If you want to know who's my beta-reader, read in the notes at the begging of the other chapters.
Well, now that I finally achieved to avoid being flamed (literally) by the Authors' League, here's other chapter with a thing I'm sure you all have been waiting for (though it won't come exactly in a normal way. But when does things go normal on Brawl?).
Chapter 7 A Multi-job with Extra Brawl
"So you have a match today." Link repeated what Samus had just told him.
She had come to his room that morning and (once again) woken him up. This time, by pulling the covers from his bed. Samus told him that they were going to have breakfast down in the dining hall, since she had to prepare herself for the match that would start right after lunch.
"I trust you can handle things on your own, right?" the bounty huntress asked.
"Please. How old do you think I am?" Link replied.
"To be honest, I don't have any idea, and I don't really care. And who knows, you could get stuck with a job that involves half of the mansion and not be able to take the pressure."
"And what are the chances of that happening?"
Considering the purpose of this fic, I would say very high and... hold still. It's my cell phone again. Hello?
Oh... you again...
Ok, ok. I'm going to stop spoiling the plot.
...
Lowering my salary again if I don't stop doing this? But if you do that, I'll only have enough to buy food. I do have my necessities too, you know? Narrators also have feelings and... ! Hello? Hello? ... why does nobody cares about how the narrator feels?
... oh, well. Going back to the story.
Link and Samus arrived at the dining hall. As soon as they separated to get to the large, rectangular tables that contained different deserts and foods, Link was approached by Ike, Snake, Bowser, Captain Falcon and Zelda.
"Yo, Link!" Ike called. "Bowser here told you and Samus had a 'moment' between yourselves."
"Moment?" Link repeated. As you can see, our Hero isn't exactly versed in slangs and terms about... you know.
"Like, the 'moment' Zelda and Ike had in that hotel." Snake pointed out, biting the bun he had in his right hand.
"Exactly. And... wait a minute. How did you know?" Ike questioned turning to Snake and blushing. It seemed the Crimean mercenary had yet to tell any of them about his special night with Zelda.
"I have my means." was all that Snake said.
"We wanted to congratulate you, pal." Captain Falcon said, passing one arm around Link's shoulders in a friendly manner, while the Hylian was still holding his plate with his two hands and now started to blush and avoided looking to the troupe. "Who knew you would be the one to tame the beast? No offense, Bowser." Falcon added, looking to the Koopa.
"None taken." Bowser replied.
"I have to say I was surprised when I heard your and Samus' relationship was already that advanced." Zelda spoke.
Link shot the Princess a look that said "not you too". He wanted to say to them that it was not what they were thinking, but their constant cheering and congratulations weren't giving him any chance. He just prayed that Samus wasn't nearby and...
"What are you all harassing him for?" speaking of the devil...
Link froze in his place and slowly turned to look at Samus. Falcon still had his left arm around his "best buddy's" shoulders and a grin plastered on his face. He and the others also looked at Samus and Link prayed, to all the goddesses he could remember that existed in the different worlds, they would not open their mouths and say they thought he and Samus had...
"Just congratulating the lucky guy here." Bowser spoke. Link shot him a (badass) death glare.
"For what? You know what, I don't care. Link, let's go. You still have to return and open Steel 'n' Blade." Samus said.
Link (gladly) walked away of Falcon and left the group behind. However, while he was still at hearing range, the Hero caught Snake saying:
"I can see who wears the pants in this relationship." laughs followed the spy's line.
Not being able to hold himself and being moved by his manly pride, Link turned to them and shouted:
"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
The noise in the dining hall stopped. Even the gluttons Kirby and Yoshi stopped attacking all food within their range when heard the altered voice of the normally calm Hylian. Zelda had her right eyebrow raised while the rest of the group that had been picking on Link just looked at him, seeming a little startled by his sudden outburst.
The Hero then realized everybody was looking to him and looked down in embarrassment. Why couldn't he control himself and simply ignore that? Why? Simple my friend: no man wants to be made fun of by the fact his girlfriend in the one that dominates the relationship, even if it's true or he has no relationship.
"Who's not your girlfriend?" Samus asked, looking at Link with a look that asked if he had got crazy.
"Uh... hum... well..." the Hero stuttered, unable to find a good excuse. He decided to change the subject. "Oh look. They have cookies there."
