A/N YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!! My story has finally hit one hundred reviews! 'Starts weeping hysterically' thank you all! You people are so great!
Although, where did all my reviewers go? I got a bunch of reviews, but I only got 14 for the new chapter! What gives? Is it something I wrote? Honestly, did something I said or did in the story become offensive? I must know! I want to write this story for the people, not for myself! So, please! You can be honest with me! I won't be offended!
Okay, I was planning on doing the super long chapter for this update, but then the slowdown in reviews happened, and I would rather do a normal chapter that everybody likes, than a long chapter that ticks people off! Until I know what's going on, the super-long is put on hold. But I am still doing it!
Okay, people, for those of you a little mad about Sandaime's lenient punishment, he's gonna get flak for it in this chapter, so, I'm not downgrading the seriousness of child abuse or anything! I had this all planned out!
Umm, I don't think anybody likes a long author's notes, so, on to the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. All I own is my clothes, a dollar fifty-three, my dignity- oh, wait, lost that a while ago…
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After a few minutes of thinking, Naruto realized that the plan that he'd hoped for didn't happen. 'SHIT! Ji-ji (grandpa, Naruto's nickname for Sarutobi) didn't assign anybody to watch over me like I thought he would! Dammit!' he hastily opened the connection to Kakashi. "Kakashi! You there?"
"Aren't I always? This is the only place this connection goes." Kakashi muttered in his mind. "But I ramble. How did the thingymabob go?"
Naruto both blinked and sweatdropped at Kakashi's unique vocabulary choice. "Umm, ignoring the fact that that sentence sounded as intelligent as a regular three year old, it didn't work out as planned. I need you to get in there and somehow get the old man to get Itachi assigned to doing guard duty over me. I don't care if you have to hold him at kunai-point while he writes the mission report, but get it done!"
"Itachi? What'aya want with him? Wait, you know what, never mind. You came up with it, so it's probably for a good reason."
"Exactly. About this time frame, he should just be a fresh genin out of the academy, so, this kind of trivial work wouldn't get scrutinized too much." Naruto projected all of the events that occurred in the Hokage's office, so as to give him any ideas. "Think of something."
"I'm on it." With those parting words, Kakashi disappeared from his position in a swirl of leaves.
"And now we wait." Kyuubi spoke in an uncharacteristically somber tone.
'And now we wait.
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Kakashi hopped from rooftop to rooftop, head full of turmoil. 'What could Naruto be thinking? Wanting Itachi to play babysitter? When he's going to massacre the Uchiha clan in a few years, too!' he pondered. 'Though I can't help but feel he stressed him being fresh out of the academy somewhat. What could this mean?' he paused for a moment, stroking his chin like a beard before laughing out loud. "HA! Brilliant! If Naruto plans to convert Itachi for us, then I'll definitely get him stuck to babysitting!" he leaped off with renewed vigor to the Hokage tower.
After a few moments, a man stepped out from underneath the shadowy overhangs. Ibiki Morino stood stock still before quietly taking out a pen and pad of paper. Quickly, he jotted down a few notes. "Interesting… this only further pushes me to believing the assassins… Uzumaki Naruto and Hatake Kakashi… who are you?"
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Kakashi entered the Hokage tower before once again being halted by the ANBU guards, who, unknown to the silver-haired teen, were sporting conspicuous nose bandages under their masks.
"Hatake Kakashi. Welcome. Do you have an appointment?" the ANBU on the right spoke, in a slightly nasal voice.
He had already thought out his plan of getting past them. 'If I can intimidate them into letting me by, then I can do plan B.' using this logic, he twisted his face in rage. "No, and I don't fuckin' care! I don't give a rat's ass that I don't have an appointment, I've got a bone to pick with the Hokage and you're not stopping me!" he roared at the ANBU as they rushed to barricade his path.
"We are most aggrieved by your problem, captain Hatake, but we cannot allow you to pass without prior arrangement." The guard on the left intoned.
"Screw you!" he yelled while hunching down with the Raikiri starting to form.
As his (in this timeline) newfound skill had yet to get much fanfare, as he had just perfected it in this time, the guards were expecting neither the move nor the aggressiveness. "Hatake, this is high treason to Konoha. If you do not disengage the jutsu, we will be forced to restrain you."
'Kuso! It's not working! Time for plan B!' he slowly unclenched his hand. The ANBU guards untensed…
Right before Kakashi leaped over their heads to the office hallway.
