Bad Company
Chapter 7; Part I.
Sonny lie on the couch in her living room that night, staring at the light bruising that encircled her wrists with a sigh. She had never had another person inflict actual physical pain on her before, much less another person who claimed to love her. Her mom had spent to evening trying to prod her for answers as to why she was so upset. Sonny simply told her that Cory had dumped her. It was the truth, though she didn't feel like going into the details of what had happened. Knowing her mother, the woman would most certainly overreact.
What exactly had happened? Sonny couldn't help but to believe that Cory's lashing out at her was her fault; after all, she had been hiding something that she knew would hurt him. Maybe she had deserved the way he'd treated her? She knew that he hadn't meant to hurt her. Cory was reacting to his anger—he had just dealt with it in the wrong way. The Cory that Sonny knew would never hurt anyone, would he?
Finally, she sighed as she pulled the long sleeves of her pajamas down to cover her wrists. Explaining what had happened to her mother would be difficult, and Sonny assumed it would be best just to cover her wrists until the bruises finally faded away.
Sonny groaned. She wasn't sure whether she and Cory would ever be together again. Obviously, he'd be harboring a lot of anger towards her for awhile; this wasn't something he'd forget about overnight. But he did say that he loved her, didn't he? Was that really such an easy thing to turn off?
She decided to forget about Cory for the evening, pondering what this quarrel with him meant was driving her insane. It was after midnight, and at this rate, she'd never get to sleep if she kept thinking about him. Finally she sunk back against the sofa, glad to be out of her mom's room for the night, far enough away that she could no longer hear the woman's soft, but distracting, snores.
The brunette comedian had just drifted off when the sound of a hiccup woke her. Her eyes snapped open curiously at the sound. She held her breath, listening carefully for the sound again, but the apartment remained quiet and still. Just when she was certain that it was just her imagination, the soft sound of a sob escaped from her room, and she was certain now that she wasn't just hearing things. Finally, Sonny tossed the blanket that covered her to the side, getting up off the couch and walking quietly towards the door of her bedroom.
The sound grew louder with each step she took—the sound of someone crying. No, there was no way. Chad had to be watching an episode of his show, because certainly someone who was as emotionless as he was wouldn't be crying.
Sonny slowly pushed the door of the bedroom open to see his figure sitting on the corner of her bed, staring out the window in a trance.
"Chad?"
He didn't look up when she softly said his name, his gaze remaining fixed on the night sky.
"Chad?" she asked him again, this time touching his arm as she said it. The boy instantly flinched, turning to meet her eyes. Sonny was taken aback—completely appalled—at the sight of tear trails streaming down the young actor's face. His eyes were red and puffy, his arms were wrapped tightly around himself, and his face scrunched up from excessive weeping. The scene in front of her was so unreal: Chad Dylan Cooper was crying. And not just a few tears, he was full-fledged bawling.
"Chad?" Sonny asked softly, kneeling down to his level. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, biting his lip in hopes to muffle his sobs. Chad Dylan Cooper knew that he was never supposed to cry, especially in front of her. Hadn't he done enough already?
"Chad, please," she begged. "Just tell me what's wrong."
There was a moment when the boy stared at her, trying to decide whether or not to confide in the girl. She had just finished screaming at him only hours prior, and the last thing on Earth he wanted to do was burden her with another one of his problems. Feeling that he just needed to get this off of his chest, he finally spoke.
"It should have been me."
Sonny frowned in confusion, staring back at the him. "What are you talking about, Chad?"
"I should have died in that accident."
Sonny's mouth went agape at his words. "Chad...wh-why would you even say that?" They were such serious words to be saying, especially coming from Chad. The boy was not someone who was melodramatic. Perhaps as his character, Mackenzie, but Chad Dylan Cooper did not speak this way in real life.
"It..." he began before emitting another sob. "It was my fault. He didn't have to die. It was my fault that it happened. It shouldn't have been Drake. It should've been me..." Chad mumbled, almost incoherently, and he began to shake before beginning to cry uncontrollably. Sonny wasted no time in sinking down in the bed next to him, placing her hand reassuringly on his back.
For Sonny, witnessing Chad in his current state was a hard thing to take. Teenage boys did not cry like this, if ever.
