Happy Days - Chapter 7
Malcolm wakes before Colin, having slept roughly; he'd been too preoccupied with the promise of their talk later to drift off properly. He still feels just as drained as he did when he went to bed; it's just later in the day. After a further few minutes of tossing and turning nervously, Malcolm makes his way downstairs, heavy with the knowledge that by this evening they will have undoubtedly talked through this - whatever this is.
He goes into the kitchen to get some food; he doesn't know how long Colin will be asleep for, but he's starving and figures that if he makes something now, Colin can eat whenever he's ready. He finds the process of cooking relaxing, taking the edge off his jagged nerves.
Although he's actually resolved to tell Colin how he feels, he has no idea how to go about it. He'd been trying to think of ways earlier, but sleep had claimed him before he'd been inspired. Malcolm contemplates doing something special, like trying to make a nice meal and setting the table with candles, but he wonders if that might be coming on too strong: he doesn't even know if Colin feels the same way yet, and he doesn't want to scare his friend off without explaining first.
For now Malcolm simply preoccupies himself with getting the food ready, and hopes that when the time comes, he'll be able to recognise the opportunity and seize it.
Colin wakes up slowly, his eyes becoming accustomed to the light in the room; he checks the time and it's already after 6pm. He takes a moment to savour the feeling of being in Malcolm's house: there had been many moments over the last day when he thought he might never come back here. Now though, he has another challenge to face; he has to put himself on the line again, this time emotionally.
Although he's understandably nervous, Colin is also determined to tell Malcolm the truth, as he doesn't want to waste another moment. It sounds cliché even in his head, but the fact remains that he nearly died today, and that fear has made him brave. Nobody knows how long they've got to live their life, and Colin wants to spend at least a bit of his in a relationship with Malcolm if at all possible. Nobody knows whether a relationship will last either, but Colin figures that any time spent together with Malcolm will be worth it.
Slowly he becomes aware of the sound of Malcolm pottering about in the kitchen, and Colin's stomach rumbles suddenly. He laughs in surprise and decides to head downstairs to eat first and talk later. Rooting in the wardrobe, he digs out some worn jeans and a t-shirt; more casual than he normally wears in front of Malcolm, but comfort is forefront in his mind, rather than looking presentable. What he doesn't know is that Malcolm is wearing similar clothing, and that it will actually prove to be quite distracting, having never seen each other in them before.
Colin makes his way downstairs and stands in the doorway to the kitchen; Malcolm has his back turned and obviously hasn't heard Colin come in. Colin takes the opportunity to enjoy the sight of Malcolm in jeans: an item of clothing he never thought Malcolm would deign to wear as he seems a suits sort-of-man no matter what the occasion.
He decides to make his presence known however, clearing his throat quietly. "Smells good, what are we having?" As predicted, Malcolm jumps slightly, having been unaware that Colin was awake and downstairs.
Malcolm turns and can't help the rush of breath that leaves him when he takes in the sight of Colin standing in the doorway. He still looks tired, but he seems more relaxed; the few hours of sleep have done him good. The thing that makes Malcolm's heart rate speed up, however, is seeing Colin in casual clothes; the only time he's ever seen his friend in anything other than work clothes is when Malcolm stumbled upon him in his pyjamas. He can't help but give Colin an appraising once over, before quickly checking himself and raising his eyes to Colin's.
"You scared me a bit," Malcolm admits, giving Colin a reassuring smile. "I didn't hear you come down, did you sleep alright?"
"Not too bad, thank you," Colin says. "I'm a bit more rested than I was at any rate. More hungry than anything now."
Malcolm then realises that he hadn't answered Colin's earlier question and says, "I thought I'd just do pork chops, we had them in and I was too hungry to do anything too complicated."
Colin smiles. "Sounds great, thank you. Need me to give you a hand with anything?"
Malcolm can't help but blush slightly at Colin's choice of words but doesn't say anything about it, even teasingly. He's too tense to joke right now, the situation is too important. Instead he simply says, "No don't worry, it's all under control. Just sit down and take it easy."
Colin nods gratefully, and moves into the kitchen to take a seat at the table. Malcolm puts the radio on low while he finishes preparing the meal, and Colin enjoys just watching him. He could get used to this, he thinks. He never wants to leave Malcolm's house, Malcolm's company.
With dinner served, Malcolm opts for the seat opposite Colin. "Thank you," Colin says gratefully. They're silent for a few minutes, both too hungry to do anything other than eat. When he's finished everything on his plate, Malcolm looks up to find Colin smiling at him. "It looks like we were both hungry," Colin says wryly.
"I haven't eaten since yesterday morning," Malcolm realises.
Colin looks slightly stunned. He opens his mouth to say something, then seems to think better of it and closes it again. Eventually he manages, "You'll have to tell me your side of the story."
Malcolm's stomach clenches, a remnant of fear creeping back in. He takes a few moments to compose himself, reassured that Colin is here in front him, and there's nothing to worry about now. So he gathers his courage, looks straight at Colin - no matter how much it hurts to watch his friend's expressions as he tells the tale - and recounts the events of the last day from his perspective.
When he gets to the part where SO19 stormed the flat, Malcolm is yet again filled with the terror of that moment. He tells of hearing the sounds of shouting and gunfire, shuddering when he recalls the status report. "I thought they were going to say you were dead and -", his voice breaks.
Colin reaches across the table, unable to bear it any longer, and takes Malcolm's hand. With a jolt, Malcolm's eyes are drawn to their hands; Colin's resting on top of his. They've not had this sort of contact before. His stomach lurches, heart rate speeding up. His throat is suddenly painfully dry when he swallows. Gaze still focused on their hands, Malcolm turns his so that their palms are against each other. Colin's gaze, which until this point had been fixed on Malcolm's face, slides down to their joined hands. A frisson of excitement runs through him. The tips of Colin's fingers brush gently against the thin skin of Malcolm's inner wrist, feeling his pulse quicken. In response, Malcolm runs his thumb along the back of Colin's hand.
They stay that way for a few moments longer, unable to prevent themselves from taking indulgence in the comfort they're being offered. Eventually, Colin looks up, unable to keep his eyes off Malcolm any longer; he's staggered by the expression on his friend's face. Malcolm exudes a sense of longing tinged with hope, like he can't believe this is happening but wants it to be more than anything. Colin can only hope it means what he wants it to mean. Almost like they're connected by some invisible thread, Malcolm lifts his head and his eyes meet Colin's. He's surprised by the look in his friend's eyes; Colin's pupils are blown wide and Malcolm can tell he's been just as affected by their contact.
Malcolm wants to do nothing more than lean over the table and capture Colin's lips with his, but deep down he knows there's a conversation to be had first. He's not the sort of person to act first and speak later, he likes to know what he's getting into before he gives himself over to it. And after all, it's only been a few hours since Colin's return, and Malcolm feels like it would be inappropriate to take advantage of him without his express consent. Instead, he gently extricates his hand from Colin's, and though he feels suddenly bereft from the loss of contact, manages to ask: "Shall we retire to the living room? I could get us a glass of whiskey."
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Colin smiles at Malcolm. "Sounds good," he murmurs. Before he gets up to leave though, Colin looks at Malcolm meaningfully and gathers his courage enough to say in a strangled voice, "We have more to talk about, don't we?"
Malcolm's gaze slides away from his nervously, but he manages to nod briefly before getting up to retrieve a couple of glasses and following Colin into the living room.