Link said, going to another table where there was, indeed, a plate full of cookies.
Samus looked at the green clad swordsman in a devious way, thinking he was hiding something from her... as if he couldn't be any more obvious.
- / - / - / -
Link made the way back to his room alone and entered. He approached the table and sat in the chair behind it. It kinda made him feel out of place, being so used to have Samus behind that chair or just around to chat and taunt him from time to time.
Before the Hero could delve deeper into thoughts about his (gorgeous) friend, the door opened and all Link could see was a blue blur entering.
"Hi Sonic." The green clad swordsman greeted, already being used to that. I mean, who else could move faster than sound itself and was blue? Not counting Flacon's race car, of course.
"Link, good to see you, pal. I have an emergency here." Sonic said. His tone was one of urgency. "You see, somebody stole my sneakers."
Link inclined over the table to look at the hedgehog's feet. He then pointed out:
"Hum, did you think about looking on your feet?" the Hero asked, wondering if Samus would have charged Sonic just by making she lose her time with that.
"I'm not talking about these." Sonic said, pointing to the shoes he was wearing. "I'm talking about my first pair, the ones I used in my first game. They are worth a lot, sentimentally I mean." the hedgehog's tone turned sad. It seemed those sneakers were really important to him. "You sure know what I'm talking about, since your series is as old as mine."
"Actually, I'm not…" however, before Link could explain, he was interrupted (again and once more), by a voice coming from the open door of his room/Steel 'n' Blade's office.
"So this is Steel 'n' Blade Co? Hu, I was expecting something… bigger." Link and Sonic looked to the door and to their surprise Shadow, Sonic's darker version and rival, was stepping inside the room. "Well, at least the crew seems capable." the black hedgehog said, looking at Link.
"You!" Sonic shouted, pointing to his rival.
"Well, well, what do we have here? Did you goody-doers decided to have a conference or something?" Shadow spoke.
Link could only look from one hedgehog to another. Sometimes, he swore Shadow could give Samus a run for her money in the field of taunts and sarcasm. Sonic put himself in position to fight Shadow and that started to get the Hylian worried. Great, his first day alone in work and he was already letting a fight take place the joint's office.
"Go on laughing while you can, you thief." Sonic said.
"Thief? And what did, might I ask, I steal from you? If it was your fans, they certainly were few for I was not able to even notice." Shadow replied. Uuuhhh. Low blow, guy.
"You stole my first sneakers, you hedgehog look-alike!"
"And what would I want with a pair of dirty sneakers? Probably it was you who stole my hover skates."
Just then Link noticed Shadow was using normal shoes, instead of the strange, advanced shoes he wore the entire time. The Hero tried to calm to two rivals down, but none of them were listening to him.
"Ha, like I need a fancy pair of skates. They would probably lag me if I tried to use them." Sonic taunted.
"Care to say that again in my face, you pathetic excuse for a hedgehog?" Shadow talked back.
"Now, stop you two!" Link shouted, finally being able to momentarily take the attention of the two hedgehogs from insulting the guts of each other. "Can't you see that both of you got something stolen and it wasn't either of you?"
Silence hung in the room and Link let out a sigh in relief. He didn't like shouting to people, but that seemed to be the only way to get someone to pay attention to you in that mansion. Organizing his train of thought, Link was about to ask them about the case, when someone else barged into his room. To his bigger surprise it was Ness.
"Link, you have to help me! Someone stole my Yoyo!" the physic boy said in a frantic way.
"Wait a minute." Shadow piped in. "I got here first. You wait in the line, twerp."
"Actually I got here first. Ha, in your face!" Sonic said, pointing at Shadow.
"Point at me like that again and I'm going to break your finger." the black hedgehog threatened.
Predictably, Sonic did it and a new round of insults and taunts started. Link put his shoulders on the table, holding his head with an expression of frustration over his features. This was so not going well.
Ness then jumped several times in the front of the table, calling attention to his presence again and asking if Link was going to help him. The Hylian finally got fed up with all the confusion in his room and shouted again:
"Let's organize this or I'm not going to help anybody!" the room went silent after that, everybody looking at the normally calm, dirty-blond Hero. "Good. Now, Ness, you do know this joint doesn't help people for free, right?"
