coursing through his body, and the Yamanaka patriarch did not like that feeling one bit. His wife blinked groggily.
"What's the matter, Inoichi?"
"I have a bad feeling. Something bad has happened to my little princess."
"Huh? Inoichi, it's four in the morning. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"
"No, it can't. I think something bad is happening to my princess."
Inoichi tried to shake off the uneasy feeling, but the sensation persisted, so he got out of bed and walked over to Ino's room, dreading what he was about to find. He slowly opened the door and took a peek inside.
The room was empty.
With a roar of outrage, Inoichi rushed into the street looking for Ino. It was then that two earsplitting cries echoed throughout Konoha.
"OHHHHHH GOD! NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"INO-HIMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Inoichi paled and fainted.
The next day, when Ino and Naruto rolled into Tsunade's office with the largest shit-eating grins ever, Tsunade was immediately on alert.
"So what happened?"
"Sniff… sniff… my young kit and his vixen have finally given into their perverted side."
"What does that mean?"
Tora snorted.
"So you didn't hear these two lovebirds last night?"
Tsunade's eyes widened.
"That was you two screaming last night?"
Naruto turned red in embarrassment while Ino shivered in delight at the memory. However, before anyone could say anything else, the door burst open, and a haggard Inoichi stumbled into the office.
Inoichi swept his eyes over the room, his eyes finally settling on Naruto.
"YOU!"
Somewhere in the back of Inoichi's mind, his logical side was frantically trying to remind Inoichi that he was confronting possibly the strongest shinobi ever, but the overwhelming urge to protect his precious princess overrode any possible logical thought processes.
"Uhh… hi there, Yamanaka-san. Pretty nice weather, today, huh?"
Inoichi sputtered before rushing forward with a kunai in hand, killing intent leaking out in abundance. Naruto was paralyzed by the fierceness of the enraged father, and would have been skewered if Ino hadn't stepped in Inoichi's path, flaring her own killing intent.
"Daddy! What the hell do you think you're doing to my Naru-kun?"
Inoichi sputtered.
"But princess, he stole your innocence! As your father, I can't let him continue to do this to you."
A tick mark grew over Ino's forehead.
"You stupid jerk! I gave myself to Naru-kun, and it was the best seven hours of my life!"
The reactions of those in the audience varied greatly. Tsunade blushed bright red while Tora wiped some drool from her chin. Shizune was whispering "seven hours", and Jiraiya pulled out a notebook and started writing while Kyuubi peeked over his shoulder, whispering ideas. Inoichi fainted once more, frothing at the mouth.
When Inoichi regained consciousness, he immediately tried to throttle Naruto, but was repelled by Ino's kick to the face.
"Daddy, if you can't control yourself, then get out before I tell Mom!"
Inoichi left Tsunade's office, sulking and throwing death glares at Naruto. After a moment of silence, Tsunade spoke up, avoiding eye contact with Naruto.
"I don't have any missions for you, so just stay out of trouble or something."
"Got it, baachan."
Tsunade threw a pen at Naruto, but when the pen made contact with the blond's forehead, he exploded into smoke and disappeared.
"NARUTOOOOOOOO!"
At the entrance to the Akatsuki base, Zetsu stood in front of the other feminized Akatsuki members. It was just about time for them to head out to invade Konoha.
"By the way, Zetsu, I was wondering. What happened to that weird plant thing on your head? Without it, you look normal, kind of cute."
Zetsu fought off the light blush.
"Shut up Deidara. The plant was a part of the other me. Fortunately, I've gotten rid of that ugly head ornament."
"So you won't be eating us while we sleep? That's relief."
Zetsu threw a kunai at Kisame, who blocked it with Samehada. Leader watched this all and put his head in his hands.
"Why is it so hard to run an evil organization dedicated to world domination?"
Tired of the bickering, Itachi pulled out a stick of Pocky and started to munch.
In Kumogakure, the Raikage held a scroll in his trembling hands. Konoha had gained a power too great to oppose in the form of Namikaze Naruto. The former jinchuuriki apparently had absorbed the power of the Kyuubi and was strong enough to turn back the combined forces of Orochimaru and Akatsuki.
That sort of strength made it imperative to reconcile with and reestablish good relations with Konoha, or eliminate this new potential threat. If the fiery Hokage ever felt like going to war to relieve some stress, Kumo would be one of the first villages on the strike list.
So now, the Raikage was busy trying to figure out the best course of action to take. Should he attempt to assassinate Namikaze and shift the balance of power once more, or should he swallow his pride and request a treaty?
The answer was clear. He snapped his fingers and a busty blond instantly appeared at his side.
