A/N: We're just one chapter away from the auction for those of you who are counting. Someone (an anonymous guest) stated that Killian/Hook wouldn't be embarrassed by the attention being paid to him by women. I didn't intend for it to come off that way, as his character would be used to that over the years. Killian's reaction has been based more on embarrassment of such attention in front of Emma. He's more afraid of her reaction to it than it happening in general. For instance in the other chapter where I wrote about the woman at Granny's and how Emma reacted by kissing him. He wasn't reacting as embarrassed to that woman at all. It is only when Emma is around that he doesn't know what to do with the extra attention.

Killian offered to take Emma out on his new purchase on Thursday, but she refused with the knowledge that she was both working a full shift as sheriff and doing volunteer duty at the died that night. He'd sulked a bit, but agreed that she was being a public servant and promised to reward her for that. She had laughed at her father's disgust over that statement, leaving her to remind him about walking in on him and her mother in bed.

"Why are you so anxious to get out on the water?" Emma asked Killian as they shared a breakfast to go order from Granny's at her desk. "Is it the call of ocean to you or are you avoiding something?"

He blushed a bit deeper, swallowing the bite he had just taken. "I'm avoiding a final session with the Evil Queen," he said. "Unlike your father, I'm not keen on taking her advice and subjecting myself to her judgment."

"I don't think he likes it much either," Emma said, closing the now empty food container. She sighed and groaned in a very unladylike fashion, sinking back into her chair with her eyes already drooping. Full from the food and tired from being on edge for the past few days caught up with her. "It is too early to say this, but I could really use a nap."

Killian smiled warmly at her. "You could forgo your volunteer job tonight and rest. I doubt anyone would blame you for needing that."

"I promised Ruby," she said. "I always keep my promises."

"That you do," Killian said, standing up to remove their breakfast remnants. "I do have hope that you will someday put yourself before helping everyone else."

"Life of a savior," she smiled. She stood up, stretching her arms over her head. "Come here and let me kiss you goodbye. I have to get some work done and I don't need you distracting me."

She brushed her lips against his once and then twice, trying not to melt into him like she felt the tendency to do these days. She did have responsibilities to take care of at work and more than that she had a father due in shortly. Pulling back, she giggled at the disappointed look in his eyes. "What did you expect?" she teased, their faces still so close that their breath mingled. "We're in the middle of my office."

He nipped along her jawline, moving closer to her ear. His lips just above the silver earring she wore, his voice and breath were warm against her. "Have a good day, Swan," he said.

***AAA***

That Thursday night Leroy and some of the guys had ordered just about every item on the menu at Granny's, enjoying both the food and the fact they did not have to pay the bill. From the beers they were using to toast a million and one things to the French fries soaked in cheese and bacon, they seemed to be in heaven as they told and retold their adventures that week to each other.

"Did you make these, sister?" Leroy asked, shoving another of the long potato wedges into his mouth. "It's good to know you have a talent other than crime and villain fighting."

"It's good to have a fall back," she responded, attempting to balance the six drinks she was taking to one of the nearby tables. Ruby had suggested balancing the tray using both of her hands and a shoulder, but she had yet to master that technique. So when she tripped there was nothing she could do to save the drinks or the patrons at the nearby tables from being bathed in soda.

"Sorry," she said, using what felt like hundreds of napkins while she waited on her father's help. The whole incident left her sticky and her shoes stuck to the floor as she walked in soggy socks and shoes.

Emma was rolling her shoulders, attempting to put some feeling back into them other than pain from carrying the oversized tray of food from one set of customers to the next. When she'd told Ruby she would do this, she had imagined 10-15 people, but the place was packed. They were keeping her running as she refilled glasses, brought out extra condiments, and took orders from each one.

"You should have recruited more wait staff," Emma said as she waited for Granny to finish sautéing the main course for one table and stir frying another. "I'm dying out there."

Ruby was supposedly helping to wait tables, but for every three that Emma hit, Ruby was still at her first table conversing with the crowd. "You're doing fine," Ruby told her. "Just keep thinking about those tips."

"Those tips are going to charity," Emma reminded her. "That's not a motivating factor for my feet and shoulders." She grabbed two more completed plates off the shelf and backed her way through the swinging door into the dining room. Her father followed behind her, dumping everything from the deserted tables into the large plastic box.

