Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters… I just get to play with them =]
Chapter 6: Teenagers
Because the drugs never work
They're gonna give you a smirk
'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean
Sirius' POV
Oh. Good. Lord.
What is WRONG with me?
Well, in my own defense, it was cloudy when we went in and because I couldn't see the moon… and I forgot…
Ugh, this is what I hate about myself. I am always forgetting important things, and I never think before I act!
I should probably go talk to her. But I can't tell her about Remus! But I don't want her to think I'm lying to her. Ok, you know what, I'll talk to Remus about it…tomorrow. Maybe if I'm lucky he'll let me tell her…
…yeah right.
Ava's POV
Well this is awkward.
Let me explain: I didn't sleep at all last night. I fell asleep finally at 4:30. AM. IN THE MORNING. And when I finally got to sleep, I had a nightmare! I dreamed that I was in the Shrieking Shack and I was all confused because of all the blood on the wall. Then I started freaking out and I called out Sirius a ton (and I think I did that in real life as well, not just in my dream) and then he was behind me and then he morphed into the Swamp Thing and then I must've freaked out so much I rolled right out of bed. Only I would do that. Well, maybe James.
So then I was awake for good, and I look up and Lily Evans looking right at me with a look that sort of said 'What on EARTH is wrong with you?' which is where we come back to the present.
"Hi, Lily…" I say awkwardly.
"Hi," she replies, still scrutinizing me.
It's quiet for while I play with the drawstring on my pajamas before Lily speaks up.
"You know, you're still on the floor."
I look around and notice that I am still on the floor. "Oh. I am, aren't I?"
"Yeah…" And it's still wicked awkward. I get up, and start putting on a sweatshirt over my pajamas, before heading out the door for James' room.
"Wait, where are you going?" Lily asks.
"I was gonna go see James… Why? Do you want to come along?" I ask, confused.
"Oh, uh, no, it's just that its only 7:30, I doubt someone like Potter is an early riser," she says disdainfully. Oh my god, she's acting as if she knows him. She's making judgments based on how he acts to the entire school. How rude.
"Actually, he is," I say, trying to convey how completely impolite she's being right now about my best friend in the whole wide world right to my face by tone. "He likes to get the most out of his day. He usually wakes up in a half hour or so, so I might just go back to bed." I'm about to walk out the door before she calls me back in again.
"Yes?" I ask, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice.
"Well, it's just that your bed is in here…" she says, pointing to my bed.
"I know that. I'm gonna go sleep in his bed."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Bye."
I slowly open the door, hoping to be silent, which I fail at. But luckily everyone is still asleep… from what I can tell. All the curtains are closed anyway. I go to James' bed, which is surprisingly empty. Perchance he's in the bathroom. There's a silencing charm on it anyways, so that the shower doesn't wake anybody up. So I climb into it anyways, and wait for him to come back. I guess while I wait, I can go to sleep. It is 7:30 in the morning, and I was up pretty late last night… (grumble) 4:30 in the morning (grumble). I lay my head down on the pillow, and realize that that is not James' smell… but it is familiar. I can't place it, but before I can even begin to contemplate whose it might be, I'm asleep…
Sirius' POV
Ah, nothing clears my mind like a nice hot shower… NOT! Even washing my hair made me think of what happened yesterday! Honestly, I need to talk to Remus. I guess that's why I'm up so early. I want to get down to the Hospital Wing so I can talk to Remus about Ava. He's probably the best to talk to about Ava considering they're good friends but they don't have the same emotional attachment James and Ava do. I doubt though that he'll let me tell her about his lycanthropy. He didn't even tell us until we accused him of it. His parents have drilled into his head that his secret is his most precious possession, and that if anyone finds out he might not be able to keep learning at Hogwarts. I guess that's true, but I don't think Ava would be the one to discriminate when she herself is subjected to the same torture because of her muggle heritage.
I walk out of the bathroom with a towel around my waste to hide Little Sirius, when I notice that my curtains aren't shut all the way like I left them. I pull them open a bit and there's Ava. On my bed. Snuggled up to my pillow. Smiling. Why? I don't know. I'm tempted to wake her up, but she looks so… peaceful, I decide to leave her. Instead I leave her a note, which says:
Hey Sleeping Beauty!
Ava, I think you got in the wrong bed this morning. James' is the
one to the left of mine. That means when you face my bed,
make the 'L's with your hands and it's the bed that corresponds
with the hand that makes a proper 'L.' I know you have trouble
with your lefts and rights. I had fun yesterday.
