Part Seven
"So he's the new pilot?"
"Uh…yes…"
"And how long did you know?"
"Just found out five seconds ago."
"And when were you planning on telling us, oh so intelligent one?"
"I was going to tell you eventually, don't worry about that."
"I'm sure you were."
"He's the new pilot?"
"Yes, he is."
Asuka wondered just how long she was going to take to tell them. She probably wouldn't have been so defensive with the info if she was planning on just telling them as soon as possible. Well, regardless, that just meant that there was another one of them to pilot the Evas. That meant more competition. Did the threat of another Shinji spur her on, or intimidate her?
"Well, why do they need a Unit 03 anyway?" Asuka asked.
"The more Evas defending the city the better, they feel," Misato said.
"But why Toji?" Shinji asked, confused.
"Well, the truth is that every member of your class, Shinji, is an ideal candidate for piloting an Eva," Misato confessed.
"Even Hikari?"
"Even her, Asuka."
"What about Kensuke?" Shinji asked.
"Yes, although it might not be such a good idea to let him be a pilot," Misato said, considerately.
"Yeah, you're right," Asuka said, "That idiot would probably think it was all a lot of fun."
"But that's why Toji shouldn't pilot," Shinji said, softly, "He'd hate it! I'm sure he would!"
Asuka glanced over at him. He was concerned over his friend's wellbeing? And he vocalized his concerns? The latter surprised Asuka. Never before had she heard Shinji actually make vocalize his concerns for others like that. Was he developing a backbone? Shinji with a backbone was a concept completely alien to Asuka. In fact, the very nature of it both aroused her interest and also disturbed her pleasantly.
"Well, we'll see what happens."
And they did indeed see what happened. The next day, Toji was subdued as he walked in. Had Misato already interrogated him about piloting? Asuka didn't speak, but Shinji did approach him, a concerned expression on his face, and, to Asuka's utter disbelief, actually admitted he knew about him piloting Unit-03. Even more startling, he actually stated his concerns to him. To his face. Right then and there.
The shock Toji felt was nothing compared to Asuka's shock. Where had he grown a spine? How could he have grown a spine? This child, this boy, that idiot, that she had made fun of, humiliated, and even gone as far as to taunt and ridicule over his lack of a backbone, was now sporting a rather firm backbone, a rather strong one, a rather confident one. Where had this happened? Where was she when it was growing?
Those questions remained unanswered as Asuka approached the situation. She could hear Toji stammering, in disbelief, "How did you hear about that?"
"We ran into Misato. She spilt the beans," Asuka replied in Shinji's place.
"So you know too? That just figures," Toji mumbled, "Look, I don't want anything to do with those things. The only reason I agreed was because they said they'd try to treat my sister in their hospital."
"Well, that's an upside," Asuka admitted.
"Toji, it isn't too late to back down," Shinji said, "It really isn't pleasurable. It's actually a horrible experience to pilot."
"A horrible experience?" Just what kinds of things was Shinji experiencing in Eva? She was reminded of him being sucked into the depths of those shadows. He hadn't mentioned anything about what happened in there yet. Maybe he had mentioned it to that Dr. Tamako, though. Maybe she knew about this.
And then it clicked in her mind. It was the shrink. That was the reason Shinji was growing a backbone. That was the secret! The shrink had developed one for him, raised it up from nothing. And that's where that doll Rei had developed a true personality, a vocal one, an understanding one.
What had she grown?
"Hey, Asuka. What're you guys talking about?"
Asuka jumped a little in the air, startled by her friend Hikari's voice. She was about to confess that Toji was now the pilot of Unit-03 when Toji gave her a look that locked the words up in her throat before they could reach Hikari's ears. Naturally, it made sense that Toji didn't want her to know. He wasn't proud of being a pilot. Why would he want the entire world to know his business?
"It's nothing," Asuka replied.
"Sure doesn't look like nothing," Hikari said, "I thought I heard you guys talking about Unit-03."
"No point hiding it now," Toji mumbled. Asuka had to comment that his will sure was weak if he was going to give up that easily. Hell, even Shinji would fare better. Well, maybe.
"Toji's the newly selected pilot of Unit-03," Shinji said, darkly.
"That's fantastic!" Hikari said, amazed, "Listen, we have to celebrate!"
"Why?" Toji asked, "What's to celebrate about? All those damned machines do is just cause trouble and hurt people."
"Well, that's one way of looking at things," Hikari admitted, "But to think that you're actually protecting all those lives with that machine. You're like a hero to so many now, Toji. Just like Asuka and Shinji and Rei."
"But it isn't so simple," Shinji said, "Some of the things we see in there are horrible. And I don't even know what the Evas even are."
"Aren't they just huge machines?" Asuka aksed.