"What is it, Raikage-sama?"
"Ahh, Yugito-chan, I have a mission for you, effective immediately."
Yugito looked over the scroll handed to her once before turning and heading out the door.
"Understood, Raikage-sama."
Once the Nibi Jinchuuriki left the office, the Raikage clapped his hands twice, and a large man wielding eight swords walked into the office.
"Yo Raikage-sama, how ya doin? Ya wanna listen to da rap dat I be spewin?"
"Killer bee, shut up. I want you to follow Nii Yugito and make sure she completes her mission."
"My rap will lead me to succeed. And I'll do this without smoking-"
"SHUT UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Meanwhile, Naruto and Ino were walking through Konoha arm in arm, ignorant of the glares being thrown their way. At least Naruto wasn't aware of them. Ino on the other hand seemed to secretly revel in the jealousy that radiated from the streets.
"Ino, what's up? Why do you look so happy?"
"No reason. Hey Naruto, I have to go work in the flower shop today. Want to come and help?"
Naruto was about to agree, when he remembered a very important detail. Yamanaka Inoichi was the owner of the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Yamanaka Inoichi was after his blood. Going to the shop would be a very bad idea.
"Uhh, sorry Ino-chan. I don't think it'd be safe for me to go over to your house any time soon. Your dad might try to kill me."
Back at the Yamanaka household, Inoichi sneezed before tossing a kunai at a training dummy with Naruto's face painted on it.
Ino pouted, but gave into Naruto's desperate pleas. With a long, lustful kiss, Ino bid the blond farewell and ran off to the flower shop.
Before any of the lusty fangirls could jump the blond, Naruto disappeared from the street in a brilliant white flash.
He reappeared by the hot springs in search for his mentors. It was time to get some training done. To bad his Ero-sensei had other things in mind.
"ERO-SENSEI, ERO-SANNIN! QUIT PEEKING ON THE WOMEN ALREDY!"
After the mass violence during which the great Kyuubi and the legendary Jiraiya were ripped to shreds by an indignant female populace, Naruto faced the dastardly duo.
"Jeez, you two… why do you always have to cause so much trouble?"
Kyuubi's ears twitched.
"Did you just say trouble?"
The pair leapt into the air, miraculously healed from their estrogen-induced injuries, landing on the bridge while standing back to back.
"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!"
"MAKE IT DOUBLE!"
"TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM FUGLY GREEN SPANDEX!"
"TO UNITE ALL PERVERTS WITHIN OUR NATION!"
"TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TENTACLE RAPE AND YAOI!"
"TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE BREASTS ABOVE!"
"KYUU!"
"JIRAIYA!"
"TEAM HENTAI, JACKS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT"
"READ PORN NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT!"
"KIBAAAAAA! THAT'S RIGHT!"
"ARF ARF"
Naruto sweat dropped. There were too many things wrong with what had just happened.
"Kiba! What the hell are you doing with those two stupid perverts?"
"Brat, Kiba here is my new apprentice! He has shown great potential for perversion, so Kyuubi-sensei decided to let him join our group."
"Erm… so Kiba knows all about Ero-sensei, then?"
Kiba nodded.
"Even the reason behind the attack on Konoha?"
Kiba nodded.
"And he's fine with that?"
Kiba nodded once more.
Naruto sighed. Konoha was getting stupider and stupider in this time of peace. Maybe they needed another invasion force to attack them, just for the hell of it. A mass murderer would be exciting as well.
On the road to Konoha, Itachi sneezed, spraying bits of chewed up Pocky into Zetsu's hair. Zetsu turned her head and snarled.
Back at the hot springs, Kyuubi and Jiraiya were trying to convince Naruto to join their team, but Naruto wasn't listening. Enticing offers of spying on beautiful women were spurned when Naruto pointed out that he already had a girlfriend. Kiba and Akamaru did their part in trying to convince the blond to join their cause.
Finally, enough was enough for Naruto. Gathering chakra, he executed his famous pervert-killing attack.
Orioke no Jutsu!
In a puff of smoke, Naruto transformed into his buxom counterpart and seductively winked at Team Hentai. The resulting nosebleed rocketing from their noses propelled them into the sky.
"IT LOOKS LIKE TEAM HENTAI'S BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"
Naruto smirked and turned to walk away, but came face to face with three extremely beautiful kunoichi. One of them reminded him of the creepy examiner from a long time ago.
"GAHHH!"
Before he could run away or use Hirashin, Anko shot snakes from her sleeves, which wrapped all around him, restricting his movements.