"Are they making him wear a hairnet?" Victor asked, smiling at Emma's eye roll.

"I'd worry more about the one cooking wearing a hairnet than my father," she retorted back and headed over to refill the water glasses of some of the Merry Men. She was afraid to even glance at the clock, knowing that she still had quite a while left on what seemed to be an endless shift.

"I'm going to kill Ruby," her father said as he brought out a bucket and mop again. She followed his gaze over to where Jefferson, Will, and Little John had started a conversation about what did happen when you bumped beer bottles with the bottom of one and the top of the other. Emma shook her head and fished out a few more bottles for the men who gratefully accepted her delivery.

"She should have gotten someone else," she told her father as he walked by. "You should be getting a free dinner too."

He tried to look annoyed. "I volunteered for this first so I'm stuck," he admitted. "I've learned my lesson though. Next time Ruby starts a sentence with, 'I need you to do me a favor' I'm going to run the other direction."

"In her defense," Emma said, patting her father's shoulder, "you volunteered for the auction on your own."

"It's his fault," David answered, eyeing the table where Killian had just sat down.

"Your father appears to be overworked," Killian said when she finally made it to his table to both take his order and kiss his waiting cheek.

"So am I," she told him. "And yet that doesn't stop you from making me take your order." She tapped her pen on her order pad like a real pro, only needing to smack chewing gum to look like the stereotype. She was even wearing a uniform though not as bold as the one Ruby used to wear. The red skirt stopped a few inches above her knees and the white short sleeved shirt buttoned down and was tucked into the skirt behind and red and white striped apron. Her hair was in a high ponytail, completed by a red bow with red sneakers and white socks to complete the outfit. She even had a name tag. "What will you have, sir?" she asked, emphasizing the moniker to show off her professionalism.

His eyes were blatantly mischievous as he looked up and down her body. She only allowed that for a moment before she shook her head. "Alright, mister," she said with a gentle laugh. "You are getting the tomato soup and grilled cheese."

"Wait," he cried out as she turned to leave. "I didn't order that."

"Too late," she responded, placing the order slip in the window of the kitchen. "Order's already in."

Emma glanced over at her mother who was leaning over the counter at an awkward angle to speak quietly with Tom Clark. While the angle might have been to avoid the man sneezing on her, Emma did wonder about the conversation. He handed Mary Margaret a small white envelope that from far away appeared to have money inside. She stood back up, placed the envelope in her pocket and smiled, walking back to the register.

"I'm not going to have to arrest you for embezzlement, am I?" Emma asked, waiting on her next order to be ready. "You looked like you're skimming money off the till."

The dark haired woman laughed. "You know what I'm doing," she said with a wry smile. "And I think we're in business, by the way. I just have to get these coins from Leroy appraised."

Emma shot her a not now your husband and my boyfriend are in here and we can't let them know look. "Just be more discrete," Emma said, reaching in the window for a plate of lasagna for Anton and one of clams for Michael Tillman. "I'd hate to have to offer an explanation for this tonight." Pausing, she looked over at the register. "Wait! Why are you even running the register? Everyone is eating for free tonight."

Mary Margaret looked a bit sheepishly at her daughter. "How long was it going to take you to notice?" she teased. "I'm collecting the tips."

Emma groaned, looking at her mother's uniform that was similar to her own but spotless after not have to slop food back and forth. "We're not going to discuss the unfairness of that situation or the fact that you could have been helping me," Emma declared. "But later we are going to have a long talk about this family and responsibility and stuff."

***AAA***

Emma groaned out her gratitude as her mother poured the water from the tea kettle into the basin where she was soaking her feet. The sound, which was completely about the painful and swollen appendages, was enough to make David and Killian laugh at her dramatic and somewhat inappropriate response to even the modicum of pleasure that warm water brought her.

"I don't want to hear it," she told them, wagging her finger at each. "You got to sit at some point tonight – all of you. And some of you," she shot an accusing look at Killian, "sat all evening having me wait on you. I am never going to be able to move again."

"I did not realize that waitressing required so much physical strength," David said with a smirk. "And imagine if you'd had to carry a mop and a bucket or a container full of dirty dishes."

Emma glared at him, with both hands on her neck, attempting a massage that she had refused to allow Killian to endeavor earlier. She did not need that to happen in front of her parents. "We're not going to compare loads we had to carry," she told him. "And I'd like to point out that you somehow always managed to find a seat in the kitchen when you weren't working."