"D-Drake's parents loved him. H-He could do no w-wrong in their eyes. They h-have to be so crushed r-right now..." Chad managed through broken sobs before taking a deep breath. "My parents could c-care less whether I'm d-dead or a-alive. I-If it would have been me instead of Drake, n-nobody would even care r-right now."
Sonny's eyes widened. She couldn't even believe those words had come out of the boy. Chad was always so sure of himself; he was the most self-confident person she knew. "Chad, that's not true."
"It is. I-I can't do this anymore, S-Sonny," Chad went on. "I-I can't p-pretend like everything's f-fine. I-I hate being a burden to e-everyone." Chad leaned over, burying his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking. "Y-You're right, I ruin everything," he whispered.
Sonny's face paled at his words. What she had just told him only hours ago—the words she assumed would have no affect on him at all—was the reason for his breakdown. All of this time she thought Chad was completely unemotional to everything that was going on in his life, he was falling apart on the inside. Every mean thing she'd said to him over the past week had obviously effected him deeply.
The boy brought the back of his wrist up to his face to wipe away his tears. "I killed someone," he finally admitted. "How am I supposed to go on everyday knowing that I killed him?"
"Chad, it wasn't your fault. You didn't force Drake to drive drunk. You did what any responsible individual who's been drinking does and you called a designated driver," Sonny assured him. "No one blames you for his death. No one even has a right to blame, you Chad. You both made a mistake—your friend's quite a bit bigger than yours, but it was a very unfortunate accident, and that's it."
Chad sat in thought for a moment, his sobs finally beginning to die down. "I asked him to drive me to some stupid party I didn't even want to go to in the first place. If I would've just stayed home that night..." He shook his head. "I can't pretend this isn't my fault, Sonny. I can't pretend that Drake would still be dead if I hadn't have screwed up that night."
Sonny quickly leaned forward, putting her hand on his shoulder, and that's when it hit her—the stench of alcohol.
"Oh my God! Chad, have you been drinking?"
His guilty blue eyes instantly locked with hers.
"Where did you get alcohol?"
He swallowed hard.
"Chad?"
"I found it in your kitchen," he finally admitted. "It was hidden in the back of the closet."
Closing her eyes, Sonny sighed. "Chad, why would you do this? And after everything that happened?"
"I-I couldn't..." He stared at her, as if somehow his silence would explain it all.
"You can't go without it, can you?" she finished for him.
Ashamed of himself, he shrugged.. "I didn't have anything to drink for two weeks, and it was only a half-bottle of cheap wine. I-I just needed something to calm my nerves. You're going to tell on me now, aren't you?" he asked her, glancing down.
Sonny sighed. "No."
Chad's head snapped up, and he stared at her curiously.
"I don't want my mom getting in trouble over this since you found it in our apartment. She obviously forgot about it, and that's why she didn't find it when we were cleaning everything out. But I don't think you can go on claiming you don't have a drinking problem anymore. You need help, and I want you to go to the meetings."
"I did. I went to one."
"No. I want you to go to one every week. I want you to admit to my mom and Deborah that you have a problem so they can help you get over your addiction. I want you to stop drinking, Chad. For good."
"I-I can't go to those meetings anymore. Everyone knows who I am," Chad began, fear evident in his voice. "This thing is going to ruin my career. I can't exactly be a 'tween heartthrob when it gets out that I'm a drunk," he argued. "Mac Falls is my life, Sonny. Without it, I have nothing."
"And alcohol will ruin your life, Chad. It already almost killed you! At this rate, it will only be a matter of time before you get fired, too," Sonny said, her tone getting more angry. "I want you to trust me, okay? I don't want to ruin your career; I only want to help you."
Chad's brows drew together at her words.
Sonny sighed. "I don't care what you think—there's a lot of people who do care about you. My mom cares about you a lot. I care about you, Chad," Sonny admitted. "I've been so wrapped up in pleasing my boy-, I mean, ex-boyfriend, that I haven't been all that nice of you. I realize how cruel what I said to you earlier was, and I want you to know that I didn't mean a word of it."
"Sonny, you don't have to apologize..." Chad began.
"No, I do," Sonny insisted with a sigh. "You didn't ruin anything—it was all me. I ruined what was once a perfect relationship by lying Cory. It wasn't your fault at all. I'm sorry for blaming you, and for getting mad at you last week when I told you that you didn't deserve an apology. You do deserve an apology, Chad. I was wrong, and I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Chad said quietly, shrugging.