"Yeah, but I heard it was because Samus was always charging everybody with high prices. Can't you do it for free? C'mon. You were always such a nice guy." Ness said, putting up the classic, puppy look.
"Well, I would like to, but Samus will get mad at me if I had done some job while she's not here and don't show her the color of the money." Link spoke, justifying himself.
"Seems to me she keeps him in a short leash." Shadow commented to Sonic, but loud enough for Link to hear.
The blue hedgehog agreed with his rival for once.
Link decided to ignore that and asked when their things were stolen. They answered they had woken that morning and found their belongings weren't in the place they normally leave them. The swordsman searched below the table for the price board and looked for the entry for that kind of service.
He found an item labeled "Crime Solving" with several sub-items. Finally locating the one that said "Theft", the Hylian said the price aloud:
"$80,00 per hour."
"'PER HOUR'?" Sonic, Shadow and Ness shouted. The PSI fighter protested. "This is crazy! I don't even own that much!"
"Hum… in that case, I think I can charge you this price, regardless of how many hours it takes." Link said to Ness, also an attempt to redeem himself and show he didn't follow Samus' every order.
Ness smiled and was about to thank Link when the door to the office opened again and Lucas came in. The blond ran to Link's table, seeming as frantic as the other protagonist of their game series. He shouted:
"Mr. Link, somebody stole my pet! I need your help!"
What the hell? Is being stolen some kind of contagious disease now? Link thought with an expression of disbelief on his face.
"But, what would somebody want with that snake of yours?" the Hero asked. He didn't understand much about animal traffic, but it seemed pretty pointless for somebody to steal Lucas' snake, which he could guess wasn't worth much.
"I don't know, but I can't find him anywhere…" Lucas was about to say more when somebody else barged into Link's room. This time it was Marth, followed closely by Sheeda. If Ness and Lucas seemed frightened, it was nothing compared to the desperation on the Altean Prince's features.
"This is disastrous! A deed of the purest form of evil… !" he was interrupted by Link, who was starting to get dizzy with so many people in his room at once. The last thing he needed was to have to deal with Marth's noble talk.
"Let me guess: Somebody stole something from you this morning."
"Not just something! They took away Falchion! The blade of my ancestors, which had been in my family for generations! Anri is probably having convulsions inside his grave this very moment." Marth dropped to the couch while Sheeda tried to calm him down, giving taps on his shoulder.
Link could sympathize and feel some of Marth's pain. If someone took the Master Sword from him, he would be as devastated as the blue haired Prince (but would concentrate more in finding the thief so he could inflict the guy with as much pain as possible).
"Can someone explain to me how a dead guy can have convulsions?" Shadow asked in a sarcastic tone, probably in an attempt to lighten the mood, or simply because he liked to piss people off. Whatever was the intention, Marth didn't take it kindly.
"How dare you? I should punish you right now for making fun of the most noble of my ancestors." the blue haired swordsman said, standing up.
"With what? Those girly muscles of yours?" Shadow taunted, snickering to the fact Marth was weaponless.
Faster than anyone could see (even for Sonic), Sheeda grabbed Shadow by his neck and slammed him against the wall, pulling out a lance and pointing it to the neck of the dark hedgehog, who looked very surprised to say the least.
"Say that to my Marth again and I'll shove this lance up a place you didn't even knew you had." Sheeda said in a very threatening, cold tone with a look of cold anger to match.
"Wow! Some girlfriend you got there, heh Marth?" Sonic said with a grin, nudging the Altean Prince, who was scratching the back of his head at another demonstration of how protective Sheeda was towards him.
"Ok… uhh… can you all just… I don't know. Avoid murdering people inside my room?" Link asked almost in a pleading tone.
Sheeda casted a quick glance at him before dropping Shadow unceremoniously to the ground, mumbling something like "catch you outside". Link sighed in relief.
At least, it can't get worse than it already is…
- / - / - / -
"Me and my big mouth…" Link muttered.
In the mere space of one hour, more people came requesting Steel 'n' Blade's crime solving service. It was practically half of the mansion, together with some Assist Trophies. From what Link could get, everybody lost one belonging that morning. Now they were all in the dining hall of the mansion, trying to come up with a solution amidst the noise that was there.