"Granny needed the company," David answered, earning a mutual look of annoyance from mother and daughter. "What? I was being nice."

Killian handed the cup he had been holding to Emma, smiling as she accepted it with almost as much enthusiasm as the water for her foot soak from her mother. "Are you certain there is nothing else I can do for you, love?"

"No," Emma said. "I'll be fine in a few hours. You and Dad need to get your rest though. Women won't bid on you if you've got bags under your eyes or look like you haven't slept in a week."

Mary Margaret perched herself on the arm of the chair where David sat, running her hand through his hair critically. "You should try and work in a trim," she said. "You're getting a bit shaggy. Don't you want to look your best on stage?"

"I don't think I have much to worry about there," David answered, wrapping his arm around her waist. "With all the gifts and attention I've gotten recently, I think that I have nothing to fear. But I might get a little spruced up for my date."

"Is that what you're calling it?" his wife asked, slapping a hand onto his shoulder. "I thought it was just a movie."

David took a sip from his own beverage and appeared thoughtful as he considered. "I've been thinking about that," he said. "We're probably talking about a lot of money. I would want the woman winning to get her money's worth. So I am considering adding in a romantic walk in the park and lunch since this is all supposed to occur in the daylight."

"You sure you want to do that, mate?" Killian asked. "What if that Mrs. Potts wins? You'd be avoiding those pinching fingers of hers for hours. Are you up to that task?"

David laughed, having already heard of Killian's much less planned run in with the woman. "There are plenty of women in this town who are well worth the effort," he said, not noticing the angry looks of his wife and daughter. "I'm kind of enjoying the idea of guessing who it might be. It could be fun."

Killian darted his eyes to Emma. "I am still holding out hope that this lass is going to come through and bid on me," he admitted. "I don't know that I'd care to spend a day alone at sea with another woman. I also don't know that Swan would let me survive that."

Emma's face softened, but she bit back her laugh. "So is it fear or romance that has you so sure I should pay to spend time with you?" she asked. "And by the way, no. I still maintain that I'm not paying to spend a day with my boyfriend. That just seems wrong."

"Look at it as an adventure," David added. "You'll get to spend time with someone else for the day. It'll make you appreciate what you have even more." He squeezed his arm tighter around his wife's waist. "Plus we're going to bring in a lot of money."

Emma giggled, stretching her feet in the warm water. "Why are you so convinced you're going to bring in so much money?" she asked. "The women in town may have run out of money on all the gifts."

David looked hurt that they were questioning what he considered very magnanimous gesture. "I'm simply trying to give the woman who wins a day with me her money's worth," he said. "It is going to be a competitive process and the winner deserves more than a dvd."

"So you're thinking to take her to Granny's?" Mary Margaret asked, her eyes narrow with suspicion. "Or someplace else?"

David shrugged casually. "I checked with some of the other restaurants in town, but they are already booked with it being Valentine's Day and all the men trying to come up with something for their dates from the auction."

"So Granny's?" she repeated her question.

"I was thinking that maybe it should be more intimate," he said. "Maybe you could cook here and we could open one of those expensive bottles of wine that I was given?"

Emma flinched as she watched her mother's head spin to face her father, the brunette jumping up from his semi-embrace and facing him head on. "Uh oh," she whispered under her breath, shooting Killian a warning look to not say a word. In most instances she would have run, but her father was positioned near the stairs and the door, blocking her easy escape and her feet hurt way too much to run.

"You have put yourself on the auction block to have women pay money to spend time with you," her mother rattled off, seeming to have a list of grievances she'd been wanting to share. "Those same women who have been leaving inappropriate gifts at the home you share with your wife and children."

David looked a bit shell shocked as she addressed him, nodding weakly at her assessment.

"You expect me to sit through this auction where women will be looking you over like you're an animal for sale for a farm," she continued. "I'm supposed to ignore the comments about you. I'm supposed to ignore the comments about how I must not be keeping you satisfied because why else would you be putting yourself out there. I'm supposed to spend hours alone on Valentine's Day while you watch a movie in a dark room with some other woman. And now you want me to cook for the two of you."