Granted the end was a bit of a downer,
but you handled everything pretty well. You're a great girl friend.
Siriusly,
Sirius Black
After leaving the note on my bedside table, I get changed, and head down to the Hospital Wing.
I hope Remus is up. I always have to be careful the morning after. Sometimes he's really distant, because he thinks it would remind us that he's a 'frightening monster' or some shit. Other times he's really glad to see us, and begs us for chocolate. I'm really hoping that today will be the latter.
My thoughts are occupied with Ava and the indescribable warmth I felt when I held her hand. That's the sort of stuff you read about in poems, and romance novels, not in real life. I want to say it was body warmth, but I'm sure if I held hands with Lily Evans it wouldn't be the same. It was a… comfortable sort of warmth. With anyone else it would have been incomparably awkward.
And I hate lying to her. I never have a problem lying to anyone. I'm an amazing actor. I have gotten out of more detentions than I can count on my two hands because of my acting skills. But I look at Ava and I can't keep my cool when she asks me a question. I suppose that's another reason why I didn't wake her up when I found her in my bed. I wanted to avoid the confrontation. And when we do talk about the Shrieking Shack, I don't want James and Peter in the room as well.
I'm so caught up in my thoughts, I get caught in the trick stair. Damn that thing, and whichever founder decided to put it here. When I finally extract myself from it, it's almost eight. Remus should be up by now. Madame Pomfrey has to give him a potion at 7:30 after every full moon, and it takes him ages to get back to sleep after it.
"Hey, Remus," I say when I get to his bed, surrounded by curtains.
"Hey, Sirius. What are you doing here so early?" he asks weakly.
I check up on his injuries, and how the night before was. Then I'm quiet for a bit, so I can work out my wording. "I need to talk to you about something important."
"Did you bring me any chocolate?" he asks jokingly.
"But of course!" I pull a chocolate bar out of my pocket and throw it to him. When he starts eating it, I ask my question. "Do plan on telling Ava about your furry little problem?"
"…No, why?"
"It's just, well, I wasn't thinking yesterday… and I may or may not have shown her the inside of the Shrieking Shack." Remus gave an exasperated sigh and said my name at the same time. "She doesn't know what's going on, but she knows something is. She's a smart girl, Remus! If she's gonna hang out with us, we can't keep her in the dark! She's gonna figure it out at some point! It's not fair to her! She's James' best friend, practically his sister, and we all get along great. I think she's gonna be around for a while, and imagine how betrayed she'll feel when she finds out that you didn't trust her enough to tell her!"
"I know that, Sirius! You think I don't know that? I want to tell her, I really do! But I don't know how she'll react. She might shun me forever, she might shun James or you or Peter forever because of me and my condition! I hate lying to her Sirius, but right now, that's all I can do."
"Do you seriously think she'll judge you?" I ask. "Remus, she's in the same position as you! Voldemort attacked her personally because she's a muggleborn! She's dealt with either being a weirdo to her muggle friends for being a witch or for being a 'mudblood' to her old classmates and some of her new ones for her muggle heritage! She's in no position to judge you!"
"I know that's true, but sometimes people are hypocrites without even realizing it, and there's nothing they can do about it. I'm resolute in my decision Sirius. I'm not telling her I'm a werewolf. Not today."
"Will you tell her someday?" I ask.
"I… I… yeah, I will. I promise."
I breathe a huge sigh of relief. "Good. That's a huge load off my chest."
"So how was your date yesterday?" Remus asks me with a sly smile.
"It wasn't a date, ok! It was a faux-date. It was supposed to get girls to finally understand that I'm not interested, but I don't think they understood."
"Of course it wouldn't. The only girls smart enough to understand that are Ava and Lily, and neither of them are interested anyway. You have to communicate that to them in terms that they would understand. I think by shoving your not-relationship with Ava in their faces just makes them want to try harder."
"I guess you have a point. But what do I do now?"
"I'd just go back to ignoring them. Or you could just be really blunt and be rude right to their faces."
"Hah! Imagine the looks they'd make!"
"They'd probably look like a fish of some sort. Just opening and closing their mouths." Remus' demonstration almost makes me fall out of my chair, I'm laughing so hard. "Or maybe they'd try to molest you! They might believe the sparks bullshit printed in their romance novels, and hope you feel them, and fall happily in love!"