Marth, Sheeda and Sonic volunteered to help the Hylian, since it seemed this job was giant and the more help he had, the faster he could recover their respective stolen items. The four were sitting at a table, taking the job requests while Steel `n` Blade`s clients were all gathered in the middle of the dining hall in a great, open space they had organized.
"Ok. From what we've got until now; Fox and Falco had their pistols stolen. Zelda, her crown. Ike, his favorite scarf. Mario, his hat. Lyn, her sword. Barbara, her guitar. And so on." Sonic resumed.
"Could it have been someone from inside?" Link wondered aloud.
However, the green clad swordsman soon regretted saying that, because, when Zelda heard it, she stomped over to Ganondorf and demanded loud enough for half of the hall to hear:
"Give me back my crown, you perverse demon-thief!"
"And what makes you think I stole your crown when someone stole my favorite jewels?" the Dark Lord asked, though he didn't make any attempt for his tone to sound less threatening and intimidating then it normally was.
"Ha! And I bet they were stolen. Now don't change the subject." Zelda commented, soon reverting back to her angry tone and trying to stand as tall as Ganondorf was, giving him a nasty look all the while.
"Get off, before I crush that pretty, little face of yours, Princess." Ganondorf said, cracking his knuckles with a sadistic smile on his face at the possibility of getting rid of one of his most hated enemies.
"Hey! Don't you dare to talk to her like that!" Ike said, coming in Zelda's defense, seeming as angry as the Hylian Princess.
"Oh, what is that? Got yourself a new knight, Princess? You know, I heard that, for the right price, he can do anything for anyone. I would open my eyes if I were you when around this sell sword." Ganondorf said in a malicious way and sporting an evil smile.
"You… ! You're DEAD!" Ike shouted, drawing Ragnell and charging to Ganondorf, with Zelda for support.
That was all it took to hell broke loose. Soon, people were shouting and fighting against their enemies, those they didn't like, or who they simply suspected could be the thief. Link, Sheeda, Marth and Sonic just stood looking at the big, fighting arena the dining hall had turned into. They certainly couldn't stop something this big without Master Hand.
"I say we quietly leave and go to their rooms look for clues." Sheeda suggested. The other three males nodded and they all scurried away of the hall.
After leave the chaos, Sonic closed the doors to the dining hall and barricaded them. Link called the hedgehog, asking what he was doing. Sonic just turned to him with his usual carefree grin and spoke:
"This way they won't cause more damage to the mansion and we'll have everybody in the same place for when we find out who the thief is."
"That's a good plan." Marth said impressed how the hedgehog had thought things through.
"Anyway, let's just go to their rooms and search for clues." Link said.
Taking different directions, the four started to search the rooms of the Smashers in the places they said they guarded their stolen belongings. Link was analyzing Ike's drawer, but couldn't find out of normal (except several photos of females with varied hair colors. But, he was in Ike's room, so…). He decided to try and move the furniture to search for clues underneath it. However, all that Link found was a discarded chocolate packaging. The Hylian took it and looked at it attentively, he didn't remember Ike saying anything about liking chocolate.
After more unsuccessful search in the room of the Crimean mercenary, the dirty-blond swordsman tried to go to the other rooms, but all he found that could slightly be classified as out of place was more discarded chocolate packaging. Sighing in defeat, Link returned to the door that gave entry to the dinning hall. As he predicted, Sonic was already there, having investigated all rooms of the Assist Trophies quarters. Marth and Sheeda arrived shortly after. When Link asked his friends if they had found anything, the three shook their heads in disappointment.
"All I found of uncommon in Zelda's room was a discarded chocolate packaging." Marth said.
"And you would think being a Princess she would keep her room impeccable." Sheeda commented. "I found chocolate in the other rooms I investigated too."
"Same here." Sonic spoke, showing them a pile of chocolate packaging he collected in the Assist Trophies' rooms. "Has eating chocolate become a fashion around here and nobody told me?" the blue hedgehog asked.
"No." Link said, pondering about what they just said. Unless Lucario was the thief, those chocolate bars didn't mean much.
It was then the group heard the sound of something heavy beating against the barricaded door. The four looked to each other and nodded, removing the blockage Sonic put on the door and opened.
