AN: Second to last chapter for this one too! Warnings for hurt/comfort and porn with feelings.

Akihito had been nervous about how Aoki would take her birthday present but it turns out he needn't have worried. The photograph had been blown up in size and framed with a simple black frame. It was stunning in its simplicity but it was hard not to be nervous over how it would be received. He would never forget watching as Aoki sat for endless moments just staring at the picture of herself before just bursting into tears.

"This is me." She had sobbed out. "This is me."

"This is how we see you." Akihito had said quietly as he gently squeezed her shoulder.

"I'm beautiful."

"Of course."

It had taken a long time for her tears to subside as Aoki cried herself out in her friend's arms. Once she was dry eyed again, she had stood with the picture in hand and asked, with a great deal of determination and just the slightest hint of unease, if they would help her finally come clean to her parents.

So it was that Aoki finally told her parents of her white soulmate mark and showed them the beautiful picture of her filled with raw emotion but still standing strong. There was a lot more tears, from all sides, but it seemed like an invisible burden had lifted from Aoki shoulders at finally having told her parents. Her mother was beside herself after having been frequently talking about soulmates to her daughter for all this time without realising but she thanked Akihito profusely for the photograph. He had been embarrassed and had tried to pass it off as nothing but not even his friends would let him. So he asked if he could use it in a national photography competition that the shop that had framed the photo suggested he enter. He would like the photo to be seen by more people, it showed that Aoki was hurting but not broken, that she was still a person and he wanted the world to see her as he did. But he wouldn't if she didn't want to be seen so intimately by strangers.

Back straight and standing drawn up to her full height, Aoki had told Akihito in imperious tones that he had to enter the competition with her photo. Determination lit her gaze as she looked at him with eyes brimming with emotion.

"Show the world that I'm not broken and don't need anyone's pity."

As promised, he had entered the photo into the open category for the national competition. It would be a number of months before he heard anything back but he was hopeful that maybe somehow the photograph would speak to others as it did to him.

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Lying on his bed, Akihito groaned when his phone started ringing. With a huff he grabbed the offending device from his bedside table and grumbled as he answered Arita.

"Yes?"

"Wow, you are grumpy, aren't you?"

"I don't exactly feel like talking, is it important?"

"You've been sending me pictures that are all dark and dreary and grey the last few days. Figured if it's going on this long then you should talk about it." Akihito sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Aki." Arita said warningly.

"It's stupid."

"That's fine. Just talk to me. I know you find it hard but it's hard just sitting back wondering what is going on when it's clear something is. And it's clearly not something small if it's been this long."

Akihito chewed on his lip anxiously for a few drawn out moments before finally starting to talk.

"So I was at Sion the other day after school. Asami was going to pick me up as we were going to go out for dinner but he was running late so I got dropped off there to wait for him." He trailed off as he tried to find the right words.

"And?" Came Arita's gentle prompting after a while of silence.

"Asami was talking with a woman, she was all dressed up in office attire and she looked so pretty and sophisticated and they just looked really good together. They were laughing at some joke she said and I just… He could have anyone but he gets stuck with me. Why me? Some awkward teenager that hasn't got a clue and still cries at stupid things at the drop of a hat."

"Okay, you're right. It's stupid."

"That actually doesn't help."

"Don't care. You are actually being stupid this time. That man loves you. Anyone can see it by the way he looks at you and treats you. You need to talk to him Aki. You are soulmates, you are the most compatible people for each other on this entire earth. How crazy is that? You have the most perfect person for you right here and you are stressing out about if you are good enough? That's already been proven. Take a good, hard look at your arm, that's you as much as it is Asami-san. I know you know this. Are you just stressed with our final exams coming up and it's frying your brain? Seriously Aki, didn't we just go through with Aoki-chan about the whole self-worth thing? Because you know that applies to you too. We've talked about this already."