"HEY! STOP THAT MAN!" they screamed.
The Jounin looked over his shoulder and gave a peace sign while eye-smiling. "Sorry, gotta go!" with this, he put on an extra burst of speed and raced for the Hokage's office. The ANBU ran even faster. They reached out to grab his arms…
And succeeded. Kakashi's body bucked forward, still carrying on by the momentum he built up. "Lemme go! Lemme go! Hokage! You senile old man! How could you!?" he screamed, trying as hard as possible to create a scene.
"Down with the pest!" they swung him around so that his feet were no longer touching the floor. One started to swing a kunai towards his neck when…
"Guards! Kakashi! What is going on here!?" Sarutobi yelled as he walked down the hallway.
"Hokage-sama. Hatake Kakashi was attempting to see you without an appointment. When he was denied, he went into a blind rage and attacked us. He is a menace to Konoha and is being taken care of." They reported while bowing, never losing grip on their hostage.
"Bullshit! These half-wit guards have a log shoved three feet up their asses! I have undeniable news that my future adopted son was put in the hands of a child abuser and you didn't provide sufficient punishment! Nor did you do anything for the children that were actually abused! And I didn't lay a finger on them!" Kakashi screamed, wriggling furiously. The ANBU guard slapped him across the face.
"You shall not speak to the Hokage with such disrespect!"
"That's enough!" they flinched slightly at the volume and turned to the Hokage. "While I do understand that you were doing your job, you cannot just up and kill not only a Konoha ninja, but one of the brightest potentials we have just for disobeying a minor rule! As of this moment, you two are temporarily stripped of your ANBU rank and placed on house arrest, pending further inquiry." He waved his hand, and Jounins appeared from the walls and led them away.
He sighed. "I had been getting reports that those two were getting corrupt with the power and the lounge job, but to think they would become so extreme…" he shook his head and sighed again. "Now, what was it that you wanted, Kakashi?"
"Your head on a stick! The orphanage guy comes up to you, tells you that he's a child abuser, and all you do about it is give him a fine and community service hours!? You didn't even post a guard to watch that weasel!? That evil, douche! He… UH!!!!!" he huffed in frustration.
The Sandaime was shocked. "How do you know of this? I talked to him not just ten minutes ago!"
"That's beside the point! What I want is that there's a guard posted to watch like a hawk! I don't even care if it's a genin! I just want it done! I want no repeat offenders! Hell, I'd put a thousand Sharingan eyes watching the place if it were my choice! Possibly even Hyuuga!"
"But you were the one that suggested putting him there, genius!" Sarutobi retorted.
"Yeah, when I didn't know that white bread was a novelty to those kids! And besides…" he stopped and averted his eyes.
"And besides…?" the Hokage prodded.
"And besides. He's going to be treated like trash when he grows up. Don't deny it." He said as he saw the Hokage open his mouth to protest. "You know as well as I do that the villagers are petty and shallow enough to hate him, even if you make it a law to be kind to him. The kids from that orphanage are the most hated street rats of Konoha. They would have common ground on being hated, and therefore, he might gain some friends while he's there; and the owner has no qualms about taking him in. As opposed to the alternative, where the manager kicks him out after two days and makes the kids hate him even more irrationally."
The Sandaime was silent for a good thirty seconds before speaking again. "Very well. I will have a parole officer, of sorts, posted on Drifting Leaf to watch him. You do not have to worry over this." Kakashi sighed in relief. "Now, is there anything else you wanted to ask?"
"Yes. I would ask, though it is overly presumptuous of me, to be granted one-time use hermit status, to be used when I so wish."
"Hermit status!?" Sarutobi gaped. Hermit status was the title given to enable travel outside of the village without a mission and not be chased down by hunter-nin (hunter ninja). Sometimes, it was granted to grieving ninjas at the loss of a mentor or a teammate, though more often that not it was gained by sheer skill; Jiraiya and Tsunade being examples of both clauses. "Why would you want that!? And in what pretext are you asking it with!?"
He shrugged. "I'm not sure why I want it. I just know that I want it. Something's telling me to gain this. It's strange. Oh, and I'm perfectly within my rights to ask for it, since my mentor just died. Or did you forget what happened yesterday so fast?"
The Hokage cringed. "Ah. Touché."
"Dammit, he stole my line! That bastard!" Naruto screamed over the connection suddenly. Kakashi jumped in his seat.
"Kakashi? Is something the matter?" the Sandaime asked, looking at him oddly.
