A/N: Ok I am sorry I'm a bit late on the update. This is a sad chapter, I'm warning you ahead of time. Big thanks to everyone who has stayed with this story and a big welcome to all new readers! It is a bit short but I wanted it to be a short chapter, basically detailing how Dimitri is feeling

Chapter 7

Dear Diary

It has now been a week since I lost my Roza. I haven't been the same since the day she walked out of my life. My heart broke more and more every day. Lissa had excused me from work since if I went I certainly wouldn't do my job.

I sat in mine and Rose's apartment all day. She had left to stay with a moroi friend of hers named Taylor. She would have stayed with Lissa but I'm pretty sure after what she said about Tasha Christian would be upset and on edge the whole time she was there.

I had tried so many times to bring her back. Yesterday I went to Taylor's apartment looking for her. Taylor with her blue green eyes and shoulder length brown hair answered the door with a scowl on her face. She eventually, after an hour of begging, sent me home. Ever since I have been sitting on the couch with a bottle of Russian Vodka in my hand. I haven't slept much since Rose left either.

I had put the radio on hoping it would drown out my thoughts. It didn't help. A song came on that made me think of my Roza. What's Left Of Me by Nick Lachey. It was exactly how I felt. I sang softly and sadly along with the lyrics as they played.

"Take what's left

Of this man

Make me whole

Once again

Cause I want you,

And I feel you,

Crawling underneath my skin

Like a hunger,

Like a burning,

To find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken,

And I'm faded,

I'm half the man I thought I would be

But you can have what's left of me"

I missed her so much it killed me. I felt like a crazy person. My days consisted of going to Taylor's apartment to try and talk to her, calling her, texting her, e-mailing her, and asking her friends about her. And when I wasn't doing all that I was remembering her. Dreaming of her. Missing her. Loving her. Everything reminded me of her. Seeing her make up on the dresser. Finding her hair brush in the bathroom. Old pictures of us together. Everything. I felt lost without her. It's completely true the saying You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til it's Gone.

As I took a swig of the Russian Vodka I missed her even more. Russian Vodka was her favorite. When we would drink together she liked to make up silly drinking games. She once made one up that you had to take a shot every time you wanted to kiss the other person. We drank 3 bottles that night.

As I smiled at the memories I missed her even more. I wish she would come home. And as I sat alone in our apartment, watching our home movies, under her blanket, drinking her favorite drink, I knew my heart was truly broken.

I put the bottle down and curled under her blanket. It smelled like her. She had this natural smell on her combined with her perfume. Vanilla and cookies. Always the same. She knew I loved it because it was sweet. Just like her. I didn't realize how much I took her for granted until I noticed the little things missing from my life. There were so many things missing. Her waking me up with a sweet kiss, hearing her sing in the shower, and even holding her in my arms while we slept. Sleeping alone….is the worst.

So as I lay alone in our apartment I listen to the sound of my breaking heart…