The view wasn't pretty in the least. The dining hall had been completely destroyed by the giant brawl and Link saw parts of the decoration of the hall scattered everywhere and what had beaten against the door was a Sandbag. How the hell did a Sandbag get in the middle of that fight? They entered and tried to calm down people, but nobody listened to them. It would be as useful as you say for Ganondorf not to kill somebody that pissed him off.
"This isn't good…" Link mumbled. He ducked when the head of a R.O.B. 64 passed flying over him and saw Falco being thrown against the ground just to get up and go back to the fight.
The Hero knew the only way to calm down those people would be saying he had found the thief, but he didn't have enough time for that and he couldn't think clearly about the case with his clients trying to rip each other's head off.
"Considering most of the situations here either end up in a beating or in confusion, I wouldn't be so surprised." Marth commented when the four reunited again.
It was then Link heard a "What the hell is happening here?" coming from the door. He looked and, to his relief, saw it was Samus, who had came back from her match. Captain Falcon and Mr. Game and Watch were with her, the first saying:
"Hey, they're having a food fight! Cool!" the head of a R.O.B. passed flying over his head.
"More like a robot fight." Samus commented. A beep came from Game and Watch, who was agreeing with her or… well, probably agreeing with her. I don't know. Who understands what that 2D guy talks?
"Awesome! Hey people, let me in!" Falcon said, running to join the fray.
Samus sighed, shaking her head. She heard someone calling her name in a tone of pure relief and before she could to turn, Link threw his arms around her and hugged the bounty huntress for his dear life.
"Thank goodness you're here!" he said in a quick tone. "I tried. I really tried! But this job is just too big to me and I can't think straight while trying to calm this mob down." Link said in a rather pathetic tone while he was still hugging Samus, who was a little shocked, both by the Hero hugging her like that to start with, while she's on her Zero Suit notwithstanding, and by what he said. "Please, help me! I'll do anything later, but help me!" Link's tone was almost begging.
Mr. Game and Watch "beeped" something, but Samus said for him to shut up, casting a quick, cold glance to the 2D character. Did she really understand what he just said, or was she just guessing? Anyway, Marth, Sheeda and Sonic approached the two workmates. Samus looked at the crowd from which she could hear some painful cries as shouts of "Falcon PAWNCH!" echoed, and back to Link. To everybody's surprise, what she said wasn't a taunt or something about she knowing he couldn't handle himself without her:
"You a got a job from all these people while I was away? Wow, that's what I call a good deal, Link. I'm proud of you." she said, trying to smile to reassure her friend, but he was still with that desperate expression when he looked to her.
"Yeah, but I can't get them to stop from killing each other. You have to help me!" he pressed his head against her chest (not in a perverted manner, you sick people. The guy is desperate, remember?).
Samus tried to contort him by tapping his head, but the situation felt a little awkward for her. I mean, who ever would go to her for contort? When the bounty huntress looked at the other three Smashers in her front of her, she saw they seemed to be snickering at the scene. Casting (ineffective) death glances to the three, the bounty huntress concentrated on taking control of the situation and asked what exactly was that giant, multi-job about.
Link seemed to recover and let go of his female friend, explaining the thefts around the mansion and how they tried to find clues about the thieves in the crime scenes, but all they encountered was just some chocolate packaging.
"Chocolate you said?" Samus mused.
"You don't think it was Lucario, do you?" Link asked the galactic warrior in a whisper.
"No, but there is a person that I know to who we gave loads and loads of chocolate and could 'steal' a great amount of objects without any problem. We now just need to get the attention of those people before they kill each other and we lose money." she said, pointing to the Smashers in the middle of the brawl in the dining hall, though her tone was one of indifference.
Like always, she doesn't care if a bunch of strange beings murder each other, but losing money is unacceptable. I think it comes with killing things for a living.
"But how are we going to do it? I don't think simply screaming will get their attention." Link pointed out.
"We certainly would need something to attract their attention." Marth said.
It was then Samus got an idea. She asked Link to come with her. The green clad swordsman didn't understand, but followed Samus notwithstanding. She instructed him to get up on a table, together with her.
Marth, Sheeda and Sonic just looked to the two, wondering what was the plan of the bounty huntress to stop the all-out brawl in the dining hall. Samus then shouted for everybody to hear:
"Hey, people! Check this out!" some actually stopped and they soon where rewarded with a scene they never thought to witness.
