Why did I lie to you guys?! I seriously meant for this to be updated, a LONG time ago! I'm so sorry! :( I had problem after problem with this one, and even now I'm still not completely happy with it :P and I'm saying this because that might be why I've been late getting it up here.

Before you read, I just would like to give immense thanks to everyone who has read this, reviewed, and who is following, it means so much!


'White rabbit indeed.' I thought. 'It seems I've fallen down a rabbit-hole of my own.'

These peculiar neighbors could, I thought, very well be some sort of caricature in Mr. Carroll's tales (with proper alteration) Lucas especially. I began to stroll along the gate, my eyes alert for Alice. And all the while I thought about all that I had been told, and wondered if it had been only some sort youthful naiveté that had made me determined to find this girl in the first instance, or curiosity, as Mama seemed to think.

Of her, I was still amazed by her permissive way, as I knew one did not need to be so worldly to know most Mothers, and Fathers even more so, would greatly object. Especially taking into account that she herself had never lain her own eyes upon her. Then I thought how I had still not spoken to Father about the matter as well.

'Perhaps I now have earned his wrath.' I thought. We had spoken, of course, in these past days, but there had been, as with Mama, nothing to suggest his knowledge of it.

I found Alice, she sat on a bench under one of the trees. A dark-haired elf in front of her, with bright cheeks, dark eyes and laughing as her hands jabbed at his midsection. I remembered her mentioning the youngest, who still had a nurse.

An older woman sat next to Alice, hands in lap and a stern eye looked on. The lines surrounding her mouth revealed to me a small guess of her experience as a nurse. She must have seen to Lucas and Lisa as well. She watched them approvingly, but shared none of the cousins' humor.

Her stern expression came upon me when I approached, though Alice, as always, remained concerned only with the little creature in front of her. But glancing at his nurse, he turned and saw me, then abruptly ran to hide behind her.

"Good Morning." Alice greeted, turning my way. "Theo, come here." She directed to the little elf. "Come to me."

The nurse took him by his shoulders and with the force belonging only to those seasoned in experience with difficult children, thrust him forth, whispering in his ear. To which he went to Alice, nervous looking and so obviously shy.

"You needn't handle him so, it is no sin told be timid in new company." Alice said to the Nurse, who was surely not glad to be given this advice. Alice leaned gently to the little boy, "Theo, this is my friend Mr. Rochester."

I bend down, and held my hand out. Theo looked at me, with his dark eyes wide and nearly watery. Cautiously he put his little paw into mine, and shook. He could have been close to Branwell in age, perhaps a year younger, but he was so timid!

The Nurse whispered something to Alice, and she nodded in agreement then told Theo to say goodbye. When the boy stayed silent I added, in face of the Nurse's expression, that it's not really a goodbye, for no doubt I'd see him again before the day was gone.

The Nurse took the boy out of the garden, and we were alone. Alice informed me he was five years, and it had been many days till he said one word to her when she had first met him.

"Once he becomes use to you he's very natural and pleasant. You look upset. Is it because Lucas was waiting for you?" She asked, rising towards me. I related what her Cousin had recounted to me during our trek.

"And yourself? Do you believe him?" She asked when I had concluded the narrative. I answered, despite my towards him, that I could think of no real reason not to. The response surprised me. I familiar to my friend's calm ways (excluding the incident concerning her Cousin Lisa, the explanation of which shall be discussed later) but the arch of her brow narrowed, and she became defensive. Her argument reasoned that I have hardly known Lucas two days, and herself for sometime.

"But not so very long." I reminded, for indeed, though it seemed much longer I think it had barely been two weeks in our acquaintance. Alice knew this. Had I implied a favor of his assertion over her own?

"If he has told me of falsehoods, then say he has, and I will take your word."

She didn't seem to believe me herself, which I thought quite hypocritical. Looking at me, as if I had committed some terrible error, and only moments before she had been as docile as I have known her to be. And I thought her sudden change in mood odd as well, even more queer I began to feel it sink into my heart.

The frustration of such, of all I have said to her, of what I assured her. No, actually it was loyalty. I think, that came to my mind. Had I not come to her each and every morning? Had I not made several promises that told her 'should you wish me to be here, I will come' ? In the face of Ms. Lisa's company I never strayed too far from her side, unless Alice herself made way to do so.

And now, how could she accuse me of mistrust? Such a flimsy issue, that I had not meant to allude towards? A temper grew in me, unfamiliar, and from it I acted impetuously.

I admit my memory seems to lapsed, and as a result I can recall only that the next sentence from my mouth had been unkind, and insinuated that if there had been any justification for misgivings towards her, that they stood from her constant forbearance towards me. I can not recall the exact statement, I can call to mind the events that followed after.

Alice left me.

I followed her, silently, and the regret had already washed over me. Odd my missing memory, yet I remember the feeling of having raised my voice. Having said a harsh thing to her, and I am doubtful (with you, my Friend, permitting me to be) it was something so vulgar.

Though, vulgarity or not, I wished only to mend things. She had not responded, and no tear had fallen, she only turned and walked away. An urgency to catch up to her followed.

I wanted to call out, and release apologies, and promises, and swear upon my beating heart that I would never speak with any sort of malice towards her. If she would only turn, and look me in the eye as she had done before, I would feel myself back in her graces.

Still though, a part of my brain reminded me she acted (and continued to do so) as callow as I. That she had been the first to strike, and though I might have done nothing to aid her sudden flighty person, I had not truly caused it.

But how she drew from me. Each step of mine seemed to have her distance herself more. She would not even allow me to stroll beside her!

I needed not say so harsh a statement, yes, but this young woman had vexed me and now vexed me still. I called to her, but I was ignored.

'Return home.' I thought, 'And come tomorrow.'

And as this new resolve began, in hope tomorrow would find us both in a more agreeable mindsets, I started homeward. A chill of sadness followed, I had wanted to mend things while still there, but I began to exit Almore's grounds.

I had only just reached the bench where I had spotted Alice with little Theo, when I was aware of someone behind me. Alice had decided to follow me.

'Does she think this a game?' I wondered.

She came to me, and there we stood. Neither looking towards the other, not completely, but we seemed to have passed into a quiet remission. I wondered how could we have done so, what had driven us to spit vile upon the other and then find forgiveness just as quickly.

I couldn't recall ever being so capricious. Though here it had happened, and now we stood abashed and ashamed, unsure whether the other had a chance of redemption. I wanted to tell Alice, she most certainly did in my eyes. I had spoken too harshly, ungentlemanly, and what had tried to convince me otherwise was silent.

But it had been her who took my hand in her own, and lead me to the bench. We sat, still silent. Eventually Alice spoke up, and told me, if I were to ask her a question, anything at all, she would answer honestly.


Like I said I'm not completely pleased with the final draft, but I hope you guys found it okay =/ Also things suddenly started to deviate from what I had planned, and hopefully it will work out...eventually...in the long run, I mean...