"No, no, everything's fine." He said placatingly. He quickly 'turned' back to Naruto. "Naruto! You scared me! How long have you been listening?"
Right about when the ANBU started chasing you. I sensed you were in trouble and I wanted to know why. Sorry! But I gotta ask: why hermit status?"
"Like I told the old man, I'm not sure. I just feel like it would be a good ace in the hole for if we ever need it. We may be from the future, which is good, but having two aces is better than one. And besides, if we need to monkey around with something outside of the village unnoticed, this allows it!"
"I see your point. Now start talking to ji-ji again, he's looking at you funny." The Jounin quickly snapped off the connection at this and refocused on Sarutobi. And he was, indeed, giving him strange looks.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying again?" Kakashi asked, hoping to cover his fumble.
"I was saying that I have formally granted you temporary hermit status, to be invoked when you so desire." The Sandaime replied, handing over an official-looking sheet of paper.
"Thank you, Hokage-sama. That is all. By your leave." Kakashi bowed before walking out the door. As he opened the door, he heard a muffled cry of pain from behind the door. Sighing, he walked on and ignored the new ANBU guards, who were massaging bruised noses like their predecessors.
"Wowee! Listen to that! Kakashi got himself a hermit permit!" (Bad rhyme unintended!)
"This is incredible! Hokage-sama hasn't given out those since the Sannin! This'll make great water cooler talk!"
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Meanwhile, with Naruto… (Simultaneous with Kakashi's meeting)
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A few moments passed after Kakashi left, Naruto yawned. 'This is getting boring now.'
"Well, maybe you should've thought of that when you thought the plan out, peabrain!"
'Shut up, fuzz-butt!' he growled before blinking. 'Wait, that's it! Kyuu, you're a genius!'
"Wait, I am?" Kyuubi responded dumbly before catching himself. "I mean, yeah! Of course I am! Did you ever doubt that? By the way, what am I a genius for?"
'Coming up with something to do: thinking a plan out! We can figure out what we're gonna monkey with this time and set a timetable for all of it!'
"You're right! I AM a genius! Let's get workin' on that!"
'Right! So, lemme see, what can we screw around with that we didn't like? Ooh, maybe we can keep Orochimaru from defecting!'
"Before our time, kid, though that was a good idea."
Naruto frowned. 'Drat. Oh well. Hmm… I've already got Itachi being worked on…'
"Wait a sec, kid. Kakashi's in trouble."
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(The whole scene with Kakashi happens here)
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'Well. That was interesting. Now we've got even more to work with here.' Naruto stated as he cut the link to Kakashi.
"Yeah. Now we're now bound to the village anymore! We can fix even more stuff!"
'Right! Okay, so, back on track. Let's see… how about… Neji.'
"Neji?" Kyuubi quirked an eyebrow.
'Yeah, seriously! We should fix whatever made him all fate-obsessed and stuff! Wasn't it his dad dying that screwed him over?'
"Yeah, I think so. And that was because the cloud people tried to steal that one chick, I think you called her Hinata. So, we stop the kidnapping, and the Hyuuga clan's set! OOH! And, what about the whole 'haku-zabuza' thing? It's down the road a ways, but it still has to be considered."
'Good point. Heh, maybe we can even convert them to Konoha!'
Kyuubi snorted. "Convert them? Granted, I'll give you Haku, he said himself that you guys could've been friends, but Zabuza? One of the seven swordsmen? Just go buy the entire gift bundle, why don't ya?"
'Good idea! We can take all of the people that would be the seven swordsmen, and turn them all to Konoha! You are brilliant!'
Kyuubi sweatdropped. "I was speaking sarcastically."
Naruto ignored him. 'But why stop at the seven swordsmen!? Why not all of the powerful enemies that we've ever fought! That would make Konoha a virtual powerhouse!'
"You're an ambitious little tyke, aint'cha? That's some mighty high goals you got there! I like your style, kid!"
Kyuubi and Naruto yelped. "Kuma! When did you start listening in?"
Long enough to know what you're planning on. If you're trying to set something secret up, you should build up the walls for your connections. Otherwise, we can all hear them!"
"Yeah, seriously, Naruto. I'm trying to sleep here!" Kiba yelled.
"Though I like your ideas. You and I could brood on them for a while; I'd probably be able to figure out a schedule for us to work with, as troublesome as it may be." Shikamaru yawned.
"Thanks, Shika!" Naruto exclaimed.