Before Link could even think of what Samus was planning, she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him in the lips, with a certain enthusiasm, might I add. Two minutes later, all Smashers and Assist Trophies had stopped, some with their jaws open, others just seeming dumbfounded of what they were seeing.
Link went on autopilot as he kissed back, but no other part of his body responded.
When Samus finally let go of the Hero, Link was frozen on his place, eyes still wide open and his mouth was slightly open.
"Good. Now that I have your attention…" Samus spoke to the crowd at her front, but was interrupted by the sound of something falling with a heavy thud on the floor. She looked to the side and realized it was Link. He was still with that same shocked expression on his face and his body was as stiff as a stone.
Sonic went to check on his friend, Marth and Sheeda right behind. From the crowd, came Fox's voice, asking if he was alright. Sonic answered:
"He's fine. Just… fainted."
The anime fighters had big drops running behind their heads, as the more realistic Smashers either facepalmed or sighed. Samus decided to let it drop and concentrated on another matter.
"Ok then. As I was saying; I think I solved the mystery of the theft of your things. They weren't really stolen." many people raised their eyebrows at hearing that while others just looked confused. "Now, can someone bring Kirby and Yoshi here?"
- / - / - / -
"Alright Kirby, it's thin and made of metal." Samus said to the pink puffball. Kirby closed his mouth and seemed to be passing his tongue around it to find the corresponding item. He soon did and spat it out.
"Finally, my pistol! Thanks a bunch, Samus! Here's the money." Fox said, handing the bounty huntress $80,00.
After having called Kirby and brought some eggs of suspicious sizes from Yoshi's room, the Smashers observed as Samus instructed Kirby to spit back all objects he had inhaled.
Turned out, before everybody went to sleep and as they confirmed, Kirby and Yoshi visited the Smashers and Assist Trophies who had something stolen from their rooms and, while talking or even looking around their room for something to eat, the two gluttons had some chocolate with them and when they were going to eat it, they inhaled/used long, sticky tongue to do so and accidentally swallowed nearby objects.
Most decided to forgive Kirby and Yoshi. After all, it wasn't really their intention to steal their things. Few were in favor of roasting/stomping/struggling the two (namely: Dedede, Ganondorf and Wolf), but nobody paid attention to them.
Samus also decided that, since there were so many clients and Link was still unconscious, she would charge them just the price of one hour of detective work. So, people formed a line in front of a table where Kirby was standing with a pile of eggs behind him and paid Samus right after getting their belongings back.
"Thanks a lot Samus. You solved some really, big trouble here." Sonic said, with his first pair of sneakers between his arms.
"Indeed. Thanks to you and Link, my ancestors can rest in peace once more." Marth said, hugging Falchion (with its sheath) like it was a small child.
"It was nothing." the galactic warrior said. "Now, you should go back to your rooms and get some rest, cause I'm sure we're going to hear one big lecture tomorrow morning when Master Hand comes and discovers what happened to the dining hall." Marth and Sonic agreed with her and left the hall, Sheeda in arms with her fiancé.
One hour later, the last Smasher got his item from one of Yoshi's eggs (remember: he sometimes puts out eggs after eating something). Samus counted the profit of the day with a smile on her face. However, she started to feel like she had forgotten something. It was then the futuristic woman heard a groan from near the table she was sat in and saw Link had woken.
"What happened?" the Hero groggily asked.
"Already woke sleeping beauty?" Samus asked with a snicker on her face. She would never tell him, but she enjoyed the kiss. A lot. "You fainted."
"Really? I can't remember anything." Link said, massaging his hurt head since he had hit it when he fell.
It seems the shock erased his memory. Oh, well… Samus thought now with a playful smile on her face. I think I'll just toy with him a little more.
"Someone hit you in the head with a R.O.B.'s head, but I managed to get everybody to stop fighting." Samus said.
"Really? How?" Link asked.
"Nothing of too much; just shot someone with my Zero Beam." the bounty huntress lied, faking a bothered expression. "But forget about it. Look how much money we earned today." she said, showing the notes to the Hero.
Link whistled at seeing so much money on his friend's hand. While he did so, Samus was pondering what to do next, because she definitely was looking forward to steal another kiss from Link…
