Monday, January 27, 2015
Jerrica had arrived at Cedars-Sinai hospital for her surgery at six o'clock that morning. She was told to fast before arriving. She had asked Kimber to take her, although she was insistent that she had to do this on her own as much as possible. All of the prep work was done. She had been injected with a dye to help locate the sentinel node. An IV was in place that didn't seem to do much but make her have to pee every half hour. Her surgeon had been in to mark the incision area and initial her left breast with a sharpie. The doctor had done it without a moments hesitation but it made Jerrica feel a little strange, having someone write on her body with a permanent marker. At least the doctor hadn't written "Guilty" across her forehead.
It was now noon. Her surgery had been scheduled for ten o'clock, but had been bumped because the OR had been needed for a traffic accident. She had read every magazine she could get her hands on, and now she was just bored. But she was also tense. The delay was giving her too much time to think.
She was playing the part of the confident breast cancer patient. All of her doctors and friends told her how great her prognosis was. She wanted to believe them, she really did. But, truthfully, she was afraid she was going to die. And she was afraid to admit to that to anyone. Sure, this might just be a bump in the road, but it was a pretty big damn bump.
Ever since the diagnosis, Jerrica had felt cold. She remembered going in for the MRI of her breasts when she had been visibly shaking. The nurses and technicians had bundled her in blankets that had been warmed in some kind of oven. It had been heavenly. She had heard people complain about MRIs, but she had found the experience oddly comforting; laying on her stomach, wrapped up in warm blankets, and then slid into a tube feet first. She had actually fallen asleep. She wondered if they had those heated blankets here. She was afraid she was going to start shivering again.
As she tried to talk herself into pressing the button for the nurse a familiar face appeared in the doorway. It was Rio Pacheco.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jerrica couldn't keep the smile off her face as she tried to glare at the man.
"I came expecting to find you in recovery. I thought a Jerrica coming out of anesthesia would be less likely to bite my head off for visiting." The purple-haired man said.
"And instead you get a grumpy Jerrica who hasn't had anything to eat or drink in 30 hours. Lucky you." Jerrica said in an angry tone.
Rio laughed and went to sit by Jerrica's bedside. "So, can I keep your grumpy ass company until they get to you?"
Jerrica smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that." She reached for her boyfriends hand and intertwined their fingers.
She came awake slowly. There seemed to be a lot of noise all around her. She felt a strange heaviness on her chest, and something tightening on her right arm. She heard a doctor telling another patient that it was all over and everything had gone very well. Something about the sentinel node being positive, they had performed the lymph node dissection, that because of the delay they needed to keep her overnight. Then she realized that it was her doctor speaking to her. She didn't care. She just wanted to sleep.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
The next time she became aware of her surroundings she knew that she was in a hospital room. She could see out the window that it was dark, but she had no idea what time it was. She felt very heavy, but she wasn't in pain, just uncomfortable and more thirsty than she had ever been in her entire life. She saw a pitcher and cup on the bed table but couldn't figure out how to get to it. Her left arm seemed unwilling to reach out to the table, and her right arm was being held hostage by a blood pressure cuff, an IV, and some weird clip thing on her index finger. Looking to her left she saw some kind of remote hanging right by her left hand. Maybe she could turn on the television to help lull herself back to sleep. She pressed the button but the TV didn't turn on.
A few minutes later a nurse came in. He asked what Jerrica needed before she realized she had actually hit the nurse call button.
"Umm, could you help me get something to drink?" she asked, a little embarrassed.
"Of course, Ms. Benton," he replied filling the cup and helping her drink.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." She said after taking the sip of water through the straw.
The nurse smiled, "It's okay. That's why I'm here, you know."
"What time is it?" Jerrica asked.
"It's about three in the morning. Are you feeling any pain?" He asked her.
"No, not really, just feeling a little weird." Jerrica says rubbing her eyes.
"It's always strange waking up in a hospital after surgery. You just let me know if there's anything else I can do to help make it easier. Are you hungry?"
"You can actually get me something to eat at this hour?" She says surprised.
"You bet I can. This is a 24-7 operation. What can I get you?"
Jerrica asked for a chicken salad sandwich and a bowl of fruit.
"Okay, I'll be back in a few." He said.
The nurse returned with her meal and after devouring the most fantastic sandwich she ever had, Jerrica ate the fruit which consisted of peaches, pears, grapes, and apples. After eating she settled back in her pillows and slept the rest of the night.
A few hours later, Jerrica woke up. "A nurse will be in to review your after-care instructions with you." The doctor explained. "And, I'll see you at your follow-up appointment on Friday. We should be able to remove the drain then."
"Okay, umm, I'm sorry. What drain?" Jerrica asked.