"Yeah, well, they won't be feeling any sparks, I can assure you. I think I'd throw up if one of those hopeless girls kissed me."
"Yeah, imagine how the girl would feel if you just push her off and vomit all over the floor!"
"I don't think I'd be able to hold out that long. I'd just throw up right in her mou-"
"Mr. Black, stop exciting Mr. Lupin so much! He's had a very rough night!" Madame Pomfrey's voice cuts through our brainstorming session.
"Sorry, Poppy!" I yell. "Hey, do you mind if I go get some breakfast? I'm starved."
"Oh, yeah, go ahead! I have homework to do anyways." Remus waves me off, and I head downstairs.
I arrive at the Great Hall, and find James, Peter, and Ava sitting down. They seem to more focused on their food than actual conversation.
"Hey guys!" I say as I sit down. I look specifically at Ava to gauge her reaction. It's the first time she's seen me since last night. She gives me a small smile, one that says I read your note? What the hell? I guess I understand where she's coming from. It was kind of random. I feel my face go warm, and wonder if I'm blushing, which I generally don't…
"Hey, Sirius," James says through a mouthful of bacon and sausage. Some falls out onto his plate.
"Ew, James, that is disgusting," Ava says. He just smiles a great big smile at her to annoy her more. I can see the bits of his food sticking out.
"Really, James, shut your mouth. No one should have to see that this early in the morning," I say. "Honestly, didn't your mother teach you any manners?"
Ava's POV
"Honestly, didn't your mother teach you any manners?"
How similar we are. Both using the same insults on people that generally annoy us. Those words remind me of yesterday so much, it's painful. Not like, heartaches or anything, but—what am I saying, it wasn't painful! It's just… painful to think about. It's one of those things where you just want to stop thinking about it because it's so embarrassing to relive in your head. It happens to me a lot. Like now.
"Ava? Hello? Avaaa? Ave, you in there?" I'm jolted back to reality by the use of that terrible nickname.
"Hm? Yeah, Sirius? What's up?"
"Well, it's just… Breakfast is over…"
I look around. Breakfast isn't just over, it's over. The only people still here are me, Sirius, and Dumbledore, who is very obviously watching us. Should I wave, or would he see that as obnoxious? You know what, I'll wave, because I am an obnoxious person.
"Who are you waving to?" Sirius asks.
"Dumbledore," I reply.
"Uhm, may I ask why?"
"'Cause he's kinda staring at us… kinda creeping me out. I was hoping that the wave would make him stop… but I guess not." Sirius keeps giving me this weird look, so I decide to change the subject. "So where are Tweedledee and Tweedleidiot?"
"Peter and James?" he confirms as we walk out of the hall.
"Respectively, of course." He laughs, and it echoes around the entrance hall. His laugh is contagions, really, and I start to laugh a little as well.
"They're in the hospital wing," he says. "Visiting Remus," he continues, after he sees the look of concern on my face.
"What's wrong with Remus?"
"He…uh… he has the flu and Pomfrey's only letting in people that have already had it this season… I haven't either, so we should probably just head back to the Common Room." I nod, and we head up seven flights of stairs.
"I hate this stupid school and all of its fucking stairs," I manage to choke out somewhere between the fifth and sixth floor. I flop down on the stairs and just lie there for a minute.
"Oh c'mon, Ave, we're almost there! Just two more flights, I promise!" He holds his hand out for me to take, which I hit away and dramatically fall down on the stairs again.
"Go on without me, Sirius. Save yourself!"
"Cut the shit, Motta. I'm not leaving you here, or James will have my head on a silver platter and mount it in my house next to all our old house elves' heads. Get up. C'mon, I know a shortcut."
This time I take his hand, but only because his most recent statement kind of confused me. "House elves? And their heads mounted where? And a shortcut? Why didn't you tell me?"
And thus begins the immensely long conversation about Sirius Black's absolutely dreadful life. And I thought I had it bad.
"So your crazy aunt started the tradition of beheading your family's house elves and mounting their heads on a piece of wood and plastering that to the walls in your house? Good Lord, I'd get nightmares. Is all your family like that?"
"Ninety percent of it is. The only ones that have any sort of morals or sanity are me, my Uncle Alphard, my cousin Andromeda, and a few other random people that are all dead by now. The rest have all been in Slytherin. Alphard and Andromeda were in Ravenclaw, and I am the first member of my family to be in Gryffindor."
"Ouch, I bet that didn't go over too well."
