Amanda waited a while outside Olivia's door before knocking. She felt like she was intruding. Not only in Olivia's home but also in her life. She sighed and rapped her hand against the door. .
Olivia opened the door and greeted the detective as cheerily as she could. That wasn't very cheerily.
"Hello, welcome in" Amanda got a panicked look in her eyes and Olivia immediately felt for the woman, even if she hated that she was here.
"Hi Detective Benson. I've heard you know why I'm here." Amanda tried to sound formal, and though her choice of words was formal the fact that her voice was shaking and that she was to didn't exactly give the professional impression she was hoping for.
"You're investigating my… my…" Even though Olivia had accepted the fact that she had to talk about this, had to be the victim, had to press charges she still couldn't say it. She was still unable to actually say it in those words to this poor trembling detective who seemed to think this conversation was just as awkward as she did.
"I'm investigating your… case" Amanda finished for Olivia, sparing her having to make the decision of avoiding saying it or seeming even more like a victim by avoiding it.
"Yes, my… case"
"I know what… happened… so we don't have to talk about that now." Amanda's voice was still trembling despite her trying to stop it doing so.
Olivia was thankful that the detective wouldn't jump straight in to the 'what happened' and felt a bit better with the situation. Not much though.
"So what do you want to ask me?" Olivia knew that this conversation wouldn't be easy, even if they were avoiding the 'what happened' and she just wanted it to be over with.
"About how it was going to go, the pressing charges." Amanda felt bad about all of this, she was going to investigate a case that was so straight forward it hardly needed any investigation but that was going to ruin, or at least severely cripple a woman's life and career. A woman who was going to press charges despite this, despite the fact that everyone already was sexist against her because she was a female cop. They wouldn't get any better once this was out.
"Are you okay?" The blond had gone silent and was staring in to space.
And Amanda then Amanda started to sob. Fuck, fuck, fuck not now not with her not…
Olivia saw the other detective go quiet for a while and then start to cry. Her protective victim-helping-instincts kicked in and she went to her side and put her arm around her.
"Hey there…. Shh" Olivia tried to comfort her without knowing what to say or what was wrong.
Amanda sobbed even more and curled up against the quite confused brunette beside her.
They sat like that for a little while, Olivia trying to comfort Amanda, and Amanda trying to get a fucking grip which she ultimately succeeded in. Amanda pulled away from the detective, trying to get her face to return to the professional expression she had worn before but couldn't succeed.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me I'll make sure Cragen sends someone else…" Amanda spoke hurriedly and rushed out of Olivia's apartment, leaving Olivia confused, but also with just the thing she needed, a case to solve.
Olivia picked up her phone and dialled a number she thought she'd avoid for a long time. The woman on the other line picked up immediately.
"Olivia?" Melinda couldn't mask her confusion. She thought Olivia would avoid her for as long she possibly could.
"Amanda talked to you, didn't she?" The thoughts raced in Melinda's head. Everything from oh god did she hurt Olivia to oh god has something happened to Rollins.
"Yes" She didn't know what else to say.
"Did you notice… anything special with her?" Melinda was still confused.
"Like… what?"
"Like anything. But I guess you didn't notice… anything then.
"Not really?" Melinda sounded hesitant, as if she wanted to say more but was unsure what exactly.
"Thank anyways" Olivia hung up the phone and left Melinda wondering what had just happened.
Finally a thought dawned on her. She sounds like when she has a case…
"I can't do this Cragen" Amanda was pacing her hotel room while talking. She had already started packing. She just wanted to get out of the city, out of this case, out of everything. Now. Her voice was trembling and she really tried to control it, but she wasn't very successful.
"But Olivia agreed to talk with you?" Cragen had a feeling that wasn't the issue but felt it was safest to just talk about the case. Otherwise Amanda might just hang up.
"I just can't. Get someone else. If she's willing to press charges the case is simple" Amanda was still fighting back tears and the last thing she wanted was crying in front of both Olivia and Cragen on the same day. Or really ever. She took a deep breath and tried to control her voice.
"She's not going to talk to someone else" Cragen knew this wasn't fair. But it had worked with Olivia. The 'think of the victim' angle.
"Well I can't talk with her!" Amanda nearly screamed. She was already regretting saying that. And in that tone. And the 'I can't'. This isn't about you Rollins
"Why not." Cragen was taken aback by her reply. Something happened.
"I just can't. I'm sorry. I'm going back to Atlanta" And with that Amanda ended the call. She threw her phone across the room and started sobbing, finally feeling like she could cry.
Cragen stared at his phone for a while trying to figure out what had happened. Something clearly had. He started to dial Olivia's number but was interrupted by her calling him.
"Olivia! I wanted to talk to you." Cragen was surprised by her calling. He thought she'd want to stay away from him, at least for a while. Olivia wasn't exactly happy with what he had done.
"Is Amanda leaving?" Olivia sounded hurried.
"Yes, wait, how did you know she was going to leave?" Cragen was incredibly confused. As far as he knew Olivia would be happy with that if anything. He had almost been afraid Olivia would scare Rollins away, on purpose.
"She broke down while talking to me." Olivia said it quickly, like she had more important things to do.
"Wait, what?" Cragen wanted an explanation. This explained why Amanda wanted to leave but not why Olivia… cared. She had hardly been happy that Amanda was here in the first place.
"I need to call her. I'll call you back." And with only that as an explanation for what had just happened Cragen was left to wonder.