"You have a tube coming out just here, under your arm." the doctor pointed to her left arm. "It's to help remove any fluid that collects in the surgical area. The fluid collects in this container." Jerrica pulled up a little plastic container that was clipped to her hospital gown.
Jerrica maintained her composure, but was, frankly, a little bit grossed out. She hadn't yet gathered her nerve to take stock of all her new wounds. She wasn't ready to look. Not yet.
Jerrica hadn't planned on spending the night in the hospital, so she wasn't quite sure how she was going to get home that morning. But Stormer showed up just as her doctor was signing her discharge papers.
"You ready to get out of here?" Stormer asked Jerrica.
"So ready." Jerrica said.
Later that day, Jerrica awoke in her own bed, in her own home. She got up and walked out of her room. She heard the television playing in the media room. Normally, everything is shut off for the night and Jerrica is a little uneasy having someone else hanging around in her house. She was surprised to find that having noise of some sort was actually comforting. She knew she was fine. The surgery had only been minimally invasive. But knowing that there was someone else there, if she needed them was kind of nice.
She wasn't feeling a lot of pain. Mostly just discomfort. She knew that there had been three incisions. She still wasn't ready to look at them but she reached up with her right hand to feel. She had been expecting large bandages, but there weren't any. Just what felt like little pieces of tape covering the stitches. The first incision was just below, and to the right of her right collar bone. This was where they had placed the port where she would receive the chemotherapy. Below the stitches she could feel a bump where the port actually was.
The second incision was on the outside of her left breast, where the tumor had been removed. The third was under her left arm. This is where they had performed what was called a lymph node dissection. She knew that they only did the procedure if the sentinel node , the lymph node closest to the tumor, was found to be positive. She would have to wait to find out if any of the other nodes had been positive.
Jerrica was hungry, and she had to pee. It was time to get out of bed and make some baby steps toward facing the world again.
Entering the living room, she found Rio sprawled out on the couch. She walks over to him and kisses him on the lips, he wakes up from the kiss, "I thought it was supposed to be a prince that wakes up Sleeping Beauty?" Rio says wrapping the woman he loves in a hug.
She hisses in pain, "Careful, I'm still sore from my surgery."
Rio realized and lightens his hold on her, "Sorry, Babe."
"It's okay," she said. Jerrica looked around the room, "What's all this?"
"Everybody got together on the get-well gifts. There are at least four floral arrangements, two bunches of balloons, a fruit basket and one big stuffed gorilla, all from the foundation and music company." Rio points out.
Jerrica begins to cry, truly at a loss for words, "This was nice of them, this is too much." she says wiping the tears from her eyes.
Jerrica looked at the gorilla with a grimace, "Gimmie." Taking the stuffed animal, she sat down on the couch with a sigh, hugging the gorilla to her chest and crying again.
Rio asks her, "Can I get anything for you?"
"I'm fine, Rio." She says looking at the room filled with the gifts from everybody.
He had expected the 'I'm fine' response. "Jerrica, I know you don't want me here. You want to be strong, independent. But I'm staying the night. I'm going to be over-protective, and I'm going to hover. I'm going to make sure you take your pain meds, eat something, and get your rest."
Jerrica grinned and rested her chin on the the gorilla's head. Rio was pacing back and forth across the room. The sound engineer was thinking about what to say to her. This was excellent.
"What's happening to you could happen to any of us. It could even happen to me. I'm only doing for you what I think I would want you to do for me."
"I hope I never have to return the favor, Rio. But if I do, I will take care of you the same way you want to take care of me." Jerrica told him matter of factly.
The couple look at each other. "Wanna order a pizza?" Jerrica asked her boyfriend.
"Sure, what do you want?" he asked her. "A veggie pizza, no hot peppers. I don't think my stomach can handle spicy foods right now."
Thirty-five minutes after placing a call to Garage Pizza, they had made a decent attack on the pizza and Jerrica was now stretched out on the couch "Resting her eyes."
Two hours later, Rio saw that Jerrica was asleep. He picked her up and carried her bridal style to her bedroom, he placed her on the bed and covered her up, he bent down and gently kissed her on her forehead, "Good night, my love. You are my world." He said to her.
Rio knelt down at her side, made the sign of the cross and prayed, "Father in Heaven, I come to you tonight and ask that you watch over Jerrica. Comfort her, protect her and restore her to health. I place her under your care and ask that you watch over her. Above all, grant me the grace to acknowledge your will and know that whatever you do, you do for the love of us. I pray this in Your Holy name. Amen." He makes the sign of the cross again and quietly goes to the living room and falls asleep on the couch.
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update. I got caught up with things around the house and wanted to make sure I got everything right. The prayer that Rio says is a Catholic prayer for the sick, some of it I thought up and some of it came from the heart. God bless all of you that get cancer and bless your caregivers and families.