"I don't think so," Shinji said, "I think there's more to it than that. But I don't know what else there can be."
"Well, it doesn't matter, right?" Toji mumbled, "All I need to know is that once Unit-03 reaches Japan, I'm piloting it."
"Well, I don't know about how little it matters," Shinji said, cautiously, "I just think that you should be careful. That's all."
"Okay, if you say so."
Later that day, Kaji arrived at Misato's apartment to take Asuka to Dr. Tamako's. Asuka had lost the vigor she had felt around Kaji, and simply strode over to him, plopping herself down gently in the seat beside him. Kaji noticed the difference immediately.
"What's the mater? Unhappy?" Kaji asked.
"Not that. Just…"
"You're in love, aren't you?" Kaji asked, smiling.
Asuka grinned. "Is it that obvious?"
"Oh, I can see it in your eyes, clear as day. Let me guess. It's the Third Child, isn't it?"
Asuka grinned again. "That idiot?"
"Why not? You both have an awful lot in common. Both pilots. Both young. Both rather magnificent children with much to offer."
"Well, he's spineless, I'm beautiful. What does he have to offer that I don't already have?"
"Well, if I were to be bluntly obvious, he does have that Y chromosome you lack."
"Funny."
"I remember watching a movie years ago. It survived the Second Impact, as it were. An American movie. I believe it was called Moonstruck, or something to that effect."
"What's your point?"
"One of the characters mentions how men seek women out because, in the beginning, Adam's rib was removed to create Eve. Perhaps man is simply seeking woman to complete himself, as woman is seeking to return to Adam."
"So are you saying I'm a rib?"
"Not exactly," Kaji said, "What I mean is that you are the rib that Shinji so desperately seeks."
"Maybe more like an entire backbone."
"Perhaps, but perhaps not," Kaji said, smiling thinly, "You never know when it comes to true love."
"True love?"
"Yes, true love. Frightening concept. Love for the remainder of your days. You never know when you'll come across it. You may even be in denial that such a thing even exists, and yet it is undeniable that, once you fall in true love, you can never escape it. No matter how much you ignore it, the feelings will only consume you. Consume you until you allow love to merge the two of you into one being."
And so the trip went on until, finally, Asuka arrived at the psychologist's office. At once, she went to Dr. Tamako's office, plopping herself down on the recliner as Dr. Tamako replied, a smile on her face, anxiously wriggling her fingers, "So?"
"What?"
"Remember last session?"
"It was only a few days ago."
"But do you remember your assignment?"
"About seeing how people treated me?" Asuka had almost forgotten about that. If anything, it had been wiped from her mind after the entire Toji affair, as it came to be known.
"Yes. Any difference?"
"Well…" Asuka remembered Hikari's face, remembered how everything had been normal. Even Misato hadn't changed. Kaji still treated her the same. The only thing that changed was Shinji, and he was growing up, becoming a man, right in front of Asuka's eyes. Nothing had grown for the worse, only changed for the better. So, with a smile, Asuka confessed, "Nothing's gotten worse. If anything, for the first time in a long time, I'm actually…happy…"
Dr. Tamako smiled, "I'm glad to hear that, Asuka."
"I couldn't believe it at first. I mean, I had thought that winning was everything. And I still want to win. That hasn't changed. I just feel more optimistic about it. Just all around…happier. I don't know how exactly to describe it. Everything is just better for me."
"What about your lover?"
"Are you talking about Shinji?"
"So he isn't 'the idiot' now? Seems like things are improving."
"Well, let's not jump the gun here. He's still an idiot. That isn't different. But he's changed. He's grown up more."
"So have you."
"How so?"
"Well, believe me when I say that you've been changing since I met you. They are still many things that can improve. They are things that are causing you pain deep inside that I'm sure you've locked away from me. Hopefully in time we can change that."
The image of a doll hanging from the rafters of the ceiling emerged for a brief second in Asuka's mind before dissolving away. The image was faint now, and the effects minimal.
"Still, you've grown into a woman. I'm happy for you."
Asuka smiled.
Afterwards, the next day, to be exact, Asuka noticed that Toji was nowhere to be seen. She knew where he was, of course. Testing Unit-03. Misato was gone too that day. Kensuke, still in the dark, joked about where Kaji could have been. But Hikari approached Asuka, and asked, gently, "You know where he is, right? Toji, I mean."
"Yeah. Synching with Unit-03 for the first time," Asuka said, "He should be fine."
"I hope so."
The day proceeded slowly, but the slow procession was interrupted by the sounds of a siren. Asuka leapt to her feet, in shock. Shinji rose to his feet as well, along with Rei. The three of them exchanged looks. They knew what the sign meant.
An angel attack was imminant.