"Yes, but-"

"Nope. No buts. Talk to him. You're well over eighteen now Aki, you are allowed to start a relationship with Asami-san now. You're legal now, not that anyone would have cared beforehand to be honest, what with the whole soulmate thing."

"It's not that easy."

Arita sighed. "No, it's not. But you still need to talk to Asami-san and you need to do it soon. Don't make me come up there to kick your ass for being stupid."

Akihito snorted, lips twitching into a slight smile. "You're too far away and it's only midweek, we've got school."

"You know who can kick your ass for me? Ai-chan. So if you keep being stupid, I'll call Ai-chan and she'll kick it for me."

Akihito laughed aloud at that. "You're right, she probably could too."

"When does Asami-san get home?"

"Late, I probably won't see him until tomorrow." He admitted, the other man always tried to be home to see him for at least a few hours in the evenings but it wasn't always possible.

"Alright, I give you until the weekend. If you haven't talked to Asami-san by next week, I'm setting Ai-chan on you."

"Fine, fine."

"If you've been sending all those photos to him as well, he probably knows something is up anyway."

"They're not that bad."

"Uh-huh. You should take a look at them."

They exchanged their goodbyes and once the phone call had ended, Akihito scrolled through his latest photos and winced. He hadn't realised at the time but they really were rather depressing. All greys and shadows and abstract. Flinging the phone down onto the bed with a groan, Akihito ran his hands over his face. He didn't want to talk to his soulmate. How the hell would he be able to put his feelings into words? He couldn't do that at the best of times, that's why he expressed himself through photographs. Even worse, there's no way Asami didn't know something was up and he's probably going to do that thing where he's all patient and gentle but firm enough that he can't escape. Then Akihito is no doubt going to blurt everything out in the worst possible way.

He had been avoiding this for a while. His body was certainly sending signals to get closer to Asami, if his recent embarrassing dreams had been any indication, but this wasn't a new fear. Far from it. It had been luring in the back of his mind for a long time but he had always pushed it away with the excuse that he wasn't ready. Seeing Asami talking with that woman had forced him to confront the fact that it wasn't that he wasn't ready, it's that he didn't feel like he was good enough. Asami frequently showered him with small affections but it was little touches and chaste kisses, almost like one would do for a child, barring the on the lips thing.

Clearly the man was treating him like a child, did he even look at him in the way Akihito looked at him with all those defined muscled and rakish hair? The man was hot as hell and set his teenaged hormones off like nothing he had ever experienced. He didn't think he did. How could you find a gangly, awkward teen attractive? Was he just doing it out of obligation because they were soulmates?

"Ugghhhh." He groaned as he rolled over to bury his face in his pillows. Anxiety swirled low in his gut making him feel nauseous. Deciding to skip dinner, Akihito fished out his headphones and attempted to drown out his thoughts in the heaviest music he could find on his phone.

It was going to be a long night.

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Akihito didn't sleep well at all and woke up feeling tired and grumpy, the anxiety swirling in his stomach had reached a peak once he realised that Asami was home. He could hear the other man in the shower once he had gotten up and moved towards the bathroom hoping to sneak in early to avoid having to deal with him. It was not to be.

He retreated back to his bedroom after dithering in the hallway for a few minutes. He was just pacing around his room when he heard the bathroom door open and the sound of Asami talking as he moved through the penthouse. Popping his head out his door, Akihito was greeted by a very well defined back that was dripping with water. Asami was talking on the phone and stood still dripping with a towel slung low around his hips. Swallowing hard at the sight and cursing his teenaged hormones, Akihito rearranged his pyjama pants and hoped Asami wouldn't notice his embarrassing state as he ventured out into the hallway.

His soulmate turned around when Akihito cleared his throat and he pointed back towards the bathroom.

"Will you be awhile?"

