I began to reveal to Nick exactly why I didn't want to like him. Actually, it explained a lot about me; but was also the most tragic and saddening of all of my memories.

"Remember when I told you that no guy had ever though of me as anything more than a friend? Well, I guess I wasn't completely honest with you." I knew that I had to press on, but already I felt as though I may drown in my tears. "His name was Liam. We went out for almost 9 months. Liam was the sweetest, funniest, most understanding guy that anyone could ever wish to meet. He liked me every bit as much as I liked him. And he was the only one who understood that sometimes I just wanted to be by myself, sometimes I wanted to just write for hours at a time. All my other friends got fed up with it and I was kind of lonely. But Liam understood; he was great at soccer and knew what it was like to have such a busy schedule. He knew it was worth it to put so much time into something when it was something you loved.

It was my birthday, and I sitting on the couch by the windowsill in my living room, in the middle of the climax of my novel. Liam had been on his way to my house and of course it was pouring rain, as it always is in my hometown. The road were slick, and it was hard to anyone to see clearly. At the intersection down the street from my house, when…"

The memory was too sharp, too clear; it was altogether too much. Nick squeezed me tightly, seeing my distress. However, there was no time to be upset, because if I stopped now, I would never finish. Wiping my eyes, I continued,

"I heard the squeal of tires, and a piercing yell. Looking out the window, my view of the scene was sadly unobscured. The car had spun through the neighbours' fence, and Liam was… I raced down to road, and knelt down beside him. I almost wished I hadn't. As soon as I got down there, I knew that he wasn't going to make it; there was too much blood, far too much blood. He knew I was there and the last thing that he said to me, I guess the last thing that he said to anyone, was simply, 'thank you.'"

I had thought that I would be crying more than ever, reliving this moment, but instead I felt numb and cold. I knew that the shivers running down my side had little to do with the weather (though it was beginning to rain lightly). Nick still sat beside me silently, but I had one more thing I had to say. Looking him right in the eyes, I said, "He wasn't just my boyfriend; he was my best friend, my only friend. And when he was gone, I couldn't get close to people, for fear that they would leave me. I just can do it, Nick. I can't go there again, I don't think I'd make it."

"Alex, I'm not going anywhere. With all the security following me around, nothing is going to happen to me!"

He still didn't understand. This was what I was afraid would happen. He had to understand that we just couldn't be together. I didn't think that it would be worth it to take this risk. You may think that I was going on and on about this, but have you ever lost a friend? Your only friend?

"I wasn't kidding about the media. They really will be all over you for dating someone that's like 2 ½ years younger than you! And what about our parents? Nick, there is going to be too much pressure on this to work out, and if it doesn't, everyone is going to say, 'I told you so, Nick, I told you not to go out with some kid.' How do you think that would make me feel?"

"I'll make sure it works out! I'm never going to meet anyone like you again!"

"You are impossible. It's about to rain too, let's just go inside."

He helped me up (good choice, I might have slapped him otherwise) and I grasped his arm for support as we slide open the door and went inside. The irregular throbbing and pain my ankle was causing was really starting to get on my nerves.

I sat down on one end of the couch, and Nick was on the other. Sure, I had always dreamed of meeting him, of him falling in love with me, but I never imagined that it would happen. And that was before Liam… well, you know what I mean. I was made at Nick for being so careless as to think that a relationship between us could work out. It may sound to you like I am blowing this out of proportion and that it could totally work. But imagine having to tell you dad that you are dating a rock star 2 ½ years older than you. Sound bad yet? Now imagine that the whole world knew that you were dating, and you were being constantly followed by cameras and reporters shoving microphones in your face asking for a word. This was what I would be faced with; Nick couldn't be with me all the time. I just didn't know him well enough yet to know whether he was worth it.