Said pineapple-head grew an eye twitch. "Dammit, Naruto! Only team ten and Temari are allowed to call me that! If I was able to move…" he trailed off before taking a calming breath. "You know what? I'll be generous and let that one slide. Okay, so, back on track. Naruto, you said that you got some goodies from Shinigami. I need to know what we can work with if I'm gonna plan our changes to the timeline."
"Yeah, I'm kinda curious too." Chouji added.
"Okay, okay, I get the point, you all want to know. Fine. I'll tell you." Naruto took in a deep breath. "When Shinigami told me I had three wishes, I used all of them in ways that I could see benefiting us."
"Well, that part's a wee bit obvious, given that we're talking at all right now."
"Do you want to know or not?" Naruto snapped. Kuma stopped talking. "Thank you. As I was saying, I used all three wishes in ways that I could see helping us."
"The first one that I used was to create the mindscape. I had figured that since we can't physically train, that we could train in something like that while we're babies. You know create awesome new Uber-techniques for this time?" the group nodded. "So I did that."
"And the second one…" Naruto winced. "Well, I kinda did this one more for me than for us all."
"And….? What did you do?" Kiba prompted.
"I gave myself a bloodline."
Silence.
"YOU DID WHAT!?!?!?!?" they all screamed.
"I know, I know, it was selfish of me and-"
Dude! That is awesome! You got a bloodline! That is so cool it's not even funny!" Kiba yelled.
"The fact that you even thought of that idea in the first place is what's got me impressed!" Chouji added.
"I too, am impressed with your wish choice. Very wise." said Gaara.
Only Shikamaru was unfazed. "And? What does it do?"
Naruto smirked. "Are you sure you want to know? As soon as you find out you're going to want to kill me."
"Oh, come on! Stop being a drama queen and tell us!"
"Very well, then, Kiba. But don't blame me if you get jealous."
"First off, the presence of the bloodline manifests as a small tattoo on the back."
"A tattoo? Why a tattoo?" asked a confused Chouji.
"I thought about how all the bloodlines that I've seen have some sort of telltale sign that gives away that it's a bloodline. Like, all the Doujutsus (eye techniques) that I've seen make the person have really funky eyes. Because of that, people hunting for rare bloodlines can go, 'oh, he has white eyes, he's got the Byakugan,' or, 'hey, he's got all-black eyes, he's an Uchiha'. I want none of it! A tattoo on the back would normally always be covered by a shirt, so nobody knows about it! Also, since it's not a specific body part, like an eye or anything, the secrets of it can't be stolen and reverse-engineered! And besides, it adds in an extreme element of confusion for one of the later effects."
Gaara nodded while holding his chin. "Interesting logic. It makes sense."
"Thank you, Gaara. Now, the tattoo itself is a Mantekyou design, with rings surrounding it. It starts out with just one ring, and slowly adds on as time passes. The more rings there are, the more powerful the techniques are. I added this gradual adding-in thing as a bit of a safety precaution, to make sure that if any of my descendants go stir-crazy, they don't have all the power at once."
"Nice. I like it. And- hold on. You said descendants. And that means kids. That means marriage. And that means loving some chick. You already got a girl in mind, Rokudaime Hokage?" Kiba added slyly.
"Ooh, who is she who is she? Why haven't you introduced her yet?" Chouji teased.
Naruto blushed. "Sh- shut up! I was speaking hypothetically!"
"When's the wedding? Are you planning on doing it indoors or outdoors?" Shikamaru smirked.
"Gaara! Please! Help a fellow Jinchuuriki out!" Naruto pleaded.
Gaara stayed silent for a moment before speaking. "We've got some excellent catering services in Suna, I could arrange one of them to serve."
Silence.
"Oh. My. God. Gaara just made a joke." Shikamaru breathed.
"Its party time, everybody! Let's celebrate Gaara's first joke!" Naruto exclaimed, completely forgetting his friend's "betrayal".
Party balloons appeared magically in the mindscape as everybody danced around Gaara, throwing streamers as they went. Gaara remained motionless throughout the entire thing.
"Why are you all celebrating over this event? This is highly irregular."
"You made your first joke! In both time streams! That's more than enough reason to celebrate!" exclaimed Naruto as he threw a streamer into Gaara's head, making a soft 'thump'.
"Yeah, well, your mom in my pants."
Everybody froze in mid-frolic. "Dude. You did not just say that. You did not just say 'your mom in my pants.'" Said Chouji, horrified.