Asami nodded and Akihito made his way back to the bathroom, maybe he could still get lucky and have the man too distracted and avoid their little conversation for a while yet. He slipped into the still steamy bathroom and turned the shower back on before heading over the sink. He had started to grow some stubble in the last few months and had, with great trepidation, started shaving. It had gone more smoothly than everyone had thought. Asami had been hovering over him the first few times he had handled a razor but surprisingly, the sight of a razor blade had never triggered him.

If he cut himself, it was slightly different, blood tended to make him a bit shaky but not usually a full on panic attack. He had just learned to be very careful and take it very slowly. If he was honest, he was just thankful he didn't have to shave often. His psychologist, Tamura-sensei, thought he didn't react to razors because they had provided the means for something of a catharsis for him but the blood signified the pain and the moment where he tried to take his own life. It was all a bit deep for him but he was glad he didn't have panic attacks over something that he needed to use frequently.

Akihito approached the sink with the intent to get his stuff ready for after his shower when he spotted something gleaming beside the tap. Curious, he peered closer at the shiny metal that was peeking out from a beautiful dark redwood handle. Very slowly he picked it up and opened it in his hands. A straight razor. Asami used a straight razor to shave. No wonder he always looked so perfectly clean shaven. They were said to give the closest shave possible but were very dangerous if you weren't careful.

Cut throat.

That was the other name a straight razor was known by because you could very easily open your throat with one of these. The metal shone in the florescent light and he could see just how sharp it was, such a far cry from the pitiful little scraps of metal he had pulled from his cheap razors. What could have happened if he had access to one of these? It was mesmerizingly beautiful the way the light bounced off sharp edge of the razor blade.

Gently, oh so gently, he pressed his finger against the blade and watched in surprise as it immediately sliced through his skin with no resistance whatsoever. Large droplets of red oozed around the blade and he stood transfixed by the sight. It was so easy to press just a little harder and move it down slightly to open up more of his finger and that was when the pain hit all at once. The shock of it had Akihito crying out and the straight razor dropped from nerveless fingers to clatter noisily into the sink.

Suddenly sparked into motion, Akihito threw himself backwards and tripped over the bathmat to land on his ass. His field of vision narrowed until all he could see was the blood dripping down his fingers to pool in his palm. There was so much blood and it just kept flowing. His entire body was shaking violently and tears streamed down his face to splash onto his hand, the water mixing with the slick blood.

Then something was grabbing at him, his vision was pulled from the stark red he had been fixated on but everything else was too blurry for him to make out. Akihito cried out in pain as something touched his finger but was soothed by the warm presence at his side. He continued to cry quietly, body trembling violently, while Asami gently cleaned and dressed the wound on his finger. The other man spoke quietly to him, gently soothing him with his words, while he worked. Once finished, he turned off the shower, put the small first aid kit away along with the straight razor, and bodily picked Akihito up. He carried him bridal style effortlessly, muscles easily able to handle his slight weight.

"You don't have to carry me." Akihito mumbled sullenly. "I didn't do anything stupid to my feet."

Asami didn't answer but he didn't the blonde down either. Surprisingly, he entered into his own room, the master bedroom, and sat down on the edge of the massive bed with Akihito still cradled in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left that out."

Akihito's breath caught at the soft apology. Not once had he ever heard the man apologise to someone, let alone for something that he didn't do. Akihito felt so stupid. What the hell had he been thinking touching that razor? What had come over him to do that? Why had he fixated like that? So much for getting better. A large hand came up and gently brushed the tears he hadn't even realised were falling again. He found himself being pulled even tighter against his soulmates chest and pushed himself away with his good hand.

He felt wretched. Completely stupid and beyond broken.

"Oh no you don't. I'm not letting you run away from this. Somethings been wrong all week. I was happy to wait for you to come to me about it but not now. You are going to have to start talking."

"How…" He croaked out through his tears. "How is it that you can still be so good to me after all of this? Why is it that you could have anyone in the world yet you get stuck with me? Some broken, awkward teenager who can't even be trusted to go to the bathroom by himself."