"I guess that was a bad idea," David answered. "I didn't realize that you…"

Neal's wail interrupted the tense scene, his screeching growing increasingly insistent as Mary Margaret stared harshly at her husband and then retreated to see to her son. "I hope Mrs. Potts does win you," she said over the screams of her son.

"I think I should be going," Killian said, lifting Emma's hand to kiss it gently rather than a proper goodbye kiss. For one he did not want to know if she was harboring such feelings too, but mostly he was not looking to shoulder the blame that David might throw his way for getting him involved in this mess. Pausing at the silent and traumatized man, the pirate patted his shoulder consolingly. "It's going to be fine, mate."

As the door clicked behind him, David looked helplessly at his wife pacing the floor with a quieter but still upset Neal. "I should go in there," he said, not moving from his chair.

"I wouldn't recommend it," Emma said quietly. "Let her cool down a little. It'll help."

David stood, torn between rushing to her side and retreating from the battle that he may have already lost. "Maybe I should take a walk," he said, moving toward the door. "I would say she wouldn't hit me while she's holding our son, but I'm not so sure right now."

"I'll talk to her," Emma said. "Go pick up something chocolate. It can be a peace offering."

Her father left, throwing a jacket on as he prepared to brave the cold. She leaned forward and saw that her mother was still pacing the floor of the bedroom, her arms wrapped tightly around the baby. With a grunt of pain, Emma removed her feet from the water and dried them on the waiting towel.

"He's gone to search for chocolate," Emma said as she threw herself on the foot of the bed. "He'll be gone a while. I think this town has been cleaned out of anything romantic for the past week."

Her mother gave short and sarcastic laugh. "That's why our plan was so perfect," she said, drawling out the last word. "We sold all of Killian and David's gifts to the other men to woo the ladies into bidding on them. It was a brilliant plan."

Emma sighed. "Yes, it was," she said. "Especially since it gave us enough money to be competitive when we bid on them."

Her mother's hand was going up and down the baby's back in a soothing motion that was probably as much for her as it was for him. "Well, you can have my share of it," Mary Margaret declared. "If your father wants to spend a romantic day with another woman because she bid on him, he can. I hope he goes for cheap."

"Mom," Emma said, propping herself on both elbows. "You're angry that he wants you to cook and that some of this might be getting to his head, but do you really want to watch other women fight over your husband?"

Her mother paused her movement until Neal vocally objected. "You're the one who said we should let them sink or swim," she said accusingly. "You said that you didn't want to use your own money to bid on your boyfriend and that we should trust them."

Emma tilted her head and closed her eyes briefly. "And yet I've been helping you sell all the presents," she pointed out. "I even helped you write poems for Tom to give to that one woman. I know you and me. We aren't going to sit there with our hands in our pockets while women who gave the guys lacey red underwear and half-naked photos pay to have a day with them. I trust Dad and Killian, but I don't trust those women. Neither do you."

"What do you suggest? Because I don't want to boost your father's ego any more than you want to boost Killian's. There has to be a way that we can teach them a lesson and avoid that."

"We could give the money to Granny and Mrs. Potts," Emma suggested. "Can't you just see Dad in a dark room with Mrs. Potts? And Killian on a boat with Granny?"

"That seems kind of mean," Mary Margaret said. "And unfair to Mrs. Potts and Granny. I may be a little ticked at your father at the moment, but I do still love him."

Her mother slipped into the alcove to put Neal back in his crib, humming a soft tune as she did so. Collapsing back on the foot of the bed, Emma stared up at the ceiling for an answer. Time was running out and she wasn't so sure she'd mentally be okay with knowing that Killian was out on his new-old boat with some beautiful woman while she waited on shore. She wished she was a bigger person, but the whole idea made her sick. She wouldn't even be able to hide out at the loft now that her father was going to bring some woman back there.

"I've got it," Emma announced, sitting up and her sore feet slapping the floor. "We're going to win those auctions and we're going to surprise the hell out of our men."

Thank you all for the reception this fic has received. I've enjoyed getting to hear how much you are laughing and how you could see these things playing out in your mind. It's been a fun fic to write. As someone who writes for a living, I've been enjoying the chance to just be fun and carefree with this. I hope you love the twist that is coming in the next chapter.

Spoilers:

Emma and Mary Margaret take on the women.

Granny spends some serious money.

Killian and Henry try to figure it all out.

David and Killian are surprised and pleased with the outcome.