He shrugged. Well, at least it got you all to shut up. Now, can focus on the topic at hand?"
"Oh. Yeah. The bloodline thingy. Right." Naruto coughed, embarrassed. "Anyways, as I was saying, I added that as a safety precaution, since this thing is so damn powerful. I also did it because, if Kyuubi possessed me, he wouldn't become even more Uber-powerful."
"Hey! I resent that comment!" Kyuubi huffed.
"No comments from the peanut gallery!" Kyuubi pouted and went off to sit in a corner. The group snickered at his misfortune.
Shinigami added another thing to it, but more on that later. I first thought about how I've always been mediocre about throwing projectile accuracy. So, one of the features adds in a 'zoom feature' to my eyes. At the first ring, I can pinpoint on a target 100 yards away. With each upgrade, the range increases in fifty yard increments."
Kakashi whistled. "So, you're our replacement for Tenten, then?"
Naruto glowered. "You want me to tell you guys or not?" they wisely shut up. "Thank you. Now, what was next?
"Ah, yes. Now I remember. The next thing I thought of was that if I ever started a clan- and don't even think about commenting on that, you guys!" here he glared at the younger generation. They, with the exception of Gaara, grinned cheekily at him. "I was thinking about how everybody always carries around the bulky weapons and stuff, which always gives them away as ninja. And if they're trying to get an inside man on an organization, the guards usually take away any sealing scrolls, as well as any weapons, thereby leaving them stuck heavily relying on tai-, nin-, and Genjutsu. If they were trying to smuggle in a specialized weapon in the first place, that leaves their choices painfully limited."
"I've eliminated this problem by adding in a storage seal to the tattoo. The seal leads to an alternate dimension created solely for the purpose of keeping the stuff for the seal. Not only could you smuggle in a mansion to somewhere, it only activates to the user, making it impossible for anybody to steal anything from it!"
"YES! NARUTO, YOU ARE A BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT MAN!!!" Kakashi screamed giddily, hugging Naruto while weeping. "I'm so proud to call you my student!"
"Why, thank you, kaka-"
"You now have a foolproof place to safely put all of your Icha Icha Paradise volumes when any female stops by your house! Savor your long life, Naruto! Savor it for me!" he yelled while holding a fist up to the heavens. A stray sunbeam hit Naruto's features, illuminating him. The other's eyes went wide as they gathered around Naruto and kowtowed.
"We are not worthy, we are not worthy, we are not worthy…" they chanted.
Naruto's eye twitched. "You know, only you could have cone up with such an idiotic use for it." The others looked scandalized.
"Wait! That's NOT what you created it for!?" Kakashi asked incredulously.
"No, it wasn't, so shut up and let me freakin' talk!" he screamed while launching himself at Kakashi. Only the combined efforts of Gaara's sand, Rock Lee and Kuma were able to restrain him.
"Okay, okay, point taken. Zip the lip. Silent as the grave."
"Thank you. Now as I was-"
"Not a single sound out of me."
Twitch. Twitch. "As I was say-"
"You're going to think I'm mute after this."
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" Naruto screamed as he launched himself once again at Kakashi. They weren't able to restrain him this time.
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One or two hours and a massively bruised Kakashi later, Naruto remembered what he was talking about.
"Okay. If anybody interrupts me again, they'll end up looking like that guy." He pointed at the lump that vaguely resembled Kakashi. They all violently shuddered and promised to shut up.
"Thank you. Now let's see, I've done eyes, storage- oh yeah! Now I remember! Jutsus that are frequently used, like my Kage Bunshin, and simple techniques, like academy level to Chuunin level, can be done without seals."
Kakashi's eyes bugged out. "Academy through Chuunin! Seallessly!? That's a fairly impressive range of techniques."
"You're forgetting frequently used ones." To illustrate this point, five Naruto 'poofed' into existence and immediately dispelled themselves, all without the original moving a muscle.
"Dude. That is so awesome it's not even funny. I bow to your wisdom." Chouji mumbled before attempting to kowtow again. Naruto, however, had other plans.
"Dammit, no! No kowtowing!" he kicked Chouji in the ribs, toppling him over to the side. "And besides, I haven't even listed the best stuff yet!"
"There's more? You jam-pack this thing with all of these awesome moves, and YOU'RE NOT DONE!?" they all screamed.