"Akihito," Asami's voice was almost a growl. "We've been through this."

"Have we? Because I don't see how you could still want me when I'm clearly not in any way close to being not broken."

"You're not broken, Akihito. Hurting still, but not broken."

"Why me? I don't understand."

"Remember what you did for Aoki, Akihito? It's the same thing. You aren't seeing yourself as the rest of us see you. The way I see you."

"How can I be enough?" Akihito was crying again, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to remove himself from Asami's lap.

"Do you remember what I said to you the first week you were here? Give me your life. Each of your tomorrows. I will give you the entire world if that's what it will take so that you are so indebted to me that you will give me your everything. I want your lifetime and in return, I will give you mine. Had you already forgotten?"

Asami reached out and linked their fingers like he had that night when Akihito had taken his first photo of expression, as Tamura-sensei called them.

"I have been holding back this entire time, I wanted to wait for you to come to me once you were ready, but you've been avoiding me lately. Is this why?" Akihito winced, giving enough confirmation in that action alone. "Then I'm done with waiting. I'm not going to sit back and watch you doubt your worth to me."

The older man shifted them suddenly, moving Akihito so that he was lying flat on his back on the bed with Asami caging him in place. Nervous and still feeling out of sorts, he turned his head away and closed his eyes. He couldn't handle this, not right now. Not feeling like this.

"Akihito, look at me."

Slowly he turned his face back to his soulmate and opened his eyes until he was staring directly into Asami's.

"You are priceless, Akihito. You are beyond worth. You are attractive, physically yes, but mentally too. Do you know hard it has been to hold back as I watched you grow into yourself? As your body filled out and as you gained confidence? You just radiate life and vitality and purpose. I am not a nice man, Akihito. I have done many a dark and violent thing in my time on earth so far but you, you are the angel to my demon. You just want to make the world a better place, you don't care about the politics or posturing. You see right through into people's very soul and you accept them without question. You make me a better person. You think I deserve to have my pick of people on this earth? I deserve no one. Not for what I have done. But you, you have been given to me. You are mine, Akihito, and I will never let you go. Not for an eternity. You are mine. It's your forever for my forever. Do you understand?"

Shakily Akihito nodded. The entire speech had taken him by surprise but the implication behind the man's words had taken his breath away by the end. It left his mind reeling and he remained pliant in Asami's grip as he moved him further up the bed so that he was lying back against the puffy pillows. The other man moved to rummage around in his bedside drawers before settling his weight back on top of Akihito.

He didn't have a chance to see what it was he had grabbed before lips crashed against his and oh.

Oh.

That was not the chaste kiss that he was used to. Oh no. Lips moved against his own and a thumb pressed on his chin, opening his mouth for a tongue to swipe inside. It felt like Asami was invading his entire being, his weight pressed down on him, his strong arms holding him in place and Akihito wrapped his arms around his neck to have something to hold on. But more than anything, it felt so good. The chaste kisses had almost been awkward, just a hint, a bare taste of something more and Akihito was finally getting to experience what they had hinted at.

Slowly, almost reverently, Asami pulled Akihito out of his pyjamas. After each article of clothing he immediately captured his lips back in a kiss, not giving him a chance to feel shy or embarrassed. He removed the towel around his waist, tossing it to the floor and just like that, there was nothing left between them. Akihito could feel the entire length of Asami's hard body pressing against his own and found that his nervousness melted away with each press of warm skin against his own. His lips were beginning to feel a little puffy but he didn't want to pull away. Not now that he had tasted the other man, all he wanted was to stay locked in that embrace forever. It was comforting, that warm presence.

