Hello! Pouncival's Tale is a story told primarily from Pouncival's perspective. If you enjoy this chapter, why not read the sequel, called: 'be cat'? Enjoy!

CHAPTER 7: TUGGER GOT ANGRY AND I WASN'T TOO HAPPY EITHER.

Now look here, title. I made a deal that I wouldn't go all capitals anymore and you have to keep up your end of the bargain. Capiche?

Chapter 7: Sorry, Tugger got angry and I wasn't too happy, either?

Not sure about the question mark, but that will have to do.

Hello. My name is Pouncival and I'm an awesome rock star of a cat. I'm like, the coolest thing since sliced ice, the rockingest thing since a wheeled chair and the most bouncy thing since Tigger. Not Tugger, Tigger. I am hot property and anyone who is anyone knows about me.

That is, of course, not completely true. But for the purposes of this story, let's just assume it, kay?

So where was I? Yes, Tugger was dragging me by the ear to my mother's den. Not a good start. All of my friends had been there, hoping to see an awesome fight, but instead all they got was Tugger punching me to the floor and saying he was going to tell my mother-

-wait, what? Why would he take me to my mother's? That doesn't make a whole bunch of sense. I mean, he just hit me. I can hardly see out of my left eye it's swollen over so badly, so surely if we go to any reasonable adult it is going to go down. They'll totally tell him off. It'll be awesome. I bet I get to watch. Ow this hurts my ear.

"Would you let go, please?" I yell, yanking myself out of his grip. Tugger turned around. He looked mad.

"I was going to let you go anyway." Tugger smirked as he wrapped his arm around me. I flinched a little, he chuckled. "What do you see, Pouncival?"

I looked around. I guess I had been caught up in my monologue a little bit, because right now I couldn't hardly see anything. Looking around I had no idea where he'd taken me, definitely part of the Junkyard I hadn't been to before. People forget how big that thing is. I mean, it's pretty darn big. Think of how big a bowling ball is if you're an ant, or how big the sun is if you're a grain of sand, or how big your debt is if you're a student. We're talking that kind of big. I guess. I don't know what most of those things mean.

"I dunno." I briefly considered blowing in his face again, but thought better of it.

"Awesome." Tugger smiled as he released me. He was about to say something else, but I guess I kind of cut him off by blurting out "TUMBLY!" at the top of my lungs.

Because Tumblebrutus was approaching, obviously.

If there's one thing that still confuses me to this day, it's what would have happened had I not said anything. Would Tugger have just left me there? I dunno. I mean I hope not, because that would be really scary. And I don't like scary. That's not my thing.

I bit my lip.

It was an accident. I'm not sure why I really told you that, especially considering the obvious pain coming from my swollen eye after Tugger punched me earlier. It just felt right.

Tumblebrutus placed his paw on my shoulder. I smiled at him and he smiled back, before darting his head at Tugger. "Now look, I may just be a kitten but I think..."

Tumblebrutus started talking and, um, I think he said some things. I don't really know what. Very quickly I got distracted because in my head I thought of how you could have these drawings where they're all really colourful ponies that bounce around but one of them has got hair all the colours of the rainbow and she's really cool and already my favourite. Oh, and she'd have goggles like a pilot.

You can see how that would be more important than whatever Tumbly had to say.

But no sooner had I begun finalising the drawings in my head that Tugger was all up in my business again.

"Him?! Hah!" Tugger made those noises really bluntly, he was looking at me like I was just some random kitten. And I ain't no random kitten. I'm like, fifteen. That's old! Fifteen year olds can do what they want! And Tumbly is sixteen so that's not bad either and actually I really probably should be focussing on the whole 'Tugger being up in my face' problem.

I blew in his eyes again.

Tugger kicked me in the leg.

Ow.

Tumbly helped me back up to my feet. I guess I should really stop blowing in people's eyes. I would have told Tumbly about my conundrum, but he seemed to be big into something else, I don't really know what. I shrugged.

OH WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO BRING UP THIS MORNI-

Chapter 7: Hey, I thought we had a deal where neither of us gets to use all capital letters.

Oh right. Sorry, chapter 7. No offence given.

Chapter 7: None taken.

So anyway. Remember this morning? No? I don't blame you. From your perspective, I guess it happened a long time ago.

For those who don't remember, this morning I saw something pretty darn shocking. Picture the scene. I'm chilling on top of my chair, very high up there, loving life, no strife. Suddenly I see something that to me is really weird to see.

