Riza spent the next morning of her day off for the week, in a haze.

Her guilt was pretty bad. She'd almost given up when she thought he was dead. Now she felt just as useless as then. Even if he was still alive he had been irrevocably damaged by the transmutation. And she hadn't been able to prevent it, just like she couldn't prevent Lust from running him through with her deadly nails. Once again she had unintentionally let down her superior. The one person she would follow into hell, even if he asked her to.

Blaming herself got neither of them anywhere, but she could not help the overwhelming sense that if she had been at his side she could have done something. Had Bradley not had her in his pocket like some bauble he stole from Mustang she might have had the chance to spare him this degradation.

Riza wanted to show up at his apartment. If for no other reason than to beg him for forgiveness for not fulfilling her duty. She had a made a promise to him just as he had to her, even if circumstances made it almost impossible to achieve. Without him, she had no goal, her goal was to help him reach his.

There was no doubt that Roy's ideaology could do Amestris a lot of good. He could reshape the government into something of a democracy that would lessen the power of any one man at the top. But he couldn't do that if he couldn't trust the people he rallied to his cause. If his supporters were ineffective in their jobs how could he ever see his dream come to fruition?

Riza brewed a cup of tea trying desperately to remember that the blame was not on her. She stared at the darkening fluid. If only she had been closer to him, or been able to at least checl on him more frequently. Then Bradley's men might not have gotten the chance to sneak up on the Colonel. Or perhaps they would both be chimera now. Or worse.

Despite her best efforts she knew that from now on it would be even harder to not attempt to put a bullet through Bradley's skull. Everyday she was there at his side constantly within easy range of her enemy, but impulsive action was not her nature. She withheld from attempting to end him not only because it was futile, but because it would ruin the plans everyone was so carefully building. To throw months of work away to get back at someone as vile as he would be a selfish waste.

She could imagine how good it would feel, to see him stare at her in complete shock as the life drained from him. She was so close to him all the time, but he kept her there as a warning and as a pet. She knew he would see her actions for what they were before she drew her weapon. And then that sword of his would probably run her through.

Would he kill her quickly? Leaving a body for Mustang to mourn over like Hughes? Would she endure a painful wound just long enough for Wrath to enjoy watching Roy suffer yet more torture at his hands? That would most likely be it. He'd want the Flame Alchemist to be so devastated there would be no rebellion left in him. She had to remain calm in Bradley's presence and keep her head down. His day of reckoning was fast approaching.

But this was Mustang, the man she had watched from the shadows of her childhood home, the man she gave her darkest secrets to and in turn kept his, the man she had saved numerous times in Ishval, the man she protected from Scar and other assassins, and the man she hope would one day make this world a better place. How could Bradley decide he had the right to screw around with someone's life?

She sipped the tea out of habit than desire for the taste. Her nose and lips crinkled as she swallowed. It was just as bitter as her thoughts at the moment. "Hayate what have we gotten ourselves into?" She asked the dog patiently sitting at her side. He whined eager to heal whatever pain his master was feeling. A halfhearted sile graced her lips as she felt the dog nuzzle her thigh.

"I really hope we know what we're doing." She murmured. There was no way this could end good. It would end bloody, it would end in chaos, it would certainly end with a lot of complications, but it would not end like the stories from childhood. How could it when so much had already been taken from them?

Jean Havoc had given his legs, the Elrics their freedom, Maria Ross her honor, Hughes his life, Scar his name, Lanfan her arm, Winry her peace of mind, and now Roy had given his humanity. All because they sought the answers to their own separate goals. Goals that had all lead them to the same terrifying source. The very head of their beloved country was a corrupt monster and it's heart nothing more than an engine to do its will. A will so grim and dark there was hardly any hope to hold onto.

How she wished she could speak with the Colonel right now. Somehow, in her darkest moments he was always there to shed a little light on her. Finding hope in him was easy, even with hands so stained with blood it could never be washed off. Roy always saw the silver lining, the chance to take from a bad situation even the tinest of value and turn towards bettering the world for next time.

How he could do this she didn't know. Maybe he was so bent on alchemy's first law being truth that he looked at every single event under the idea that for something good to happen something bad happened first. While it sounded flawed it made a lot of sense as well.

After a while of her just sitting and moping Hayate barked at the door impatiently. Prompted to get up and do something she walked the dog. It did her good to be reminded of the things they fought for. Like the children who came up to her asking to pet her dog or the elderly couple seated at a bench enjoying the view.

"How silly I can be." Riza murmured to herself. What would Roy think if he knew she had been depressed over him? He'd probably yell at her again. That just wouldn't do, she had let him down enough as it was. She had to keep on striving for their goal, do whatever she could to help him, and she couldn't let these current hurdles slow them down. There was a date coming when the country and quite possibly the world would need them to stand tall and fearless in the face of their true enemy.

Three days later she spotted Roy in the cafeteria looking tired but healthier. The bruising on his face had faded considerably as had the stress marks from having been transmuted. But his eyes were haunted. She could always recognize when he was suffering. Perhaps he was wondering what other horrors the military had partook in over the years or maybe he worried about how she was handling the situation.

Though she knew his heart was much larger than anyone outside of his trusted ring believed, she wished he would worry about himself for a change. What a truly amazing man she had the honor of knowing. Someday she would see him at the top lending his desire to protect to every citizen.

Without hesitation she sat at his table and said nothing for a long while. She just went about eating her stew in a silent show of solidarity.

Roy's eyes brightened at her sudden appearance but he remaiend stoic, most likely afraid that anything he said would give something away. After a few minutes had passed like this he huffed out a sigh to get her attention. When her eyes rose to meet his he quirked a half smile.

"Thank you Lt." He murmued softly.

"For what?" She asked. "I merely do my duty."

Roy stretched and picked up his empty tray, "As long as I know you are, I can too." He whispered before standing and walking away. Riza closed her eyes and fought a gentle smile. Even in her own pain she could still give him support, still remind him that she was there for him. It felt good to know that for once she could give him some hope. They could get through this. No matter what this would not stop them just like nothing else in the past had.