It changed from comforting to hot and wet very quickly with the introduction of teeth. Asami nipped at his lip, biting down just a little, enough to sting but not enough to break skin. Akihito soon found himself hard and wanting, writhing and panting under his soulmate as his neck was being lavished with attention. A wandering hand found his nipple and starting abusing that, earning louder and louder moans from Akihito. He honestly didn't think he had ever been so turned on in his life. Then that measurement of horniness went out the window when that same hand moved down to stroke his cock. Oh, now that was far better than doing it himself.

"Asami…" Akihito whispered as the man sat back onto his heels while he grabbed the thing from earlier. Lube, he realised as the lid was popped off and the slippery substance was spread over thick fingers.

"What should you be calling me?"

Confused, Akihito opened his mouth to repeat the name when he froze in realisation. "Ryuichi." He said shyly, the name the barest whisper. The other man must have heard it though, because he smiled at him warmly.

Moving Akihito's legs apart, he reached down between them as he dropped down onto his elbow, body once again covering his. The slippery fingers moved between his cheeks and gently massaged over his hole. Akihito's breath hitched as a shiver ran through his body in anticipation.

"Just relax for me, okay?"

He gave the barest nod in return and then a thick finger was pushing inside. It was an odd feeling, he wasn't sure if it was enjoyable or unpleasant at that point but he was soon distracted by lips pressing against his own once again.

Akihito lost track of time after that, all he was aware of was the increasing sparks of pleasure drawn by his soulmates knowledgeable hands and the kisses pressed to his lips, cheeks, neck, and chest. He wasn't sure how many fingers were moving inside of him at that point, all he knew was that he was drowning in pleasure and that he needed Asami to be closer. Desperately Akihito pulled his soulmate closer to him, hands scrabbling at his neck and back to try and pull him impossibly close. He was so beyond everything at that point he couldn't even feel the sharp stinging of his injured finger protesting the movement under the bandages as pain.

"Please." He whispered brokenly, trying to convey his need. "Please. Ryuichi, I-I need…"

"It's okay, I've got you." Asami husked into his ear before pulling back slightly as he removed his fingers. Trepidation fluttered through Akihito's chest as Asami pushed back his thighs and lined up his impossibly hard cock at his entrance. The feeling was quickly brushed aside as Asami pushed slowly inside. It was one long, slow movement for him to be buried right to the hilt.

The man dropped his weight back down onto Akihito and he pulled him closer still, wrapping his legs around him, trying to pull him closer, deeper. Asami kissed him again as he started to move and Akihito had never felt so loved, so warm and safe as he did right at that moment. He could feel the other man pulsing inside of him, his entire body running the length of his own and tears trickled down his cheeks of their own accord. They were joined together, so close that he didn't honestly know where he ended and the other man began and it just felt to right.

So he cried even as he moaned out his pleasure.

Asami kissed away the tears as he slowly increased in force and speed. He stayed as close as he could to Akihito, face hovering inches above his with golden eyes boring into his own as they shared the same breath. Bolts of pleasure were shooting through him and he cried out in shock when Asami shifted and it suddenly intensified. Golden eyes narrowed and then he was hitting that place over and over as Akihito writhed in ecstasy.

When he came it was with his soulmates name on his lips and his plaintive cries were joined by a low groan as Asami followed him over the precipice.

They lay locked in their intimate embrace for a long time, just breathing and soaking in the others presence. Asami was the first to move as he shifted slightly to take back some of his own weight but Akihito whined at the loss. He didn't care if the man was heavy, he didn't even notice, he was too focused on the intimate feeling of holding someone so tightly to himself.

"Akihito," Asami's lips brushed his ear as he spoke in the barest whisper. "Aishiteru."

Tears fell to once again be kissed away as Akihito sobbed freely.

Another piece of his heart slotted firmly back into place.

AN: For any not aware, Aishiteru is very, very rarely used in Japanese culture. It's supposed to be even deeper than I love you and many people would never use it at all or would only say it a handful of times in their lives. It felt fitting here but I'm pretty sure I'm never going to get another confession like that out of Asami ever again XD He's too stubborn and emotionally constipated for that haha