"Oh, yeah. Way more. The list goes on and on. Oh, come on. I just know all of you would've done the same thing! If you get the chance to create your very own, customized bloodline, you'd try to cram everything you can into it! Don't deny it!" he pointed to all of their guilty faces. "But, because I'm not petty, I'll not make you jealous and skip over most of it. I'll go to the very best part. The 'piece de résistance', you could call it."
"Yeah?" they all leaned in.
"This part is so powerful, that Shinigami himself had to put a limitation on it, on top of my own limitation, to ensure that nature would stay in balance."
"Yeah?" they leaned in even closer.
"This part, will rock the very foundations of the world, and bring Konoha's name to the mountaintops of heaven!"
"What!? What!? What is it!? WHAT IS IT!?" they screamed.
"I can…" Naruto whispered something to the group.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????" Rock Lee, Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, Kuma, Kyuubi, Kakashi and Shukaku screamed before falling in a tangled pile of unconscious limbs. Gaara turned to Naruto.
"So, now you can copy other people's bloodlines?"
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MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The plot thickens! I jam-packed Naruto's bloodline with everything I could think of, and some that I forgot! I will say, however, what I said in chapter 2: strong, not demigod. As I stated above, there are limitations on it, and some weaknesses that Naruto has no clue about. Take a pound of sugar with a pinch of salt, ne? Too much of a good thing is a bad thing…
1: Yay! I was finally able to finish this chapter in time for Christmas! Thank you all for reading this, you have no idea how much this makes me feel good! You've given this to me, so this is my gift to you!
2: I. Want. You. All. To rip my stories apart! I want to find out what is wrong with my story! I need some critics! How will I ever get better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong? Even if you think that my story is a gift from the gods, then review and tell me! They are a good kick in the backside to get me working again!
3: OMAKE!!!!!!!!!
War stories
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In the middle of the mindscape field, underneath a flowering Sakura tree, (cherry blossom tree) the three Bijuu sat together, recounting endless tales.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!! And then she sat on it!?" Kuma buckled in two from laughter.
"And it went flying across the room!?" Shukaku was also laughing hard.
"And aunt Mikoto's eyebrows were never the same." Kyuubi chuckled as he finished his story.
"Oh, man! That was priceless!" Shukaku wiped away an invisible tear. "So, now that we've all had a good laugh, why don't swap some of the ol' war stories!"
"Yeah, great idea! Hey, fuzz-ball! Remember that one war with the rebel herons?" Kuma called good-naturedly to Kyuubi.
"Oh, yeah. I think they were mad that they didn't get a significant spot on the monarchy, and were stuck on the civilian representatives."
"Pff! As if they could get a seat! They wouldn't have half the required clan size if they doubled their ranks!"
"Yeah, but they were brilliant strategists, and weren't afraid to use low blows. Remember that one battle…?
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Scene change
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A slightly younger looking Kyuubi marched through the mixed ranks of foxes and bears. Spotting his second-in-command, he marched over while giving a military salute.
"At ease, soldier. What's the status of the enemy?"
"Well, general, they seem to be on the ropes, so we can just- wait! They're bringing out some sort of reserve troop. And it's quite a large group! Half the original army size!" he pulled out a brass spyglass with his tail, opened it up and looked through it. "They seem to be waving a banner of sorts. I can't see what it is. Wait. It's coming into focus…" as he said this, a growing look of horror spread across his face. "Oh god… it's… it's horrible! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he through the spyglass over his shoulder and ran.
Kyuubi cursed. "Kuso! Spineless coward! When I get my hands on him, I'll…" he picked up the spyglass on it.
'Wait. It's the herons… but… crazed look in the eye… extreme speed and endurance…' "Dammit!" spat on the ground. "Demon fangirls! That's a cheap shot, even for them! Wait… he said a banner…" he looked through the glass again. His eyes widened. "Oh sweet Kami…"
On the banner, in broad, pink letters, were the words: KYUU X KUMA 4EVER!!!
"YAOI DEMON FANGIRLS!!!!" Kyuubi screamed. "RETREAT! FALL BACK MEN, WE'RE IN OVER OUR HEADS!"
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Scene change
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"One of the bloodiest battles we'd ever seen." Kuma shuddered.
"Yeah. And it took such a fuckin' long time to get one of the fangirls, bring it behind the lines, and exorcise it, one by one!" Kyuubi yelled. "CURSE YOU, YAOI FANGIRLS! BUT I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!"
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And, that's all that I can think of! If a think of anything more, I'll just edit this page and add it on. So, toodles! Merry Christmas, everyone! And a happy new year!
Review. You know you want to.