"No, it did not." And that's all he said on the matter. I suppose he doesn't want to talk about it. "So, besides being on Voldemort's hit-list, what sucks about your life?"
"Well…" Should I tell him? I really want to, but some of what I want to say I've never even told James, and he's my brother… it would be like betraying him… I know I can trust Sirius, but my loyalty lies with James. So I'll lie. "Well, to be honest, my life's never been better… and it's all because of Voldemort. I should send him a thank you card."
"You should. I mean, it's only polite, right?"
Sirius' POV
"You should. I mean, it's only polite, right?"
Déjà vu, anybody? Christ, Ava said almost that exact same thing to me yesterday. Is weird how alike we are? You would think we grew up together or something.
"Whoa, déjà vu!" Ava exclaims. What the hell? I just thought that!
"You literally took the words right out of my brain, Ave."
"Great minds think alike, no?"
"Hear, hear!" I shout, and raise an imaginary glass. I look over at Ava smiling, and want to make a fool of myself a little bit more, just because I know it'll make her laugh like she is now.
Wait, what?
"Hey guys!" James yells, coming up behind us.
"Hey, Jamie, what's up?" Ava asks.
"Oh, same ol' same ol'. Just visiting Remus in the hospital. That is one nasty flu."
"I should make him a card! I can make it after I make my thank you note for Voldemort!" I laugh, but James just sends us this weird look.
Later that day I explained my views about Ava not knowing about Remus' lycanthropy, and he agreed that we should tell her soon. The only thing standing in our way was Remus' trust issues, but that will work out in time. He promised.
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And so life goes on. Things become relatively normal…well, as normal as they get at Hogwarts…being a Marauder.
Things continued like that, until Professor Comi teaches us the about the one dark creature we had all been fearing: the werewolf. And guess what! The full moon was yesterday! If Ava doesn't figure it out Remus' secret now, she never will.
"Well, class, can anyone tell me why werewolves are such a danger to society, and should be locked away for good?" she asks, while looking right at Remus, the bitch. A few different people yell out the usual things ("They're scary!" "They're dangerous!" "They're monsters!"), but only two people actually raised their hands: Snape and Ava. Oh no.
"Miss Motta, care to explain?"
"Gladly, Professor," she says in an insincere tone, which confuses me. Ava is always polite when it comes to dealing with authoritative figures. I look around, hoping someone can give me a little insight, but James is just grinning his arse off, Remus is face down on the test, and Peter is off in his own little world. Ave won't even look at me, she just stares down Comi.
"Well, the moment the full moon rises, once a lunar cycle, the werewolf comes to life. The host body stands there while bones are grown, shortened, disappear, and appear, while fur grows all over its body, and the body structure changes from that of a human to a more canine form. The human cedes control over his or her body – actions, thoughts, everything – and the wolf reeks havoc upon the innocent civilians unfortunate to get in its way." Remus looks even paler. There's no way that Remus will ever tell her now.
"Very good, Miss Motta, ten points to Gryffindor. Now, knowing this, how many of you still do not understand the danger of werewolves?" Nobody raises their hands. Except Ava.
"Well, professor, I have a question. I don't understand how people can be so prejudiced towards werewolves. I mean, in retrospect, they're just people with really rotten luck." Ohmygod. Ava is in for it. Comi's gonna tear her apart. Now I know why James was grinning. I start to smile a bit myself.
"Well, that statement is wrong, Motta. They are not people, they are half-breeds."
"I'm sorry, but I don't agree with that. If someone is born a human, then they remain a human after the bite. Being bitten does not change what you are. Half-breeds are giants, and house elves, and centaurs. Lycanthropy does not make you a half-breed, because it is a disease! I- Ok, suppose I was your best friend or something. You had known me your entire life, we told each other all of our secrets, et cetera et cetera, and one day, I'm bitten. I'm a werewolf for the rest of my life now. What do you do? Do you take me in when the rest of society rejects me? Or do you join those bigoted assholes because now I'm a 'scary monster?'"
The entire room is silent. Everyone is staring at Ava, and it is dead silent. And—This is the best part I promise—Ava is just sitting there looking at Comi with this 'I win' look on her face. But then, she turns around and looks Remus right in the eye. OHMYGOD SHE TOTALLY KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comi finally opens her mouth to say something. Everyone is waiting on the edge of her seat to see what she says.
"I should have expected an insolent little mud-gleborn like you wouldn't understand the true dangers of werewolves. Perhaps a week of detentions in my office will help you understand. Be there tonight at seven."