"Oh, Naru-chan, you weren't thinking of running away were you?"
"Uhh… of course not, Anko-chan."
"That's good to hear."
"Ehh? Kurenai-sensei? What are you doing here?"
"We're here to make you ours, Naru-kun."
"Umm, who are you?"
The purple-haired kunoichi smiled.
"My name is Uzuki Yugao. Hopefully we'll get to know each other."
Anko leaned forward and whispered into Naruto's ear, her hot breath sending shivers down Naruto's spine.
"We want to get to know you much better, Naru-chan."
Naruto gulped and allowed the trio to take him away.
When the four left, Sasuke stepped out of the shadows, Sharingan fully activated
"Dobe, I have copied your greatest technique. You will be powerless when I turn it against you."
'And then I'll finally have my way with you… kukuku.'
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That's Chapter 7, hot off the press. Before we get to voting and all that fun stuff, it's time to introduce a new segment to this series.
OMAKE TIME!
Naruto turned red in embarrassment while Ino shivered in delight at the memory. However, before anyone could say anything else, the door burst open, and a haggard Inoichi stumbled into the office.
Inoichi swept his eyes over the room, his eyes finally settling on Naruto.
"YOU!"
Out from nowhere, Shino shushined into the office with behind a turntable. Naruto summoned a microphone from a scroll.
Soulja boy
tell em Ayy i got this new dance fo yall called tha soulja
Boy U gotta
punch den crank back three times from left 2 right
Inoichi shouted, "YUAAAAAAAA!"
Soulja boy up
in dis hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank
dat soulja boy
Den superman dat hoe
Ino walked up to Naruto and began to grind against him. Inoichi saw this and fainted.
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Jiraiya: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Kyuubi: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Jiraiya: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Kyuubi: crank dat soulja boy
Tsunade looked on,
dazed and confused. Soulja boy up in dis hoe
Watch me
crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank dat soulja boy
Den
super man dat hoe
Tora cut in, sandwiching Naruto in between Ino and her.
Soulja boy up in dis
hoe
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Jiraiya: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Kyuubi: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Jiraiya: crank dat soulja boy
Now watch me
youuuuuuu
Kyuubi: crank dat soulja boy
Watch me lean and watch me rock
Super man dat hoe
Then
watch me crank dat robocop
Super fresh, now watch me jock
Joccin'
on dos haterz man
When i do dat soulja boy
I lean to the left
and crank dat thang
(now youuuuuuu)
I'm joccin' on yo bitch
ass
And if we get to fightin
Den im coccin' on yo bitch ass
You
catch me at yo local party
Yes i crank it everyday
Haterz get
mad cuz
I got me some bathin apes
-From Crank dat by Souja Boy
Naruto stopped for a moment.
"What the hell does all that mean?"
Ino shrugged.
"Who knows?"
Well, that's my first ever omake, more and better ones to come later. Let me know if you either want to play a role in an omake, or if there is something you want to see parodied/made fun of/honored in an omake.
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Anyways, enough of that madness. Onto the polls!
In:
Ino, Tayuya, Shion, Toki, Yukie, Haruna, Anko, Kurenai, Yugao, Hana, Tsume, Temari, Mikoto, Tenten, Shizune, Yugito, FemHaku, Karin, Kyuubi's younger sister, Tsunade, Tora, Ayame
POLL: Only two spots left- congratulations to Ayame. It looks like once Naruto is done eating his ramen he'll be eating… you…
Yakumo(5)
Fem Zetsu(5)
Sasame(12)
Tsunami(20)
Rin(10)
Isaribi(8)
Hanabi(16)
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Poll: Who should be in Team Hentai? (A/N: Kakashi and Sasuke are out, congrats to Kiba and Akamaru for making it in)
Team Hentai (In: Kiba)
Hiashi(1)
Shino(16)
Kudamaru(1)
Neji(14)
Hidan(3)
Kankuro(7)
Gaara(16)
Zabuza(4)
Konohamaru(4)
Killer Bee(1)
Shikamaru(1)
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POLL: Who should be a part of the Green Beasts(A/N: Sasuke is out, I'm opening up Kakashi for consideration)
Green Beasts
Hiashi(6)
Chouji(5)
Danzo(4)
Gaara(1)
Konohamaru(2)
Hidan(2)
Killer Bee(7)
Kakashi(1)
Zabuza(3)
Sai(8)
Tazuna(1)
Kyuubi's father(1)
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POLL: Which girl (3 in the case of the princesses) gets to join the harem next?
Next Up
Yukie/Haruna/Toki(7)
Temari(6)
Tenten(9)
Shion(6)