I'll stop the rhymes. Tugger and Tumbly left the same den one after another. Yeah, I think they were doing things. Icky things. And you all know how I feel about the 'icky'. This struck me as the perfect opportunity to bring it up – nobody else around, just us three. I still didn't know where the hell we were, but whatever...

And admittedly, I could have phrased it better. It was probably a bit blunt to just say "You two totally did it earlier", but hey, that's what I said. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Priceless. Tumbly blushed up to high heaven, he covered his face in his paws and everything! Tugger just seemed to get madder and he kicked me in the leg again.

I really need to stop getting kicked.

"Prove it." Tugger spat, he was looking all mad and his fur was sticking up in the air. I didn't think he'd be angry about it! I was just pointing out that I knew! Or was guessing! I mean I was totally guessing, I really didn't think – but their reactions totally prove it! I'm such an awesome detective. Detective Pounce... yes, that has an excellent ring to it. Detective Pounce, don't mispronounce, he's gonna solve all the criiiiiimes!

What a song.

Tumbly looked upset. "It's okay I mean, there's nothing wrong with it... don't tell mum and dad..." I felt a bit guilty. But the whole point of even saying this was to say it was okay, right? Let them know that was cool, then they'd be together forever and Tugger would leave Etcy alone and she could be mine and everything would be awesome.

Except it didn't get that far.

"Listen here, twerp." Tugger punched me in the arm. I was really beginning to get sick of being punched/kicked. "You tell anyone about this and I'll...I'll... I don't know what I'll do, but it'll be bad and you won't like it!"

I shuddered. That did not sound like something I would enjoy. But hey, I wasn't being me. I was being Detective Pounce. "You two should just be together, see?" I borrowed that last bit from something I heard a human say. It was awesome. "You both together forever, see? And then you can leave Etcy alone, see? She's mine, see?!"

And then something happened that I didn't expect.

"Hey, yo..." Tugger shook his head at me, a smirk appearing across his face. "What do you think you mean when you say that Etcetera is 'yours'? Queens aren't property. They're cats. I'm sorry that she decided she finds me more attractive than you, but that's life, bud." He tried to kick me in the leg again but I jumped backwards out of the way. It was awesome. Probably not as awesome as what he said but...

"And as far as 'us' being together goes... sometimes, grown up cats like touching each other. Deal with it. That doesn't mean we're suddenly some big item and 'together forever'. So if it's alright with you, I'm going to keep being me and doing what I like best. I suggest for your sake you start being you and doing what you like best. Whatever that is."

Tugger turned to walk away, but after taking a few steps he spoke again.

"Don't be the cat who gets stuck in a rut. Be the one who does crazy stuff. Kiss a tom, kiss a queen. Explore and experience. Don't get caught doing the same thing over and over, mix it up as much as you can. Find someone you like and if they like you back hard enough, you won't have to worry about me swooping in and being awesome."

After a few more steps, Tugger completely turned and yelled.

"By the way – nice dodge! I figured if I kept kicking you you'd dodge eventually!"

And with that, he turned and left.

I looked at Tumbly. He looked at me and started laughing. I kind of started laughing too, I'm not really sure why. Everything just felt awesome all of a sudden, I could tell Tumbly felt the same way too. It was weird, everything that had happened today seemed to be building to something ridiculous, but I couldn't see it. As it happened, everything had been building to me nursing a few wounds and hugging Tumbly.

I guess that's not a shocker, I mean, Wednesdays tend to be full of this sort of nonsense.

But, oh my gosh, you aren't going to believe what happened on Thursday...


Oh, wait a minute! That wasn't how the story ended at all! Gosh, I'm so forgetful these days.

So, we were standing in this clearing right, when Tumbly pointed out that we didn't know where we were! What a lark. I mean, obviously it was kinda scary at the time but that was only because he didn't realise yet that I was Detective Pounce. I swiftly told him.

"I am Detective Pounce."

I probably didn't need to put that in quote marks, but whatever. So Tumbly did this thing that he does sometimes when I speak and just sort of shrugged and slapped himself in the forehead while making this big exasperated sigh. And I'm all like, dude, get off my grill already. I'm a detective now. I'll just detect.

So I went the way that Tugger went to leave, but really quickly I figured that was a bad idea because everything was really spiky there. Like, there was this big pit on the side all filled with glass and stuff. Tumbly pointed at it and told me I shouldn't stand near it because I'd probably just fall in and then he'd have to be a superhero and fly in to save me. I called him Tumble-Man, Detective Pounce's Mild-Mannered Sidekick.