Ava's POV
Wait, what?
Oh, I totally thought I won that one… goddammit.
At least I made Remus shit his pants… that's good, right?
Oh, I totally know that he's a werewolf. I'm kinda pissed that he won't tell me. I mean, I've dropped more hints than I can count on my hands and feet. I think I really realized it when his third grandmother died.
So I don't really pay attention for the rest of class. I just plan out how I'm going to confront Remus after class. When the bell rings, I'm over at his desk in a heartbeat, but he's already gone… HOW DOES HE DO THAT????
"Have you guys seen Remus?" I ask James and Sirius.
"Nope, he's already gone," answers James. Figures. Why would anything go right for Ava?
"Do you know where he went?" I ask again.
They look at each other for a moment and exchange a glance before saying at the exact same time "Not a clue." Oh, god, these boys think that I know nothing. Well, I'll show them.
"Right, well, I'll see you guys later, then," I snap, and I storm out. I have every intention of skipping potions, and finding Remus. It's about time to sort this out.
The first thing I do is check the potions room, which surprise, surprise, he isn't in. On my way out of the room I see James and Sirius and completely ignore them when they ask me where I'm going. It's fun to be a bitch. Next I go to the dorms; he isn't here. Then I to to the astronomy tower, and check out the grounds. Looking, looking, look-AH THERE HE IS I SEE HIM!
I legitimately sprint all the way down to grounds and get him right as he's getting up.
"NO! Sit down right now! We are talking this out, I'm so tired of tip toeing around the subject!"
"What subject?" he asks, playing dumb.
"The fact that you're a—" His eyes widened, and I realized that I was shouting. "The fact that you're a werewolf!" I whispered.
"Wha-I'm-no-"
"Oh, come on, Remus, I'm not stupid. Nobody's grandmother dies twice."
"How do you know that it wasn't one on each side of my family?"
"Because you already told me that your muggle grandmother died in a car accident four years ago! THERE! You've clearly been lying to me since I met you, and even now, when I've just shown how I don't discriminate against werewolves? What could possibly be wrong with you just saying it to me?"
"I'm not—"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Remus, stop denying it! I know you're a werewolf!"
"So? What are you going to do? Accept me? 'Understand my problems?'" Suddenly the Remus I knew was gone and replaced with the typical apathetic werewolf you would find on the streets.
"Wha—no, Remus, shut up. Stop being such a self-loathing asshole who does nothing but wallow in self-pity. I'm here to-to-to listen, to—to just be here. That's what friends are for. That's what James, and Sirius and Peter are for. That's what we're all for. And I can understand why you wouldn't tell me originally. I've only been here for a few months, but I've figured it out, I've confessed my opinions, I've done everything there is to do! So why can't you just accept it?"
It's quiet for a moment, and the only thing I can hear is the giant squid screwing around in the lake next to us.
"Ever since the…bite… all my dad had ever told me was that I would never be accepted by society, and that no one could ever find out my secret, otherwise I would be sent to Azkaban. Ever since I was a child it's been ingrained in my head that I could never be normal. It just seems so surreal that you don't even care that if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, you could…"
"Remus. You're a wizard. You are NEVER going to be normal. Nobody's normal. So don't even worry about that. And screw your dad! Your dad doesn't even know shit! Dads suck! I can only think of one decent dad, and that's James'. Sirius' dad hates him, Peter's dad is an alcoholic, my dad—shit, Remus, my dad left my family because of me! He's too religious to even bare to live in the same house as a witch! Everyone's dad sucks. They're all assholes. So forget about him, and focus on the people that are here for you."
Remus smiles at me. I think I've finally gotten through to him. I look at him as if asking whether or not things are fine. I can't seem to get the words out of my throat for once.
"I need to start keeping track of my excuses."
And I'm BACK BITCHES!!! Ok I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long, but I was this close || to getting this chapter out before Christmas… and then my hard drive like, died, so I didn't have it over Christmas break, and then a week after because the tech office at my school sucks. But I'm back! And I think we're gonna start getting into the part of the story that I already have written out in my head, so the chapters might come a little faster… if you REVIEW! Ok, so the song at the beginning is 'Teenagers' by My Chemical Romance. It really only goes along with the DADA part of the chapter, but I think that's the most important part.
Next time on The Story:
-Train ride home
-Summer!
-ahhh drama!!
-Friar