"It's not," Sonny said, bumping his shoulder with her own playfully. "But thank you for forgiving me."
Chad looked up from his lap. "So now what?"
Sonny bit her lip. "I dunno. Are you tired?"
He shook his head.
"Then maybe we can go into the kitchen and talk over hot chocolate? That's what my mom and I used to do when I couldn't sleep at night. I don't know if it has the same sobering effects as coffee, but-"
"I'm not drunk," Chad said, rolling his eyes. "Not that drunk, anyway."
"Whatever. Did you finish the bottle?"
Chad sighed as Sonny stared at him, motioning for him to hand over what was left of the wine. Groaning, he dug underneath one of the pillows on the bed and extracted an almost-empty wine bottle. "You know what?" Sonny asked him once she was holding the bottle in her hands. "Why don't you empty it out? It will be our ceremoniously way of celebrating that last night you drink. Ever."
"Right..." he began, blowing his bangs.
"Chad-"
"Okay, I'll try, Sonny. But I don't think you realize how my fans hound me at those meetings-"
"Oh, you'll do better than try," Sonny warned as she stood up, putting her hands on her hips. She finally reached out to the boy, taking his hands into her own before helping him to a stand, even though she was certain he'd gotten the hang of his crutches by now and could stand just fine by himself.
"God, you're just like your mom," he joked as Sonny reached for his crutches.
"I love my mother, but I'd better never hear you say that again."
Minutes later, after Sonny watched him pour what remained of the wine down the kitchen sink, Chad slipped into a chair at the table. Sonny began to heat some water up in a tea kettle before looking through the cabinets to find the hot cocoa mix.
"I guess now I know why you were trashing my kitchen last night," she said knowingly, retrieving the box she had been looking for and filling two mugs with hot chocolate mix.
Chad offered a small, impish smile. "I have to be honest, I hate waffles."
Sonny placed one of the mugs and a spoon on the table before Chad. As she did so, he couldn't help but to notice how much Sonny really was like her mother, his smile growing more. Mrs. Munroe didn't turn out to be so bad, maybe he and Sonny would eventually grow on each other, too.
Maybe, just maybe, living with the Munroes wouldn't be hell on Earth after all.
Sonny sat down at the table across from him, and they stared at one another in silence. Finally, she laughed a bit towards Chad, her eyes lighting up. "Why are you smiling?"
He shrugged. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize. It's nice. I like it when you're happy," she insisted. "After the past two weeks, it's a relief to see you not sulking in my bedroom for once."
"Yeah..." Chad said in thought as he looked away, suddenly seeming a bit embarrassed. "Just so you know, I'm not a pervert or anything."
Sonny frowned, raising an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"When I saw you in your...your...unmentionables," he began, blushing. "I wasn't trying to, like, catch a glimpse of anything..."
Chad was expecting her to get mad, maybe yell at him again for bringing up the subject, but instead Sonny smiled, laughing. "Well, I sorta figured that out by how horrified you looked when you saw me," she said, her eyes sparkling with humor.
"So you're not still made about it? Because you were pretty pissed when it happened."
"Chad, I've forgotten about it, okay?" Sonny assured him.
"Really?"
Sonny's eyes glanced up as she pursed her lips together in thought. "No. That moment will probably haunt me forever," she admitted. "I was just trying to make you feel better."
Chad frowned.
"But, uh, I do forgive you. That and I'm having a lock put on my door asap."
"That's probably a good idea," Chad admitted with a small smile.
Sonny looked down quietly, reaching out in front of her and playing with the handle of her mug. Chad's smile quickly faded when something caught his eye. He frowned as he reached for her wrist, holding it up delicately.
"What happened?"
Her eyes widened, remembering the bruises. "Oh, uh..." she said, tugging her hand out of his grasp and quickly pulling her sleeve down. "I got these new bracelets..." she began. "Turns out I'm allergic to nickel. I know, it looks just awful. Last time I buy cheap jewelery, huh?"
Sonny didn't like the way Chad stared into her eyes, as if he was debating whether or not she was lying, and she quickly averted her gaze from the boy. Luckily, it was then that the tea kettle began to whistle, and she quickly slid out of her seat. "Do you like marshmallows?" she asked him, bringing the kettle of warm water to the table and pouring some in each cup.
"Uh, I'm human, aren't I?"