He pointed out that he's a tomcat, not a man, so I renamed him Tumble-Cat, Detective Pounce's Pedantic Sidekick. He liked that name and we decided to go a different way that wasn't anywhere near something spiky. A good move by all accounts.

So we dashed back into the big clearing and started walking around this massive car thingy. It was huge, yellow and had a claw on it. I'm not making this up. Frankly, I tried not to even look at it because I imagined that at night it came to life and ate all the other cars to get biggerer and strongerer than anything else. I told Tumble-Cat and he just said that 'biggerer' and 'strongerer' weren't words. He has no imagination.

But, to be fair, then he did this awesome backflip, so you have to say that he makes a valid point.

We wandered through this weird narrow gap leading out of the clearing, it was really hard to squeeze through and we had to get all crouched down and everything, but we had to go that way because Tumble-Cat said he could smell something yummy at the other side of it. And if there's one thing you can trust in this world, it's Tumbly's tumbly.

Y'know, tumbly. Like, tummy? How a kit would say tummy? Hey, you knew the standard of humour to expect when you came into this, it's your own fault if you're still here. But stick around because we're almost at the end. I know, right? It's almost over. The story is nearing its conclusion and grand finale. Hopefully it will all prove to be worthwhile.

We got through this gap and there was nothing. Nada. No yummy smells or anything, which was weird because Tumble-Cat's nose is rarely wrong. Being an awesome world-class infamous detective, I questioned him on this. He had no answer, so I sadly informed him that I was going to be forced to give him a demotion.

The area we found ourselves in was quite small, but it had a big pathway in front of us that was going up a mound of junk. I took a deep breath and informed Tumble-Cat: Detective Pounce's Incorrect Assistant that we were going to climb it. He asked if that was because it would give us a good vantage point and thus be able to find our way back to the main part of the Junkyard. I responded:

"...sure. Yes. That's, I mean, yeah, that's pretty much what I, uhm, what?"

He reiterated his statement and we climbed.

The thing that people often forget about me and Tumble-Cat is that we're incredible climbers. If there was a competition in the 'yard for who is the best climber, me and Tumble-Cat would totally win. Or like, come joint-first. Plato sometimes climbs things but not really very often, so it's not like we've got any competition. Etcetera once climbed something and I thought it was really cool which is probably why I like her so much. Then again, she obviously just likes Tugger so maybe I'm just going to stop thinking about her all the time. Probably for the best.

It took a little while for us to climb to the top of this mound, but when we got there... well, perhaps I should just tell you what we said:

"You're a genius." That was me saying that. I said it all huskily, because I was tired from climbing stuff. "And look! Over there! The 'yard!" I was pointing at the Junkyard, you see. Detective Pounce strikes again.

"Cool. D'you wanna just... sit for a little bit? I'm tired." Tumble-Cat said as he sat down on the chair that was on top of the big pile of junk. I swiftly joined him. The chair was sooooo comfy! It was like my chair but all cushion-y! Note to self: get cushion for chair in Junkyard. Safe. I can sit on that from now on and everything will be even more comfier! My life is awesome.

So, we sat for a while. It's hard to kinda explain exactly what was happening up there, but let me put it to you straight: we talked. It's probably not all that important to the story for me to tell you what we talked about, hell, maybe that's a story for another time! But what I oughta say is that we ended up kinda cuddling a little bit and watching the Jellicles from all the way up there. Everything was so peaceful.

Maybe that's why Tumbly said what he said next. I think he was feeling sentimental. But I gotta tell you because it's so important – what he said to me I'll never ever forget, because it made me so happy:

"I love you, Pounce. I know you probably think it's really weird that I'd say something like that, but I just want you to know that I love you. You're the best bro anyone could ever have."

And that, kids, is the story of how I met your mother.

Sorry, no, that's not right. I mean, it would have been a better ending than that show had, but I'm pretty confident that wasn't the point of this story.

Because this most certainly was the story of my favourite memory of Tumbly. Or, as he was known on that day, Tumble-Cat: Detective Pouncival's Bestest Brother In The Whole Wide Universe.

We hugged for about a billion hours before climbing down the hill and re-entering the Junkyard, and I'll never forget how happy I felt sitting up there with him, just watching the whole world pass by. I don't think the world will ever feel that peaceful again.

END.


Well, I hope you enjoyed Pouncival's Tale! See, it only took... almost ten years to write!

As noted in the intro, if you'd like to read more Pouncival silliness, I recommend you check out the (completed) sequel: be cat. And after that, hell, why not move onto the less comic and much more tragic third part of the Pouncival Trilogy: Ill.

Thanks for reading!